Utsusemi

GENJI was still sleepless. ‘No one has ever disliked me before’ he whispered to the boy. ‘It is more than I can bear. I am sick of myself and of the world, and do not want to go on living any more.’ This sounded so tragic that the boy began to weep. The smallness and delicacy of his build, even the way in which his hair was cropped, gave him an astonishing resemblance to his sister, thought Genji, who found his sympathy very endearing. At times he had half thought of creeping away from the boy’s side and searching on his own account for the lady’s hiding-place; but soon abandoned a project which would only have involved him in the most appalling scandal. So he lay, waiting for the dawn. At last, while it was still dark, so full of his own thoughts that he quite forgot to make his usual parting speech to his young page, he left the house. The boy’s feelings were very much hurt, and all that day he felt lonely and injured. The lady, when no answer came from Genji, thought that he had changed his mind, and though she would have been very angry if he had persisted in his suit, she was not quite prepared to lose him with so little ado.

Genji still could not sleep. ‘No one has ever disliked me before,’ he whispered to the boy. ‘I can’t bear it. I’m sick of myself and the world, and I don’t want to go on living.’ He sounded so tragic that the boy began to cry. Genji thought the boy looked remarkably like his sister. His small, delicate build and even his cropped hair reminded Genji of her. Genji found the boy’s sympathy very endearing. At times, he had considered slipping away from the boy’s side to search for the lady’s hiding place himself. But he soon abandoned the idea. It would only have caused a terrible scandal. So he lay there, waiting for dawn. At last, while it was still dark, he left the house. He was so lost in thought that he forgot his usual parting words to his young page. The boy was deeply hurt and felt lonely and wounded all day. When no answer came from Genji, the lady thought he had changed his mind. She would have been very angry if he had continued to pursue her. Even so, she was not quite ready to lose him so easily.

But this was a good opportunity once and for all to lock up her heart against him. She thought that she had done so successfully, but found to her surprise that he still occupied an uncommonly large share of her thoughts. Genji, though he felt it would have been much better to put the whole business out of his head, knew that he had not the strength of mind to do so and at last, unable to bear his wretchedness any longer he said to the boy ‘I am feeling very unhappy. I keep on trying to think of other things, but my thoughts will not obey me. I can struggle no longer. You must watch for a suitable occasion, and then contrive some way of bringing me into the presence of your sister.’ This worried the boy, but he was inwardly flattered at the confidence which Genji placed in him. And an opportunity soon presented itself.

But this was a good chance to close her heart to him once and for all. She thought she had succeeded. To her surprise, though, he still occupied an unusually large share of her thoughts. Genji felt it would have been much better to put the whole affair out of his mind. But he knew he lacked the will to do so. At last, unable to bear his misery any longer, he said to the boy, ‘I am very unhappy. I keep trying to think of other things, but my thoughts will not obey me. I cannot struggle any longer. You must watch for a suitable moment and find a way to bring me into your sister’s presence.’ The request worried the boy, but he was secretly flattered by Genji’s trust in him. And an opportunity soon arose.

Ki no Kami had been called away to the provinces, and there were only women in the house. One evening when dusk had settled upon the quiet streets the boy brought a carriage to fetch him. He knew that the lad would do his best, but not feeling quite safe in the hands of so young an accomplice, he put on a disguise, and then in his impatience, not waiting even to see the gates closed behind him, he drove off at top speed. They entered unobserved at a side-gate, and here he bade Genji descend. The brother knew that as he was only a boy, the watchman and gardeners would not pay any particular attention to his movements, and so he was not at all uneasy. Hiding Genji in the porch of the double-door of the eastern wing, he purposely banged against the sliding partition which separated this wing from the main part of the house, and that the maids might have the impression he did not mind who heard him enter he called out crossly ‘Why is the door shut on a hot night like this?’ ‘“My lady of the West”³⁸ has been here since this morning, and she is playing go with my other lady.’ Longing to catch sight of her, even though she were with a companion, Genji stole from his hiding-place, and crept through a gap in the curtains. The partition door through which the boy had passed was still open, and he could see through it, right along the corridor into the room on the other side. The screen which protected the entrance of this room was partly folded, and the curtains which usually concealed the divan had, owing to the great heat, been hooked up out of the way, so that he had an excellent view.

