Expulsion, New Adventures, and the Demon of Socrates

At length I resolved to march forwards, till Fortune should afford me the company of some Beasts, or at least the means of Dying. She favourably granted my desire; for within half a quarter of a League, I met two huge Animals, one of which stopt before me, and the other fled swiftly to its Den; for so I thought at least; because that some time after, I perceived it come back again in company of above Seven or Eight hundred of the same kind, who beset me. When I could discern them at a near distance, I perceived that they were proportioned and shaped like us. This adventure brought into my mind the old Wives Tales of my Nurse concerning Syrenes, Faunes and Satyrs: Ever now and then they raised such furious Shouts, occasioned undoubtedly by their Admiration¹ at the sight of me, that I thought I was e'en turned a Monster. At length one of these Beast-like men, catching hold of me by the Neck, just as Wolves do when they carry away Sheep, tossed me upon his back and brought me into their Town; where I was more amazed than before, when I knew they were Men, that I could meet with none of them but who marched upon all four.

At last, I decided to march on until Fortune brought me some beasts for company, or at least a way to die. She kindly granted my wish. Within half a quarter of a league, I met two huge animals. One stopped in front of me, while the other fled swiftly to its den. At least, that was what I thought. Some time later, I saw it return with more than seven or eight hundred of its own kind. They surrounded me. When I could see them up close, I realized they were shaped and proportioned like us. This encounter reminded me of my nurse's old wives' tales about Syrenes, Faunes and Satyrs. Every now and then, they raised such furious shouts that I thought I had turned into a monster. Their shouts were undoubtedly caused by their amazement¹ at seeing me. At last, one of these beast-like men seized me by the neck, just as wolves do when carrying off sheep. He tossed me onto his back and carried me into their town. There I realized they were men, which made me even more amazed that everyone I met walked on all fours.

When these People saw that I was so little, (for most of them are Twelve Cubits long,) and that I walked only upon Two Legs, they could not believe me to be a Man: For they were of opinion, that Nature having given to men as well as Beasts Two Legs and Two Arms, they should both make use of them alike. And, indeed, reflecting upon that since, that scituation of Body did not seem to me altogether extravagant; when I called to mind, that whilst Children are still under the nurture of Nature, they go upon all four, and that they rise not on their two Legs but by the care of their Nurses; who set them in little running Chairs, and fasten straps to them, to hinder them from falling on all four, as the only posture that the shape of our Body naturally inclines to rest in.

When these People saw how small I was and that I walked on only two legs, they could not believe I was a man. Most of them are twelve cubits tall. They believed that nature had given men and beasts two legs and two arms, so both should use them alike. Indeed, when I thought about it afterward, their way of holding the body did not seem entirely absurd. I remembered that children go on all fours while they are still in nature's care. They rise onto two legs only through the care of their nurses. The nurses put them in little wheeled chairs and fasten straps to them to keep them from falling onto all fours. Yet that is the only posture in which the shape of our bodies naturally inclines us to rest.

They said then, (as I had it interpreted to me since) That I was infallibly the Female of the Queens little Animal. And therefore as such, or somewhat else, I was carried streight to the Town-House, where I observed by the muttering and gestures both of the People and Magistrates, that they were consulting what sort of a thing I could be. When they had conferred together a long while, a certain Burgher, who had the keeping of the strange Beasts, besought the Mayor and Aldermen to commit me to his Custody, till the Queen should send for me to couple me to my Male. This was granted without any difficulty, and that Juggler carried me to his House; where he taught me to Tumble, Vault, make Mouths, and shew a Hundred odd Tricks, for which in the Afternoons he received Money at the door from those that came in to see me.

They said then, as I was told afterward through an interpreter, that I was certainly the female of the Queen's little animal. So, as such or as something else, I was taken straight to the town hall. There, from the muttering and gestures of the people and officials, I could see they were discussing what sort of creature I might be. After they had talked for a long time, a townsman who kept the strange animals appealed to the mayor and aldermen. He asked them to put me in his care until the Queen sent for me to mate me with my male. They agreed without difficulty, and that showman took me to his house. There he taught me to tumble, vault, make faces, and perform a hundred odd tricks. In the afternoons, he collected money at the door from people who came to see me perform them.

