Candide, yet more moved with compassion than with horror, gave to this shocking beggar the two florins which he had received from the honest Anabaptist James. The spectre looked at him very earnestly, dropped a few tears, and fell upon his neck. Candide recoiled in disgust.
Candide felt more compassion than horror. He gave the beggar the two florins he had received from the honest Anabaptist James. The spectre looked at him intently. It shed a few tears and fell upon his neck. Candide recoiled in disgust.
"Alas!" said one wretch to the other, "do you no longer know your dear Pangloss?"
"Oh no," said one wretch to the other. "Don't you remember your dear Pangloss?"
"What do I hear? You, my dear master! you in this terrible plight! What misfortune has happened to you? Why are you no longer in the most magnificent of castles? What has become of Miss Cunegonde, the pearl of girls, and nature's masterpiece?"
"What do I hear? You, my dear master! You, in this terrible state! What misfortune has happened to you? Why are you no longer in the most magnificent of castles? What has become of Miss Cunegonde, the pearl of girls, and nature's masterpiece?"
"I am so weak that I cannot stand," said Pangloss.
"I am too weak to stand," said Pangloss.
Upon which Candide carried him to the Anabaptist's stable, and gave him a crust of bread. As soon as Pangloss had refreshed himself a little:
Candide carried him to the Anabaptist's stable and gave him a crust of bread. As soon as Pangloss had refreshed himself a little:
"Well," said Candide, "Cunegonde?"
"So," said Candide. "And Cunegonde?"
"She is dead," replied the other.
"She's dead," the other replied.
Candide fainted at this word; his friend recalled his senses with a little bad vinegar which he found by chance in the stable. Candide reopened his eyes.
Candide fainted at the word. His friend revived him with a little bad vinegar he had found by chance in the stable. Candide reopened his eyes.
"Cunegonde is dead! Ah, best of worlds, where art thou? But of what illness did she die? Was it not for grief, upon seeing her father kick me out of his magnificent castle?"
"Cunegonde is dead! Ah, best of worlds, where are you? What illness did she die of? Was it not from grief after she saw her father kick me out of his magnificent castle?"
"No," said Pangloss, "she was ripped open by the Bulgarian soldiers, after having been violated by many; they broke the Baron's head for attempting to defend her; my lady, her mother, was cut in pieces; my poor pupil was served just in the same manner as his sister; and as for the castle, they have not left one stone upon another, not a barn, nor a sheep, nor a duck, nor a tree; but we have had our revenge, for the Abares have done the very same thing to a neighbouring barony, which belonged to a Bulgarian lord."
"No," said Pangloss, "they raped her and then the Bulgarian soldiers tore her open. They broke the Baron's head when he tried to defend her. The lady, her mother, was cut to pieces. My poor pupil met the same fate as his sister. As for the castle, they left not one stone on another. Not a barn, not a sheep, not a duck, not a tree remained. But we had our revenge. The Abares did exactly the same to a neighboring barony that belonged to a Bulgarian lord."
At this discourse Candide fainted again; but coming to himself, and having said all that it became him to say, inquired into the cause and effect, as well as into the sufficient reason that had reduced Pangloss to so miserable a plight.
At these words Candide fainted again. When he came to, he said everything he should. Then he asked about the cause and effect. He also asked about the sufficient reason that had brought Pangloss into such a miserable plight.
"Alas!" said the other, "it was love; love, the comfort of the human species, the preserver of the universe, the soul of all sensible beings, love, tender love."
"Oh no!" said the other, "it was love. Love, the comfort of humanity. The preserver of the universe. The soul of all sentient beings. Love, tender love."
"Alas!" said Candide, "I know this love, that sovereign of hearts, that soul of our souls; yet it never cost me more than a kiss and twenty kicks on the backside. How could this beautiful cause produce in you an effect so abominable?"
"Alas!" said Candide, "I know this love. It rules hearts and is the very soul of us. Yet it never cost me more than a kiss and twenty kicks on the backside. How could such a beautiful thing produce such an abominable effect in you?"
Pangloss made answer in these terms: "Oh, my dear Candide, you remember Paquette, that pretty wench who waited on our noble Baroness; in her arms I tasted the delights of paradise, which produced in me those hell torments with which you see me devoured; she was infected with them, she is perhaps dead of them. This present Paquette received of a learned Grey Friar, who had traced it to its source; he had had it of an old countess, who had received it from a cavalry captain, who owed it to a marchioness, who took it from a page, who had received it from a Jesuit, who when a novice had it in a direct line from one of the companions of Christopher Columbus. For my part I shall give it to nobody, I am dying."
Pangloss answered in these words: "Oh, my dear Candide, you remember Paquette, that pretty servant who waited on our noble Baroness. In her arms I tasted the delights of paradise. Those pleasures produced the hellish torments that now devour me. She caught them too. She may be dead from them. This very Paquette got them from a learned Grey Friar, who had traced the infection to its source. He had received it from an old countess. She got it from a cavalry captain. The captain had it from a marchioness. The marchioness took it from a page. The page had it from a Jesuit. The Jesuit, when he was a novice, caught it directly from one of Christopher Columbus's companions. As for me, I will give it to no one. I am dying."