Ki no Kami had been called away to the provinces, and only women were in the house. One evening, after dusk had settled over the quiet streets, the boy brought a carriage to fetch Genji. Genji knew the boy would do his best, but he did not feel entirely safe relying on such a young accomplice. So he put on a disguise. Then, in his impatience, he drove off at full speed without even waiting for the gates to close behind him. They entered through a side gate without being seen, and there the boy told Genji to get out. The brother was not at all worried. He knew that, since he was only a boy, the watchman and gardeners would not pay much attention to his movements. He hid Genji in the porch by the double doors of the east wing. Then he deliberately banged against the sliding partition that separated the wing from the main part of the house. To make the maids think he did not care who heard him enter, he called out crossly, ‘Why is the door shut on a hot night like this?’ ‘“My lady of the West”³⁸ has been here since this morning, and she is playing go with my other lady.’ Genji longed to see her, even though she had a companion with her. He slipped out of hiding and crept through a gap in the curtains. The partition door the boy had gone through was still open. Genji could see through it, down the corridor and into the room on the other side. The screen guarding the room’s entrance was partly folded. Because of the great heat, the curtains that usually hid the divan had been hooked up out of the way. So he had an excellent view.

The lady sitting near the lamp, half-leaning against the middle pillar must, he supposed, be his beloved. He looked closely at her. She seemed to be wearing an unlined, dark purple dress, with some kind of scarf thrown over her shoulders. The poise of her head was graceful, but her extreme smallness had the effect of making her seem somewhat insignificant. She seemed to be trying all the while to hide her face from her companion, and there was something furtive about the movements of her slender hands, which she seemed never to show for more than a moment.

He assumed the woman sitting near the lamp, leaning against the middle pillar, was his beloved. He looked closely at her. She seemed to be wearing an unlined dark purple dress, with some kind of scarf over her shoulders. She held her head gracefully, but she was so small that she seemed somewhat insignificant. She seemed to be trying all the while to hide her face from her companion. Her slender hands moved furtively, and she never seemed to show them for more than a moment.

Her companion was sitting right opposite him, and he could see her perfectly. She wore an underdress of thin white stuff, and thrown carelessly over it a cloak embroidered with red and blue flowers. The dress was not fastened in front, showing a bare neck and breast, showing even the little red sash which held up her drawers. She had indeed an engagingly free and easy air. Her skin was very white and delicate, she was rather plump, but tall and well built. The poise of her head and angle of her brow were faultless, the expression of her mouth and eyes was very pleasing and her appearance altogether most delightful. Her hair grew very thick, but was cut short so as to hang on a level with her shoulders. It was very fine and smooth. How exciting it must be to have such a girl for one’s daughter! Small wonder if Iyo no Kami was proud of her. If she was a little less restless, he thought, she would be quite perfect.

Her companion sat directly opposite him, where he could see her perfectly. She wore a thin white underdress, with a cloak embroidered with red and blue flowers thrown carelessly over it. The dress was open in front, revealing her bare neck and breast. It even showed the little red sash that held up her drawers. She had a charmingly relaxed and carefree manner. Her skin was very white and delicate. She was rather plump, but tall and well built. The way she held her head and the angle of her brow were perfect. Her mouth and eyes had a very pleasing expression, and her whole appearance was delightful. Her hair was very thick, but cut short enough to hang at her shoulders. It was very fine and smooth. How exciting it must be to have such a girl for a daughter! No wonder Iyo no Kami was proud of her. If she were a little less restless, he thought, she would be quite perfect.

The game was nearly over, she was clearing away the unwanted pieces. She seemed to be very excitable and was making a quite unnecessary commotion about the business. ‘Wait a little’ said her companion very quietly, ‘here there is a stalemate. My only move is to counter-attack over there....’ ‘It is all over’ said the other impatiently ‘I am beaten, let us count the score;’ and she began counting, ‘ten, twenty, thirty, forty’ on her fingers. Genji could not help remembering the old song about the wash-house at Iyo (‘eight tubs to the left, nine tubs to the right’) and as this lady of Iyo, determined that nothing should be left unsettled, went on stolidly counting her losses and gains, he thought her for the moment slightly common. It was strange to contrast her with Utsusemi,³⁹ who sat silent, her face half-covered, so that he could scarcely discern her features. But when he looked at her fixedly, she, as though uneasy under this gaze of which she was not actually aware, shifted in her seat, and showed him her full profile. Her eyelids gave the impression of being a little swollen, and there was at places a certain lack of delicacy in the lines of her features, while her good points were not visible. But when she began to speak, it was as though she were determined to make amends for the deficiencies of her appearance and show that she had, if not so much beauty, at any rate more sense than her companion.

