Farewell
But the time has now come to bring these chapters to a close.
But now the time has come to end these chapters.
My life from this point onward has been so public, that there is hardly anything about it, that the people do not know. Moreover since 1921 I have worked in such close association with the Congress leaders, that I can hardly describe any episode in my life since then without referring to my relations with them. For though Shraddhanandji, the Deshabandhu, Hakim Saheb and Lalaji are no more with us today, we have the good luck to have a host of other veteran Congress leaders still living and working in our midst. The history of the Congress, since the great changes in it that I have described above, is still in the making. And my principal experiments during the past seven years have all been made through the Congress. A reference to my relations with the leaders would therefore be unavoidable, if I set about describing my experiments further. And this I may not do, at any rate for the present, if only from a sense of propriety. Lastly my conclusions from my current experiments can hardly as yet be regarded as decisive. It therefore seems to me to be my plain duty to close this narrative here. In fact my pen instinctively refuses to proceed further.
From this point onward, my life has been so public that there is hardly anything about it people do not know. Since 1921, I have worked so closely with the Congress leaders that I can hardly describe any episode in my life since then without mentioning my relationships with them. Shraddhanandji, the Deshabandhu, Hakim Saheb and Lalaji are no longer with us. But we are fortunate that many other veteran Congress leaders are still living and working among us. The history of the Congress since the major changes I described above is still being made. All my principal experiments over the past seven years have been carried out through the Congress. So, if I were to describe my experiments further, I would have to mention my relationships with its leaders. I cannot do that, at least for now, if only out of a sense of propriety. Finally, the conclusions from my current experiments can hardly yet be considered decisive. It therefore seems to me that my clear duty is to end this narrative here. In fact, my pen instinctively refuses to go any further.
It is not without a wrench that I have to take leave of the reader. I set a high value on my experiments. I do not know whether I have been able to do justice to them. I can only say that I have spared no pains to give a faithful narrative. To describe truth, as it has appeared to me, and in the exact manner in which I have arrived at it, has been my ceaseless effort. The exercise has given me ineffable mental peace, because it has been my fond hope, that it might bring faith in Truth and Ahimsa to waverers.
It is hard for me to say goodbye to the reader. I value my experiments highly. I do not know whether I have done them justice. I can only say that I have taken every care to tell their story faithfully. I have constantly tried to describe truth as it appeared to me and exactly how I came to it. This work has given me a peace of mind beyond words. That is because I have cherished the hope that it might bring faith in Truth and Ahimsa to those who are uncertain.
My uniform experience has convinced me, that there is no other God than Truth. And if every page of these chapters does not proclaim to the reader, that the only means for the realisation of Truth is Ahimsa, I shall deem all my pains in writing these chapters to have been in vain. And, even though my efforts in this behalf may prove fruitless, let the readers know that the vehicle, not the great principle, is at fault. After all, however sincere my strivings after Ahimsa may have been, they have still been imperfect and inadequate. The little fleeting glimpses, therefore, that I have been able to have of Truth can hardly convey an idea of the indescribable lustre of Truth, a million times more intense than that of the sun we daily see with our eyes. In fact what I have caught is only the faintest glimmer of that mighty effulgence. But this much I can say with assurance, as a result of all my experiments, that a perfect vision of Truth can only follow a complete realisation of Ahimsa.
My consistent experience has convinced me that there is no God other than Truth. Every page of these chapters should proclaim that Ahimsa is the only means of realizing Truth. If they do not, I will consider all my work in writing them wasted. Even if my efforts fail, let readers know that the fault lies with me, the vehicle, not the great principle. However sincere my efforts to practice Ahimsa have been, they have still been imperfect and inadequate. So the few fleeting glimpses of Truth I have had can hardly convey its indescribable brilliance. Truth shines a million times more intensely than the sun we see every day. In fact, I have caught only the faintest glimmer of that great radiance. But my experiments allow me to say this with certainty: a perfect vision of Truth can come only after fully realizing Ahimsa.
To see the universal and all-pervading Spirit of Truth face to face one must be able to love the meanest of creation as oneself. And a man who aspires after that cannot afford to keep out of any field of life. That is why my devotion to Truth has drawn me into the field politics; and I can say without slightest hesitation, and yet in all humility, that those, who say that religion has nothing to do with politics, do not know what religion means.
To see the universal Spirit of Truth, which is present everywhere, face to face, one must love even the humblest creature as oneself. Anyone who seeks to do this cannot stay out of any area of life. That is why my devotion to Truth has drawn me into politics. And I can say without the slightest hesitation, but with all humility, that those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion means.
Identification with everything that lives is impossible without self-purification; without self-purification the observance of the law of Ahimsa must remain an empty dream; God can never be realised by one who is not pure of heart. Self-purification therefore must mean purification in all the walks of life. And purification being highly infectious, purification of oneself necessarily leads to the purification of one’s surroundings.
It is impossible to identify with all living things without purifying oneself. Without self-purification, following the law of Ahimsa must remain an empty dream. No one whose heart is impure can ever realize God. Self-purification must therefore mean purification in every part of life. And because purification is highly contagious, purifying oneself necessarily leads to the purification of one’s surroundings.
But the path of self-purification is hard and steep. To attain to perfect purity one has to become absolutely passion-free in thought, speech and action; to rise above the opposing currents of love and hatred, attachment and repulsion. I know, that I have not in me as yet that triple purity, in spite of constant ceaseless striving for it. That is why the world’s praise fails to move me, indeed it very often stings me. To conquer the subtle passions seems to me to be harder far than the physical conquest of the world by the force of arms. Ever since my return to India I have had experiences of the dormant passions lying hidden within me. The knowledge of them has made me feel humiliated but not defeated. The experiences and experiments have sustained me, and given me great joy. But I know that I have still before me a difficult path to traverse. I must reduce myself to zero. So long as one does not of his own free will put himself last among his fellow creatures, there is no salvation for him. Ahimsa is the farthest limit of humility.
But the path to self-purification is hard and steep. To become perfectly pure, one must be entirely free of passion in thought, speech, and action. One must rise above the opposing currents of love and hatred, attachment and repulsion. Despite my constant efforts, I know that I do not yet have purity in all three. That is why the world’s praise does not move me. Indeed, it often stings me. Conquering subtle passions seems to me far harder than conquering the world by force of arms. Since returning to India, I have experienced dormant passions hidden within me. Knowing about them has humbled me, but it has not defeated me. These experiences and experiments have sustained me and given me great joy. But I know that I still have a difficult path ahead. I must reduce myself to zero. As long as people do not freely put themselves last among their fellow creatures, they cannot find salvation. Ahimsa is the highest expression of humility.
In bidding farewell to the reader, for the time being at any rate, I ask him to join with me in prayer to the God of Truth, that He may grant me the boon of Ahimsa in mind, word and deed.
As I say goodbye to the reader, at least for now, I ask him to join me in prayer. Let us pray to the God of Truth to grant me the gift of Ahimsa in thought, word, and deed.
THE END
THE END
The end