Brahmacharya: Part II

After full discussion and mature deliberation I took the vow in 1906. I had not shared my thoughts with my wife until then, but only consulted her at the time of taking the vow. She had no objection. But I was hard put to it in making the final resolve. I had not the necessary strength. How was I to control my passions? The elimination of carnal relationship with one’s wife seemed then a strange thing. But I launched forth with faith in the sustaining power of God.

After discussing the matter fully and thinking it over carefully, I took the vow in 1906. Until then, I had not shared my thoughts with my wife. I consulted her only when I was about to take the vow. She had no objection. But I struggled to make the final decision. I did not have the strength I needed. How was I to control my passions? At the time, giving up sexual relations with one’s wife seemed strange. But I went ahead, trusting in God’s power to sustain me.

As I look back upon the twenty years of the vow, I am filled with pleasure and wonderment. The more or less successful practice of self-control had been going on since 1901. But the freedom and joy that came to me after taking the vow had never been experienced before 1906. Before the vow I had been open to being overcome by temptation at any moment. Now the vow was a sure shield against temptation. The great potentiality of brahmacharya daily became more and more patent to me. The vow was taken when I was in Phoenix. As soon as I was free from ambulance work, I went to Phoenix, whence I had to return to Johannesburg. In about a month of my returning there, the foundation of Satyagraha was laid. As though unknown to me, the brahmacharya vow had been preparing me for it. Satyagraha had not been a preconceived plan. It came on spontaneously, without my having willed it. But I could see, that all my previous steps had led up to that goal. I had cut down my heavy household expenses at Johannesburg and gone to Phoenix, to take, as it were, the brahmacharya vow.

As I look back on the twenty years since I took the vow, I feel joy and wonder. I had practiced self-control with some success since 1901. But before 1906, I had never experienced the freedom and joy that came after I took the vow. Before the vow, I could have been overcome by temptation at any moment. Now the vow was a sure shield against temptation. Each day, the great potential of brahmacharya became clearer to me. I took the vow while I was in Phoenix. As soon as I was free from ambulance work, I went to Phoenix. From there, I had to return to Johannesburg. About a month after my return, the foundation of Satyagraha was laid. It was as though the brahmacharya vow had been preparing me for Satyagraha without my knowing it. Satyagraha had not been a plan made in advance. It came spontaneously, without my willing it. But I could see that all my previous steps had led to that goal. I had reduced my heavy household expenses in Johannesburg and gone to Phoenix, as if to take the brahmacharya vow.

The knowledge that a perfect observance of brahmacharya means realisation of brahman, I did not owe to a study of the Shastras. It slowly grew upon me with experience. The shastric texts on the subject I read only later in life. Every day of the vow has taken me nearer the knowledge, that in brahmacharya lies the protection of the body, the mind and the soul. For brahmacharya was now no process of hard penance, it was a matter of consolation and joy. Every day revealed a fresh beauty in it.

I did not learn from studying the Shastras that perfect observance of brahmacharya means realizing brahman. That understanding grew slowly through experience. I read the scriptural texts on the subject only later in life. Each day of keeping the vow brought me closer to knowing that brahmacharya protects the body, mind, and soul. For brahmacharya was no longer a practice of harsh self-denial. It was a source of comfort and joy. Every day revealed a new beauty in it.

But if it was a matter of ever increasing joy, let no one believe, that it was an easy thing for me. Even while I am past fifty six years, I realise how hard a thing it is. Every day I realise more and more that it is like walking on the sword’s edge, and I see every moment the necessity for eternal vigilance.

But if it brought me ever greater joy, no one should think it was easy for me. Even now, past the age of fifty-six, I realize how hard it is. Every day, I see more clearly that it is like walking on a sword’s edge. Every moment, I see the need for constant vigilance.

Control of the palate is the first essential in the observance of the vow. I found that complete control of the palate made the observance very easy, and so I now pursued my dietetic experiments not merely from the vegetarian’s but also from the brahmachari’s point of view. As the result of these experiments I saw that the brahmachart’s food should be limited, simple, spiceless, and, if possible, uncooked.