The game was nearly over, and she was clearing away the unwanted pieces. She seemed easily excited and made far more fuss about it than necessary. ‘Wait a little,’ her companion said quietly. ‘There is a stalemate here. My only move is to counterattack over there....’ ‘It is all over,’ the other said impatiently. ‘I am beaten. Let us count the score.’ She began counting on her fingers, ‘ten, twenty, thirty, forty.’ Genji could not help remembering the old song about the wash-house at Iyo (‘eight tubs to the left, nine tubs to the right’). The lady of Iyo was determined to leave nothing unsettled. As she steadily counted her losses and gains, he thought her a little common for the moment. She was a striking contrast to Utsusemi,³⁹ who sat silent with her face half-covered. Genji could hardly make out her features. But when he looked at her intently, she shifted in her seat and showed him her full profile. She seemed uneasy under his gaze, though she was not actually aware of it. Her eyelids looked a little swollen, and some of her features lacked delicacy. Her good points were not visible. But when she began to speak, she seemed determined to make up for her less attractive appearance. She seemed intent on showing that, if she had less beauty, she at least had more sense than her companion.

The latter was now flaunting her charms with more and more careless abandonment. Her continual laughter and high spirits were certainly rather engaging, and she seemed in her way to be a most entertaining person. He did not imagine that she was very virtuous, but that was far from being altogether a disadvantage.

The latter was now flaunting her charms with growing abandon. Her constant laughter and high spirits were certainly rather appealing. In her own way, she seemed very entertaining. He did not think she was very virtuous, but that was not entirely a disadvantage.

It amused him very much to see people behaving quite naturally together. He had lived in an atmosphere of ceremony and reserve. This peep at everyday life was a most exciting novelty, and though he felt slightly uneasy at spying in this deliberate way upon two persons who had no notion that they were observed, he would gladly have gone on looking, when suddenly the boy, who had been sitting by his sister’s side, got up, and Genji slipped back again into his proper hiding-place. The boy was full of apologies at having left him waiting for so long: ‘But I am afraid nothing can be done to-day; there is still a visitor in her room.’ ‘And am I now to go home again? ‘said Genji; ‘that is really too much to ask.’ ‘No, no, stay here, I will try what can be done, when the visitor has gone.’ Genji felt quite sure that the boy would manage to find some way of cajoling his sister, for he had noticed that though a mere child, he had a way of quietly observing situations and characters, and making use of his knowledge.

He was greatly amused to see people behaving naturally together. He had lived in an atmosphere of ceremony and reserve. This glimpse of everyday life was an exciting novelty. He felt slightly uneasy about deliberately spying on two people who had no idea they were being watched. Still, he would gladly have kept watching. But suddenly the boy, who had been sitting beside his sister, stood up. Genji slipped back into his proper hiding place. The boy apologized for leaving him waiting so long. ‘But I’m afraid nothing can be done today. There’s still a visitor in her room.’ ‘Am I supposed to go home again?’ said Genji. ‘That’s really too much to ask.’ ‘No, no, stay here. I’ll see what I can do when the visitor has gone.’ Genji was sure the boy would find some way to persuade his sister. Though the boy was only a child, Genji had noticed how he quietly observed situations and people and used what he learned.

The game of go must now be over. A rustling of skirts and pattering of feet showed that the household was not retiring to rest. ‘Where is the young master?’ Genji heard a servant saying, ‘I am going to fasten this partition door,’ and there was the sound of bolts being slipped. ‘They have all gone to bed’ said Genji, ‘now is the time to think of a plan.’ The boy knew that it would be no use arguing with his sister or trying beforehand in any way to bend her obstinate resolution. The best thing to be done under the circumstances was to wait till no one was about, and then lead Genji straight to her. ‘Is Ki no Kami’s sister still here?’ asked Genji, ‘I should like just to catch a glimpse of her.’ ‘But that is impossible’ said the boy ‘She is in my sister’s room.’ ‘Indeed’ said Genji, affecting surprise. For though he knew very well where she was he did not wish to show that he had already seen her. Becoming very impatient of all these delays, he pointed out that it was growing very late, and there was no time to be lost.

