They said, when we went out, that we must travel to Wachusett this day. But a bitter weary day I had of it, traveling now three days together, without resting any day between. At last, after many weary steps, I saw Wachusett hills, but many miles off. Then we came to a great swamp, through which we traveled, up to the knees in mud and water, which was heavy going to one tired before. Being almost spent, I thought I should have sunk down at last, and never got out; but I may say, as in Psalm 94.18, "When my foot slipped, thy mercy, O Lord, held me up." Going along, having indeed my life, but little spirit, Philip, who was in the company, came up and took me by the hand, and said, two weeks more and you shall be mistress again. I asked him, if he spake true? He answered, "Yes, and quickly you shall come to your master again; who had been gone from us three weeks." After many weary steps we came to Wachusett, where he was: and glad I was to see him. He asked me, when I washed me? I told him not this month. Then he fetched me some water himself, and bid me wash, and gave me the glass to see how I looked; and bid his squaw give me something to eat. So she gave me a mess of beans and meat, and a little ground nut cake. I was wonderfully revived with this favor showed me: "He made them also to be pitied of all those that carried them captives" (Psalm 106.46).
When we set out, they said we had to travel to Wachusett that day. But it was a bitterly exhausting day for me. I had now traveled three days in a row, without a day of rest between them. At last, after many weary steps, I saw the Wachusett hills, but they were still many miles away. Then we came to a great swamp and traveled through it, knee-deep in mud and water. The going was hard for someone already so tired. Almost exhausted, I thought I would finally sink down and never get out. But I can say, as in Psalm 94.18, "When my foot slipped, your mercy, O Lord, held me up." As I went along, still alive but with little spirit left, Philip, who was with the group, approached me. He took me by the hand and said that in two more weeks I would be mistress again. I asked him if he was telling the truth. He answered, "Yes, and soon you will return to your master." My master had been away from us for three weeks. After many weary steps, we came to Wachusett, where my master was staying. I was glad to see him. He asked me when I had last washed. I told him I had not washed in a month. Then he fetched me some water himself and told me to wash. He gave me a mirror to see how I looked and told his wife to give me something to eat. So she gave me a serving of beans and meat, and a little groundnut cake. This kindness wonderfully revived me: "He also made all those who held them captive pity them" (Psalm 106.46).
My master had three squaws, living sometimes with one, and sometimes with another one, this old squaw, at whose wigwam I was, and with whom my master had been those three weeks. Another was Wattimore [Weetamoo] with whom I had lived and served all this while. A severe and proud dame she was, bestowing every day in dressing herself neat as much time as any of the gentry of the land: powdering her hair, and painting her face, going with necklaces, with jewels in her ears, and bracelets upon her hands. When she had dressed herself, her work was to make girdles of wampum and beads. The third squaw was a younger one, by whom he had two papooses. By the time I was refreshed by the old squaw, with whom my master was, Weetamoo's maid came to call me home, at which I fell aweeping. Then the old squaw told me, to encourage me, that if I wanted victuals, I should come to her, and that I should lie there in her wigwam. Then I went with the maid, and quickly came again and lodged there. The squaw laid a mat under me, and a good rug over me; the first time I had any such kindness showed me. I understood that Weetamoo thought that if she should let me go and serve with the old squaw, she would be in danger to lose not only my service, but the redemption pay also. And I was not a little glad to hear this; being by it raised in my hopes, that in God's due time there would be an end of this sorrowful hour. Then came an Indian, and asked me to knit him three pair of stockings, for which I had a hat, and a silk handkerchief. Then another asked me to make her a shift, for which she gave me an apron.
