Spiritual Training

The spiritual training of the boys was much more difficult matter than their physical and mental training. I relied little on religious books for the training of the spirit. Of course I believed that every student should be acquainted with the elements of his own religion and have a general knowledge of his own scriptures, and therefore I provided for such knowledge as best I could. But that, to my mind, was part of the intellectual training. Long before I undertook the education of the youngsters of the Tolstoy Farm I had realised that the training of spirit was a thing by itself. To develop the spirit is to build character and to enable one to work towards a knowledge of God and self-realisation. And I held that this was an essential part of the training of the young, and that all training without culture of the spirit was of no use, and might be even harmful.

The boys’ spiritual training was much more difficult than their physical and mental training. I relied little on religious books to train their spirits. Of course, I believed every student should know the basic principles of his own religion and have a general knowledge of his own scriptures. So I provided for that knowledge as best I could. But I considered it part of intellectual training. Long before I began educating the youngsters at Tolstoy Farm, I had realized that spiritual training was a separate matter. To develop the spirit is to build character and enable a person to work toward knowledge of God and self-realisation. I believed this was an essential part of training young people. Without the development of the spirit, all training was useless and might even be harmful.

I am familiar with the superstition that self-realisation is possible only in the fourth stage of life, i. e., sannyasa (renunciation). But it is a matter of common knowledge, that those, who defer preparation for this invaluable experience until the last stage of life, attain not self-realisation but old age amounting to a second and pitiable childhood, living as a burden on this earth. I have a full recollection that I held these views even whilst I was teaching, i. e., in 1911-12, though possibly I should not then have expressed them in identical language.

I know the superstition that self-realisation is possible only in the fourth stage of life, that is, sannyasa (renunciation). But it is common knowledge that those who put off preparing for this invaluable experience until life’s last stage do not achieve self-realisation. Instead, they reach old age, which becomes a second, pitiful childhood, and live as a burden on the earth. I clearly remember holding these views even while I was teaching, that is, in 1911-12. Though perhaps I would not have expressed them in exactly the same words then.

How then was this spiritual training to be given? I made the children memorise and recite hymns, and I read to them from books on moral training. But that was far from satisfying me. As I came into closer contact with them I saw that it was not through books that one could impart training of the spirit. Just as physical training was to be imparted through physical exercise, and intellectual through intellectual exercise, even so the training of the spirit was possible only through the exercise of the spirit. And the exercise of the spirit entirely depended on the life and character of the teacher. The teacher had always to be mindfull of his p’s and q’s, whether he was in the midst of his boys or not.

How, then, was I to give this spiritual training? I had the children memorize and recite hymns, and I read them books about moral training. But that was far from satisfying me. As I came to know them better, I saw that spiritual training could not be given through books. Just as physical training required physical exercise, and intellectual training required intellectual exercise, spiritual training required exercise of the spirit. And exercise of the spirit depended entirely on the teacher’s life and character. The teacher always had to be careful about his conduct, whether he was with his boys or not.

It is possible for a teacher situated miles away to affect the spirit of his pupils by his way of living. It would be idle for me, if I were a liar, to teach my boys to tell the truth. A cowardly teacher would never succeed in making his boys valiant, and a stranger to self-restraint could never teach his pupils the value of self-restraint. I saw therefore that I must be an eternal object lesson for the boys and girls living with me. They thus became my teachers, and I learnt I must be good and live straight, if only for their sake. I may say that the increasing discipline and restraint I imposed on myself at Tolstoy Farm was mostly due to those wards of mine.

A teacher can influence the spirit of his pupils by the way he lives, even from miles away. If I were a liar, it would be pointless to teach my boys to tell the truth. A cowardly teacher would never succeed in making his boys brave. And a teacher who knows nothing of self-restraint could never teach his pupils its value. So I saw that I had to be a constant example for the boys and girls living with me. In this way, they became my teachers. I learned that I had to be good and live honestly, if only for their sake. I can say that the children in my care were mostly responsible for the growing discipline and restraint I imposed on myself at Tolstoy Farm.

One of them was wild, unruly, given to lying, and quarrelsome. On one occasion he broke out most violently. I was exasperated. I never punished my boys, but this time I was very angry. I tried to reason with him. But he was adamant, and even tried to overreach me. At last I picked up a ruler lying at hand and delivered a blow on his arm. I trembled as I struck him, and I daresay he noticed it. This was an entirely novel experience for them all. The boy cried out and begged to be forgiven. He cried not because the beating was painful to him; he could, if he had been so minded, have paid me back in the same coin, being a stoutly built youth of seventeen, but he realised my pain in being driven to this violent resource. Never again after this incident did he disobey me. But I still repent that violence. I am afraid I exhibited before him that day not the spirit, but the brute in me.

One of them was wild, unruly, prone to lying, and quarrelsome. Once, he had a particularly violent outburst. I was exasperated. I never punished my boys, but this time I was very angry. I tried to reason with him. But he would not give in and even tried to outwit me. At last I picked up a ruler lying nearby and struck him on the arm. I trembled as I struck him, and I suspect he noticed. This was a completely new experience for all of them. The boy cried out and begged for forgiveness. He did not cry because the blow hurt. He was a strongly built youth of seventeen and could have struck me back if he had wanted to. But he understood how much it pained me to be driven to violence. After that incident, he never disobeyed me again. But I still regret that act of violence. I am afraid that day I showed him not the spirit in me, but the brute.

I have always been opposed to corporal punishment. I remember only one occasion on which I physically punished one of my sons. I have therefore never until this day been able to decide whether I was right or wrong in using the ruler. Probably it was improper, for it was prompted by anger and a desire to punish. Had it been an expression only of my distress I should have considered it justified. But the motive in this case was mixed.

I have always opposed physical punishment. I remember only one time when I physically punished one of my sons. To this day, I have not been able to decide whether I was right or wrong to use the ruler. It was probably wrong, because I acted out of anger and a desire to punish. If I had acted only out of distress, I would have considered it justified. But I had mixed motives.

This incident set me thinking and taught me a better method of correcting students. I do not know how that method would have availed on the occasion in question. The youngster soon forgot the incident and I do not think he ever showed great improvement. But the incident made me understand better the duty of a teacher towards his pupils.

This incident made me think and taught me a better way to correct students. I do not know how well that method would have worked in this case. The boy soon forgot the incident, and I do not think he ever improved much. But the incident helped me better understand a teacher’s duty to his students.

Cases of misconduct on the part of the boys often occurred after this, but I never resorted to corporal punishment. Thus in my endeavour to impart spiritual training to the boys and girls under me I came to understand better and better the power of the spirit.

After this, the boys often misbehaved, but I never used physical punishment. As I tried to give spiritual training to the boys and girls in my care, I came to understand the power of the spirit better and better.