Chapter 2

The next morning the youth discovered that his tall comrade had been the fast-flying messenger of a mistake. There was much scoffing at the latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views, and there was even a little sneering by men who had never believed the rumor. The tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat him severely.

The next morning, the youth discovered that his tall comrade had rushed to spread a false rumor. The men who had firmly believed him the day before mocked him. Even some men who had never believed the rumor sneered at him a little. The tall comrade fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat him badly.

The youth felt, however, that his problem was in no wise lifted from him. There was, on the contrary, an irritating prolongation. The tale had created in him a great concern for himself. Now, with the newborn question in his mind, he was compelled to sink back into his old place as part of a blue demonstration.

The young man felt, however, that his problem was not relieved at all. Instead, it dragged on, irritating him. The story had made him deeply concerned about himself. Now, with this new question on his mind, he had to return to his old place as part of a mass of blue uniforms.

For days he made ceaseless calculations, but they were all wondrously unsatisfactory. He found that he could establish nothing. He finally concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to watch his legs to discover their merits and faults. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental slate and pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have blaze, blood, and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and the other. So he fretted for an opportunity.

For days he kept trying to work it out, but all his calculations were remarkably unsatisfying. He found that he could prove nothing. At last, he decided that the only way to prove himself was to enter the blaze. Then he could, so to speak, watch his legs to discover their strengths and weaknesses. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and work out an answer in his head. To find it, he needed blaze, blood, and danger, just as a chemist needs one thing and another. So he fretted for a chance.

Meanwhile, he continually tried to measure himself by his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some assurance. This man’s serene unconcern dealt him a measure of confidence, for he had known him since childhood, and from his intimate knowledge he did not see how he could be capable of anything that was beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that his comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other hand, he might be a man heretofore doomed to peace and obscurity, but, in reality, made to shine in war.

Meanwhile, he kept comparing himself to his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some reassurance. The man’s calm lack of concern gave him some confidence. He had known the soldier since childhood and knew him well. He could not see how the soldier could do anything he himself could not. Still, he thought his comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other hand, the soldier might be a man who had been doomed to peace and obscurity until now, but was really made to shine in war.

The youth would have liked to have discovered another who suspected himself. A sympathetic comparison of mental notes would have been a joy to him.

The youth wished he could find someone else who doubted himself. He would have been glad to share their thoughts and understand each other.

He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with seductive sentences. He looked about to find men in the proper mood. All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which looked in any way like a confession to those doubts which he privately acknowledged in himself. He was afraid to make an open declaration of his concern, because he dreaded to place some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the unconfessed from which elevation he could be derided.

He sometimes tried to draw a comrade out with tempting questions. He looked around for men who seemed to be in the right mood. But none of his attempts brought out anything resembling a confession of the doubts he privately admitted to himself. He was afraid to speak openly about his concern. He dreaded giving some untrustworthy confidant the advantage of having confessed nothing, and the chance to mock him from that position.

In regard to his companions his mind wavered between two opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing them all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the superior development of the higher qualities in others. He could conceive of men going very insignificantly about the world bearing a load of courage unseen, and although he had known many of his comrades through boyhood, he began to fear that his judgment of them had been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted these theories, and assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering and quaking.

His opinion of his companions changed with his mood. Sometimes he was inclined to believe they were all heroes. In fact, he usually admired others in secret, believing they had finer qualities than he did. He could imagine men going about the world unnoticed, carrying courage no one could see. Although he had known many of his comrades since boyhood, he began to fear he had judged them blindly. At other times, he scoffed at these ideas and assured himself that his companions were all privately wondering and trembling.

His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who talked excitedly of a prospective battle as of a drama they were about to witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their faces. It was often that he suspected them to be liars.

His feelings made him feel strange around the men who talked excitedly about a coming battle. They spoke of it as if it were a play they were about to watch. Their faces showed only eagerness and curiosity. He often suspected that they were lying.