My master had three wives and lived sometimes with one, sometimes with another. One was the old woman whose wigwam I was in. My master had been staying with her for those three weeks. Another was Wattimore [Weetamoo], whom I had lived with and served all this time. She was a stern, proud woman. Every day she spent as much time dressing neatly as any of the gentry in the land. She powdered her hair, painted her face, and wore necklaces, jewels in her ears, and bracelets on her wrists. Once she was dressed, her work was making belts of wampum and beads. His third wife was younger, and he had two children with her. By the time the old woman had refreshed me, Weetamoo's maid came to call me home, and I began crying. To encourage me, the old woman told me that if I wanted food, I should come to her. She also told me I could sleep in her wigwam. Then I went with the maid, but soon returned and spent the night there. The old woman laid a mat beneath me and a good blanket over me. This was the first time anyone had shown me such kindness. I understood that Weetamoo feared letting me go and serve the old woman. If she did, she might lose not only my service but also my ransom money. I was very glad to hear of her concern. It raised my hopes that, in God's own time, this sorrowful hour would end. Then an Indian man came and asked me to knit him three pairs of stockings. In return, I received a hat and a silk handkerchief. Then another woman asked me to make her an undergarment, for which she gave me an apron.
Then came Tom and Peter, with the second letter from the council, about the captives. Though they were Indians, I got them by the hand, and burst out into tears. My heart was so full that I could not speak to them; but recovering myself, I asked them how my husband did, and all my friends and acquaintance? They said, "They are all very well but melancholy." They brought me two biscuits, and a pound of tobacco. The tobacco I quickly gave away. When it was all gone, one asked me to give him a pipe of tobacco. I told him it was all gone. Then began he to rant and threaten. I told him when my husband came I would give him some. Hang him rogue (says he) I will knock out his brains, if he comes here. And then again, in the same breath they would say that if there should come an hundred without guns, they would do them no hurt. So unstable and like madmen they were. So that fearing the worst, I durst not send to my husband, though there were some thoughts of his coming to redeem and fetch me, not knowing what might follow. For there was little more trust to them than to the master they served. When the letter was come, the Sagamores met to consult about the captives, and called me to them to inquire how much my husband would give to redeem me. When I came I sat down among them, as I was wont to do, as their manner is. Then they bade me stand up, and said they were the General Court. They bid me speak what I thought he would give. Now knowing that all we had was destroyed by the Indians, I was in a great strait. I thought if I should speak of but a little it would be slighted, and hinder the matter; if of a great sum, I knew not where it would be procured. Yet at a venture I said "Twenty pounds," yet desired them to take less. But they would not hear of that, but sent that message to Boston, that for twenty pounds I should be redeemed. It was a Praying Indian that wrote their letter for them. There was another Praying Indian, who told me, that he had a brother, that would not eat horse; his conscience was so tender and scrupulous (though as large as hell, for the destruction of poor Christians). Then he said, he read that Scripture to him, "There was a famine in Samaria, and behold they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for four-score pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver" (2 Kings 6.25). He expounded this place to his brother, and showed him that it was lawful to eat that in a famine which is not at another time. And now, says he, he will eat horse with any Indian of them all. There was another Praying Indian, who when he had done all the mischief that he could, betrayed his own father into the English hands, thereby to purchase his own life. Another Praying Indian was at Sudbury fight, though, as he deserved, he was afterward hanged for it. There was another Praying Indian, so wicked and cruel, as to wear a string about his neck, strung with Christians' fingers. Another Praying Indian, when they went to Sudbury fight, went with them, and his squaw also with him, with her papoose at her back. Before they went to that fight they got a company together to pow-wow. The manner was as followeth: there was one that kneeled upon a deerskin, with the company round him in a ring who kneeled, and striking upon the ground with their hands, and with sticks, and muttering or humming with their mouths. Besides him who kneeled in the ring, there also stood one with a gun in his hand. Then he on the deerskin made a speech, and all manifested assent to it; and so they did many times together. Then they bade