Venereal disease was said to have been first brought from Hispaniola, in the West Indies, by some followers of Columbus who were later employed in the siege of Naples. From this latter circumstance it was at one time known as the Neapolitan disease.
"Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide, "what a strange genealogy! Is not the Devil the original stock of it?"
"Oh, Pangloss!" Candide cried. "What a strange family tree! Isn't the Devil its original ancestor?"
"Not at all," replied this great man, "it was a thing unavoidable, a necessary ingredient in the best of worlds; for if Columbus had not in an island of America caught this disease, which contaminates the source of life, frequently even hinders generation, and which is evidently opposed to the great end of nature, we should have neither chocolate nor cochineal. We are also to observe that upon our continent, this distemper is like religious controversy, confined to a particular spot. The Turks, the Indians, the Persians, the Chinese, the Siamese, the Japanese, know nothing of it; but there is a sufficient reason for believing that they will know it in their turn in a few centuries. In the meantime, it has made marvellous progress among us, especially in those great armies composed of honest well-disciplined hirelings, who decide the destiny of states; for we may safely affirm that when an army of thirty thousand men fights another of an equal number, there are about twenty thousand of them p-x-d on each side."
"Not at all," replied this great man. "It was unavoidable, a necessary ingredient in the best of worlds. Columbus caught this disease on an island of America. It poisons the source of life. It often even prevents reproduction. It is plainly opposed to the great purpose of nature. Yet if Columbus had not caught it, we would have neither chocolate nor cochineal. We should also observe that on our continent this disease, like religious controversy, is confined to a particular spot. The Turks, the Indians, the Persians, the Chinese, the Siamese, and the Japanese know nothing of it. But there is a sufficient reason for believing that they will know it in their turn, in a few centuries. Meanwhile it has made marvelous progress among us. This is especially true in those great armies of honest, well-disciplined hirelings who decide the destiny of states. For we may safely affirm that when an army of thirty thousand men fights another of equal size, about twenty thousand of them on each side are p-x-d."
"Well, this is wonderful!" said Candide, "but you must get cured."
"Well, this is wonderful!" Candide said. "But you need to get treated."
"Alas! how can I?" said Pangloss, "I have not a farthing, my friend, and all over the globe there is no letting of blood or taking a glister, without paying, or somebody paying for you."
"Alas! How can I?" said Pangloss. "I don't have a farthing, my friend. Everywhere in the world, you cannot have bloodletting or an enema without paying. Either you pay, or someone pays for you."
These last words determined Candide; he went and flung himself at the feet of the charitable Anabaptist James, and gave him so touching a picture of the state to which his friend was reduced, that the good man did not scruple to take Dr. Pangloss into his house, and had him cured at his expense. In the cure Pangloss lost only an eye and an ear. He wrote well, and knew arithmetic perfectly. The Anabaptist James made him his bookkeeper. At the end of two months, being obliged to go to Lisbon about some mercantile affairs, he took the two philosophers with him in his ship. Pangloss explained to him how everything was so constituted that it could not be better. James was not of this opinion.
Those last words decided Candide. He went and threw himself at the feet of the generous Anabaptist James. He gave such a moving account of his friend's condition that the good man did not hesitate to take Dr. Pangloss into his home and pay for his treatment. During the treatment Pangloss lost only an eye and an ear. He wrote well and knew arithmetic perfectly. The Anabaptist James made him his bookkeeper. After two months, James had to go to Lisbon on business. He took the two philosophers with him on his ship. Pangloss told him that everything was arranged so it could not be better. James did not agree.
"It is more likely," said he, "mankind have a little corrupted nature, for they were not born wolves, and they have become wolves; God has given them neither cannon of four-and-twenty pounders, nor bayonets; and yet they have made cannon and bayonets to destroy one another. Into this account I might throw not only bankrupts, but Justice which seizes on the effects of bankrupts to cheat the creditors."
"It is more likely," he said, "that mankind have somewhat corrupted their nature. They were not born wolves, but they have become wolves. God did not give them twenty-four-pound cannons or bayonets, yet they made cannons and bayonets to destroy each other. I could also add bankrupts to this account, and Justice that seizes a bankrupt's property to cheat the creditors."
"All this was indispensable," replied the one-eyed doctor, "for private misfortunes make the general good, so that the more private misfortunes there are the greater is the general good."
"All this was necessary," replied the one-eyed doctor. "Private misfortunes serve the common good. The more private misfortunes there are, the greater the common good."
While he reasoned, the sky darkened, the winds blew from the four quarters, and the ship was assailed by a most terrible tempest within sight of the port of Lisbon.
While he argued, the sky darkened. Winds blew from every direction. The ship was struck by a terrible storm while still within sight of the port of Lisbon.