But Heaven pitying my Sorrows, and vext to see the Temple of its Maker profaned, so ordered it, that one day [when] I was tied to a Rope, wherewith the Mountebank made me Leap and Skip to divert the People, I heard a Man's voice, who asked me what I was, in Greek. I was much surprised to hear one speak in that Country as they do in our World. He put some Questions to me, which I answered, and then gave him a full account of my whole design, and the success of my Travels: He took the pains to comfort me, and, as I take it, said to me: "Well, Son, at length you suffer for the frailties of your World: There is a Mobile² here, as well as there, that can sway with nothing but what they are accustomed to: But know, that you are but justly served; for had any one of this Earth had the boldness to mount up to yours, and call himself a Man, your Sages would have destroyed him as a Monster."

But Heaven took pity on my sorrows and was angry to see the temple of its maker profaned. So one day, while I was tied to a rope, I heard a man's voice. The mountebank was making me leap and skip on the rope to entertain the crowd. The man asked me in Greek what I was. I was astonished to hear someone speak in that country as they do in our world. He asked me some questions, and I answered them. Then I gave him a full account of my whole purpose and the outcome of my travels. He took the trouble to comfort me. As I recall, he said: "Well, son, you are finally suffering for the weaknesses of your world. There is a Mobile² here, just as there is in your world. It can be swayed only by what it is accustomed to. But know that you are being treated justly. For if anyone from this Earth had dared to ascend to yours and call himself a man, your sages would have destroyed him as a monster."

He then told me, That he would acquaint the Court with my disaster; adding, that so soon as he had heard the news that went of me, he came to see me, and was satisfied that I was a man of the World of which I said I was; because he had Travelled there formerly, and sojourned in Greece, where he was called the Demon of Socrates: That after the Death of that Philosopher, he had governed and taught Epaminondas at Thebes: After which being gone over to the Romans, Justice had obliged him to espouse the party of the Younger Cato: That after his Death, he had addicted himself to Brutus: That all these great Men having left in that World no more but the shadow of their Virtues, he with his Companions had retreated to Temples and Solitudes. "In a word," added he, "the People of your World became so dull and stupid, that my Companions and I lost all the Pleasure that formerly we had had in instructing them: Not but that you have heard Men talk of us; for they called us Oracles, Nymphs, Geniuses, Fairies, Houshold-Gods, Lemmes,³ Larves⁴ Lamiers,⁵ Hobgoblins, Nayades, Incubusses, Shades, Manes, Visions and Apparitions: We abandoned your World, in the Reign of Augustus, not long after I had appeared to Drusus the Son of Livia, who waged War in Germany, whom I forbid to proceed any farther. It is not long since I came from thence a second time; within these Hundred Years I had a Commission to Travel thither: I roamed a great deal in Europe, and conversed with some, whom possibly you may have known. One Day, amongst others, I appeared to Cardan,⁶ as he was at his Study; I taught him a great many things, and he in acknowledgment promised me to inform Posterity of whom he had those Wonders, which he intended to leave in writing.⁷ There I saw Agrippa⁸ the Abbot Trithemius⁹ Doctor Faustus, La Brosse, Cæsar,¹⁰ and a certain Cabal of Young Men, who are commonly called Rosacrucians¹¹ or Knights of the Red Cross, whom I taught a great many Knacks and Secrets of Nature, which without doubt have made them pass for great Magicians: I knew Campanella¹² also; it was I that advised him, whilst he was in the Inquisition at Rome, to put his Face and Body into the usual Postures of those whose inside he needed to know, that by the same frame of Body he might excite in himself the thoughts which the same scituation had raised in his Adversaries; because by so doing, he might better manage their Soul, when he came to know it; and at my desire he began a Book, which we Entituled, De Sensu Rerum.¹³