him with the gun go out of the ring, which he did. But when he was out, they called him in again; but he seemed to make a stand; then they called the more earnestly, till he returned again. Then they all sang. Then they gave him two guns, in either hand one. And so he on the deerskin began again; and at the end of every sentence in his speaking, they all assented, humming or muttering with their mouths, and striking upon the ground with their hands. Then they bade him with the two guns go out of the ring again; which he did, a little way. Then they called him in again, but he made a stand. So they called him with greater earnestness; but he stood reeling and wavering as if he knew not whither he should stand or fall, or which way to go. Then they called him with exceeding great vehemency, all of them, one and another. After a little while he turned in, staggering as he went, with his arms stretched out, in either hand a gun. As soon as he came in they all sang and rejoiced exceedingly a while. And then he upon the deerskin, made another speech unto which they all assented in a rejoicing manner. And so they ended their business, and forthwith went to Sudbury fight. To my thinking they went without any scruple, but that they should prosper, and gain the victory. And they went out not so rejoicing, but they came home with as great a victory. For they said they had killed two captains and almost an hundred men. One Englishman they brought along with them: and he said, it was too true, for they had made sad work at Sudbury, as indeed it proved. Yet they came home without that rejoicing and triumphing over their victory which they were wont to show at other times; but rather like dogs (as they say) which have lost their ears. Yet I could not perceive that it was for their own loss of men. They said they had not lost above five or six; and I missed none, except in one wigwam. When they went, they acted as if the devil had told them that they should gain the victory; and now they acted as if the devil had told them they should have a fall. Whither it were so or no, I cannot tell, but so it proved, for quickly they began to fall, and so held on that summer, till they came to utter ruin. They came home on a Sabbath day, and the Powaw that kneeled upon the deer-skin came home (I may say, without abuse) as black as the devil. When my master came home, he came to me and bid me make a shirt for his papoose, of a holland-laced pillowbere. About that time there came an Indian to me and bid me come to his wigwam at night, and he would give me some pork and ground nuts. Which I did, and as I was eating, another Indian said to me, he seems to be your good friend, but he killed two Englishmen at Sudbury, and there lie their clothes behind you: I looked behind me, and there I saw bloody clothes, with bullet-holes in them. Yet the Lord suffered not this wretch to do me any hurt. Yea, instead of that, he many times refreshed me; five or six times did he and his squaw refresh my feeble carcass. If I went to their wigwam at any time, they would always give me something, and yet they were strangers that I never saw before. Another squaw gave me a piece of fresh pork, and a little salt with it, and lent me her pan to fry it in; and I cannot but remember what a sweet, pleasant and delightful relish that bit had to me, to this day. So little do we prize common mercies when we have them to the full.
Then Tom and Peter arrived with the council’s second letter about the captives. Though they were Indians, I took them by the hand and burst into tears. My heart was so full that I could not speak to them. But after recovering, I asked how my husband, friends, and acquaintances were doing. They said, "They are all very well but sad." They brought me two biscuits and a pound of tobacco. I quickly gave away the tobacco. When it was all gone, one man asked me for a pipeful. I told him the tobacco was all gone. Then he began to rant and threaten me. I told him I would give him some when my husband came. Hang the rogue, he said. I will knock his brains out if he comes here. Yet in the same breath, they would say they would not hurt even a hundred men who came without guns. They were so changeable, and behaved like madmen. So, fearing the worst, I did not dare send word to my husband. There had been some thought of his coming to ransom me and take me home. But I did not know what might happen. They could be trusted little more than the master they served. When the letter arrived, the Sagamores met to discuss the captives. They summoned me to ask how much my husband would pay for my release. When I came, I sat among them, as I usually did, following their custom. Then they told me to stand and said they were the General Court. They told me to say how much I thought he would pay. I knew the Indians had destroyed everything we owned, so I was in a terrible difficulty. If I named too little, I thought they would dismiss the offer and hold up my release. If I named a large sum, I did not know where the money could be found. Still, I took a chance and said, "Twenty