He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself. He dinned reproaches at times. He was convicted by himself of many shameful crimes against the gods of traditions.

He condemned himself harshly for having such thoughts. At times, he berated himself again and again. He found himself guilty of many shameful crimes against the gods of tradition.

In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring at what he considered the intolerable slowness of the generals. They seemed content to perch tranquilly on the river bank, and leave him bowed down by the weight of a great problem. He wanted it settled forthwith. He could not long bear such a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at the commanders reached an acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a veteran.

In his great anxiety, his heart constantly cried out against what he saw as the generals’ unbearable slowness. The generals seemed content to sit calmly on the riverbank, leaving him burdened by a great problem. He wanted the problem settled at once. He said he could not bear such a burden for long. At times, he grew intensely angry with the commanders and grumbled around the camp like a veteran.

One morning, however, he found himself in the ranks of his prepared regiment. The men were whispering speculations and recounting the old rumors. In the gloom before the break of the day their uniforms glowed a deep purple hue. From across the river the red eyes were still peering. In the eastern sky there was a yellow patch like a rug laid for the feet of the coming sun; and against it, black and patternlike, loomed the gigantic figure of the colonel on a gigantic horse.

One morning, however, he found himself standing in the ranks of his regiment, ready for action. The men whispered about what might happen and repeated the old rumors. In the darkness before dawn, their uniforms glowed deep purple. Across the river, the red eyes were still peering. In the eastern sky, a yellow patch looked like a rug laid out for the feet of the rising sun. Against it loomed the huge figure of the colonel on a huge horse, black and flat like a pattern.

From off in the darkness came the trampling of feet. The youth could occasionally see dark shadows that moved like monsters. The regiment stood at rest for what seemed a long time. The youth grew impatient. It was unendurable the way these affairs were managed. He wondered how long they were to be kept waiting.

From the darkness came the sound of trampling feet. The young man could occasionally see dark shadows moving like monsters. The regiment stood at rest for what seemed like a long time. The young man grew impatient. The way these affairs were managed was unbearable. He wondered how long the regiment would have to wait.

As he looked all about him and pondered upon the mystic gloom, he began to believe that at any moment the ominous distance might be aflare, and the rolling crashes of an engagement come to his ears. Staring once at the red eyes across the river, he conceived them to be growing larger, as the orbs of a row of dragons advancing. He turned toward the colonel and saw him lift his gigantic arm and calmly stroke his mustache.

He looked all around him and thought about the mysterious darkness. He began to believe the threatening distance might light up at any moment, and the rolling crashes of battle might reach his ears. As he stared at the red eyes across the river, they seemed to grow larger, like the eyes of a row of advancing dragons. He turned toward the colonel and saw him raise his enormous arm and calmly stroke his mustache.

At last he heard from along the road at the foot of the hill the clatter of a horse’s galloping hoofs. It must be the coming of orders. He bent forward, scarce breathing. The exciting clickety-click, as it grew louder and louder, seemed to be beating upon his soul. Presently a horseman with jangling equipment drew rein before the colonel of the regiment. The two held a short, sharp-worded conversation. The men in the foremost ranks craned their necks.

At last he heard a horse galloping along the road at the foot of the hill. The sound must mean orders were coming. He leaned forward, hardly breathing. The exciting clickety-click grew louder and louder, seeming to beat against his soul. Soon a rider with jangling equipment pulled up in front of the regiment’s colonel. They exchanged a few sharp words. The men in the front ranks craned their necks.

As the horseman wheeled his animal and galloped away he turned to shout over his shoulder, “Don’t forget that box of cigars!” The colonel mumbled in reply. The youth wondered what a box of cigars had to do with war.

As the horseman turned his horse and galloped away, he shouted over his shoulder, “Don’t forget that box of cigars!” The colonel mumbled a reply. The young man wondered what a box of cigars had to do with war.