He then told me that he would tell the Court about my misfortune. As soon as he heard the news about me, he had come to see me. He was satisfied that I was a man from the world I claimed to come from. He had traveled there before and stayed in Greece, where he was called the Demon of Socrates. After that philosopher’s death, he had guided and taught Epaminondas at Thebes. He then went to the Romans, where justice obliged him to take the side of the Younger Cato. After Cato’s death, he devoted himself to Brutus. Those great men left nothing behind in that world but the shadow of their virtues. So he and his companions withdrew to temples and lonely places. “In short,” he added, “the people of your world became so dull and stupid that my companions and I no longer enjoyed teaching them. But you have heard people speak of us. They called us Oracles, Nymphs, Geniuses, Fairies, Houshold-Gods, Lemmes,³ Larves⁴ Lamiers,⁵ Hobgoblins, Nayades, Incubusses, Shades, Manes, Visions and Apparitions. We left your world during the reign of Augustus. Not long before, I had appeared to Drusus, the son of Livia, who was waging war in Germany. I forbade him to go any farther. “It is not long since I returned from your world a second time. Within the last hundred years, I was sent there on a mission. I traveled widely in Europe and spoke with some people you may have known. One day, for example, I appeared to Cardan⁶ while he was studying. I taught him many things. In gratitude, he promised to tell future generations who had taught him the wonders he intended to write down.⁷ There I saw Agrippa,⁸ the Abbot Trithemius,⁹ Doctor Faustus, La Brosse, Cæsar,¹⁰ and a certain group of young men. They are commonly called Rosacrucians¹¹ or Knights of the Red Cross. I taught them many tricks and secrets of nature, which no doubt made them seem like great magicians. “I also knew Campanella.¹² While he was held by the Inquisition at Rome, I gave him some advice. I told him to put his face and body into the usual postures of people whose inner thoughts he needed to know. By adopting the same posture, he could awaken in himself the thoughts it had aroused in his adversaries. Once he knew their thoughts, he could better manage their minds. At my request, he began a book, which we titled De Sensu Rerum.¹³

"I likewise haunted, in France, La Mothe le Vayer¹⁴ and Gassendus;¹⁵ this last hath written as much like a Philosopher, as the other lived: I have known a great many more there, whom your Age call Divines¹⁶ but all that I could find in them was a great deal of Babble and a great deal of Pride. In fine, since I past over from your Country into England, to acquaint my self with the manners of its Inhabitants, I met with a Man, the shame of his Country; for certainly it is a great shame for the Grandees of your States to know the virtue which in him has its Throne, and not to adore him: That I may give you an Abridgement of his Panegyrick, he is all Wit, all Heart, and possesses all the Qualities, of which one alone was heretofore sufficient to make an Heroe: It was Tristan the Hermite.¹⁷ The Truth is, I must tell you, when I perceived so exalted a Virtue I mistrusted it would not be taken notice of, and therefore I endeavoured to make him accept Three Vials, the first filled with the Oyl of Talk,¹⁸ the other with the Powder of Projection,¹⁹ and the third with Aurum Potabile;²⁰ but he refused them with a more generous Disdain than Diogenes did the Complements of Alexander. In fine, I can add nothing to the Elogy²¹ of that Great Man, but that he is the only Poet, the only Philosopher, and the only Freeman amongst you: These are the considerable Persons that I conversed with; all the rest, at least that I know, are so far below Man that I have seen Beasts somewhat above them.