The game of go must be over by now. The rustling of skirts and patter of feet showed that the household was not going to bed. Genji heard a servant say, ‘Where is the young master? I am going to lock this partition door.’ Then he heard bolts sliding into place. ‘They have all gone to bed,’ said Genji. ‘Now is the time to think of a plan.’ The boy knew it would be useless to argue with his sister or try to change her stubborn mind beforehand. The best thing to do was to wait until no one was around, then lead Genji straight to her. ‘Is Ki no Kami’s sister still here?’ Genji asked. ‘I would like to catch a glimpse of her.’ ‘But that is impossible,’ said the boy. ‘She is in my sister’s room.’ ‘Really?’ said Genji, pretending to be surprised. He knew very well where she was, but he did not want to show that he had already seen her. Growing impatient with all these delays, he pointed out that it was getting very late and there was no time to lose.

The boy nodded, and tapping on the main door of the women’s quarters, he entered. Everyone was sound asleep. ‘I am going to sleep in the ante-room’ the boy said out loud; ‘I shall leave the door open so as to make a draught;’ and so saying he spread his mattress on the ground, and for a while pretended to be asleep. Soon however, he got up and spread a screen as though to protect him from the light, and under its shadow Genji slipped softly into the room.

The boy nodded, tapped on the main door of the women’s quarters, and entered. Everyone was fast asleep. ‘I’m going to sleep in the room outside,’ the boy said aloud. ‘I’ll leave the door open to let some air in.’ He spread his mattress on the floor and pretended to sleep for a while. Soon, however, he got up and set up a screen as if to shield himself from the light. In its shadow, Genji slipped quietly into the room.

Not knowing what was to happen next, and much doubting whether any good would come of the venture, with great trepidation he followed the boy to the curtain that screened the main bedroom, and pulling it aside entered on tip-toe. But even in the drab garments which he had chosen for his disguise, he seemed to the boy to cut a terribly conspicuous figure as he passed through the midnight quietness of the house.

He did not know what would happen next and doubted that any good would come of the venture. Trembling with fear, he followed the boy to the curtain screening the main bedroom. He pulled it aside and entered on tiptoe. But even in the plain clothes he had chosen for his disguise, he seemed terribly conspicuous to the boy. He stood out as he passed through the house in the stillness of midnight.

Utsusemi meanwhile had persuaded herself that she was very glad Genji had forgotten to pay his threatened visit. But she was still haunted by the memory of their one strange and dreamlike meeting, and was in no mood for sleep. But near her, as she lay tossing, the lady of the go party, delighted by her visit and all the opportunities it had afforded for chattering to her heart’s content, was already asleep. And as she was young and had no troubles she slept very soundly. The princely scent which still clung to Genji’s person reached the bed. Utsusemi raised her head, and fancied that she saw something move behind a part of the curtain that was only of one thickness. Though it was very dark she recognized Genji’s figure. Filled with a sudden terror and utter bewilderment, she sprang from the bed, threw a fragile gauze mantle over her shoulders, and fled silently from the room.

Meanwhile, Utsusemi had convinced herself that she was glad Genji had forgotten to make the visit he had threatened. But the memory of their one strange, dreamlike meeting still haunted her, and she could not sleep. As she lay tossing, the lady from the go party slept beside her. The lady was delighted by her visit and all the chances it had given her to chatter to her heart’s content. Because she was young and had no troubles, she slept very soundly. The princely scent that still clung to Genji reached the bed. Utsusemi raised her head and thought she saw something move behind a single layer of the curtain. Though it was very dark, she recognized Genji’s figure. Suddenly terrified and bewildered, she sprang from the bed, threw a delicate gauze mantle over her shoulders, and fled silently from the room.

A moment later Genji entered. He saw with delight that there was only one person in the room, and that the bed was arranged for two. He threw off his cloak, and advanced towards the sleeping figure. She seemed a more imposing figure than he had expected, but this did not trouble him. It did indeed seem rather strange that she should be so sound asleep. Gradually he realized with horror that it was not she at all. ‘It is no use’ thought Genji ‘saying that I have come to the wrong room, for I have no business anywhere here. Nor is it worth while pursuing my real lady, for she would not have vanished like this if she cared a straw about me.’ What if it were the lady he had seen by the lamplight? She might not after all prove a bad exchange! But no sooner had he thought this than he was horrified at his own frivolity.

