Record Five

Again with you, my unknown reader; I talk to you as though you were, let us say, my old comrade, R-13, the poet with the lips of a negro,—well, everyone knows him. Yet you are somewhere on the moon, or on Venus, or on Mars. Who knows you? Where and who are you?

Here I am with you again, my unknown reader. I talk to you as if you were, say, my old friend R-13, the poet with a Black man’s lips. Well, everyone knows him. Yet you are somewhere on the moon, or on Venus, or on Mars. Who knows you? Where are you, and who are you?

Imagine a square, a living, beautiful square. Imagine that this square is obliged to tell you about itself, about its life. You realize that this square would hardly think it necessary to mention the fact that all its four angles are equal. It knows this too well. This is such an ordinary, obvious thing. I am in exactly the same square position. Take the pink checks for instance, and all that goes with them: for me they are as natural as the equality of the four angles of the square. But for you they are perhaps more mysterious and hard to understand than the binom of Newton. Let me explain: an ancient sage once said a clever thing (accidentally, beyond doubt). He said, “Love and Hunger rule the world.” Consequently, to dominate the world, man had to win a victory over hunger after paying a very high price. I refer to the great Two Hundred Years’ War, the war between the city and the land. Probably on account of religious prejudices, the primitive peasants stubbornly held on to their “bread.”¹ In the 35th year before the foundation of the United State, our contemporary petroleum food was invented. True, only about two-tenths of the population of the globe did not die out. But how beautifully shining the face of the earth became when it was cleared of its impurities!

Imagine a square, a living, beautiful square. Now imagine that it has to tell you about itself and its life. You can see that the square would hardly think it necessary to mention that all four of its angles are equal. It knows this too well. The equality of its angles is so ordinary and obvious. I am in exactly the same square position. Take the pink checks, for example, and everything that goes with them. To me, they are as natural as the equality of a square’s four angles. But to you, they may be more mysterious and harder to understand than Newton’s binomial theorem. Let me explain. An ancient sage once said something clever. It was an accident, no doubt. He said, “Love and Hunger rule the world.” So, to dominate the world, humanity first had to defeat hunger at a very high price. I mean the great Two Hundred Years’ War, the war between the city and the land. Probably because of religious prejudices, the primitive peasants stubbornly held on to their “bread.”¹ In the 35th year before the United State was founded, our modern petroleum food was invented. True, only about two-tenths of the world’s population survived. But how beautifully the face of the earth shone once it was cleared of its impurities!

Accordingly the 0.2 which survived, have enjoyed the greatest happiness in the bosom of the United State. But is it not clear that supreme bliss and envy are only the numerator and the denominator respectively, of the same fraction, happiness? What sense would the innumerable sacrifices of the Two Hundred Years’ War have for us if a reason were left in our life for jealousy? Yet such a reason persisted because there remained button-like noses and classical noses (Cf: our conversation during the promenade). For there were some whose love was sought by everyone and others whose love was sought by no one.

So the 0.2 who survived have enjoyed the greatest happiness within the United State. But isn’t it clear that supreme bliss and envy are respectively the numerator and denominator of the same fraction, happiness? What would the countless sacrifices of the Two Hundred Years’ War mean to us if there were still a reason for jealousy in our lives? Yet a reason remained, because there were still button-like noses and classical noses (Cf: our conversation during the promenade). Some people were loved by everyone, while others were loved by no one.

Naturally, having conquered hunger (that is, algebraically speaking, having achieved the total of bodily welfare), the United State directed its attack against the second ruler of the world, against love. At last this element also was conquered, that is, organized and put into a mathematical formula. It is already three hundred years since our great historic Lex Sexualis was promulgated: “A Number may obtain a license to use any other Number as a sexual product.”

Naturally, after conquering hunger, the United State turned its attack on the world’s second ruler: love. Algebraically speaking, conquering hunger meant achieving total bodily welfare. At last, love too was conquered. It was organized and put into a mathematical formula. Our great historic Lex Sexualis was proclaimed three hundred years ago: “A Number may obtain a license to use any other Number as a sexual product.”

