The Psychology of Emotion

One is apt to think of the emotions as independent from habit. We easily may think of one acquiring habits of action, and even of thinking, but we are apt to regard the emotions as something connected with “feeling” and quite divorced from intellectual effort. Yet, notwithstanding the distinction between the two, both are dependent largely upon habit, and one may repress, increase, develop, and change one’s emotions, just as one may regulate habits of action and lines of thought.

We tend to think that emotions are separate from habit. We can easily see how someone develops habits of action and even thought. But we tend to see emotions as connected with “feeling” and completely separate from intellectual effort. Yet despite this distinction, both emotions and thinking depend largely on habit. We can repress, increase, develop, and change our emotions, just as we can regulate our habits of action and patterns of thought.

It is an axiom of psychology that “Emotions deepen by repetition.” If a person allows a state of feeling to thoroughly take possession of him, he will find it easier to yield to the same emotion the second time, and so on, until the particular emotion or feeling becomes second nature to him. If an undesirable emotion shows itself inclined to take up a permanent abode with you, you had

A basic principle of psychology is that “Emotions deepen by repetition.” If you allow a feeling to take complete control of you, you will find it easier to give in to the same emotion a second time. This continues until the emotion or feeling becomes second nature to you. If an undesirable emotion seems inclined to make a permanent home with you, you had

better start to work to get rid of it, or at least to master it. And the best time to do this is at the start; for each repetition renders the habit more firmly intrenched, and the task of dislodging it more difficult.

better start working to get rid of it, or at least to master it. The best time to do this is at the start. Each repetition makes the habit harder to break.

Were you ever jealous? If so, you will remember how insidious was its first approach, how subtly it whispered hateful suggestions into your willing ear, and how gradually it followed up such suggestions, until, finally you began to see green. (Jealousy has an effect upon the bile, and causes it to poison the blood. This is why the idea of green is always associated with it,) Then you will remember how the thing seemed to grow, taking possession of you until you scarcely could shake it off. You found it much easier to become jealous the next time. It seemed to bring before you all sorts of objects apparently justifying your suspicions and feeling. Everything began to look green—the green-eyed monster waxed fat.

Have you ever been jealous? If so, you will remember how quietly jealousy first crept in. It subtly whispered hateful suggestions into your willing ear. Then it gradually built on those suggestions, until finally you began to see green. (Jealousy affects the bile and causes it to poison the blood. This is why green is always associated with jealousy.) You will also remember how jealousy seemed to grow and take possession of you, until you could hardly shake it off. You found it much easier to become jealous the next time. Jealousy seemed to bring all sorts of things to your attention that apparently justified your suspicions and feelings. Everything began to look green. The green-eyed monster grew fat.

And so it is with every feeling or emotion. If you give way to a fit of rage, you will find it easier to become angry the next time, on less provocation. The habit of feeling and acting “mean” does not take long to firmly settle itself in its new home if encouraged. Worry is a great habit for growing and waxing fat. People start by worrying about big things, and then begin to worry and fret about some smaller thing. And then the merest trifle worries and distresses them. They imagine that all sorts of evil things are about to befall them. If they start on a journey they are certain, there is going to be a wreck. If a telegram comes, it is sure to contain some dreadful tidings. If a child seems a little quiet, the worrying mother is positive it is going to fall ill and die. If the husband seems thoughtful, as he revolves some business plan in his mind, then the good wife is convinced that he is beginning to cease to love her, and indulges in a crying spell. And so it goes—worry, worry, worry—each indulgence making the habit more at home. After a while the continued thought shows itself in action. Not only is the mind poisoned by the blue thoughts, but the forehead shows deep lines between the eyebrows, and the voice takes on that whining, rasping tone so common among worry-burdened people.

The same is true of every feeling or emotion. If you give in to a fit of rage, you will find it easier to get angry next time, with less provocation. If encouraged, the habit of feeling and acting “mean” quickly settles into its new home. Worry is a habit that grows and grows. People start by worrying about big things, then begin to fret over smaller things. Soon, the smallest trifle worries and distresses them. They imagine that all sorts of terrible things are about to happen to them. If they set out on a journey, they are certain there will be a wreck. If a telegram arrives, it is sure to contain terrible news. If a child seems a little quiet, the worrying mother is certain the child will get sick and die. If a husband seems thoughtful while considering a business plan, his good wife is convinced that he is starting to love her less. She then has a crying spell. And so it goes: worry, worry, worry. Each time they give in, the habit becomes more firmly established. Eventually, this constant thinking shows itself in action. Not only is the mind poisoned by gloomy thoughts, but deep lines appear between the eyebrows. The voice also takes on the whining, grating tone so common among people burdened by worry.

The condition of mind known as “fault-finding” is another emotion that grows fat with exercise. First, fault is found with this thing, then with that, and finally with everything. The person becomes a chronic “nagger”—a burden to friends and relatives, and a thing to be avoided by outsiders. Women make the greatest naggers. Not because men are any better, but simply because a man nagger is apt to have the habit knocked out of him by other men who will not stand his nonsense—he finds that he is making things too hot for himself, and he reforms; while a woman has more of a chance to indulge in the habit. But this nagging is all a matter of habit. It grows from small beginnings, and each time it is indulged in it throws out another root, branch, or tendril, and fastens itself the closer to the one who has given it soil in which to grow.