A moment later, Genji entered. He was delighted to see that only one person was in the room. The bed was made up for two. He threw off his cloak and approached the sleeping figure. She seemed more imposing than he had expected, but that did not trouble him. It did seem rather strange that she was sleeping so soundly. Gradually, he realized with horror that it was not she at all. ‘It is no use,’ Genji thought, ‘saying that I have come to the wrong room. I have no business being anywhere here. Nor is it worth going after the woman I came for. She would not have disappeared like this if she cared at all about me.’ What if this were the lady he had seen by lamplight? She might not be a bad substitute after all! But as soon as he had the thought, he was horrified at his own frivolity.

She opened her eyes. She was naturally somewhat startled, but did not seem to be at all seriously put out. She was a thoughtless creature in whose life no very strong emotion had ever played a part. Hers was the flippancy that goes with inexperience, and even this sudden visitation did not seem very much to perturb her.

She opened her eyes. Naturally, she was somewhat startled, but she did not seem seriously upset. She was thoughtless, and no strong emotion had ever played much of a part in her life. Her inexperience made her carefree, and even this sudden visit did not seem to disturb her much.

He meant at first to explain that it was not to see her that he had come. But to do so would have been to give away the secret which Utsusemi so jealously guarded from the world. There was nothing for it, but to pretend that his repeated visits to the house, of which the lady was well aware, had been made in the hope of meeting her! This was a story which would not have withstood the most cursory examination; but, outrageous as it was, the girl accepted it without hesitation.

At first, he meant to explain that he had not come to see her. But that would have revealed the secret Utsusemi guarded so carefully from the world. He had no choice but to pretend he had visited the house repeatedly in hopes of meeting the lady! She knew about his visits, but his story would not have survived even the slightest scrutiny. Outrageous as it was, the girl accepted it without hesitation.

He did not by any means dislike her, but at that moment all his thoughts were busy with the lady who had so mysteriously vanished. No doubt she was congratulating herself in some safe hiding-place upon the absurd situation in which she had left him. Really, she was the most obstinate creature in the world! What was the use of running after her? But all the same she continued to obsess him.

He did not dislike her at all, but just then his thoughts were entirely on the woman who had mysteriously disappeared. No doubt she was safely hidden somewhere, pleased with herself for leaving him in such a ridiculous situation. Really, she was the most stubborn creature in the world! What was the point of chasing after her? But she still obsessed him.

But the girl in front of him was young and gay and charming. They were soon getting on very well together.

But the girl in front of him was young, cheerful, and charming. They soon got along very well.

‘Is not this kind of thing much more amusing than what happens with people whom one knows?’ asked Genji a little later. ‘Do not think unkindly of me. Our meeting must for the present remain a secret. I am in a position which does not always allow me to act as I please. Your people too would no doubt interfere if they should hear of it, which would be very tiresome. Wait patiently, and do not forget me.’ These rather tepid injunctions did not strike her as at all unsatisfactory, and she answered very seriously ‘I am afraid it will not be very easy for me even to write to you. People would think it very odd.’ ‘Of course we must not let ordinary people into our secret’ he answered, ‘but there is no reason why this little page should not sometimes carry a message. Meanwhile not a word to anyone!’ And with that he left her, taking as he did so Utsusemi’s thin scarf which had slipped from her shoulders when she fled from the room.

‘Isn’t this sort of thing much more amusing than what happens with people you know?’ Genji asked a little later. ‘Please don’t think badly of me. For now, our meeting must remain a secret. My position doesn’t always allow me to do as I please. Your family would no doubt interfere too if they heard about it, and that would be very tiresome. Wait patiently, and don’t forget me.’ She found these rather lukewarm instructions quite satisfactory. She answered very seriously, ‘I’m afraid it won’t be easy for me even to write to you. People would think it very strange.’ ‘Of course we mustn’t let ordinary people in on our secret,’ he answered. ‘But there’s no reason this little page can’t carry a message sometimes. Until then, not a word to anyone!’ With that, he left her. As he went, he took Utsusemi’s thin scarf, which had slipped from her shoulders when she fled the room.

