A Cloud Wreath

As winter drew on, the Lady of Akashi in her house by the Ōi river became very dispirited. Formerly the prospect of a visit from Genji was sufficient to rouse her from her melancholy; but now he found her always in the same dejected posture morning, noon and night: ‘How much longer is this to go on?’ he cried impatiently. ‘Do, I beg of you, make up your mind to come to my palace and use the quarters I have reserved for you.’ But he could never persuade her that she would not be thus exposing herself to a hundred indignities and affronts. It was of course impossible to be quite sure how things would go, and if, after all his assurances, the move did not turn out well, her vague resentment against him would henceforth be transformed into a definite and justified grievance. ‘Do you not feel,’ he said, ‘that it would be unfair to your child to keep it here with you much longer? Indeed, knowing as you do what plans³⁵⁰ I have made for its future, you must surely see that you are behaving towards it with a lack of proper respect.... I have constantly discussed this matter with my wife and she has always shown great interest in the child’s future. If it is put for a while under her care, she will no doubt be willing to stand sponsor to it; so that it will be possible to carry out the Initiation ceremony and other rituals of induction³⁵¹ with full publicity.’ So far from being convinced by his arguments, she saw herself now being inveigled into doing precisely what she had always suspected with horror that he would one day ask of her. ‘Take the child away from me if you like,’ she said at last, ‘and give her to these grand people to bring up as though she were their own. But just when you think you have repaired the accident of her birth, some one will let out the secret, and where will you be then?’ ‘Yes, we must be careful about that,’ answered Genji. ‘But you need have no fear that the child will not be properly looked after. As you know, though we have been married for many years, Lady Murasaki has no children of her own, and this very much distresses her. She badly needs companionship, and when at one time there was some question of her adopting Lady Akikonomu, the former Vestal Virgin, she was obviously delighted at the prospect, though this lady was already a grown-up person. But when it comes to a child,—at an age, too, when such creatures have an irresistible charm—it is quite certain that she will welcome it with alacrity and henceforward devote all her time to its care. Of that there is no doubt at all ...’ and he proceeded to a general eulogy upon Murasaki’s docility and charm. But while he was speaking the Lady of Akashi recalled the stories of Genji’s adventurous past, and of numerous other attachments with which rumour credited him. It seemed on the one hand very unlikely that Lady Murasaki would not ultimately suffer the fate of her predecessors, and why should her child be entrusted to a favourite who might soon be forgotten or thrust aside? If on the other hand Murasaki were indeed endowed with such pre-eminent qualities that she alone of all her rivals and predecessors was destined to enjoy permanent favour, then as long as mother and child remained in their present obscurity there was little danger that this magnificent lady would regard them as worth a moment’s thought. But as soon as one or both should make an appearance in the Nijō palace, Murasaki’s pride would be affronted and her jealousy aroused.... Her mother, however, was a woman who looked beyond the difficulties of the moment, and she now said with some severity: ‘You are behaving very foolishly. It is natural enough that you should dislike parting with the child; but you must make up your mind to do what will be best for it. I feel certain that His Highness is perfectly serious in his intentions concerning its future, and I advise you to entrust it to him at once. You need have no misgivings. After all, even Royal Princes are of very varying stock on the mother’s side. I seem to remember that Prince Genji himself, who is reckoned the greatest gentleman in the land, could not be put forward as a successor to the Throne because his mother was so far inferior to the other ladies of the Court; and indeed, judged from that point of view, he is a mere waiting-woman’s son. If such disadvantages are not fatal even in the most exalted spheres, we lesser folk certainly need not trouble ourselves about them....’ The Lady of Akashi took the advice of several other persons who had a reputation for sagacity in such matters, and also consulted various soothsayers and astrologers. In every case the answer was the same: the child must go to the Capital. In face of such unanimity she began to waver. Genji, for his part, was still as anxious as ever that his plan should be carried out. But the subject was evidently so painful to her that he no longer attempted to broach it, and in the course of his next letter merely asked what were her wishes concerning the Initiation ceremony. She answered: ‘I see now that, being what I am, I cannot keep the child with me without injuring its prospects. I am ready to part with it; but I still fear that amid such surroundings....’ He was very sorry for her; but all the same he ordered his clerks to search the calendar for a suitable day, and began secretly to make preparations for the child’s arrival.

As winter approached, the Lady of Akashi grew very depressed in her house by the Ōi river. Before, the prospect of a visit from Genji had been enough to lift her spirits. But now he always found her sitting dejectedly, morning, noon and night. ‘How much longer is this going to go on?’ he cried impatiently. ‘Please make up your mind to come to my palace and use the rooms I have reserved for you.’ But he could never persuade her that she would not suffer countless humiliations and insults there. Of course, no one could be sure how things would turn out. If the move went badly despite all his assurances, her vague resentment would become a definite and justified grievance against him. ‘Don’t you think it would be unfair to your child to keep her here much longer?’ he said. ‘You know what plans³⁵⁰ I have made for her future. Surely you must see that you are not treating her with proper respect.... I have often discussed this with my wife, and she has always shown great interest in the child’s future. If the child is placed in her care for a while, she will surely be willing to act as her sponsor. Then we can hold the Initiation ceremony and other rites of induction³⁵¹ in full public view.’ Far from being convinced, the Lady of Akashi saw that he was now trying to draw her into doing exactly what she had always feared he would one day ask. ‘Take the child away from me if you like,’ she said at last, ‘and give her to these grand people to raise as their own. But just when you think you have made up for the accident of her birth, someone will reveal the secret. What will you do then?’ ‘Yes, we must be careful about that,’ Genji replied. ‘But you need not fear that the child will be neglected. As you know, Lady Murasaki has no children of her own, though we have been married for many years. This distresses her greatly. She badly needs companionship. Once there was some discussion of her adopting Lady Akikonomu, the former Vestal Virgin. She was plainly delighted at the prospect, though Lady Akikonomu was already grown up. But this is a child, and at an age when children are irresistibly charming. She will certainly welcome her eagerly and devote all her time to caring for her from then on. There is no doubt at all ...’ He went on to praise Murasaki’s gentle nature and charm. But as he spoke, the Lady of Akashi remembered the stories of Genji’s adventurous past. She also remembered the many other attachments he was rumored to have had. It seemed very unlikely that Lady Murasaki would not eventually meet the same fate as her predecessors. Why entrust her child to a favorite who might soon be forgotten or cast aside? On the other hand, perhaps Murasaki’s qualities were so exceptional that she alone would enjoy Genji’s lasting favor. If so, there was little danger that this magnificent lady would give mother and child a moment’s thought, as long as they remained in their present obscurity. But as soon as either or both appeared at the Nijō palace, Murasaki’s pride would be hurt and her jealousy aroused.... Her mother, however, was a woman who looked beyond the difficulties of the moment. She now spoke somewhat sternly. ‘You are behaving very foolishly. It is natural enough that you should hate parting with the child. But you must make up your mind to do what is best for her. I am certain that His Highness is completely serious about his plans for her future. I advise you to entrust her to him at once. You need have no doubts. After all, even Royal Princes come from families of very different standing on their mothers’ side. As I recall, Prince Genji himself is regarded as the greatest gentleman in the land. Yet he could not be put forward as an heir to the Throne because his mother ranked so far below the other ladies of the Court. Indeed, from that point of view, he is merely a waiting-woman’s son. If such disadvantages are not fatal even in the highest circles, we lesser people certainly need not worry about them....’ The Lady of Akashi sought advice from several others known for their wisdom in such matters. She also consulted various soothsayers and astrologers. Every answer was the same: the child must go to the Capital. Faced with such agreement, she began to waver. Genji, for his part, was as eager as ever to carry out his plan. But the subject was clearly so painful to her that he no longer tried to raise it. In his next letter, he merely asked what she wished to do about the Initiation ceremony. She replied: ‘I see now that, being what I am, I cannot keep the child with me without harming her prospects. I am ready to part with her. But I still fear that amid such surroundings....’ He felt very sorry for her. Even so, he ordered his clerks to search the calendar for a suitable day and secretly began preparing for the child’s arrival.

To hand over her own child to another woman’s keeping was indeed a bitter trial; but she kept on repeating to herself that, for its own sake, this sacrifice must sooner or later be made. The nurse whom Genji had originally sent to Akashi would of course go to take charge of it at the palace, and the prospect of losing this lady, to whom she had long confided all her sorrows, finding in her society the one solace of her monotonous and unhappy existence, added greatly to her present distress. ‘Madam,’ the nurse would say to her, ‘I shall never forget your kindness to me ever since the day when, so unexpectedly, yet as I think not without the intervention of some kind fate, it fell to my lot to serve you. You may be sure that I shall all the while be longing to have you with me. But I shall never regard our separation as more than an expedient of the moment. In the end I am convinced that all will come right. Meanwhile, do not think that I look forward with any pleasant anticipations to a life that will take me so far from your side.’ She wept; and thus day after day was spent in sad forebodings and preparations till the twelfth month was already come.

Giving her own child into another woman’s care was a bitter ordeal. But she kept telling herself that, for the child’s sake, she must make this sacrifice sooner or later. The nurse Genji had originally sent to Akashi would, of course, go to the palace to care for the child. Losing her made the mother’s distress even greater. She had long shared all her sorrows with the nurse. The nurse’s company was her only comfort in her dull and unhappy life. ‘Madam,’ the nurse would say, ‘I shall never forget how kind you have been to me since I came to serve you. It happened so unexpectedly, though I believe some kind fate had a hand in it. You may be sure that I shall long to have you with me all the while. But I shall never see our separation as anything more than a temporary measure. I am sure that in the end everything will turn out right. Meanwhile, please do not think I look forward to a life so far from your side.’ She wept. And so, day after day passed in anxious expectation and preparation, until the twelfth month had already come.

Storms of snow and hail now made the situation at Ōi more than ever depressing and uncomfortable. It appalled the Lady of Akashi to discover what manifold varieties of suffering one can be called upon to endure at one and the same time. She now spent every moment of the day in tending and caressing her little girl. One morning when the fast-falling snow was piling up high on every side she sat with the child in her arms, again and again going back in her mind over all the miseries of the past, and picturing to herself the yet more desolate days that were to come. It was long since she had gone into the front of the house. But this morning there was ice on the moat, and she went to the window to look. She was clad in many wraps of some soft, white, fluttering stuff, and as she stood gazing before her with hands clasped behind her head, those within the room thought that, prince’s daughter though her rival was, she could scarce be more lovely in poise and gesture than their lady in her snowy dress. Raising her sleeve to catch the tears that had now begun to fall the Lady of Akashi turned to the nurse and said: ‘If it were upon a day such as this,³⁵² I do not think that I could bear it....’ And she recited the poem: ‘If country roads be deep in snow, and clouds return, tread thou the written path, and though thyself thou comest not, vouchsafe a sign.’³⁵³ To comfort her the nurse answered through her tears: ‘Though the snow-drifts of Yoshino were heaped across his path, doubt not that whither his heart is set, his footsteps shall tread out their way.’ The snow was now falling a little less fast. Suddenly Genji appeared at the door. The moments during which she waited to receive him put her always into a state of painful agitation. To-day guessing as she did the purpose of his visit, his arrival threw her immediately into an agonizing conflict. Why had she consented? There was still time. If she refused to part with the child, would he snatch it from her? No, indeed; that was unthinkable. But stay! She had consented; and should she now change her mind, she would lose his confidence forever. At one moment she was ready to obey; a moment afterwards, she had decided to resist by every means in her power.