A moment later the regiment went swinging off into the darkness. It was now like one of those moving monsters wending with many feet. The air was heavy, and cold with dew. A mass of wet grass, marched upon, rustled like silk.

A moment later, the regiment marched off into the darkness. It now looked like a monster moving along on many feet. The air was heavy and cold with dew. The wet grass rustled like silk under their feet.

There was an occasional flash and glimmer of steel from the backs of all these huge crawling reptiles. From the road came creakings and grumblings as some surly guns were dragged away.

Steel occasionally flashed and glimmered along the backs of all these huge crawling reptiles. From the road came creaks and grumbles as some surly guns were dragged away.

The men stumbled along still muttering speculations. There was a subdued debate. Once a man fell down, and as he reached for his rifle a comrade, unseeing, trod upon his hand. He of the injured fingers swore bitterly, and aloud. A low, tittering laugh went among his fellows.

The men stumbled along, still muttering about what might happen. They debated quietly. At one point, a man fell. As he reached for his rifle, a comrade stepped on his hand without seeing it. The man cursed bitterly and loudly. A quiet, nervous laugh spread among the others.

Presently they passed into a roadway and marched forward with easy strides. A dark regiment moved before them, and from behind also came the tinkle of equipments on the bodies of marching men.

Soon they reached a road and marched forward with easy strides. A dark regiment marched ahead of them. Behind them, the equipment of marching men also jingled.

The rushing yellow of the developing day went on behind their backs. When the sunrays at last struck full and mellowingly upon the earth, the youth saw that the landscape was streaked with two long, thin, black columns which disappeared on the brow of a hill in front and rearward vanished in a wood. They were like two serpents crawling from the cavern of the night.

The yellow light of the growing day rushed on behind them. At last, the sun’s rays fell fully and gently on the earth. The youth saw two long, thin black columns stretching across the landscape. Ahead, they disappeared over the crest of a hill. Behind, they vanished into a wood. They looked like two serpents crawling out of the cavern of night.

The river was not in view. The tall soldier burst into praises of what he thought to be his powers of perception.

The river was out of sight. The tall soldier began praising what he believed was his own keen perception.

Some of the tall one’s companions cried with emphasis that they, too, had evolved the same thing, and they congratulated themselves upon it. But there were others who said that the tall one’s plan was not the true one at all. They persisted with other theories. There was a vigorous discussion.

Some of the tall one’s companions insisted that they had come up with the same idea. They congratulated themselves on it. But others said the tall one’s plan was not right at all. They stuck to their own theories. A lively discussion followed.

The youth took no part in them. As he walked along in careless line he was engaged with his own eternal debate. He could not hinder himself from dwelling upon it. He was despondent and sullen, and threw shifting glances about him. He looked ahead, often expecting to hear from the advance the rattle of firing.

The young man took no part in them. As he walked along in the loose line, he was caught up in his endless debate with himself. He could not stop thinking about it. He was gloomy and sullen, and glanced around him. He looked ahead, often expecting to hear the rattle of gunfire from the troops in front.

But the long serpents crawled slowly from hill to hill without bluster of smoke. A dun-colored cloud of dust floated away to the right. The sky overhead was of a fairy blue.

But the long serpents crawled slowly from hill to hill without a puff of smoke. A dull brown cloud of dust drifted away to the right. The sky overhead was a magical blue.

The youth studied the faces of his companions, ever on the watch to detect kindred emotions. He suffered disappointment. Some ardor of the air which was causing the veteran commands to move with glee—almost with song—had infected the new regiment. The men began to speak of victory as of a thing they knew. Also, the tall soldier received his vindication. They were certainly going to come around in behind the enemy. They expressed commiseration for that part of the army which had been left upon the river bank, felicitating themselves upon being a part of a blasting host.

The young soldier studied his companions’ faces, always looking for feelings like his own. He was disappointed. Some excitement in the air had made the veteran units march happily, almost singing. That excitement had spread to the new regiment. The men began to speak of victory as if they knew it was certain. The tall soldier had also been proved right. They were certainly going to come around behind the enemy. They pitied the part of the army left on the riverbank and congratulated themselves on being part of a powerful attacking force.