He went to wake his page who was lying not far away. The boy sprang instantly to his feet, for he was sleeping very lightly, not knowing when his help might be required. He opened the door as quietly as he could. ‘Who is that?’ someone called out in great alarm. It was the voice of an old woman who worked in the house. ‘It is I’ answered the boy uneasily. ‘What are you walking about here for at this time of night?’ and scolding as she came, she began to advance towards the door. ‘Bother her’ thought the boy, but he answered hastily ‘It’s all right, I am only going outside for a minute;’ but just as Genji passed through the door, the moon of dawn suddenly emerged in all her brightness. Seeing a grown man’s figure appear in the doorway ‘Whom have you got with you?’ the old lady asked, and then answering her own question ‘Why it is Mimbu! what an outrageous height that girl has grown to!’ and continuing to imagine that the boy was walking with Mimbu, a maid-servant whose lankiness was a standing joke in the house, ‘and you will soon be as big as she is, little Master!’ she cried, and so saying came out through the door that they had just passed through. Genji felt very uncomfortable, and making no answer on the supposed Mimbu’s behalf, he stood in the shadow at the end of the corridor, hiding himself as best he could. ‘You have been on duty, haven’t you dear?’ said the old lady as she came towards them. ‘I have been terribly bad with the colic since yesterday and was lying up, but they were shorthanded last night, and I had to go and help, though I did feel very queer all the while.’ And then, without waiting for them to answer, ‘Oh, my pain, my poor pain’ she muttered ‘I can’t stop here talking like this’ and she hobbled past them without looking up.

He went to wake his page, who was lying nearby. The boy jumped to his feet at once. He had been sleeping lightly because he did not know when he might be needed. He opened the door as quietly as he could. ‘Who is that?’ someone called out in alarm. It was an old woman who worked in the house. ‘It’s me,’ the boy answered uneasily. ‘What are you doing walking around here at this time of night?’ Scolding him as she came, she started toward the door. ‘Bother her,’ the boy thought, but he answered quickly, ‘It’s all right, I’m only going outside for a minute.’ But just as Genji passed through the door, the dawn moon suddenly appeared in all its brightness. The old woman saw a grown man’s figure in the doorway. ‘Who do you have with you?’ she asked. Then she answered her own question. ‘Why, it’s Mimbu! How outrageously tall that girl has grown!’ Mimbu was a maid whose lankiness was a standing joke in the house. Still thinking the boy was walking with her, the old woman cried, ‘And you’ll soon be as big as she is, little Master!’ With that, she came out through the door they had just passed through. Genji felt very uncomfortable. Without answering for the supposed Mimbu, he stood in the shadow at the end of the corridor, hiding as best he could. ‘You’ve been on duty, haven’t you, dear?’ the old woman said as she approached them. ‘I’ve had terrible colic since yesterday and had to lie down. But they were short of help last night, and I had to help, though I felt very unwell the whole time.’ Then, without waiting for an answer, she muttered, ‘Oh, my pain, my poor pain. I can’t stay here talking like this.’ She hobbled past them without looking up.

So narrow an escape made Genji wonder more than ever whether the whole thing was worth while. He drove back to his house, with the boy riding as his postillion.

Such a close escape made Genji wonder more than ever whether the whole thing was worth it. He rode back home, with the boy riding ahead to guide the horses.

Here he told him the story of his evening’s adventure. ‘A pretty mess you made of it!’ And when he had finished scolding the boy for his incompetence, he began to rail at the sister’s irritating prudishness. The poor child felt very unhappy, but could think of nothing to say in his own or his sister’s defence.

Here he told him what had happened that evening. ‘You made quite a mess of it!’ After scolding the boy for his incompetence, he began complaining about his sister’s annoying prudishness. The poor boy was very unhappy, but he could think of nothing to say in his own or his sister’s defense.

‘I am utterly wretched’ said Genji. ‘It is obvious that she would not have behaved as she did last night unless she absolutely detested me. But she might at least have the decency to send civil answers to my letters. Oh, well, I suppose Iyo no Kami is the better man....’ So he spoke, thinking that she desired only to be rid of him. Yet when at last he lay down to rest, he was wearing her scarf hidden under his dress. He had put the boy by his side, and after giving much vent to his exasperation, he said at last ‘I am very fond of you, but I am afraid in future I shall always think of you in connection with this hateful business, and that will put an end to our friendship.’ He said it with such conviction that the boy felt quite forlorn.