Snow and hailstorms made life at Ōi more depressing and uncomfortable than ever. The Lady of Akashi was appalled to discover how many kinds of suffering one person could endure at once. She now spent every moment of the day caring for and caressing her little girl. One morning, snow was falling fast and piling up high on every side. She sat with the child in her arms, thinking again and again of all her past misery. She imagined the even more desolate days to come. She had not gone to the front of the house for a long time. But that morning, there was ice on the moat, and she went to the window to look. She wore many wraps of soft, white, fluttering fabric. She stood gazing out, her hands clasped behind her head. The people in the room thought that even her rival, a prince’s daughter, could hardly be lovelier in her posture and movements than their lady in her snowy dress. The Lady of Akashi raised her sleeve to catch the tears that had begun to fall. She turned to the nurse and said: ‘If it happened on a day like this,³⁵² I don’t think I could bear it....’ And she recited the poem: ‘If country roads lie deep in snow, and clouds return, follow the written path. Even if you cannot come yourself, please send a sign.’³⁵³ To comfort her, the nurse answered through her tears: ‘Even if the snowdrifts of Yoshino were piled across his path, do not doubt him. Wherever his heart is set, his feet will find a way.’ The snow was falling a little less heavily now. Suddenly Genji appeared at the door. Waiting to receive him always filled her with painful anxiety. Today, she guessed the purpose of his visit. His arrival immediately plunged her into an agonizing conflict. Why had she agreed? There was still time. If she refused to part with the child, would he snatch her away? No, that was unthinkable. But wait! She had agreed. If she changed her mind now, she would lose his trust forever. One moment she was ready to obey. The next, she had decided to resist with all her strength.

She sat by the window, holding the little girl in her arms. He thought the child very beautiful, and felt at once that her birth was one of the most important things that had happened in his life. Since last spring her hair had been allowed to grow³⁵⁴ and it was now an inch or two long, falling in delicate waves about her ears like that of a little novice at a convent. Her skin too was of exquisite whiteness and purity, and she had the most delightful eyes. To part with such a creature, to send her away into strange hands,—he understood well enough what this must mean, and suddenly it seemed to him that it was impossible even to suggest such a sacrifice. The whole matter was re-opened, and a discussion followed which lasted the better part of the day. ‘Whether it is worth while depends on you,’ she said at last. ‘It is in your power to make amends to the child for the disadvantages of its birth. And if I thought that you meant to do so ...’ she was worn out by the long discussion, and now burst into tears. It was terrible to witness such distress. But the child, heedless of what was going on about it, was lustily demanding ‘a ride in the nice carriage.’ The mother picked it up and carried it in her own arms to the end of the drive. When she had set it down, it caught at her sleeve and in the prettiest, baby voice imaginable begged her to ‘come for a ride too.’ There framed themselves in the lady’s heart the lines: ‘Were all my prayers in vain, or shall I live to see the two-leaved pine from which to-day I part spread mighty shadows on the earth?’; but she could scarce speak the words, and seeing her now weeping wildly Genji strove to comfort her with the verse: ‘Like the little pine-tree that at Takekuma from the big one grows, grafted to my deep roots long shall this stripling thrive secure.’ ‘Wait patiently,’ he added. She strove hard to persuade herself that he was right, that all was for the best. But now the carriages were moving away....

She sat by the window, holding the little girl in her arms. He thought the child was very beautiful. He felt at once that her birth was one of the most important events of his life. Since last spring, her hair had been allowed to grow³⁵⁴. It was now an inch or two long, falling in delicate waves around her ears like a young convent novice’s hair. Her skin was exquisitely white and pure, and she had the most delightful eyes. He understood well enough what it would mean to part with such a child and send her into strangers’ care. Suddenly, he felt it was impossible even to suggest such a sacrifice. They took up the matter again, and their discussion lasted most of the day. ‘Whether it is worthwhile depends on you,’ she said at last. ‘You have the power to make up to the child for the disadvantages of her birth. And if I thought you meant to do so ...’ Worn out by the long discussion, she burst into tears. It was terrible to see her so distressed. But the child, unaware of what was happening around her, was loudly demanding ‘a ride in the nice carriage.’ Her mother picked her up and carried her to the end of the drive. When she put her down, the child caught her sleeve. In the sweetest baby voice imaginable, she begged her mother to ‘come for a ride too.’ These lines formed in the lady’s heart: ‘Were all my prayers in vain, or will I live to see the two-leaved pine I leave today spread great shadows over the earth?’ But she could hardly speak the words. Seeing her now weeping wildly, Genji tried to comfort her with a verse: ‘Like the little pine tree at Takekuma that grows from the big one, this young tree, grafted to my deep roots, will thrive safely for a long time.’ ‘Wait patiently,’ he added. She tried hard to persuade herself that he was right, that everything was for the best. But now the carriages were moving away....

With the child rode the nurse and also a gentlewoman of good family called Shōshō, holding on their knees the Sword, the Heavenly Children³⁵⁵ and other emblems of royalty. In the next carriage followed a band of youths and little girls whom he had brought to form the child’s escort on the homeward way. All the time they were driving to the Capital Genji was haunted by the image of the sorrow-stricken figure that had watched their departure. Small blame to her if at the moment she was feeling bitterly towards him!

The nurse and a gentlewoman from a good family named Shōshō rode with the child. They held the Sword, the Heavenly Children³⁵⁵, and other royal emblems on their knees. In the next carriage came a group of youths and little girls. Genji had brought them to escort the child on the journey home. All the way to the Capital, Genji was haunted by the image of the sorrowful figure who had watched them leave. No wonder she felt bitter toward him at that moment!

It was quite dark when they arrived. So soon as the carriages had been drawn in, Shōshō and the nurse began looking about them at the splendours amid which they were now destined to reside. They felt indeed (coming as they did from rural and quite unpretentious surroundings) somewhat awestruck and ill at ease. But when they were shown the apartments which had been set aside for the new arrival, with a tiny bed, screens-of-state, and everything which a little lady could require, all beautifully set out and arranged, they began to take heart. The nurse’s own room was in the corridor leading to the western wing, on the north side of the passage.

It was quite dark when they arrived. As soon as the carriages had been brought inside, Shōshō and the nurse looked around at their splendid new home. They came from a simple, unpretentious place in the country, and felt somewhat awed and uneasy. But then they were shown the rooms set aside for the new arrival. A tiny bed, ceremonial screens, and everything a little lady could need had been beautifully arranged there. They began to feel more at ease. The nurse’s own room was on the north side of the corridor leading to the western wing.

The child had fallen asleep during the journey and while she was carried into the house had not cried or seemed at all put out. She was taken straight to Murasaki’s room and there given her supper. After a while she began to look round her.

The child had fallen asleep during the journey. She did not cry or seem upset as she was carried into the house. She was taken straight to Murasaki’s room and given her supper there. After a while, she began to look around.

She evidently wondered why her mother was nowhere to be seen, and after a further search her little lips began to tremble. The nurse was sent for and soon succeeded in distracting her attention. If only, thought Genji, who had witnessed this scene—if only the mother in that slow country home could be as easily comforted! But now there was no way to make amends to her, save to see to it that never in one jot should the child’s care and upbringing fall short of what its mother might in her wildest dream have craved for it. For the moment indeed he accounted it a blessing that Murasaki had not borne him a child of her own, and was thus free to devote herself to the reparation of the wrong which he had inflicted upon this little newcomer by the circumstances of its birth. For some days the child continued occasionally to ask for its mother or some other person whom it had been used to see daily at Ōi, and when they could not be produced it would have a fit of screaming or of tears. But it was by nature a contented, happy little thing, and soon struck up a friendship with its new mother, who for her part was delighted to take charge of a creature so graceful and confiding. She insisted on carrying it about in her own arms, attended herself to all its wants and joined in all its games. Gradually the nurse became a personal attendant upon Lady Murasaki rather than the under-servant she had been before. Meanwhile a lady of irreproachable birth happened to become available as a wet-nurse and was accordingly added to the establishment. The ceremony of her Initiation did not involve any very elaborate preparations, but the child’s little companions were naturally aware that something was afoot. Her outfit, so tiny that it looked as though it came out of a doll’s-house, was a charming sight. So many people came in and out of the house all day even at ordinary times that they hardly noticed the guests who had assembled in their little mistress’s honour. It was only when she raised her arms for the Binding of the Sleeves that the unwonted gesture caught their attention; they had never seen her in so pretty a pose before.

She seemed to wonder why her mother was nowhere to be seen. After looking for her some more, her little lips began to tremble. They sent for the nurse, who soon managed to distract her. Genji had watched the scene. If only, he thought, the mother in her quiet country home could be comforted as easily! But now he could make amends to her in only one way. He must ensure that the child’s care and upbringing never fell short, even in the smallest detail, of her mother’s wildest hopes. For the moment, he felt fortunate that Murasaki had not had a child of her own. She was therefore free to help make up for the wrong he had done this little newcomer through the circumstances of her birth. For some days, the child still occasionally asked for her mother or someone else she had seen daily at Ōi. When they could not bring that person to her, she would scream or burst into tears. But she was naturally contented and happy, and she soon made friends with her new mother. Murasaki, for her part, was delighted to care for such a graceful and trusting child. She insisted on carrying her in her own arms, seeing to all her needs, and joining in all her games. Gradually, the nurse became Lady Murasaki’s personal attendant rather than the lower servant she had been before. Meanwhile, a lady of impeccable birth happened to become available as a wet-nurse, and she joined the household. The child’s Initiation ceremony required no elaborate preparations, but her little companions naturally knew that something was happening. Her outfit was a charming sight, so tiny that it looked as if it came from a dollhouse. Even on ordinary days, so many people came and went that the children hardly noticed the guests gathered in their little mistress’s honor. Only when she raised her arms for the Binding of the Sleeves did the unusual gesture catch their attention. They had never seen her in such a pretty pose before.

Meanwhile the mother at Ōi was all the more wretched because she now felt that her misery was self-inflicted. Had she been firm, the child might still be with her and life in some measure endurable. She could not believe that so extreme a course could really have been indispensable to its interests and bitterly repented of her docility. Even the grandmother, who had been foremost in urging the sacrifice, missed the baby sadly and went about the house with tears in her eyes. But news had reached them of the pains which Genji was bestowing upon its upbringing, and she felt no doubt that she had advised for the best.

Meanwhile, the mother at Ōi was even more miserable because she felt she had brought her suffering on herself. If she had stood firm, the child might still be with her, and life might have been somewhat bearable. She could not believe that such an extreme step had really been necessary for the child’s sake. She bitterly regretted giving in. Even the grandmother, who had urged the sacrifice most strongly, missed the baby terribly. She went about the house with tears in her eyes. But they had heard how much care Genji was taking in raising the child. The grandmother had no doubt that her advice had been best.