pounds," though I asked them to accept less. But they would not hear of accepting less. They sent word to Boston that I could be ransomed for twenty pounds. A Praying Indian, an Indian converted to Christianity, wrote their letter for them. Another Praying Indian told me he had a brother who would not eat horse meat. His brother’s conscience was so tender and particular, though as vast as hell when it came to destroying poor Christians. Then the man said he had read this Scripture to his brother: "There was a famine in Samaria. They besieged it until a donkey’s head sold for eighty pieces of silver. A quarter of a cab of dove’s dung sold for five pieces of silver" (2 Kings 6.25). He explained this passage to his brother. He showed him that famine made it lawful to eat things that were not lawful at other times. And now, he said, his brother would eat horse meat as readily as any Indian among them. Another Praying Indian, after doing all the harm he could, betrayed his own father to the English to save his own life. Another Praying Indian fought at Sudbury, though he was later hanged for it, as he deserved. Another Praying Indian was so wicked and cruel that he wore a string of Christians’ fingers around his neck. Another Praying Indian went with the others to fight at Sudbury. His wife went too, carrying her baby on her back. Before leaving for that battle, they gathered a group to hold a pow-wow. This was how they did it: one man knelt on a deerskin, with the others kneeling in a circle around him. They struck the ground with their hands and sticks, muttering or humming. Besides the man kneeling in the circle, another man stood holding a gun. Then the man on the deerskin gave a speech, and everyone showed agreement. They repeated this many times. Then they told the man with the gun to leave the circle, and he did. But once he was outside, they called him back. He seemed to hesitate. Then they called more urgently until he returned. Then they all sang. Next, they gave him two guns, one in each hand. The man on the deerskin began speaking again. At the end of every sentence, everyone showed agreement by humming or muttering and striking the ground with their hands. Then they told the man with the two guns to leave the circle again. He went a short distance. Then they called him back, but he hesitated. So they called more urgently. But he stood swaying and staggering, as if unsure whether he would stand or fall, or which way to go. Then all of them called to him with tremendous force, one after another. After a little while, he turned back into the circle, staggering as he went. His arms were stretched out, with a gun in each hand. As soon as he entered, they all sang and rejoiced greatly for a while. Then the man on the deerskin made another speech, and everyone agreed with great joy. So they finished the ceremony and immediately left to fight at Sudbury. To my mind, they went without any doubt that they would succeed and win the victory. Their victory on returning was as great as their joy when they left. For they said they had killed two captains and almost a hundred men. They brought an Englishman with them. He said their account was all too true, for they had done terrible things at Sudbury, as indeed proved true. Yet they returned without the rejoicing and triumph they usually showed after a victory. Instead, they were like dogs, as the saying goes, that had lost their ears. Yet I could not see that their mood came from losing their own men. They said they had lost no more than five or six. I noticed no one missing except in one wigwam. When they left, they acted as if the devil had told them they would win. Now they acted as if the devil had told them they would suffer defeat. Whether that was so, I cannot say. But defeat did follow. Soon they began to fall, and their decline continued that summer until they were utterly ruined. They returned on a Sabbath day. The Powaw, the spiritual leader who had knelt on the deerskin, returned as black as the devil. I can say this without exaggeration. When my master returned, he told me to make a shirt for his baby from a lace-trimmed fine linen pillowcase. Around that time, an Indian told me to come to his wigwam that night. He would give me some pork and groundnuts. I went, and while I was eating, another Indian spoke to me. He seems to be your good friend, he said. But he killed two Englishmen at Sudbury, and their clothes are lying behind you. I looked behind me and saw bloody clothes with bullet holes in them. Yet the Lord did not allow this wretch to hurt me. Instead, the man often gave me food and restored my strength. Five or six times, he and his wife nourished my feeble body. Whenever I went to their wigwam, they always gave me something. Yet they were strangers whom I had never seen before. Another woman gave me a piece of fresh pork with a little salt. She also lent me her pan to fry it in. To this day, I cannot help remembering how sweet, pleasant, and delicious that small piece tasted. We value everyday mercies so little when we have them in abundance.