Life as a Householder

To set up a household was no new experience for me. But the establish¬ ment in Natal was different from the ones that I had had in Bombay and London. This time part of the expense was solely for the sake of prestige. I thought it necessary to have a household in keeping with my position as an Indian barrister in Natal, and as a representative. So I had a nice little house in prominent locality. It was also suitably furnished. Food was simple, but as I used to invite English friends and Indian co-workers, the housekeeping bills were always fairly high.

Setting up a household was not new to me. But my home in Natal was different from those I had had in Bombay and London. This time, I spent some money solely to maintain my standing. I thought I needed a home that suited my position as an Indian barrister and representative in Natal. So I had a nice little house in a prominent neighborhood. It was furnished to suit my position too. The food was simple, but I often invited English friends and Indian co-workers, so the household bills were always fairly high.

A good servant is essential in every household. But I have never known how to keep any one as a servant.

A good servant is essential in every household. But I have never known how to keep anyone as a servant.

I had a friend as companion and help, and a cook who had become a member of the family. I also had office clerks boarding and lodging with me.

A friend kept me company and helped me, and a cook had become part of the family. My office clerks also lived and ate with me.

I think I had a fair amount of success in this experiment, but it was not without its modicum of the bitter experiences of life.

I think I had a fair amount of success in this experiment, but I also had some bitter experiences along the way.

The companion was very clever and, I thought, faithful to me. But in this I was deceived. He became jealous of an office clerk who was staying with me, and wove such a tangled web that I suspected the clerk. This clerical friend had a temper of his own. Immediately he saw that he had been the object of my suspicion, he left both the house and the office. I was pained. I felt that perhaps I had been unjust to him, and my conscience always stung me.

My companion was very clever, and I thought he was loyal to me. But I was mistaken. He became jealous of an office clerk who was staying with me. He spun such a tangled web of deception that I came to suspect the clerk. My friend the clerk had a temper of his own. As soon as he saw that I suspected him, he left both the house and the office. I was hurt. I felt that perhaps I had been unfair to him, and my conscience never stopped troubling me.

In the meanwhile, the cook needed a few days’ leave, or for some other cause, was away. It was necessary to procure another during his absence. Of this new man, I learnt later, that he was a perfect scamp. But for me he proved a godsend. Within two or three days of his arrival, he discovered certain irregularities that were going on under my roof without my knowledge, and he made up his mind to warn me. I had the reputation for being a credulous but straight man. The discovery was to him therefore all the more shocking. Every day at one o’clock I used to go home from office for lunch. At about twelve o’clock one day the cook came panting to the office, and said, ‘Please come home at once. There is a surprise for you.’

Meanwhile, the cook needed a few days off, or was away for some other reason. I had to find another cook during his absence. I later learned that the new man was a complete scoundrel. But for me, he proved a godsend. Within two or three days of arriving, he discovered that things were going on under my roof without my knowledge. He decided to warn me. I had a reputation for being gullible but honest. The discovery was all the more shocking to him for that reason. Every day at one o’clock, I went home from the office for lunch. One day, at about twelve o’clock, the cook came to the office, out of breath. He said, ‘Please come home at once. There is a surprise for you.’

‘Now, what is this?’ I asked. ‘You must tell me what it is. How can I leave the office at this hour to go and see it?’

‘What is this?’ I asked. ‘You must tell me what it is. How can I leave the office now to go and see it?’

‘You will regret it, if you don’t come. That is all I can say.’

‘You’ll regret it if you don’t come. That’s all I can say.’

I felt an appeal in his persistence. I went home accompanied by a clerk and the cook who walked ahead of us, took me straight to the upper floor, pointed at my companion’s room, and said, ‘Open this door and see for yourself.’

I was moved by his persistence. I went home with a clerk and the cook. The cook walked ahead of us, took me straight upstairs, and pointed to my companion’s room. He said, ‘Open this door and see for yourself.’

I saw it all. I knocked at the door. No reply! I knocked heavily so as to make the very walls shake. The door was opened. I saw a prostitute inside. I asked her to leave the house, never to return.

I saw it all. I knocked at the door. No reply! I knocked hard enough to shake the walls. The door opened. I saw a prostitute inside. I asked her to leave the house and never return.