A peculiar compunction prevented the Lady of Akashi from sending any gift or message to the child which was no longer hers, but she took immense pains in contriving presents for all its companions and attendants from the nurse downwards, and would spend hours in the matching of colours and the choosing of stuffs.

A strange feeling of guilt kept the Lady of Akashi from sending a gift or message to the child, who was no longer hers. But she took great care in preparing gifts for all the child's companions and attendants, from the nurse down. She spent hours matching colors and choosing fabrics.

Genji did not at all want her to think that, now she had parted with the child, his visits were going to become any the less frequent, and though it was very difficult to arrange, he made a point of going out to Ōi before the turn of the year. It must at the best of times, he thought, be an uninteresting place to live in; but at any rate she had had the child to look after, and (what with getting it up and putting it to bed) that seemed to occupy a good deal of time. How she managed to get through the day now he could not imagine, and coming away from this visit with a heavy heart he henceforward wrote to her almost daily. Fortunately Murasaki no longer showed any jealousy on this score, feeling, as it seemed, that the surrender of so exquisite a child needed whatever recompense Genji found it in his heart to bestow.

Genji did not want her to think he would visit less often now that she had given up the child. Though it was very difficult to arrange, he made a point of visiting Ōi before the end of the year. He thought it must be a dull place to live, even at the best of times. But at least she had had the child to care for. Getting the child up and putting the child to bed seemed to take a good deal of time. He could not imagine how she got through the day now. He left the visit with a heavy heart and from then on wrote to her almost every day. Fortunately, Murasaki no longer seemed jealous of his letters. She seemed to feel that giving up such a beautiful child deserved whatever comfort Genji was moved to offer.

The New Year³⁵⁶ was ushered in by a spell of bright, clear weather. At the Nijō-in everything seemed to be going particularly well and, now that all the improvements were completed, an unusually large number of guests was entertained during the period of festivities. The older, married visitors came, as is customary, on the seventh day, bringing with them their children to assist in the ceremonies of congratulation; and these young visitors all seemed to be in excellent health and spirits. Even the lesser gentlemen and retainers who came to pay their respects, though no doubt many of them had worries and troubles enough of their own, managed to keep up, during these few days at any rate, an outward appearance of jollity.

The New Year³⁵⁶ began with a spell of bright, clear weather. At the Nijō-in, everything seemed to be going especially well. Now that all the improvements were finished, an unusually large number of guests came for the festivities. As was customary, the older, married visitors came on the seventh day. They brought their children to take part in the ceremonies of congratulation. The young visitors all seemed healthy and cheerful. Even the lower-ranking gentlemen and attendants who came to pay their respects kept up a cheerful appearance during those few days. No doubt many of them had plenty of worries and troubles of their own.

The lady from the Village of Falling Flowers, who was now installed in the new eastern wing, seemed completely satisfied by her new surroundings. She had her work cut out for her in keeping up to the mark all the writing-women and young girls whom Genji had allotted to her service. Nor could she feel that she had gained nothing by her present proximity; for whenever he had a few moments to spare, he would come round and sit with her. He did not however visit her by previous appointment or stay at all late at night in her apartments. Happily she was by nature extremely unexacting. If what she wanted did not come her way, she at once assumed that this particular thing was not ‘in her destiny,’ and ceased to worry about it. This habit of mind made her quite unusually easy to handle, and he for his part lost no opportunity of publicly showing by his manner towards her that he regarded her as of scarcely less consequence than Murasaki; with the result that those who came to the house felt they would be displeasing him if they did not pay their respects to her as well as to his wife; while stewards and servants saw that she was a person whom it would not be advisable to neglect. Thus everything seemed to be working very smoothly, and Genji felt that the arrangement was going to be a great success.

The lady from the Village of Falling Flowers was now settled in the new eastern wing. She seemed completely satisfied with her new surroundings. She had plenty to do keeping all the women scribes and young girls Genji had assigned to her service up to standard. Living so close to him had its advantages too. Whenever he had a few moments to spare, he would come and sit with her. But he did not arrange his visits in advance or stay late at night in her rooms. Fortunately, she was naturally undemanding. If she did not get what she wanted, she immediately assumed it was not ‘in her destiny’ and stopped worrying about it. This made her unusually easy to get along with. Genji, for his part, lost no opportunity to show publicly that he regarded her as scarcely less important than Murasaki. As a result, visitors to the house felt they would displease him if they did not pay their respects to her as well as to his wife. The stewards and servants also saw that she was not someone they could afford to neglect. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and Genji felt the arrangement would be a great success.

He thought constantly of the country house at Ōi and of the dull hours which the Lady of Akashi must be passing there at this season of festivity. So soon as the New Year celebrations both at his own house and in the Palace were drawing to a close, he determined to pay her another visit, and with this object in view he put on his finest clothes, wearing under his cherry-coloured cloak a matchless vesture of deep saffron hue, steeped in the perfumes of the scented box where it had lain. Thus clad he went to take his leave of Murasaki, and as he stood in the full rays of the setting sun, his appearance was so magnificent that she gazed at him with even greater admiration than was her wont. The little princess grabbed at the ends of his long wide trousers with her baby hands, as though she did not want him to go. When he reached the door of the women’s apartments she was still clinging to him and he was obliged to halt for a moment in order to disentangle himself. Having at last coaxed her into releasing him, he hurried down the corridor humming to himself as he did so the peasant-song ‘To-morrow I will come again.’³⁵⁷ At the door he met one of Murasaki’s ladies and by her he sent back just that message, ‘To-morrow I will come again.’ She instantly recognized whence the words came and answered with the poem: ‘Were there on the far shore no person to detain your boat, then might I indeed believe that to-morrow you will come again.’ This was brought to him before he drove away, and smiling at her readiness of wit he answered: ‘In truth I will but look to my business and come back again; come back to-morrow, though she across the waters chide me as she will.’ The little girl did not of course understand a word of all this; but she saw that there was a joke, and was cutting the strangest capers. As usual the sight of her antics disarmed all Murasaki’s resentment, and though she would much rather there had been no ‘lady on the far shore,’ she no longer felt any hostility towards her. Through what misery the mother must be passing, Murasaki was now in a position to judge for herself. She continually imagined what her own feelings would be if the child were taken from her, never for an instant let it go out of her sight, and again and again pressed it to her bosom, putting her lovely teats to its mouth, and caressing it for hours together.

He thought constantly of the country house at Ōi. He imagined how dull the hours must be for the Lady of Akashi during the festivities. As the New Year celebrations at his house and the Palace drew to a close, he decided to visit her again. He put on his finest clothes. Under his cherry-colored cloak he wore a matchless deep saffron robe, fragrant from the scented box where it had been kept. Dressed this way, he went to say goodbye to Murasaki. He stood in the full light of the setting sun and looked so magnificent that she admired him even more than usual. The little princess grabbed the ends of his long, wide trousers with her baby hands, as though she did not want him to go. She was still clinging to him when he reached the door of the women’s apartments. He had to stop for a moment to free himself. At last he coaxed her into letting go and hurried down the corridor. As he went, he hummed the peasant song ‘To-morrow I will come again.’³⁵⁷ At the door he met one of Murasaki’s ladies and sent back that very message with her: ‘To-morrow I will come again.’ Murasaki recognized the words at once and replied with a poem: ‘If no one on the far shore were there to detain your boat, then I might truly believe that you will come again tomorrow.’ Her reply reached him before he drove away. Smiling at her quick wit, he answered: ‘In truth I will only see to my business and come back again. I will come back tomorrow, though she across the water scolds me as much as she likes.’ The little girl, of course, did not understand a word of this. But she saw that there was a joke and began making the strangest playful movements. As usual, her antics dispelled all of Murasaki’s resentment. Though Murasaki would have preferred that there be no ‘lady on the far shore,’ she no longer felt any hostility toward her. She could now judge for herself how miserable the mother must be. She kept imagining how she would feel if the child were taken from her. She never let the child out of her sight for a moment. Again and again, she held her to her bosom, put her lovely breasts to the child’s mouth, and caressed her for hours.

‘What a pity that she has never had one of her own!’ her ladies whispered; ‘To be sure if this were hers, she could not wish it different....’

‘What a pity she has never had one of her own!’ her ladies whispered. ‘If this were hers, she surely couldn't wish it any different....’

Meanwhile the Lady of Akashi was setting herself to face with resolute calm the dullness and monotony of country life. The house had a curious charm of its own, which appealed very much to Genji during his visits, and as for its occupant,—he was astonished at the continual improvement in her looks. Indeed, had not that queer father of hers taken such extraordinary pains to prevent her ever mixing with the world, he believed there was no reason why she should not have done extremely well for herself. Yes, all she had needed was an ordinary father; even a rather shabby one would not have mattered. For such beauty and intelligence as hers, if once given the chance, could not have failed to pull her through. Each visit left him restless and unsatisfied, and he found himself spending his time in continual goings and comings, his life ‘a tremulous causeway linking dream to dream.’

Meanwhile, the Lady of Akashi was preparing to face the dull, monotonous country life with determined calm. The house had a peculiar charm that Genji enjoyed on his visits. As for the Lady herself, he was amazed that she grew more beautiful all the time. Her strange father had taken extraordinary pains to keep her from ever mixing with society. If he had not, Genji believed she could have done very well for herself. Yes, all she had needed was an ordinary father. Even a rather shabby one would not have mattered. Given a chance, her beauty and intelligence could not have failed to carry her through. Each visit left him restless and unsatisfied. He found himself constantly going back and forth, his life ‘a trembling causeway linking dream to dream.’

Sometimes he would send for a zithern and remembering the exquisite music with which she had beguiled those nights at Akashi, he begged her to play to him upon her lute. She would not now play alone; but she sometimes consented to accompany him, doing so with a mastery he could not imagine how she had contrived to acquire. The rest of the time was generally spent in minute recital of the little princess’s sayings and doings. Often he had come over on business connected with his new oratory at Saga or his estate at Katsura; and then there would perhaps be only time enough to eat a little fruit and dried rice with her at Ōi before he hurried back to town. On such occasions there was not time for intimacies of any kind; but the mere fact that he snatched at every chance of seeing her and that he did so without any attempt at concealment, marked her as one who held a not inconsiderable place in his affections. She was quite aware of this; but she never presumed upon it, and without any tiresome display of humility she obeyed his orders and in general gave him as little trouble as possible. By all that she could hear, there was not one of the great ladies at Court with whom he was on so intimate a footing as with herself; indeed, he was said to be somewhat stand-offish and difficult of approach. Were she to live closer at hand he would perhaps grow weary of her, and in any case there would certainly be unpleasant rivalries and jealousies. Thus or in some such way may we suppose the Lady of Akashi to have reconciled herself to these brief and accidental visits. Her father, despite his disavowal of all worldly interests, was extremely anxious to hear how Genji was behaving towards his daughter and constantly sent messengers to Ōi to pick up what news they could. Much of what he heard distressed and disappointed him; but frequently too there were signs and indications of a more encouraging kind, and he would grow quite elated.