Controlling the palate is the first essential step in keeping the vow. I found that complete control of the palate made keeping the vow very easy. So I began to test diets from the point of view of a brahmachari as well as a vegetarian. These experiments showed me that a brahmachart’s food should be limited, simple, without spices, and, if possible, uncooked.

Six years of experiment have showed me, that the brahmachari’s ideal food is fresh fruit and nuts. The immunity from passion, that I enjoyed when I lived on this food, was unknown to me after I changed that diet. Brahmacharya needed no effort on my part in South Africa when I lived on fruits and nuts alone. It has been a matter of very great effort, ever since I began to take milk. How I had to go back to milk from a fruit diet will be considered in its proper place. It is enough to observe here, that I have not the least doubt, that milk diet makes the brahmacharya vow difficult to observe. Let no one deduce from this, that all brahmacharis must give up milk. The effect on brahmacharya of different kinds of food can be determined only after numerous experiments. I have yet to find a fruit substitute for milk which is an equally good muscle-builder and easily digestible. The doctors, vaidyas and hakims have alike failed to enlighten me. Therefore though | know milk to be partly a stimulant, I cannot, for the time being, advise any one to give it up.

Six years of experimentation have shown me that fresh fruit and nuts are the ideal food for a brahmachari. When I lived on this food, I was free from passion in a way I no longer was after changing my diet. In South Africa, when I lived on fruit and nuts alone, brahmacharya required no effort. Ever since I began drinking milk, it has required a great deal of effort. I will explain in its proper place how I came to return to milk after a fruit diet. For now, I will say only that I have no doubt that a milk diet makes the brahmacharya vow difficult to observe. But no one should conclude from this that all brahmacharis must give up milk. The effects of different foods on brahmacharya can be determined only after many experiments. I have yet to find a fruit substitute for milk that builds muscle equally well and is easy to digest. Doctors, vaidyas and hakims have all failed to enlighten me. Therefore, though I know milk is partly a stimulant, I cannot advise anyone to give it up for now.

As an external aid to brahmacharya, fasting is as necessary as selection and restriction in diet. So overpowering are the senses, that they can be kept under control only when they are completely hedged in on all sides, from above and from beneath. It is common knowledge, that they are powerless without food, and so fasting undertaken with a view to control of the senses is, I have no doubt, very helpful. With some, fasting is of no avail, because assuming that mechanical fasting alone will make them immune, they keep their bodies without food, but feast their minds upon all sorts of delicacies, thinking all the while as to what they will eat and what they will drink after the fast terminates. Such fasting helps them in controlling neither palate nor lust. Fasting is useful, when mind co-operates with starving body, that is to say, when it cultivates a distaste for the objects that are denied to the body. Mind is at the root of all sensuality. Fasting therefore has a limited use, for a fasting man may continue to be swayed by passion. But it may be said, that extinction of the sexual passion is as a rule impossible without fasting, which may be said to be indispensable for the observance of brahmacharya. Many aspirants after brahmacharya fail, because in the use of their other senses they want to carry on as those who are not brahmacharis. Their effort is therefore identical with the effort to experience the bracing cold of winter in the scorching summer months. There should be a clear line between the life of a brahmachari and of one who is not. The resemblance that there is between the two is only apparent. The distinction ought to be clear as daylight. Both use their eyesight, but whereas the brahmachari uses it to see the glories of God, the other uses it to see the frivolity around him. Both use their ears, but whereas the one hears nothing but praises of God, the other feasts his ears upon ribaldry. Both often keep late hours, but whereas the one devotes them to prayer, the other fritters them away in wild and wasteful mirth. Both feed the inner man, but the one only to keep the temple of God in good repair, and the other gorges himself and makes the sacred vessel a stinking gutter. Thus both live as the poles apart, and the distance between them will grow and not diminish with the passage of time.

