Chapter 78

Our Lord of His mercy sheweth us our sin and our feebleness by the sweet gracious light of Himself; for our sin is so vile and so horrible that He of His courtesy will not shew it to us but by the light of His grace and mercy. Of four things therefore it is His will that we have knowing: the first is, that He is our Ground from whom we have all our life and our being. The second is, that He keepeth us mightily and mercifully in the time that we are in our sin and among all our enemies, that are full fell upon us; and so much we are in the more peril for [that] we give them occasion thereto, and know not our own need.¹ The third is, how courteously He keepeth us, and maketh us to know that we go amiss. The fourth is, how steadfastly He abideth us and changeth no regard:² for He willeth that we be turned [again], and oned to Him in love as He is to us.

In his mercy, our Lord shows us our sin and weakness through his own sweet, gracious light. Our sin is so vile and horrible that, in his courtesy, he shows it to us only through the light of his grace and mercy. Therefore, he wants us to know four things. First, he is our foundation, from whom we receive all our life and our being. Second, he protects us with power and mercy while we are in our sin and among our enemies. These enemies are fierce against us. We are in all the more danger because we give them cause to attack us and do not know our own need.¹ Third, he wants us to know how graciously he protects us and makes us aware that we are going astray. Fourth, he wants us to know how steadfastly he waits for us, without changing his regard for us.² For he wants us to turn back and be united with him in love, as he is united with us.

And thus by this gracious knowing we may see our sin profitably without despair. For truly we need to see it, and by the sight we shall be made ashamed of our self and brought down as anent our pride and presumption; for it behoveth us verily to see that of ourselves we are right nought but sin and wretchedness. And thus by the sight of the less that our Lord sheweth us, the more is reckoned³ which we see not. For He of His courtesy measureth the sight to us; for it is so vile and so horrible that we should not endure to see it as it is. And by this meek knowing after this manner, through contrition and grace we shall be broken from all that is not our Lord. And then shall our blessed Saviour perfectly heal us, and one us to Him.

And so, through this gracious understanding, we can see our sin in a way that helps us, without despair. We truly need to see our sin. Seeing it will make us ashamed of ourselves and humble our pride and presumption. For we truly need to see that, by ourselves, we are nothing but sin and wretchedness. And so, from the smaller part that our Lord shows us, we can reckon³ the greater part that we do not see. In his kindness, he limits how much he lets us see. For sin is so vile and horrible that we could not bear to see it as it is. Through this humble understanding, and through repentance and grace, we will be freed from all that is not our Lord. Then our blessed saviour will heal us completely and unite us with him.

This breaking and this healing our Lord meaneth for the general Man. For he that is highest and nearest with God, he may see himself sinful—and needeth to—with me; and I that am the least and lowest that shall be saved, I may be comforted with him that is highest: so hath our Lord oned us in charity; [as] where He shewed me that I should sin.⁴

Our Lord intends this breaking and healing for all humanity. For even the person who is highest and closest to God may see that he is sinful, as I do. He needs to see this, too. And I, the least and lowest person who will be saved, may take comfort alongside the highest. In this way, our Lord has united us in love, as when he showed me that I would sin.⁴

And for joy that I had in beholding of Him I attended not readily to that Shewing, and our courteous Lord stopped there and would not further teach me till that He gave me grace and will to attend. And hereby was I learned that though we be highly lifted up into contemplation by the special gift of our Lord, yet it is needful to us therewith to have knowing and sight of our sin and our feebleness. For without this knowing we may not have true meekness, and without this [meekness] we may not be saved.

I was so joyful as I looked upon him that I did not readily pay attention to the revelation. Our gracious Lord stopped there and would not teach me more until he gave me the grace and desire to pay attention. From this I learned that we need to know and see our sin and weakness. This is true even when our Lord raises us high in contemplation through his special gift. For without knowing our sin and weakness, we cannot have true humility. And without humility, we cannot be saved.

And afterward, also, I saw that we may not have this knowing from our self; nor from none of all our spiritual enemies: for they will us not so great good. For if it were by their will, we should not see it until our ending day. Then be we greatly beholden⁵ to God for that He will Himself, for love, shew it to us in time of mercy and grace.

Afterward, I also saw that we cannot gain this knowledge from ourselves or from any of our spiritual enemies. For they do not wish us so much good. If they had their way, we would not see it until the day we die. So we are deeply indebted⁵ to God, because he himself chooses, out of love, to show it to us in this time of mercy and grace.