Sometimes he would send for a zither. Remembering the beautiful music she had played during those nights at Akashi, he would beg her to play her lute for him. She would no longer play alone, but sometimes she agreed to accompany him. She played with a skill he could not imagine how she had acquired. They usually spent the rest of their time recounting every detail of the little princess’s words and actions. Often he had come on business concerning his new oratory at Saga or his estate at Katsura. Then there might be time only for a little fruit and dried rice with her at Ōi before he hurried back to town. On such visits, there was no time for intimacy of any kind. But he took every chance to see her and made no attempt to hide his visits. This showed that she held a significant place in his affections. She knew this very well, but she never took advantage of it. Without any tiresome show of humility, she followed his wishes and generally gave him as little trouble as possible. From all she heard, he was not as close to any of the great ladies at Court as he was to her. Indeed, he was said to be rather reserved and difficult to approach. If she lived closer, he might grow tired of her. In any case, there would certainly be unpleasant rivalries and jealousies. In this way, or something like it, we may suppose the Lady of Akashi made peace with these brief, chance visits. Her father claimed to have given up all worldly interests. Even so, he was extremely anxious to know how Genji was treating his daughter. He constantly sent messengers to Ōi to gather whatever news they could. Much of what he heard upset and disappointed him. But there were also frequent signs of a more encouraging kind, and he would become quite elated.

About this time Lady Aoi’s father died. His name had carried great weight in the country and his death was a heavy loss to the present government. It so happened that the period during which he took part in public life had been marked by much disorder and unrest. A renewal of these upheavals was now expected and general depression prevailed. Genji too was much distressed, both for personal reasons and because he had been in the habit of delegating to the old Minister most of the public business which fell to his lot. He had thus managed to secure a reasonable amount of leisure. He saw himself henceforward perpetually immersed in a multiplicity of tiresome affairs, and the prospect greatly depressed him. The Emperor, though still only twelve years old, was extremely forward for his age both in body and mind, and although it was not to be expected that he should act alone, the task of supervising his work was not a difficult one. But for some years such supervision would still be needed, and unfortunately there was no one else to whom Genji could possibly entrust such a task. Thus the prospect of being able to lead the retired life which alone appealed to him was still remote, and he frequently became very discontented.

Around this time, Lady Aoi’s father died. His name had carried great weight throughout the country, and his death was a heavy loss to the government. His years in public life had been marked by disorder and unrest. People now expected the unrest to return, and a mood of gloom spread everywhere. Genji was deeply distressed, both for personal reasons and because he had entrusted most of his public duties to the old Minister. This had given him a reasonable amount of leisure. Now he foresaw a life filled with countless tiresome duties, and the prospect depressed him greatly. Although the Emperor was only twelve, he was unusually mature for his age, both physically and mentally. He could not be expected to act on his own, but supervising his work was not difficult. Still, he would need supervision for some years, and Genji had no one else to whom he could entrust the task. The retired life Genji longed for still seemed far away, and he often felt deeply dissatisfied.

For some while he was occupied with the celebration of rituals and services on behalf of the dead man’s soul; these he carried out even more elaborately than did the sons and grandsons of the deceased. This year, as had been predicted, was marked by a number of disorders and calamities. The Palace was frequently visited by the most disagreeable and alarming apparitions, the motions of the planets, sun and moon were irregular and unaccountable, and clouds of baleful and significant shape were repeatedly observed. Learned men of every school sent in elaborate addresses to the Throne, in which they attempted to account for these strange manifestations. But they were obliged to confess that many of the reported happenings were unique, and of a very baffling character. While speculation thus reigned on every side, Genji held in his heart a guilty secret³⁵⁸ which might well be the key to these distressing portents.

For some time, he was busy performing rituals and services for the dead man’s soul. He performed them even more elaborately than the dead man’s sons and grandsons did. As predicted, the year was marked by many disturbances and disasters. Unpleasant and alarming apparitions often appeared at the Palace. The movements of the planets, sun and moon were irregular and could not be explained. Clouds with ominous, meaningful shapes were seen again and again. Scholars from every school sent elaborate reports to the Throne, trying to explain these strange signs. But they had to admit that many of the reported events were unlike anything seen before and deeply puzzling. As people everywhere speculated about them, Genji kept a guilty secret³⁵⁸ in his heart. It might well have been the key to these troubling omens.

Lady Fujitsubo had fallen ill at the beginning of the year and since the third month her malady had taken a serious turn. The August visit of the Emperor to her bedside and other unusual ceremonies had already taken place. He was a mere child when she relinquished the care of him, and he had grown up without any very strong feelings towards her. But he now looked so solemn as he stood by the bedside that she herself began to feel quite sad. ‘I have for some while felt certain,’ she said to him calmly, ‘that this would be the last year of my life. But as long as my illness did not prevent me from going about as usual, I gave no hint to those around me that I knew my end was near; for I dreaded the fuss and outcry that such a confession would have produced. Nor did I alter in any way my daily prayers and observances. I longed to visit you at the Palace and talk with you quietly about old days. But I seldom felt equal to so great an exertion.... And now it is too late.’

Lady Fujitsubo had fallen ill at the beginning of the year. By the third month, her illness had become serious. The Emperor had already paid a formal visit to her bedside, and other unusual ceremonies had taken place. He was only a child when she stopped caring for him, and he had grown up without strong feelings for her. But he looked so solemn as he stood by her bedside that she began to feel quite sad herself. ‘I have been sure for some time,’ she said to him calmly, ‘that this would be the last year of my life. But as long as my illness allowed me to go about as usual, I kept that knowledge from those around me. I dreaded the fuss and outcry my admission would have caused. I did not change my daily prayers or religious practices in any way. I longed to visit you at the Palace and talk quietly with you about old times. But I seldom felt strong enough to make such an effort.... And now it is too late.’

She spoke in a very low, feeble voice. She was thirty-seven years old, but seemed much younger. The Emperor, as he looked at her, was overwhelmed by pity and regret. That just as she was reaching an age when she would need his care, she should, unknown to him, have passed through months of continual suffering, without once having recourse to those sacred expedients which alone might have saved her—this thought made the most painful impression upon him; and now, in a last attempt to rescue her from death, he set in motion every conceivable sort of ritual and spell. Genji too was dismayed at the discovery that for months past she had been worn out by constant pain, and now sought desperately to find some remedy for her condition. But it was apparent that the end was at hand; the Emperor’s visits became more and more frequent and many affecting scenes were witnessed. Fujitsubo was in great pain and seldom attempted to speak at any length. But lying there and looking back over the whole course of her career, she thought that while in the outward circumstances of life few women could have been more fortunate than herself, inwardly scarce one in all history had been more continually apprehensive and wretched. The young Emperor was of course still wholly ignorant of the secret of his birth. In not acquainting him with it she felt that she had failed in the discharge of an essential duty, and the one matter after her death in which she felt any interest was the repair of this omission.

She spoke in a very low, weak voice. She was thirty-seven, but looked much younger. As the Emperor looked at her, he was overwhelmed with pity and regret. She was just reaching an age when she would need his care. Yet, without his knowledge, she had suffered for months without turning to the sacred practices that alone might have saved her. The thought caused him great pain. Now, in a last attempt to save her from death, he ordered every conceivable kind of ritual and spell. Genji too was distressed to learn that constant pain had worn her down for months. He now searched desperately for a remedy. But it was clear that the end was near. The Emperor visited her more and more often, and many touching scenes took place. Fujitsubo was in great pain and rarely tried to speak for long. As she lay there, she looked back over her whole life. Outwardly, few women could have been more fortunate. But inwardly, hardly any woman in history had lived in such constant fear and misery. The young Emperor, of course, still knew nothing of the secret of his birth. Fujitsubo felt that she had failed in an essential duty by not telling him. After her death, the only matter she cared about was that he should be told.

Merely in his position as head of the government it was natural that Genji should be gravely concerned by the approaching loss to his faction of so distinguished a supporter, coming, as it seemed likely to, not many months after the death of the old Grand Minister. This public concern could indeed be openly displayed. But concealed from all those about him there was in his inmost heart a measureless sorrow, to which he dared give vent only in perpetual supplication and prayer. That it was no longer possible to renew even such casual and colourless intercourse as had been theirs in recent years was very painful to him. He hurried to her bedside at the first news of the serious turn which her condition had taken.

As head of the government, Genji had good reason to be deeply concerned about losing such a distinguished supporter. Her loss seemed likely to come only a few months after the death of the old Grand Minister. He could openly show this concern for his faction. But deep in his heart, hidden from everyone around him, was a boundless sorrow. He dared express it only through constant appeals and prayers. It pained him deeply that he could no longer see her, even in the casual, distant way they had met in recent years. As soon as he heard that her condition had taken a serious turn, he hurried to her bedside.

To his surprise she did, in a faint and halting manner, contrive to speak a few words to him when she realized that he was near. First she thanked him for carrying out so scrupulously the late Emperor’s wishes with regard to the surveillance of his present Majesty. Much had happened in the last years for which she had cause to be grateful to him, and she had often meant to tell him how sensible she was of his kindness. And there was another matter of which she had meant for some time to speak ... to the Emperor himself. She was sorry she had never.... Here her voice became inaudible, and tears for a while prevented him from making a reply. He feared that this display of emotion would arouse comment among those who were standing by; but indeed any one who had known her as she used to be might well have been overcome with grief to see her in so woeful a condition. Suddenly he looked up. No thought or prayer of his could now recall her; and in unspeakable anguish, not knowing whether she heard him or no, he began to address her: ‘In spite of the difficulties into which I myself have sometimes fallen, I have tried to do my best for His Majesty, or at any rate, what then seemed to me best. But since the death of the old Grand Minister, everything has gone wrong; and with you lying ill like this I do not know which way to turn. Were you now to die, I think I should soon follow you....’ He paused, but there was no reply; for she had died suddenly like a candle blown out by the wind, and he was left in bewilderment and misery.

To his surprise, when she realized he was near, she managed to speak a few faint, hesitant words. First, she thanked him for carrying out the late Emperor’s wishes so carefully in looking after the present Emperor. Much had happened in recent years for which she was grateful to him. She had often meant to tell him how much she appreciated his kindness. There was another matter she had meant to speak about for some time ... to the Emperor himself. She was sorry she had never.... Her voice faded until he could no longer hear her. For a while, tears kept him from replying. He feared that those standing by would comment on his emotion. But anyone who had known her as she used to be might have been overcome with grief at seeing her in such a wretched state. Suddenly he looked up. No thought or prayer of his could bring her back now. In unspeakable anguish, not knowing whether she could hear him, he began to speak to her: ‘Despite the troubles I have sometimes faced, I have tried to do my best for His Majesty. At least, I have tried to do what seemed best to me at the time. But since the old Grand Minister died, everything has gone wrong. And with you lying ill like this, I do not know which way to turn. If you were to die now, I think I would soon follow you....’ He paused, but there was no reply. She had died suddenly, like a candle blown out by the wind, leaving him bewildered and miserable.