‘I am utterly miserable,’ said Genji. ‘Clearly, she would not have behaved as she did last night unless she utterly hated me. But she could at least have the decency to answer my letters politely. Oh, well, I suppose Iyo no Kami is the better man....’ He said this because he thought she wanted only to be rid of him. Yet when he finally lay down to rest, he wore her scarf hidden under his clothes. He had put the boy beside him. After giving full vent to his frustration, he finally said, ‘I am very fond of you. But I am afraid that from now on I shall always associate you with this hateful business. That will put an end to our friendship.’ He said it so convincingly that the boy felt utterly desolate.

For a while they rested, but Genji could not sleep, and at dawn he sent in haste for his ink-stone. He did not write a proper letter, but scribbled on a piece of folded paper, in the manner of a writing exercise, a poem in which he compared the scarf which she had dropped in her flight to the dainty husk which the cicada sheds on some bank beneath a tree.

They rested for a while, but Genji could not sleep. At dawn, he hurriedly sent for his ink-stone. Instead of writing a proper letter, he scribbled a poem on a folded piece of paper, like a writing exercise. He compared the scarf she had dropped as she fled to the delicate husk a cicada sheds on a bank beneath a tree.

The boy picked the paper up, and thrust it into the folds of his dress.

The boy picked up the paper and tucked it into the folds of his clothes.

Genji was very much distressed at the thought of what the other lady’s feelings must be; but after some reflection he decided that it would be better not to send any message.

Genji was deeply troubled when he thought about how the other lady must feel. But after some thought, he decided it would be better not to send a message.

The scarf, to which still clung the delicate perfume of its owner, he wore for long afterwards beneath his dress.

The scarf still held its owner's delicate perfume. He wore it under his clothes for a long time afterward.

When the boy got home he found his sister waiting for him in very ill-humour. ‘It was not your doing that I escaped from the odious quandary in which you landed me! And even so pray what explanation can I offer to my friend?’ ‘A fine little clown the Prince must think you now. I hope you are ashamed of yourself.’

When the boy got home, he found his sister waiting for him in a very bad mood. ‘It was no thanks to you that I escaped the awful situation you put me in! And even so, what can I possibly tell my friend?’ ‘The Prince must think you’re a real little clown now. I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.’

Despite the fact that both parties were using him so ill, the boy drew the rescued verses from out the folds of his dress and handed them to her. She could not forbear to read them. What of this discarded mantle? Why should he speak of it? The coat that the fishers of Iseo left lying upon the shore ...⁴⁰ those were the words that came into her mind, but they were not the clue. She was sorely puzzled.

Although both parties were treating him badly, the boy took the rescued verses from the folds of his clothes and handed them to her. She could not resist reading them. What was this discarded cloak? Why would he mention it? The coat that the fishers of Iseo left lying on the shore ...⁴⁰ Those words came to mind, but they were not the clue. She was deeply puzzled.

Meanwhile the Lady of the West⁴¹ was feeling very ill at ease. She was longing to talk about what had happened, but must not do so, and had to bear the burden of her impatience all alone. The arrival of Utsusemi’s brother put her into a great state of excitement. No letter for her? she could not understand it at all, and for the first time a cloud settled upon her gay confiding heart.

Meanwhile, the Lady of the West⁴¹ felt very uneasy. She longed to talk about what had happened, but she could not. She had to bear her impatience alone. The arrival of Utsusemi’s brother made her very excited. Was there no letter for her? She could not understand it at all. For the first time, a cloud settled over her cheerful, trusting heart.

Utsusemi, though she had so fiercely steeled herself against his love, seeing such tenderness hidden under the words of his message, again fell to longing that she were free, and though there was no undoing what was done she found it so hard to go without him that she took up the folded paper and wrote in the margin a poem in which she said that her sleeve, so often wet with tears, was like the cicada’s dew-drenched wing.

Utsusemi had fiercely resisted his love. But when she sensed the tenderness behind his message, she again wished she were free. She could not undo what had happened, yet she found it so hard to be without him. She picked up the folded paper and wrote a poem in the margin. In it, she compared her sleeve, so often wet with tears, to a cicada’s dew-drenched wing.