"I also spent time in France with La Mothe le Vayer¹⁴ and Gassendus.¹⁵ Gassendus wrote as much like a philosopher as La Mothe le Vayer lived like one. I knew many others there whom your age calls Divines,¹⁶ but all I found in them was a great deal of babble and pride. Finally, I traveled from your country to England to learn about its people. There I met a man who is a disgrace to his country. For it is surely a great disgrace that your states' grandees know the virtue enthroned in him, yet do not adore him. To sum up his praise, he is all wit and all heart. He possesses every quality that once would have been enough on its own to make a hero. He was Tristan the Hermite.¹⁷ When I saw such lofty virtue, I feared it would go unnoticed. So I tried to persuade him to accept three vials. The first was filled with Oil of Talk,¹⁸ the second with Powder of Projection,¹⁹ and the third with Aurum Potabile.²⁰ But he refused them with a more generous disdain than Diogenes showed toward Alexander's compliments. Finally, I can add only this to my praise²¹ of that great man: he is the only poet, the only philosopher, and the only free man among you. These are the notable people I have met. All the rest, at least those I know, are so far beneath humanity that I have seen beasts somewhat above them."

"After all, I am not a Native neither of this Country nor yours, I was born in the Sun; but because sometimes our World is overstock'd with people, by reason of the long Lives of the Inhabitants, and that there is hardly any Wars or Diseases amongst them: Our Magistrates, from time to time, send Colonies into the neighbouring Worlds. For my own part, I was commanded to go to yours; being declared Chief of the Colony that accompanyed me. I came since into this World, for the Reasons I told you; and that which makes me continue here, is, because the Men are great lovers of Truth; and have no Pedants among them; that the Philosophers are never perswaded but by Reason, and that the Authority of a Doctor, or of a great number, is not preferred before the Opinion of a Thresher in a Barn, when he has right on his side. In short, none are reckoned Madmen in this Country, but Sophisters and Orators." I asked him how they lived? he made answer, three or four thousand Years; and thus went on:

"After all, I am not a native of this country or yours. I was born in the Sun. But our world sometimes becomes overpopulated because its inhabitants live so long, and there are hardly any wars or diseases. So our magistrates send colonies to neighboring worlds from time to time. I was ordered to go to your world and was named leader of the colony that came with me. Later, I came to this world for the reasons I told you. "I stay here because the people are great lovers of truth and have no pedants among them. Their philosophers are persuaded only by reason. They do not value the authority of a scholar or a great many people over a barn worker's opinion when he is right. In short, the only people thought mad in this country are sophists and orators." I asked him how long they lived. He answered that they lived three or four thousand years, and went on:

"Though the Inhabitants of the Sun be not so numerous as those of this World; yet the Sun is many times over stocked, because the People being of a hot constitution are stirring and ambitious, and digest much."

"Although the Sun has fewer inhabitants than this World, it is often overcrowded. This is because its people have hot temperaments, are active and ambitious, and digest a great deal."

"You ought not to be surprised at what I tell you; for though our Globe be very vast, and yours little, though we die not before the end of Four thousand Years, and you at the end of Fifty; yet know, that as there are not so many Stones as clods of Earth, nor so many Animals as Plants, nor so many Men as Beasts; just so there ought not to be so many Spirits as Men, by reason of the difficulties that occur in the Generation of a perfect Creature."

“You should not be surprised by what I tell you. Our globe is very large, and yours is small. We do not die until the end of four thousand years, while you die at the end of fifty. Even so, there are fewer stones than clods of earth, fewer animals than plants, and fewer men than beasts. Just so, there should be fewer spirits than men, because of the difficulties involved in producing a perfect creature.”

I asked him, if they were Bodies as we are? He made answer, That they were Bodies, but not like us, nor any thing else which we judged such; because we call nothing a Body commonly, but what we can touch: That, in short, there was nothing in Nature but what was material; and that though they themselves were so, yet they were forced, when they had a mind to appear to us, to take Bodies proportionated to what our Senses are able to know; and that, without doubt, that was the reason why many have taken the Stories that are told of them for the Delusions of a weak Fancy, because they only appeared in the night time: He told me withal, That seeing they were necessitated to piece together the Bodies they were to make use of, in great haste, many times they had not leisure enough to render them the Objects of more Senses than one at a time, sometimes of the Hearing, as the Voices of Oracles, sometimes of the Sight, as the Fires and Visions, sometimes of the Feeling, as the Incubusses; and that these Bodies being but Air condensed in such or such a manner, the Light dispersed them by its heat, in the same manner as it scatters a Mist.