She was, of all the great ladies about the Court at that time, the most tender-hearted and universally considerate. Women of her class do not as a rule expect to compass their own ends without causing considerable inconvenience to ordinary people. Fujitsubo on the contrary invariably released even her servants and retainers from any duty which she felt to be an undue infringement of their liberty.

Of all the noblewomen at Court at the time, she was the kindest and most considerate of everyone. Women of her class generally expected to inconvenience ordinary people considerably to get what they wanted. Fujitsubo, by contrast, always excused even her servants and retainers from duties she felt restricted their freedom too much.

She was devout; but unlike many religious persons she did not display her piety by impressive benefactions paid for out of funds which other people had collected. Her charities (and they were considerable) were made at the expense of her own exchequer. The ranks, titles and benefices which were at her disposal she distributed with great intelligence and care, and so many were her individual acts of generosity that there was scarcely a poor ignorant mountain-priest in all the land who had not reason to lament her loss. Seldom had the obsequies of any public person provoked so heart-felt and universal a sorrow. At Court no colour but black was anywhere to be seen; and the last weeks of spring lacked all their usual brilliance and gaiety.

She was devout. But unlike many religious people, she did not show her piety through grand donations funded by others. She gave generously to charity from her own resources. She distributed the ranks, titles, and benefices at her disposal with great intelligence and care. She performed so many individual acts of generosity that scarcely a poor, uneducated mountain priest in the land had no reason to mourn her loss. Rarely had the funeral of a public figure inspired such heartfelt and universal sorrow. At Court, nothing but black could be seen. The last weeks of spring had none of their usual brightness and gaiety.

Standing one day before the great cherry-tree which grew in front of the Nijō-in Genji suddenly remembered that this was the season when, under ordinary circumstances, the Flower Feast would have been held at the Emperor’s Palace. ‘This year should’st thou have blossomed with black flowers,’³⁵⁹ he murmured and, to hide the sudden access of grief that had overwhelmed him, rushed into his chapel and remained there weeping bitterly till it began to grow dark. Issuing at last, he found a flaming sun about to sink beneath the horizon. Against this vivid glow the trees upon the hill stood out with marvellous clearness, every branch, nay every twig distinct. But across the hill there presently drifted a thin filament of cloud, draping the summit with a band of grey. He was in no mood that day to notice sunsets or pretty cloud-effects; but in this half-curtained sky there seemed to him to be a strange significance, and none being by to hear him he recited the verse: ‘Across the sunset hill there hangs a wreath of cloud that garbs the evening as with the dark folds of a mourner’s dress.’

One day, Genji stood before the great cherry tree in front of the Nijō-in. He suddenly remembered that, under ordinary circumstances, the Flower Feast would have been held at the Emperor’s Palace at this time of year. ‘This year you should have blossomed with black flowers,’³⁵⁹ he murmured. To hide the sudden grief that overwhelmed him, he rushed into his chapel. He stayed there, weeping bitterly, until it began to grow dark. When he finally came out, he saw a blazing sun about to sink below the horizon. Against its vivid glow, the trees on the hill stood out with remarkable clarity. Every branch, even every twig, was distinct. But soon a thin strand of cloud drifted across the hill, covering its summit with a band of grey. He was in no mood that day to notice sunsets or pretty clouds. Yet the half-curtained sky seemed strangely meaningful to him. With no one there to hear him, he recited the verse: ‘Across the sunset hill hangs a wreath of cloud, dressing the evening in the dark folds of a mourner’s clothes.’

There was a certain priest who had for generations served as chaplain in Lady Fujitsubo’s family. Her mother had placed extraordinary confidence in him, and she herself had instilled the young Emperor Ryōzen with deep veneration for this old man, who was indeed known throughout the land for the sanctity of his life and the unfailing efficacy of his prayers. He was now over seventy and had for some time been living in retirement, intent upon his final devotions. But recently the occasion of Lady Fujitsubo’s death had called him back to the Court, and the Emperor had more than once summoned him to his side. An urgent message, conveyed by Prince Genji, now reached him. The night was already far advanced, and the old man at first protested that these nocturnal errands were no longer within his capacity. But in the end he promised, out of respect for His Majesty, to make a great effort to appear, and at the calm of dawn, at a moment when, as it so happened, many of the courtiers were absent and those on duty had all withdrawn from the Presence, the old man stepped into Ryōzen’s room. After talking for a while in his aged, croaking voice about various matters of public interest, he said at last: ‘There is one very difficult matter which I wish to discuss with you. I fear I may not have the courage to embark upon it, and I am still more afraid that if I succeed in broaching this topic I may give you great offence. But it concerns something which it would be very wrong to conceal; a secret indeed such as makes me fear the eye of Heaven. What use is there, now that I am so near my end, in locking it up so tightly in my heart? I fear that Buddha himself might cast me out should I approach him defiled by this unholy concealment.’ He began trying to tell the Emperor something; but he seemed unable to come to the point. It was strange that there should be any worldly matter concerning which the old priest retained such violent emotions. Perhaps, despite his reputation, he had once secretly pursued some hideous vendetta, had caused an innocent person to be entrapped, done away with ... a thousand monstrous possibilities crowded to the Emperor’s mind. ‘Reverend Father,’ he said at last, ‘you have known me since I was a baby, and I have never once hidden anything from you. And now I learn that there is something which you have for a long time past been concealing from me. I confess, I am surprised.’ ‘There is nothing that I have kept from you,’ the old man cried indignantly. ‘Have I not made you master of my most secret spells, of the inner doctrines that Buddha forbids us to reveal? Do you think that I, who in these holy matters reposed so great a confidence in your Majesty, would have concealed from you any dealing of my own?

A priest had long served as chaplain to Lady Fujitsubo’s family, as his predecessors had for generations. Her mother had trusted him completely, and Lady Fujitsubo had taught the young Emperor Ryōzen to revere him. Indeed, he was known throughout the land for his holy life and the unfailing power of his prayers. He was now over seventy and had retired some time ago to devote himself to his final devotions. But Lady Fujitsubo’s recent death had brought him back to Court, and the Emperor had summoned him more than once. Now Prince Genji brought him an urgent message. The night was already far advanced, and the old man protested that he could no longer make such journeys at night. But out of respect for His Majesty, he finally promised to make a great effort to come. At the quiet hour of dawn, he entered Ryōzen’s room. As it happened, many courtiers were absent, and all those on duty had withdrawn from the Emperor’s presence. The priest spoke for a while in his old, croaking voice about various matters of public interest. At last he said: ‘There is a very difficult matter I wish to discuss with you. I fear I may not have the courage to begin. And if I do manage to raise the subject, I am even more afraid I may deeply offend you. But it concerns something that would be very wrong to conceal. It is a secret that makes me fear the gaze of Heaven. Now that I am so near my end, what use is there in keeping it locked so tightly in my heart? I fear Buddha himself might cast me out if I came before him tainted by this sinful concealment.’ He began trying to tell the Emperor something, but he seemed unable to come to the point. It was strange that any worldly matter could still stir such strong feelings in the old priest. Perhaps, despite his reputation, he had once secretly pursued some terrible vendetta, trapped an innocent person, killed someone ... A thousand monstrous possibilities crowded into the Emperor’s mind. ‘Reverend Father,’ he said at last, ‘you have known me since I was a baby, and I have never hidden anything from you. Now I learn that you have been keeping something from me for a long time. I confess, I am surprised.’ ‘There is nothing I have kept from you,’ the old man cried indignantly. ‘Have I not taught you my most secret spells and the inner doctrines Buddha forbids us to reveal? I trusted Your Majesty so deeply with these holy matters. Do you think I would have concealed any of my own actions from you?

‘The matter of which I speak is one that has had grave results already and may possibly in the future entail worse consequences still. The reputations concerned are those of your late august Mother and of some one who now holds a prominent place in the government of our country ... it is to Prince Genji that I refer. It is for their sake, and lest some distorted account of the affair should ultimately reach you from other sources, that I have undertaken this painful task. I am an old man and a priest; I therefore have little to lose and, even should this revelation win me your displeasure, I shall never repent of having made it; for Buddha and the Gods of Heaven showed me by unmistakable signs that it was my duty to speak.

‘The matter I speak of has already had serious consequences. It may lead to even worse ones in the future. The reputations at stake are those of your late, honored mother and someone prominent in our country’s government ... I mean Prince Genji. For their sake, I have undertaken this painful task. I also want to prevent a distorted account of the affair from reaching you through other sources. I am an old man and a priest, so I have little to lose. Even if this revelation displeases you, I will never regret making it. Buddha and the Gods of Heaven gave me unmistakable signs that it was my duty to speak.

‘You must know, then, that from the time of your Majesty’s conception the late Empress your mother was in evident distress concerning the prospect of your birth. She told me indeed that there were reasons which made the expected child particularly in need of my prayers; but what these reasons were she did not say; and I, being without experience in such matters, could form no conjecture. Soon after your birth there followed a species of convulsion in the state; Prince Genji was in disgrace and later in exile. Meanwhile your august Mother seemed to grow every day more uneasy about your future, and again and again I was asked to offer fresh prayers on your behalf. Strangest of all, so long as Prince Genji was at the Capital he too seemed to be acquainted with the instructions I had received; for on every occasion he at once sent round a message bidding me add by so much to the prayers that had been ordered and make this or that fresh expenditure on some service or ritual....’

‘You should know that from the time you were conceived, your late mother, the Empress, was clearly worried about your birth. She told me that there were reasons why the expected child especially needed my prayers. But she did not say what those reasons were. I had no experience in such matters, so I could not guess. Soon after your birth, the state was thrown into turmoil. Prince Genji fell into disgrace and was later exiled. Meanwhile, your mother seemed to grow more anxious about your future every day. Again and again, she asked me to offer more prayers for you. Strangest of all, while Prince Genji was at the Capital, he too seemed to know about her requests. Each time, he promptly sent a message telling me to add to the prayers she had requested. He also told me to spend more on one service or ritual or another....’

The disclosure³⁶⁰ was astonishing, thrilling, terrifying. Indeed so many conflicting emotions struggled for the upper hand that he was unable to make any comment or reply. The old priest misunderstood this silence and, grieved that he should have incurred Ryōzen’s displeasure by a revelation which had been made in His Majesty’s own interest, he bowed and withdrew from the Presence. The Emperor immediately ordered him to return. ‘I am glad that you have told me of this,’ said Ryōzen. ‘Had I gone on living in ignorance of it I see that a kind of contempt would have been attached for ever to my name; for in the end such things are bound to be known. I am only sorry that you should have concealed this from me for so long; and tremble to think of the things that in my ignorance I may have said or done....³⁶¹ Tell me, does anyone besides yourself know of this, ... any one who is likely to have let out the secret?’ ‘Besides myself and your mother’s maid Ōmyōbu there is no one who has an inkling of the matter,’ the priest hastened to assure him. ‘Nevertheless the existence of such a secret causes me grave misgivings. Upheavals of nature, earthquakes, drought and storm, have become alarmingly frequent; and in the State, we have had constant disorder and unrest. All these things may be due to the existence of this secret. So long as your Majesty was a helpless infant Heaven took pity on your innocence; but now that you are grown to your full stature and have reached years of understanding and discretion, the Powers Above are manifesting their displeasure; for, as you have been taught, it frequently happens that the sins of one generation are visited upon the next. I saw plainly that you did not know to what cause our present troubles and disorders are due, and that is why I at last determined to reveal a secret which I hoped need never pass my lips.’ The old man spoke with difficulty, tears frequently interrupted his discourse, and it was already broad daylight when he finally left the Palace.