The youth, considering himself as separated from the others, was saddened by the blithe and merry speeches that went from rank to rank. The company wags all made their best endeavors. The regiment tramped to the tune of laughter.

The young man felt separate from the others. The cheerful, merry talk passing from rank to rank made him sad. All the company’s jokers did their best. The regiment marched to the sound of laughter.

The blatant soldier often convulsed whole files by his biting sarcasms aimed at the tall one.

The loud soldier often made whole ranks of men shake with laughter at his biting jabs at the tall soldier.

And it was not long before all the men seemed to forget their mission. Whole brigades grinned in unison, and regiments laughed.

Before long, all the men seemed to forget their mission. Whole brigades grinned together, and regiments laughed.

A rather fat soldier attempted to pilfer a horse from a dooryard. He planned to load his knapsack upon it. He was escaping with his prize when a young girl rushed from the house and grabbed the animal’s mane. There followed a wrangle. The young girl, with pink cheeks and shining eyes, stood like a dauntless statue.

A rather fat soldier tried to steal a horse from a yard. He planned to load his knapsack onto the horse. He was leading the horse away when a young girl rushed out of the house and grabbed its mane. They argued. The girl, with pink cheeks and shining eyes, stood like a fearless statue.

The observant regiment, standing at rest in the roadway, whooped at once, and entered whole-souled upon the side of the maiden. The men became so engrossed in this affair that they entirely ceased to remember their own large war. They jeered the piratical private, and called attention to various defects in his personal appearance; and they were wildly enthusiastic in support of the young girl.

The regiment stood at rest in the road, watching. The men whooped at once and wholeheartedly took the girl’s side. They became so caught up in the affair that they completely forgot about their own great war. They jeered at the pirate-like private and pointed out flaws in his appearance. They cheered wildly for the girl.

To her, from some distance, came bold advice. “Hit him with a stick.”

She heard bold advice from some distance away. “Hit him with a stick.”

There were crows and catcalls showered upon him when he retreated without the horse. The regiment rejoiced at his downfall. Loud and vociferous congratulations were showered upon the maiden, who stood panting and regarding the troops with defiance.

They jeered and shouted at him when he retreated without the horse. The regiment rejoiced at his defeat. They loudly congratulated the young woman, who stood panting and stared defiantly at the troops.

At nightfall the column broke into regimental pieces, and the fragments went into the fields to camp. Tents sprang up like strange plants. Camp fires, like red, peculiar blossoms, dotted the night.

At nightfall, the column split into regiments, and each regiment went into the fields to camp. Tents sprang up like strange plants. Campfires dotted the night like strange red blossoms.

The youth kept from intercourse with his companions as much as circumstances would allow him. In the evening he wandered a few paces into the gloom. From this little distance the many fires, with the black forms of men passing to and fro before the crimson rays, made weird and satanic effects.

The young man avoided talking with his companions as much as he could. In the evening, he wandered a few steps into the darkness. From there, the many fires made a strange, satanic scene. The dark shapes of men passed back and forth in front of the crimson light.

He lay down in the grass. The blades pressed tenderly against his cheek. The moon had been lighted and was hung in a treetop. The liquid stillness of the night enveloping him made him feel vast pity for himself. There was a caress in the soft winds; and the whole mood of the darkness, he thought, was one of sympathy for himself in his distress.

He lay down in the grass. The blades pressed gently against his cheek. The moon had been lit and hung in a treetop. The flowing stillness of the night surrounded him and made him feel great pity for himself. The soft winds seemed to caress him. He thought the whole mood of the darkness was one of sympathy for him in his distress.