As an external aid to brahmacharya, fasting is as necessary as choosing and limiting what one eats. The senses are so powerful that they can be controlled only when they are completely restrained on every side, above and below. Everyone knows that the senses are powerless without food. So I have no doubt that fasting to control the senses is very helpful. For some people, fasting is useless. They assume that fasting mechanically will make them immune. They deny their bodies food but feast their minds on all kinds of delicacies. All the while, they think about what they will eat and drink when the fast ends. Such fasting helps them control neither their appetite nor their lust. Fasting is useful when the mind cooperates with the starving body. In other words, the mind must develop a distaste for what the body is denied. The mind is at the root of all sensuality. Fasting therefore has limited use, because a person who fasts may still be swayed by passion. But as a rule, putting an end to sexual passion may be said to be impossible without fasting. Fasting may therefore be said to be essential to practicing brahmacharya. Many people seeking brahmacharya fail because they want to use their other senses as those who are not brahmacharis do. Their effort is like trying to feel the bracing cold of winter during the scorching summer months. There should be a clear line between the life of a brahmachari and that of someone who is not one. The resemblance between the two is only on the surface. The difference should be as clear as daylight. Both use their eyes, but the brahmachari uses them to see the glories of God. The other uses them to see the frivolity around him. Both use their ears, but one hears nothing but praises of God. The other feasts his ears on crude talk. Both often stay up late, but one spends those hours in prayer. The other wastes them on wild and wasteful merriment. Both feed their inner selves, but one does so only to keep the temple of God in good repair. The other gorges himself and turns the sacred vessel into a stinking gutter. So the two live as far apart as the poles. With time, the distance between them will grow, not shrink.

Brahmacharya means control of the senses in thought, word and deed. Every day I have been realising more and more the necessity for restraints of the kind I have detailed above. There is no limit to the possibilities of renunciation, even as there is none to those of brahmacharya. Such brahmacharya is impossible of attainment by limited effort. For many, it must remain only as an ideal. An aspirant after brahmacharya will always be conscious of his shortcomings, will seek out the passions lingering in the innermost recesses of his heart and will incessantly strive to get rid of them. So long as thought is not under complete control of the will, brahmacharya in its fulness is absent. Involuntary thought is an affection of the mind, and curbing of thought therefore means curbing of the mind which is even more difficult to curb than the wind. Nevertheless the existence of God within makes even control of the mind possible. Let no one think that it is impossible because it is difficult. It is the highest goal, and it is no wonder that the highest effort should be necessary to attain it.

Brahmacharya means controlling the senses in thought, word, and deed. Every day, I see more clearly the need for the restraints I have described above. The possibilities for renunciation are limitless, just as the possibilities for brahmacharya are. Such brahmacharya cannot be achieved through limited effort. For many, it must remain only an ideal. Anyone striving for brahmacharya will always be aware of their shortcomings. They will search for the passions lingering in the deepest recesses of their heart. They will also strive constantly to rid themselves of those passions. As long as thought is not completely under the control of the will, brahmacharya is not complete. Involuntary thought is a condition of the mind. Controlling thought therefore means controlling the mind, which is even harder to control than the wind. Nevertheless, God’s presence within us makes it possible to control even the mind. Let no one think that controlling the mind is impossible because it is difficult. It is the highest goal, and it is no wonder that it requires the greatest effort.

But it was after coming to India that I realised that such brahmacharya was impossible to attain by mere human effort. Until then I had been labouring under the delusion, that fruit diet alone would enable me to eradicate all passions, and I had flattered myself with the belief that I had nothing more to do.

But only after coming to India did I realize that such brahmacharya was impossible to attain through human effort alone. Until then, I had mistakenly believed that a diet of fruit alone would enable me to eliminate all passions. I had flattered myself into believing that I had nothing more to do.

But I must not anticipate the chapter of my struggles. Meanwhile let me make it clear, that those, who desire to observe brahmacharya with a view to realising God, need not despair, provided their faith in God is equal to their confidence in their own effort.

But I must not get ahead of the chapter about my struggles. Meanwhile, let me make one thing clear. Those who wish to observe brahmacharya to realize God need not despair, provided their faith in God equals their confidence in their own effort.

‘The sense-objects turn away from an abstemious soul, leaving the relish behind. The relish also disappears with the realisation of the Highest.’¹⁵ Therefore His name and His grace are the last resources of the aspirant after moksha. This truth came to me only after my return to India.

‘The objects of the senses fall away from a person who abstains, but the desire for them remains. That desire also disappears when the person realizes the Highest.’¹⁵ Therefore, his name and his grace are the final resources for someone seeking moksha. I came to understand this truth only after I returned to India.