The revelation³⁶⁰ was astonishing, thrilling, and terrifying. So many conflicting emotions struggled for control that he could not answer. The old priest misunderstood his silence. He was distressed to think he had displeased Ryōzen by revealing something for His Majesty’s own benefit. He bowed and withdrew from the Emperor’s presence. The Emperor immediately ordered him to return. ‘I am glad you told me,’ said Ryōzen. ‘If I had gone on living in ignorance, I see that my name would have been forever disgraced. Such things are bound to become known in the end. I only wish you had not kept this from me for so long. I tremble to think what I may have said or done without knowing....³⁶¹ Tell me, does anyone else know about this, ... anyone who might have let the secret out?’ ‘No one has any idea about it except me and your mother’s maid Ōmyōbu,’ the priest hurried to assure him. ‘Even so, the fact that this secret exists troubles me deeply. Natural disasters, earthquakes, droughts, and storms have become alarmingly frequent. There has also been constant disorder and unrest in the State. All these things may be caused by the secret. As long as Your Majesty was a helpless infant, Heaven took pity on your innocence. But now you are fully grown and old enough to understand and exercise judgment. The Powers Above are showing their displeasure. As you have been taught, the next generation often suffers for the sins of the one before it. I could see clearly that you did not know the cause of our present troubles and disorders. That is why I finally decided to reveal a secret I had hoped never to speak of.’ The old man spoke with difficulty, often stopping because of his tears. It was already broad daylight when he finally left the Palace.

No sooner had he realized the full significance of this astonishing revelation than a medley of conflicting thoughts began to harass Ryōzen’s mind. First and foremost, he felt indignant on behalf of the old Emperor, whom he had always been taught to regard as his father; but he also felt strangely uncomfortable at the idea that Genji, who had a much better right to the Throne than he, should have been cast out of the Imperial family, to become a Minister, a mere servant of the State. Viewed from whatever standpoint, the new situation was extremely painful to him, and overcome by shock and bewilderment he lay in his room long after the sun was high. Learning that his Majesty had not risen, Genji assumed that he was indisposed and at once called to enquire. The Emperor was in tears, and utterly unable to control himself even in the presence of a visitor. But this was after all perhaps not so very surprising. The young man had only a few weeks ago lost his mother, and it was natural that he should still be somewhat upset. Unfortunately it was Genji’s duty that morning to announce to his Majesty the decease of Prince Momozono.³⁶² It seemed to Ryōzen as though the whole world, with all its familiar landmarks and connections, were crumbling about him. During the first weeks of mourning Genji spent all his time at the Palace and paid an early visit to the Emperor every day. They had many long, uninterrupted conversations, during the course of which Ryōzen on one occasion said: ‘I do not think that my reign is going to last much longer. Never have I had so strong a foreboding that calamity of some stupendous kind was at hand; and quite apart from this presentiment, the unrest which is now troubling the whole land is already enough to keep me in a continual state of agitation and alarm. Ever since this began I have had great thoughts of withdrawing from the Throne; but while my mother was alive I did not wish to distress her by doing so. Now, however, I consider that I am free to do as I choose, and I intend before long to seek some quieter mode of life....’ ‘I sincerely hope you will do nothing of the kind,’ said Genji. ‘The present unrest casts no reflection upon you or your government. Difficulties of this kind sometimes arise during the rule of the most enlightened government, as is proved by the history of China as well as by that of our own country. Nor must you allow yourself to be unduly depressed by the demise of persons such as your respected uncle, who had, after all, reached a time of life when we could not reasonably expect ...’ Thus Genji managed, by arguments which for fear of wearying you I will not repeat, to coax the Emperor into a slightly less desperate state of mind. Both were dressed in the simplest style and in the same sombre hue. For years past it had struck the Emperor, on looking at himself in the mirror, that he was extraordinarily like Prince Genji. Since the revelation of his true parentage, he had more frequently than ever examined his own features. Why, of course! There was no mistaking such a likeness! But if he was Genji’s son, Genji too must be aware of the fact, and it was absurd that the relationship should not be acknowledged between them. Again and again he tried to find some way of introducing the subject. But to Genji, he supposed, the whole matter must be a very painful one. He often felt that it was impossible to refer to such a thing at all, and conversation after conversation went by without any but the most general topics being discussed; though it was noticeable that Ryōzen’s manner was even more friendly and charming than usual. Genji who was extremely sensitive to such changes did not fail to notice that there was something new in the young Emperor’s attitude towards him—an air of added respect, almost of deference. But it never occurred to him that Ryōzen could by any possibility be in possession of the whole terrible secret. At first the Emperor had thought of discussing the matter with the maid Ōmyōbu and asking her for a fuller account of his birth and all that had led up to it. But at the last moment he felt that it was better she should continue to think herself the only inheritor of the secret, and he decided not to discuss the matter with any one. But he longed, without actually letting out that he knew, to get some further information from Genji himself. Among other things he wanted to know whether what had happened with regard to his birth was wholly unexampled, or whether it was in point of fact far more common than one would suppose. But he could never find the right way to introduce such a subject. It was clear that he must get his knowledge from other sources, and he threw himself with fresh ardour into the study of history, reading every book with the sole object of discovering other cases like his own. In China, he soon found, irregularities of descent have not only in many cases been successfully concealed till long afterwards, but have often been known and tolerated from the beginning. In Japan he could discover no such instance; but he knew that if things of this kind occurred, they would probably not be recorded, so that their absence from native history might only mean that in our country such matters are hushed up more successfully than elsewhere.

As soon as Ryōzen understood the full meaning of the astonishing revelation, conflicting thoughts began to trouble him. Above all, he felt angry on behalf of the old Emperor, whom he had always been taught to regard as his father. But he was also strangely troubled that Genji, who had a much better claim to the Throne, had been cast out of the Imperial family. Genji had been made a Minister, a mere servant of the State. However Ryōzen looked at the situation, it was deeply painful. Overcome by shock and confusion, he stayed in his room long after the sun was high. When Genji learned that his Majesty had not risen, he assumed the Emperor was unwell and came at once to inquire. The Emperor was in tears and could not control himself, even with a visitor present. But perhaps that was not so surprising. The young man had lost his mother only a few weeks earlier, and it was natural that he should still be upset. Unfortunately, Genji had to tell his Majesty that morning that Prince Momozono had died.³⁶² Ryōzen felt as if the whole world, with everything familiar in it and every connection he knew, were crumbling around him. During the first weeks of mourning, Genji spent all his time at the Palace and visited the Emperor early every day. They had many long conversations without interruption. During one of them, Ryōzen said: ‘I do not think my reign will last much longer. I have never felt so strongly that some enormous disaster was near. Even apart from that feeling, the unrest troubling the whole land is enough to keep me constantly anxious and alarmed. Ever since the unrest began, I have thought seriously of giving up the Throne. But while my mother was alive, I did not want to distress her by doing so. Now, however, I believe I am free to choose, and I intend to seek a quieter life before long....’ ‘I sincerely hope you will do nothing of the kind,’ said Genji. ‘The present unrest reflects no blame on you or your government. Difficulties like these sometimes arise under the most enlightened governments. The history of China proves this, as does the history of our own country. Nor should you let yourself be too discouraged by the deaths of people such as your respected uncle. After all, he had reached an age when we could not reasonably expect ...’ In this way, Genji coaxed the Emperor into a slightly less desperate state of mind. He used other arguments too, but I will not repeat them for fear of tiring you. Both men were dressed simply, in the same somber color. For years, whenever the Emperor looked in the mirror, he had been struck by his extraordinary resemblance to Prince Genji. Since learning who his real father was, he had examined his features more often than ever. Why, of course! There was no mistaking such a likeness! But if he was Genji’s son, Genji must know it too. It was absurd that they should not acknowledge their relationship to each other. Again and again, Ryōzen tried to find a way to raise the subject. But he supposed the whole matter must be very painful for Genji. He often felt he could not speak of it at all. Conversation after conversation passed with only the most general topics discussed, though Ryōzen’s manner was noticeably friendlier and more charming than usual. Genji was extremely sensitive to such changes, and he noticed something new in the young Emperor’s attitude toward him. Ryōzen showed him greater respect, almost deference. But Genji never imagined that Ryōzen could possibly know the whole terrible secret. At first, the Emperor had considered speaking to the maid Ōmyōbu. He wanted to ask her for a fuller account of his birth and everything that had led to it. But at the last moment, he decided it was better to let her believe she alone had inherited the secret. He resolved not to discuss it with anyone. Still, he longed to learn more from Genji himself, without actually revealing that he knew. Among other things, he wanted to know whether the circumstances of his birth were entirely without precedent. Or were such things far more common than one might suppose? But he could never find the right way to introduce the subject. Clearly, he would have to find answers elsewhere. He returned to his study of history with fresh enthusiasm, reading every book solely to discover other cases like his own. He soon found that in China, irregularities of descent had in many cases been successfully concealed until long afterward. Often, too, they had been known and tolerated from the beginning. He could find no such case in Japan. But he knew that if such things happened, they would probably not be recorded. Their absence from Japanese history might only mean that in our country such matters are concealed more successfully than elsewhere.

The more he thought about it, the more Genji regretted that Ryōzen should have discovered (as from His Majesty’s repeated offers of abdication he now felt certain to be the case) the real facts concerning his birth. Fujitsubo, Genji was sure, would have given anything rather than that the boy should know; it could not have been by her instructions that the secret had been divulged. Who then had betrayed him? Naturally his thoughts turned towards Ōmyōbu. She had moved into the apartments which had been made out of the old offices of the Lady of the Bedchamber. Here she had been given official quarters and was to reside permanently in the Palace. Discussing the matter with her one day, Genji said: ‘Are you sure that you yourself, in the course of some conversation with his Majesty, may not by accident have put this idea into his head?’ ‘It is out of the question,’ she replied. ‘I know too well how determined my Lady was that he should never discover ... indeed, the fear that he might one day stumble upon the facts for himself was her constant torment And this despite the dangers into which she knew that ignorance might lead him.’³⁶³ And they fell to talking of Lady Fujitsubo’s scrupulous respect for propriety, and how the fear of scandals and exposures which another woman would in the long run have grown to regard with indifference, had embittered her whole life.