To the companion I said, ‘From this moment I cease to have anything to do with you. I have been thoroughly deceived, and have made a fool of myself. That is how you have requited my trust in you?’

I said to my companion, ‘From this moment on, I want nothing more to do with you. You have completely deceived me, and I have made a fool of myself. Is that how you repay my trust in you?’

Instead of coming to his senses, he threatened to expose me.

Instead of coming to his senses, he threatened to expose me.

‘I have nothing to conceal,’ said I. ‘Expose whatever I may have done. But you must leave me this moment.’

‘I have nothing to hide,’ I said. ‘Expose whatever I may have done. But you must leave me right now.’

This made him worse. There was no help for it. So I said to the clerk standing downstairs: ‘Please go and inform the Police Superintendent, with my compliments, that a person living with me has misbehaved himself. I do not want to keep him in my house, but he refuses to leave. I shall be much obliged if police help can be sent me.’

This made him worse. There was nothing else to do. So I said to the clerk standing downstairs: ‘Please give my compliments to the Police Superintendent and tell him that someone living with me has misbehaved. I do not want him in my house, but he refuses to leave. I would be grateful if the police could send help.’

This showed him, that I was in earnest. His guilt unnerved him. He apologised to me, entreated me not to inform the police and agreed to leave the house immediately, which he did.

This showed him that I was serious. His guilt made him nervous. He apologized to me and begged me not to tell the police. He agreed to leave the house immediately, and he did.

The incident came as a timely warning in my life. Only now could I see clearly how thoroughly I had been beguiled by this evil genius. In harbouring him I had chosen a bad means for a good end. I had expected to ‘gather figs of thistles.’ I had known that the companion was a bad character, and yet I believed in his faithfulness to me. In the attempt to reform him I was near ruining myself. I had disregarded the warnings of kind friends. Infatuation had completely blinded me.

The incident came as a timely warning in my life. Only then could I see clearly how completely this evil influence had deceived me. By giving him shelter, I had chosen a bad means to achieve a good end. I had expected to ‘gather figs from thistles.’ I had known that my companion was a bad man, yet I believed he was loyal to me. In trying to reform him, I had nearly ruined myself. I had ignored the warnings of kind friends. My infatuation had completely blinded me.

But for the new cook I should never have discovered the truth, and being under the influence of the companion, I should probably have been unable to lead the life of detachment that I then began. I should always have been wasting time on him. He had the power to keep me in the dark and to mislead me.

Without the new cook, I would never have discovered the truth. Still under my companion’s influence, I probably could not have begun living a life of detachment. I would have kept wasting time on him. He could keep me in the dark and mislead me.

But God came to the rescue as before. My intentions were pure, and so I was saved in spite of my mistakes, and this early experience thoroughly forewarned me for the future.

But God came to my rescue as before. My intentions were pure, so I was saved despite my mistakes. And this early experience gave me a clear warning for the future.

The cook had been almost a messenger sent from Heaven. He did not know cooking, and as a cook he could not have remained at my place. But no one else could have opened my eyes. This was not the first time, as I subsequently learnt, that the woman had been brought into my house. She had come often before, but no one had the courage of this cook. For every one knew how blindly I trusted the companion. The cook had as it were, been sent to me just to do this service, for he begged leave of me that very moment.

The cook had been almost like a messenger from Heaven. He did not know how to cook, so he could not have stayed in my service as a cook. But no one else could have opened my eyes. I later learned that this was not the first time the woman had been brought into my house. She had often come before, but no one else had the courage this cook had. Everyone knew how blindly I trusted the companion. It was as if the cook had been sent to me just to do this service, for he asked to leave my service that very moment.

‘I cannot stay in your house,’ he said. ‘You are so easily misled. This is no place for me.’

‘I can’t stay in your house,’ he said. ‘You’re so easily misled. This is no place for me.’

I let him go.

I let him go.

I now discovered, that the man, who had poisoned my ears against the clerk, was no other than this companion. I tried very hard to make amends to the clerk for the injustice I had done him. It has, however, been my eternal regret, that I could never satisfy him fully. Howsoever you may repair it, a rift is a rift.

I now discovered that the man who had turned me against the clerk was this very companion. I tried very hard to make up to the clerk for the injustice I had done him. But I have always regretted that I could never fully satisfy him. No matter how much you try to repair it, a rift is still a rift.