The state of mind known as “fault-finding” is another emotion that grows stronger with use. First, a person finds fault with one thing, then another, and finally everything. The person becomes a chronic “nagger,” a burden to friends and relatives and someone outsiders avoid. Women are the worst naggers. That is not because men are any better. A man who nags is likely to have the habit knocked out of him by other men. They will not put up with his nonsense. He finds that he is making things too difficult for himself, and he changes. A woman, however, has more opportunity to indulge the habit. But nagging is entirely a matter of habit. It starts small. Each time a person gives in to it, it sends out another root, branch, or tendril. It clings ever more tightly to the person who has given it soil to grow in.

Envy, uncharitableness, gossip, scandal-mongering, are all habits of this kind. The seeds are in every human breast, and only need good soil and a little watering to become lusty and strong.

Envy, cruelty, gossip, and spreading scandal are all habits of this kind. The seeds of these habits are in every human heart. They need only good soil and a little watering to grow vigorous and strong.

Each time you give way to one of these negative emotions, the easier do you make it for a recurrence of the same thing, or similar ones. Sometimes by encouraging one unworthy emotion, you find that you have given room for the growth of a whole family of these mental weeds.

Each time you give in to a negative emotion, you make it easier for that emotion or similar ones to return. Sometimes, by encouraging one unworthy emotion, you make room for a whole family of these mental weeds to grow.

Now, this is not a good old orthodox preachment against the sin of bad thoughts. It is merely a calling of your attention to the law underlying the psychology of emotions. Nothing new about it—old as the hills—so old that many of us have forgotten all about it.

Now, this is not a good old-fashioned sermon about the sin of bad thoughts. I’m simply drawing your attention to the law underlying the psychology of emotions. There’s nothing new about it. It’s as old as the hills, so old that many of us have forgotten all about it.

If you wish to manifest these constantly disagreeable and unpleasant traits, and to suffer the unhappiness that comes from them, by all means do so—that is your own business, and privilege. It’s none of mine, and I am not preaching at you—it keeps me busy minding my own business and keeping an eye on my own undesirable habits and actions. I am merely telling you the law regarding the matter, and you may do the rest. If you wish to choke out these habits, there are two ways open to you. First, whenever you find yourself indulging in a negative thought or feeling, take right hold of it and say to it firmly, and vigorously, “Get out!” It won’t like this at first, and will bridle up, curve its back and snarl like an offended cat. But never mind—just say “Scat” to it. The next time it will not be so confident and aggressive—it will have manifested a little of the fear-habit. Each time you repress and choke out a tendency of this kind, the weaker it will become, and the stronger will your will be.

If you want to show these constantly disagreeable and unpleasant traits, go ahead. If you want to suffer the unhappiness they bring, that is your business and your right. It is none of my business, and I am not preaching at you. I have enough to do minding my own business and watching my own undesirable habits and actions. I am simply telling you the law on the matter. You can do the rest. If you want to stamp out these habits, you have two ways to do it. First, whenever you catch yourself indulging in a negative thought or feeling, take hold of it. Say firmly and forcefully, “Get out!” At first, it will not like this. It will bristle, arch its back, and snarl like an offended cat. But never mind. Just say “Scat” to it. Next time, it will not be so confident and aggressive. It will have shown a little of the fear-habit. Each time you suppress and stamp out a tendency like this, it will grow weaker and your will stronger.

Professor James says: “Refuse to express a passion, and it dies. Count ten before venting your anger, and its occasion seems ridiculous. Whistling to keep up courage is no mere figure of speech. On the other hand, sit all day in a moping posture, sigh, and reply to everything with a dismal voice, and your melancholy lingers. There is no more valuable precept in moral education than this, as all who have experience know: if we wish to conquer emotional tendencies in ourselves, we must assiduously, and in the first instance, cold-bloodedly, go through the outward movements of those contrary dispositions which we prefer to cultivate. * * * Smooth the brow, brighten the eye, contract the dorsal rather than the ventral aspect of the frame, and speak in a major key, pass the genial compliment, and your heart must be frigid indeed if it does not gradually thaw.”

Professor James says: “Refuse to express a passion, and it dies. Count to ten before showing your anger, and the cause of your anger seems ridiculous. Whistling to keep up your courage is not just a figure of speech. On the other hand, sit slumped all day, sigh, and answer everything in a gloomy voice, and your sadness lingers. Everyone with experience knows that no rule in moral education is more valuable than this: If we wish to overcome emotional tendencies in ourselves, we must practice the outward actions of the opposite feelings. We must practice the feelings we would rather cultivate, even if we feel nothing at first. * * * Smooth your brow, brighten your eyes, stand straight rather than hunching over, and speak in a cheerful tone. Give someone a warm compliment. Your heart must be very cold indeed if it does not gradually thaw.”