The more Genji thought about it, the more he regretted that Ryōzen had learned the truth about his birth. His Majesty’s repeated offers to abdicate had convinced Genji that Ryōzen knew. Genji was sure Fujitsubo would have given anything to keep the boy from knowing. She could not have ordered anyone to reveal the secret. Who, then, had betrayed him? Naturally, his thoughts turned to Ōmyōbu. She had moved into apartments made from the former offices of the Lady of the Bedchamber. She had been given official quarters there and was to live permanently in the Palace. One day, while discussing the matter with her, Genji said: ‘Are you sure you never accidentally gave His Majesty this idea during a conversation?’ ‘That is impossible,’ she replied. ‘I know too well how determined my Lady was that he should never find out ... The fear that he might discover the truth for himself was a constant torment to her. And that was despite the dangers she knew his ignorance might lead him into.’³⁶³ They went on to talk about Lady Fujitsubo’s careful respect for propriety. The fear of scandal and exposure had embittered her whole life. Another woman would eventually have grown indifferent to such fears.

For Lady Akikonomu he had done all and more than all that he led her to expect, and she had already become a prominent figure at Court. During the autumn, having been granted leave of absence from the Palace, she came to stay for a while at the Nijō-in. She was given the Main Hall, and found everything decked with the gayest colours in honour of her arrival. She assumed in the household the place of a favourite elder daughter, and it was entirely in this spirit that Genji entertained and amused her. One day when the autumn rain was falling steadily and the dripping flowers in the garden seemed to be washed to one dull tinge of grey, memories of long forgotten things came crowding one after another to Genji’s mind, and with eyes full of tears he betook himself to Lady Akikonomu’s rooms. Not a touch of colour relieved the dark of his mourner’s dress, and on pretext of doing penance for the sins of the nation during the recent disorders he carried a rosary under his cloak; yet he contrived to wear even this dour, penitential garb with perfect elegance and grace, and it was with a fine sweep of the cloak that he now entered the curtained alcove where she sat. He came straight to her side and, with only a thin latticed screen between them, began to address her without waiting to be announced: ‘What an unfortunate year this is! It is too bad that we should get weather like this just when everything in the garden is at its best. Look at the flowers. Are not you sorry for them? They came when it was their turn, and this is the way they are welcomed.’ He leant upon the pillar of her seat, the evening light falling upon him as he turned towards her. They had many memories in common; did she still recall, he asked, that terrible morning when he came to visit her mother at the Palace-in-the-fields? ‘Too much my thoughts frequent those vanished days,’ she quoted,³⁶⁴ and her eyes filled with tears. Already he was thinking her handsome and interesting, when for some reason she rose and shifted her position, using her limbs with a subtle grace that made him long to see her show them to better advantage.... But stay! Ought such thoughts to be occurring to him? ‘Years ago,’ he said, ‘at a time when I might have been far more happily employed, I became involved, entirely through my own fault, in a number of attachments, all of the most unfortunate kind, with the result that I never knew an instant’s peace of mind. Among these affairs there were two which were not only, while they lasted, far more distressing than the rest, but also both ended under a dark cloud of uncharitableness and obstinacy. The first was with Lady Rokujō, your mother. The fact that she died still harbouring against me feelings of the intensest bitterness will cast a shadow over my whole life, and my one consolation is that in accordance with her wishes, I have been able to do something towards helping you in the world. But that by any act of mine the flame of her love should thus forever have been stifled will remain the greatest sorrow of my life.’ He had mentioned two affairs; but he decided to leave the other part of his tale untold and continued: ‘During the period when my fortunes were in eclipse I had plenty of time to think over all these things and worked out a new plan which I hoped would make every one satisfied and happy. It was in pursuance of this plan that I induced the Lady from the Village of Falling Flowers to take up residence in the new eastern wing. Her own resources are quite inadequate, and I used to feel very uncomfortable about her; it is a great relief to know that she is getting all she needs. Fortunately she is very easy to deal with, we understand each other perfectly and there is (or at any rate I hope so) complete satisfaction on both sides. Soon after I came back a great deal of my time began to be taken up in looking after the young Emperor and helping him to conduct the business of the State. I am not particularly interested in that sort of thing, but I was glad to be of use. It was only when it came to filling his Household that I found myself confronted with a task that was definitely uncongenial. I wonder whether you realize what very strong impulses of my own I had to overcome before I surrendered you to the Palace? You might at least tell me that you feel for me and are grateful; then I should no longer think that this sacrifice was made quite in vain....’ She was vexed. Why must he needs start talking in that strain? She made no reply. ‘Forgive me,’ he said; ‘I see that I have displeased you ...,’ and he began hastily to talk of other matters: ‘How much I should like to retire to some quiet place,—to know that for the rest of my life on earth I should have no more anxieties or cares and could devote myself for as long as I liked each day to preparation for the life to come. But of course all this would be very dull if one had nothing interesting to look back upon. There are many things to be thought of first. For example, I have young children, whose place in the world is very insecure; it will be a long time before I can establish them satisfactorily. And here you can be of great use to me; for should you—forgive me for speaking of such a thing— one day bring increase to his Majesty’s house, it would be in your power to render considerable services to my children, even though I should chance no longer to be with you.... It was evident that this sort of conversation was far more to her liking. She did not indeed say more than a word or two at a time; but her manner was friendly and encouraging, and they were still immersed in these domestic projects when darkness began to fall. ‘And when all these weighty matters are off my hands,’ said Genji at last, ‘I hope I shall have a little time left for things which I really enjoy—flowers, autumn leaves, the sky, all those day-to-day changes and wonders that a single year bring forth; that is what I looked forward to. Forests of flowering trees in Spring, the open country in Autumn.... Which do you prefer? It is of course useless to argue on such a subject, as has so often been done. It is a question of temperament. Each person is born with “his season” and is bound to prefer it. No one, you may be sure, has ever yet succeeded in convincing any one else on such a subject. In China it has always been the Spring-time with its “broidery of flowers” that has won the highest praise; here however the brooding melancholy of Autumn seems always to have moved our poets more deeply. For my own part I find it impossible to reach a decision; for much as I enjoy the music of birds and the beauty of flowers, I confess I seldom remember at what season I have seen a particular flower, heard this or that bird sing. But in this I am to blame; for even within the narrow compass of my own walls, I might well have learnt what sights and sounds distinguish each season of the year, having as you see not only provided for the springtime by a profusion of flowering trees, but also planted in my garden many varieties of autumn grass and shrub, brought in, root and all, from the countryside. Why, I have even carried hither whole tribes of insects that were wasting their shrill song in the solitude of lanes and fields. All this I did that I might be able to enjoy these things in the company of my friends, among whom you are one. Pray tell me then, to which season do you find that your preference inclines?’ She thought this a very difficult form of conversation; but politeness demanded some sort of reply and she said timidly: ‘But you have just said you can never yourself remember when it was you saw or heard the thing that pleased you most. How can you expect me to have a better memory? However, difficult as it is to decide, I think I agree with the poet³⁶⁵ who found the dusk of an autumn evening “strangest and loveliest thing of all.” Perhaps I am more easily moved at such moments because, you know, it was at just such a time ...’ Her voice died away, and knowing well indeed what was in her mind Genji answered tenderly with the verse: ‘The world knows it not; but to you, oh Autumn, I confess it: your wind at night-fall stabs deep into my heart.’³⁶⁶ ‘Sometimes I am near to thinking that I can hold out no longer,’ he added. To such words as these she was by no means bound to reply and even thought it best to pretend that she had not understood. This however had the effect of leading him on to be a little more explicit; and matters would surely have come a good deal further had she not at once shown in the most unmistakable manner her horror at the sentiments which he was beginning to profess. Suddenly he pulled himself up. He had been behaving with a childish lack of restraint. How fortunate that she at least had shown some sense! He felt very much cast down; but neither his sighs nor his languishing airs had any effect upon her. He saw that she was making as though to steal quietly and unobtrusively from the room, and holding her back he said: ‘I see that you are terribly offended; well, I do not deny that you have good cause. I ought not to be so impetuous; I know that it is wrong. But, granted I spoke far too suddenly—it is all over now. Do not, I beg of you, go on being angry with me; for if you are unkind....’³⁶⁷ And with that he retired to his own quarters. Even the scent of his richly perfumed garments had become unendurable to her; she summoned her maids and bade them open the window and door. ‘Just come over here and smell the cushion that his Highness was sitting on!’ one of them called to another. ‘What an exquisite fragrance! How he contrives to get hold of such scents I simply cannot imagine. “If the willow-tree had but the fragrance of the plum and the petals of the cherry!” So the old poet wished, and surely Prince Genji must be the answer to his prayer, for it seems that in him every perfection is combined.’

