Chapter 79

Also I had of this [Revelation] more understanding. In that He shewed me that I should sin, I took it nakedly to mine own singular person, for I was none otherwise shewed at that time. But by the high, gracious comfort of our Lord that followed after, I saw that His meaning was for the general Man: that is to say, All-Man; which is sinful and shall be unto the last day. Of which Man I am a member, as I hope, by the mercy of God. For the blessed comfort that I saw, it is large enough for us all. And here was I learned that I should see mine own sin, and not other men's sins but if it may be for comfort and help of mine even-Christians.

I also came to understand more about this revelation. When he showed me that I would sin, I took it to mean only myself. At the time, I had been shown nothing else. But through the great, gracious comfort our Lord gave me afterward, I saw that he meant humanity in general, that is, all people. Humanity is sinful and will remain so until the last day. I hope that, through God’s mercy, I am a member of humanity. For the blessed comfort I saw is great enough for us all. Here I was taught to look at my own sin, not other people’s sins, unless doing so could comfort and help my fellow Christians.

And also in this same Shewing where I saw that I should sin, there was I learned to be in dread for unsureness of myself. For I wot not how I shall fall, nor I know not the measure nor the greatness of sin; for that would I have wist, with dread, and thereto I had none answer.

In this same revelation, I saw that I would sin. I was also taught to be afraid because I could not be sure of myself. For I do not know how I will fall, or the extent or greatness of my sin. I wanted to know this, with fear, but I received no answer.

Also our courteous Lord in the same time He shewed full surely and mightily the endlessness and the unchangeability of His love; and, afterward, that by His great goodness and His grace inwardly keeping, the love of Him and our soul shall never be disparted in two, without end.¹

At the same time, our gracious Lord showed very clearly and powerfully that his love is endless and unchanging. Then he showed that his great goodness and grace keep us inwardly, so that his love and our soul will never be separated.¹

And thus in this dread I have matter of meekness that saveth me from presumption, and in the blessed Shewing of Love I have matter of true comfort and of joy that saveth me from despair. All this homely Shewing of our courteous Lord, it is a lovely lesson and a sweet, gracious teaching of Himself in comforting of our soul. For He willeth that we [should] know by the sweetness and homely loving of Him, that all that we see or feel, within or without, that is contrary to this is of the enemy and not of God. And thus;—If we be stirred to be the more reckless of our living or of the keeping of our hearts because that we have knowing of this plenteous love, then need we greatly to beware. For this stirring, if it come, is untrue; and greatly we ought to hate it, for it all hath no likeness of God's will. And when that we be fallen, by frailty or blindness, then our courteous Lord toucheth us and stirreth us and calleth us; and then willeth He that we see our wretchedness and meekly be aware of it.² But He willeth not that we abide thus, nor He willeth not that we busy us greatly about our accusing, nor He willeth not that we be wretched over our self;³ but He willeth that we hastily turn ourselves unto Him. For He standeth all aloof and abideth us sorrowfully and mournfully till when we come, and hath haste to have us to Him. For we are His joy and His delight, and He is our salve and our life.

And so, in this fear, I find reason for humility, which saves me from presumption. And in the blessed showing of love, I find true comfort and joy, which save me from despair. This whole familiar showing from our gracious Lord is a lovely lesson. It is a sweet and gracious teaching about himself, given to comfort our souls. For he wants us to know him through his sweet and familiar love. He wants us to know that everything we see or feel, within or without, that is contrary to this love comes from the enemy, not from God. So if knowing of this abundant love moves us to be more careless in our lives or in guarding our hearts, we need to be very careful. For if this impulse comes, it is false, and we should hate it deeply. It bears no likeness at all to God’s will. And when we have fallen through weakness or blindness, our gracious Lord touches us, stirs us, and calls us. Then he wants us to see our wretchedness and humbly acknowledge it.² But he does not want us to remain in that state. Nor does he want us to spend much time accusing ourselves or to be miserable about ourselves.³ Instead, he wants us to turn quickly to him. For he stands apart, waiting for us in sorrow and grief until we come. And he is eager to have us with him. For we are his joy and delight, and he is our healing and our life.

When I say He standeth all alone, I leave the speaking of the blessed Company of heaven, and speak of His office and His working here on earth,—upon the condition of the Shewing.

When I say he stands all alone, I am not speaking of the blessed company of heaven. I am speaking of his role and his work here on earth, as shown in the revelation.