I asked him whether they had bodies as we do. He answered that they did, but not like ours or anything else we considered a body. For we usually call something a body only if we can touch it. In short, he said, everything in nature was material. Though they themselves were material, they had to take on bodies our senses could perceive when they wished to appear to us. No doubt this was why many people thought stories about them were the delusions of a weak imagination. They appeared only at night. He also told me that they had to assemble the bodies they used in great haste. As a result, they often lacked time to make those bodies perceptible to more than one sense at a time. Sometimes they appealed to hearing, like the voices of Oracles. Sometimes they appealed to sight, like the Fires and Visions. Sometimes they appealed to touch, like the Incubusses. These bodies were only air condensed in one way or another. So light dispersed them with its heat, just as it scatters mist.

So many fine things as he told me, gave me the curiosity to question him about his Birth and Death; if in the Country of the Sun, the individual was procreated by the ways of Generation, and if it died by the dissolution of its Constitution, or the discomposure of its Organs? "Your senses," replied he, "bear but too little proportion to the Explication of these Mysteries: Ye Gentlemen imagine, that whatsoever you cannot comprehend is spiritual, or that it is not at all; but that Consequence²² is absurd, and it is an argument, that there are a Million of things, perhaps, in the Universe, that would require a Million of different Organs in you to understand them. For instance, I by my Senses know the cause of the Sympathy that is betwixt the Load-stone and the Pole, of the ebbing and flowing of the Sea, and what becomes of the Animal after Death; you cannot reach these high Conceptions but by Faith, because they are Secrets above the power of your Intellects; no more than a Blind-man can judge of the beauties of a Land-skip, the Colours of a Picture, or the streaks of a Rainbow; or at best he will fancy them to be somewhat palpable, to be like Eating, a Sound, or a pleasant Smell: Even so, should I attempt to explain to you what I perceive by the Senses which you want, you would represent it to your self as somewhat that may be Heard, Seen, Felt, Smelt or Tasted, and yet it is no such thing."

He told me so many remarkable things that I grew curious about his birth and death. I asked whether, in the Country of the Sun, the individual was born through reproduction. I also asked whether it died when its constitution broke down or its organs fell apart. "Your senses," he replied, "are far too limited for you to understand these mysteries. You gentlemen imagine that whatever you cannot understand is spiritual, or does not exist at all. But that conclusion²² is absurd. It shows that there are perhaps a million things in the Universe that would require you to have a million different sense organs to understand them. "For instance, my senses tell me why the magnet is drawn to the Pole, why the sea rises and falls, and what becomes of an animal after death. You can grasp these lofty ideas only through faith, because they are secrets beyond the power of your intellects. You are no more able to understand them than a blind man can judge the beauty of a landscape, the colors of a picture, or the bands of a rainbow. At best, he will imagine that these things can be touched, or that they are like eating, a sound, or a pleasant smell. In the same way, if I tried to explain what I perceive through the senses you lack, you would imagine it as something that can be heard, seen, felt, smelled, or tasted. Yet it is none of those things."

He was gone on so far in his Discourse, when my Juggler perceived, that the Company began to be weary of my Gibberish, that they understood not, and which they took to be an inarticulated Grunting: He therefore fell to pulling my Rope afresh to make me leap and skip, till the Spectators having had their Belly-fulls of Laughing, affirmed that I had almost as much Wit as the Beasts of their Country, and so broke up.

He had gotten this far in his speech when my juggler noticed that the crowd was growing tired of my gibberish. They could not understand it and thought it was just grunting. So he began pulling my rope again to make me leap and skip. When the spectators had laughed their fill, they declared that I had almost as much wit as the beasts of their country. Then they dispersed.