For Lady Akikonomu, Genji had done all she expected and more. She had already become a prominent figure at Court. That autumn, she was granted leave from the Palace and came to stay for a while at the Nijō-in. She was given the Main Hall, where everything had been decorated in the brightest colors to welcome her. In the household, she took the place of a favored elder daughter, and Genji treated and entertained her accordingly. One day, the autumn rain was falling steadily. The dripping flowers in the garden seemed washed into a single dull shade of gray. Memories of long-forgotten things crowded into Genji’s mind, one after another. With tears in his eyes, he went to Lady Akikonomu’s rooms. His mourning clothes were dark, without a touch of color. He carried a rosary under his cloak, supposedly to do penance for the nation’s sins during the recent disorders. Yet he wore even these somber clothes with perfect elegance and grace. With a graceful sweep of his cloak, he entered the curtained alcove where she sat. He went straight to her side. With only a thin lattice screen between them, he began to speak without waiting to be announced. ‘What an unfortunate year this is! It’s too bad we should have weather like this just when everything in the garden is at its best. Look at the flowers. Don’t you feel sorry for them? They came when their turn arrived, and this is how they’re welcomed.’ He leaned against the pillar beside her seat and turned toward her, the evening light falling on him. They shared many memories. Did she still remember, he asked, that terrible morning when he came to visit her mother at the Palace-in-the-fields? ‘My thoughts return too often to those vanished days,’ she quoted,³⁶⁴ and her eyes filled with tears. He already found her handsome and interesting. Then, for some reason, she stood up and moved to another place. Her movements had a subtle grace that made him long to see her show them to better advantage.... But wait! Should he be having such thoughts? ‘Years ago,’ he said, ‘when I might have been much happier doing other things, I became involved in several attachments. They were all most unfortunate, and entirely my own fault. As a result, I never had a moment’s peace. Two of these affairs were much more painful than the others while they lasted. Both also ended under a dark cloud of unkindness and stubbornness. ‘The first was with Lady Rokujō, your mother. The fact that she died still feeling such intense bitterness toward me will cast a shadow over my whole life. My only consolation is that, as she wished, I’ve been able to help you make your way in the world. But it will remain the greatest sorrow of my life that anything I did should have extinguished the flame of her love forever.’ He had mentioned two affairs, but he decided not to tell her about the other. He continued: ‘When my fortunes were at their lowest, I had plenty of time to think about all these things. I worked out a new plan that I hoped would make everyone content and happy. As part of that plan, I persuaded the Lady from the Village of Falling Flowers to move into the new eastern wing. Her own means are quite inadequate, and I used to worry a great deal about her. It’s a great relief to know she has everything she needs. Fortunately, she’s very easy to get along with, and we understand each other perfectly. We’re both completely satisfied, or at least I hope so. ‘Soon after I came back, I began spending a great deal of time looking after the young Emperor and helping him conduct the business of the State. I’m not particularly interested in that sort of thing, but I was glad to be useful. It was only when I had to fill his Household that I faced a task I really disliked. I wonder if you realize how strong my own desires were, and how I had to overcome them before I gave you up to the Palace? You might at least tell me you feel sorry for me and are grateful. Then I’d no longer think the sacrifice had been quite in vain....’ She was annoyed. Why did he have to start talking like that? She made no reply. ‘Forgive me,’ he said. ‘I see I’ve displeased you ...’ He hurriedly began to speak of other things. ‘How I’d like to retire to some quiet place and be free of worries and cares for the rest of my life on earth! I could spend as long as I liked each day preparing for the life to come. But of course, all that would be very dull if I had nothing interesting to look back on. ‘There are many things to think about first. I have young children, for example, whose places in the world are very insecure. It will be a long time before I can establish them satisfactorily. And here you can be a great help to me. If you should one day bear a child for his Majesty, forgive me for speaking of such a thing, you would be able to do a great deal for my children, even if I should no longer be with you....’ Clearly, this kind of conversation pleased her much more. She said only a word or two at a time, but her manner was friendly and encouraging. They were still absorbed in these plans for the family when darkness began to fall. ‘And when all these important matters are settled,’ Genji said at last, ‘I hope I’ll have a little time left for the things I really enjoy. Flowers, autumn leaves, the sky, all the everyday changes and wonders a single year brings. That’s what I look forward to. Forests of flowering trees in Spring, the open countryside in Autumn.... Which do you prefer? ‘Of course, it’s useless to argue about it, as people so often have. It’s a matter of temperament. Each person is born with “his season” and is bound to prefer it. You can be sure no one has ever managed to convince anyone else on this subject. In China, Spring has always won the highest praise, with its “embroidery of flowers.” Here, though, the brooding melancholy of Autumn seems always to have moved our poets more deeply. ‘For my part, I find it impossible to decide. Much as I enjoy birdsong and the beauty of flowers, I confess I seldom remember the season when I saw a particular flower or heard a particular bird sing. But that’s my own fault. Even within my own walls, I could well have learned what sights and sounds distinguish each season. As you can see, I’ve provided for spring with an abundance of flowering trees. I’ve also planted many kinds of autumn grass and shrubs in my garden, brought from the countryside with their roots intact. Why, I’ve even brought whole tribes of insects here, insects that were wasting their shrill songs in lonely lanes and fields. ‘I did all this so I could enjoy these things with my friends, and you are one of them. So please tell me, which season do you prefer?’ She found this a very difficult kind of conversation. But politeness demanded some answer, and she said timidly: ‘But you’ve just said you can never remember when you saw or heard what pleased you most. How can you expect me to have a better memory? Still, difficult as it is to decide, I think I agree with the poet³⁶⁵ who found the dusk of an autumn evening the “strangest and loveliest thing of all.” Perhaps I’m more easily moved at such moments because, you know, it was at just such a time ...’ Her voice faded. Genji knew very well what she was thinking of, and answered tenderly with the verse: ‘The world knows it not; but to you, oh Autumn, I confess it: your wind at night-fall stabs deep into my heart.’³⁶⁶ ‘Sometimes I’m close to thinking I can hold out no longer,’ he added. She was under no obligation to answer such words and even thought it best to pretend she hadn’t understood. But this led him to speak a little more plainly. Things would surely have gone much further if she hadn’t immediately shown, in the clearest possible way, her horror at the feelings he was beginning to declare. Suddenly he checked himself. He had been behaving with a childish lack of restraint. How fortunate that she, at least, had shown some sense! He felt very dejected, but neither his sighs nor his longing looks had any effect on her. He saw her preparing to slip quietly and unobtrusively from the room. Holding her back, he said: ‘I see you’re terribly offended, and I don’t deny you have good reason. I shouldn’t be so impulsive. I know it’s wrong. But though I spoke far too suddenly, it’s all over now. Please don’t go on being angry with me, for if you’re unkind....’³⁶⁷ With that, he went back to his own quarters. Even the scent of his richly perfumed clothes had become unbearable to her. She summoned her maids and told them to open the window and door. ‘Come over here and smell the cushion his Highness was sitting on!’ one of them called to another. ‘What an exquisite fragrance! I simply can’t imagine how he finds such scents. “If only the willow tree had the fragrance of the plum and the petals of the cherry!” That was the old poet’s wish. Surely Prince Genji must be the answer to his prayer, for he seems to have every perfection.’

He went to the western wing; but instead of going straight into Murasaki’s room, he flung himself down upon a couch in the vestibule. Above the partition he could see the far-off flicker of a lamp; there Murasaki was sitting with her ladies, one of whom was reading her a story. He began to think about what had just occurred. It was a sad disappointment to discover that he was still by no means immune from a tendency which had already played such havoc with his own and other people’s happiness. Upon what more inappropriate object could his affections possibly have lighted? True, his chief offence in old days had been of far greater magnitude. But then he had the excuse of youth and ignorance, and it was possible that, taking this into consideration, Heaven might by this time have forgiven the offence. But on this occasion he could hardly plead inexperience; indeed, as he ruefully admitted to himself, he ought by now to have learnt every lesson which repeated failure can teach.

He went to the western wing, but he did not go straight into Murasaki’s room. Instead, he threw himself down on a couch in the entrance hall. Above the partition, he could see a lamp flickering in the distance. Murasaki was sitting there with her ladies, one of whom was reading her a story. He began to think about what had just happened. He was saddened to discover that he was still far from free of an old tendency. It had already caused so much harm to his own happiness and that of others. Could he possibly have fallen for anyone more inappropriate? His worst offense in the past had been far more serious. But then he had youth and ignorance as an excuse. Perhaps, taking those into account, Heaven had forgiven him by now. This time, though, he could hardly claim to be inexperienced. As he regretfully admitted to himself, he should have learned every lesson that repeated failure could teach.

Lady Akikonomu now bitterly repented of having confessed her partiality for the autumn. It would have been so easy not to reply at all, and this one answer of hers seemed somehow to have opened up the way for the distressing incident that followed. She told no one of what had occurred, but was for a time very much scared and distressed. Soon however the extreme stiffness and formality of address which Genji henceforth adopted began somewhat to restore her confidence.

Lady Akikonomu now bitterly regretted admitting that she preferred autumn. It would have been so easy not to answer at all. Somehow, her answer seemed to have opened the way for the distressing incident that followed. She told no one what had happened, but for a time she was very frightened and upset. Soon, however, her confidence began to return a little. From then on, Genji spoke to her with extreme stiffness and formality.

On entering Murasaki’s room at a later hour in the day of the incident, he said to her: ‘Lady Akikonomu has been telling me that she likes Autumn best. It is a taste which I can quite understand, but all the same, I am not surprised that you should prefer, as you have often told me that you do, the early morning in Spring. How I wish that I were able to spend more time with you! We would pass many hours in the gardens at all seasons of the year, deciding which trees and flowers we liked the best. There is nothing which I more detest than having all my time taken up by this endless succession of business. You know indeed that if I had only myself to consider I should long ago have thrown up everything and retired to some temple in the hills....’

Later that day, after the incident, he entered Murasaki’s room and said to her: ‘Lady Akikonomu tells me she likes autumn best. I can understand her preference. But I am not surprised that you prefer early mornings in spring, as you have often told me. How I wish I could spend more time with you! We would spend many hours in the gardens throughout the year, deciding which trees and flowers we liked best. I hate nothing more than having all my time taken up by this endless stream of business. You know that if I had only myself to consider, I would have given up everything long ago. I would have retired to a temple in the hills....’

But there was the Lady of Akashi; she too must be considered. He wondered constantly how she was faring; but it seemed to become every day more impossible for him to go beyond the walls of his palace. What a pity she had got it into her head that she would be miserable at Court! If only she would put a little more confidence in him and trust herself under his roof as any one else would do, he would prove to her that she had no reason for all these reservations and precautions. Presently one of his accustomed excursions to the oratory at Saga gave him an excuse for a visit to Ōi. ‘What a lonely place to live in always!’ he thought as he approached the house, and even if the people living there had been quite unknown to him he would have felt a certain concern on their behalf. But when he thought how she must wait for him day after day and how seldom her hopes could ever be fulfilled, he suddenly felt and showed an overwhelming compassion towards her. This however had only the effect of making her more than ever inconsolable. Seeking for some means of distracting her mind, he noticed that behind a tangle of close-set trees points of flame were gleaming—the flares of the cormorant-fishers at work on Ōi River; and with these lights, sometimes hardly distinguishable from them, blended the fireflies that hovered above the moat. ‘It is wonderful here,’ said Genji; ‘you too would feel so, were not one’s pleasure always spoiled by familiarity.’ ‘Those lights on the water!’ she murmured. ‘Often I think that I am still at Akashi. “As the fisher’s flare that follows close astern, so in those days and in these has misery clung to my tossing bark, and followed me from home to home.”’ ‘My love,’ he answered, ‘is like the secret flame that burns brightly because it is hidden from sight; yours is like the fisherman’s torch, that flares up in the wind and presently is spent. No, no; you are right,’ he said after a pause; ‘life (yours and mine alike) is indeed a wretched business.’ It happened to be a time at which he was somewhat less tied and harassed than of late, and he was able to devote himself more wholeheartedly than usual to the proceedings at his oratory. This kept him in the district for several days on end, a circumstance which did not often occur and which he hoped would, for the moment at any rate, make her feel a little less neglected.

But there was also the Lady of Akashi to consider. He constantly wondered how she was doing, but it seemed harder every day to leave his palace. What a pity she had convinced herself that she would be miserable at Court! If only she would trust him a little more and live under his roof, as anyone else would. Then he would show her she had no reason for all her doubts and precautions. Soon, one of his usual visits to the oratory at Saga gave him an excuse to visit Ōi. “What a lonely place to live all the time!” he thought as he approached the house. Even if he had not known the people living there, he would have felt some concern for them. But then he thought of how she must wait for him day after day, and how seldom he could come. He suddenly felt and showed her overwhelming compassion. This only made her more inconsolable than ever. Looking for a way to distract her, he noticed flames glimmering behind a tangle of closely packed trees. They were the torches of cormorant fishers at work on the Ōi River. Fireflies hovered above the moat, mingling with the lights and sometimes barely distinguishable from them. “It is wonderful here,” said Genji. “You would think so too, if familiarity did not always spoil our pleasure.” “Those lights on the water!” she murmured. “I often think I am still at Akashi. ‘Like the fisher’s torch that follows close behind the boat, misery clung to my tossing boat in those days and in these, following me from home to home.’” “My love,” he answered, “is like a hidden flame that burns brightly because it is out of sight. Yours is like the fisherman’s torch, which flares up in the wind and soon burns out. No, no, you are right,” he said after a pause. “Life, yours and mine alike, really is a wretched business.” At the time, he was somewhat less busy and troubled than he had been lately. So he could devote himself more wholeheartedly than usual to the observances at his oratory. This kept him in the district for several days in a row, which did not often happen. He hoped that, for the moment at least, his stay would make her feel a little less neglected.