The rest is only a matter of technique. You are carefully examined in the laboratory of the Sexual Department where they find the content of the sexual hormones in your blood, and they make out for you accordingly a Table of sexual days. Then you file an application to enjoy the services of Number so and so, or Numbers so and so. You get for that purpose a check-book (pink). That is all.

The rest is just a matter of technique. You are carefully examined in the Sexual Department laboratory. There, they measure the level of sex hormones in your blood and prepare your Table of sexual days accordingly. Then you apply to enjoy the services of a particular Number or Numbers. For this purpose, you get a pink checkbook. That is all.

It is clear that under such circumstances there is no more reason for envy or jealousy. The denominator of the fraction of happiness is reduced to zero and the whole fraction is thus converted into a magnificent infiniteness. The thing which was for the ancients the source of innumerable stupid tragedies has been converted in our time into an harmonious, agreeable and useful function of the organism, a function like sleep, like physical labor, the taking of food, digestion, etc., etc. Hence you see how the great power of logic purifies everything it happens to touch. Oh, if only you unknown readers can conceive this divine power! If you will only learn to follow it to the end!

Clearly, under these circumstances, there is no longer any reason for envy or jealousy. The denominator of the fraction of happiness is reduced to zero, turning the whole fraction into a magnificent infinity. What caused countless stupid tragedies for the ancients has become a harmonious, pleasant, and useful bodily function in our time. It is a function like sleep, physical labor, eating, digestion, and so on. So you see how the great power of logic purifies everything it touches. Oh, if only you, my unknown readers, could grasp this divine power! If only you would learn to follow it to the end!

It is very strange: while I was writing today of the loftiest summit of human history, all the while I breathed the purest mountain air of thought, but within me it was and remains cloudy, cobwebby, and there is a kind of cross-like, four-pawed X. Or perhaps it is my paws and I feel like that only because they are always before my eyes, my hairy paws. I don’t like to talk about them. I dislike them. They are a trace of a primitive epoch. Is it possible that there is in me...?

It is very strange. Today, as I wrote about the highest point in human history, I breathed the purest mountain air of thought. But inside me it was and still is cloudy and full of cobwebs, and there is a kind of cross, a four-pawed X. Or perhaps it is my paws. Perhaps I feel this way only because my hairy paws are always before my eyes. I don’t like to talk about them. I dislike them. They are a trace of a primitive age. Could there be in me...?

I wanted to strike out all this because it trespasses on the limits of my synopsis. But then I decided: no, I shall not! Let this diary give the curve of the most imperceptible vibrations of my brain, like a precise seismograph, for at times such vibrations serve as forewarnings.... Certainly this is absurd! This certainly should be stricken out; we have conquered all the elements; catastrophes are not possible any more.

I wanted to cross all this out because it goes beyond the limits of my synopsis. But then I decided: no, I won’t! Let this diary trace the slightest vibrations of my brain, like a precise seismograph. For sometimes such vibrations serve as warnings.... Surely this is absurd! I should definitely cross this out. We have conquered all the elements. Catastrophes are no longer possible.

Now everything is clear to me. The peculiar feeling inside is a result of that very same square situation of which I spoke in the beginning. There is no X in me. There can be none. I am simply afraid lest some X will be left in you, my unknown readers. I believe you will understand that it is harder for me to write than it ever was for any author throughout human history. Some of them wrote for contemporaries, some for the future generations but none of them ever wrote for their ancestors, or beings like their primitive, distant ancestors.

Now everything is clear to me. The strange feeling inside me comes from the same square situation I mentioned at the beginning. There is no X in me. There cannot be one. I am simply afraid that some X will remain in you, my unknown readers. I believe you will understand that writing is harder for me than it has ever been for any author in human history. Some wrote for their contemporaries, and some wrote for future generations. But none ever wrote for their ancestors, or for beings like their primitive, distant ancestors.