HE THAT hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief. Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection and means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great reason that those that have children, should have greatest care of future times; unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges. Some there are, who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts do end with themselves, and account future times impertinences. Nay, there are some other, that account wife and children, but as bills of charges. Nay more, there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take a pride, in having no children, because they may be thought so much the richer. For perhaps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a great rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge of children; as if it were an abatement to his riches. But the most ordinary cause of a single life, is liberty, especially in certain self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are so sensible of every restraint, as they will go near to think their girdles and garters, to be bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best servants; but not always best subjects; for they are light to run away; and almost all fugitives, are of that condition. A single life doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground, where it must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a servant, five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the generals commonly in their hortatives, put men in mind of their wives and children; and I think the despising of marriage amongst the Turks, maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity; and single men, though they may be many times more charitable, because their means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are more cruel and hardhearted (good to make severe inquisitors), because their tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom, and therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of Ulysses, vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati. Chaste women are often proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their chastity. It is one of the best bonds, both of chastity and obedience, in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will never do, if she find him jealous. Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses. So as a man may have a quarrel to marry, when he will. But yet he was reputed one of the wise men, that made answer to the question, when a man should marry,—A young man not yet, an elder man not at all. It is often seen that bad husbands, have very good wives; whether it be, that it raiseth the price of their husband's kindness, when it comes; or that the wives take a pride in their patience. But this never fails, if the bad husbands were of their own choosing, against their friends' consent; for then they will be sure to make good their own folly.
A man with a wife and children has given hostages to fortune. They hold him back from great undertakings, whether for good or evil. Certainly, the best and most valuable works for the public have come from unmarried or childless men. They have devoted both their love and their wealth to the public, as if marrying it. Yet those with children have the strongest reason to care about the future. They know they must leave their dearest treasures to it. Some men live alone, yet their thoughts go no further than themselves. They consider the future none of their concern. Others regard wives and children as nothing but expenses. Some foolish, rich, greedy men even take pride in having no children, hoping to seem richer. Perhaps they have heard someone say, “That man is very rich.” Then another objects, “Yes, but he has many children to support,” as though that reduced his wealth. But the most common reason for remaining single is freedom. This is especially true of self-indulgent, temperamental men who feel every restriction keenly. They almost think their belts and garters are chains and shackles. Unmarried men make the best friends, masters, and servants, but not always the best subjects. They are quick to flee, and almost all fugitives are unmarried. A single life suits the clergy. Charity can hardly water the surrounding ground when it must first fill a private pool. For judges and magistrates, marriage makes no difference. If they are weak and corrupt, a servant can influence them five times more harmfully than a wife. As for soldiers, generals commonly remind them of their wives and children when urging them into battle. I think the contempt for marriage among the Turks makes the ordinary soldier less noble. Certainly, wives and children are a kind of training in humanity. Single men may often be more charitable because their resources are less drained. Yet they are also more cruel and hardhearted, making them well suited to be harsh inquisitors. Their tenderness is not called upon so often. Serious men, guided by habit and therefore steady, are usually loving husbands. As was said of Ulysses, he preferred his aging wife to immortality. Chaste women are often proud and difficult, relying too much on the credit their chastity earns them. A wife's belief in her husband's wisdom is one of the strongest bonds securing her chastity and obedience. She will never think him wise if she finds him jealous. Wives are lovers to young men, companions to middle-aged men, and nurses to old men. So a man can find a reason to marry at any age. Yet the man who gave this answer was considered one of the wise. Asked when a man should marry, he replied, “A young man, not yet. An older man, not at all.” Bad husbands often have very good wives. Perhaps their rare kindness becomes more precious when it comes. Or perhaps their wives take pride in their patience. But this never fails when women have chosen bad husbands against their friends' wishes. Then they will be sure to defend their own foolish choice.