He wished, without reserve, that he was at home again making the endless rounds from the house to the barn, from the barn to the fields, from the fields to the barn, from the barn to the house. He remembered he had so often cursed the brindle cow and her mates, and had sometimes flung milking stools. But, from his present point of view, there was a halo of happiness about each of their heads, and he would have sacrificed all the brass buttons on the continent to have been enabled to return to them. He told himself that he was not formed for a soldier. And he mused seriously upon the radical differences between himself and those men who were dodging implike around the fires.

He wished with all his heart that he were home again, making the endless rounds from house to barn, barn to fields, fields to barn, and barn to house. He remembered how often he had cursed the brindle cow and the others, and how he had sometimes thrown milking stools. But now, each cow seemed to have a halo of happiness around her head. He would have given up all the brass buttons on the continent to be able to return to them. He told himself he was not made to be a soldier. He thought seriously about how different he was from the men darting like imps around the fires.

As he mused thus he heard the rustle of grass, and, upon turning his head, discovered the loud soldier. He called out, “Oh, Wilson!”

As he thought about this, he heard grass rustling. He turned his head and saw the loud soldier. He called out, “Oh, Wilson!”

The latter approached and looked down. “Why, hello, Henry; is it you? What are you doing here?”

The other man came over and looked down. “Oh, hello, Henry. Is that you? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, thinking,” said the youth.

“Oh, just thinking,” said the young man.

The other sat down and carefully lighted his pipe. “You’re getting blue my boy. You’re looking thundering peek-ed. What the dickens is wrong with you?”

The other man sat down and carefully lit his pipe. “You’re getting down, my boy. You look terribly pale. What on earth is wrong with you?”

“Oh, nothing,” said the youth.

“Oh, nothing,” said the young man.

The loud soldier launched then into the subject of the anticipated fight. “Oh, we’ve got ’em now!” As he spoke his boyish face was wreathed in a gleeful smile, and his voice had an exultant ring. “We’ve got ’em now. At last, by the eternal thunders, we’ll lick ’em good!”

The loud soldier then began talking about the coming battle. “Oh, we’ve got them now!” His boyish face broke into a delighted smile, and his voice rang with excitement. “We’ve got them now. At last, by thunder, we’ll beat them good!”

“If the truth was known,” he added, more soberly, “they’ve licked us about every clip up to now; but this time—this time—we’ll lick ’em good!”

“If the truth were known,” he added, more seriously, “they’ve beaten us almost every time so far. But this time, this time, we’ll beat them good!”

“I thought you was objecting to this march a little while ago,” said the youth coldly.

“I thought you were against this march a little while ago,” the young man said coldly.

“Oh, it wasn’t that,” explained the other. “I don’t mind marching, if there’s going to be fighting at the end of it. What I hate is this getting moved here and moved there, with no good coming of it, as far as I can see, excepting sore feet and damned short rations.”

“Oh, it wasn’t that,” the other man explained. “I don’t mind marching if there’s going to be a fight at the end. What I hate is being moved here and there for no good reason, as far as I can see. All we get from it is sore feet and damned small rations.”

“Well, Jim Conklin says we’ll get plenty of fighting this time.”

“Well, Jim Conklin says we’ll get plenty of fighting this time.”

“He’s right for once, I guess, though I can’t see how it come. This time we’re in for a big battle, and we’ve got the best end of it, certain sure. Gee rod! how we will thump ’em!”

“He’s right for once, I guess, though I can’t see how that happened. This time we’re in for a big battle, and we’ve definitely got the advantage. Wow! We’re really going to beat them!”

He arose and began to pace to and fro excitedly. The thrill of his enthusiasm made him walk with an elastic step. He was sprightly, vigorous, fiery in his belief in success. He looked into the future with clear proud eye, and he swore with the air of an old soldier.

He got up and began pacing back and forth excitedly. His enthusiasm put a spring in his step. He was lively and energetic, with a fiery belief in success. He looked to the future with a clear, proud gaze, and he swore like an old soldier.

The youth watched him for a moment in silence. When he finally spoke his voice was as bitter as dregs. “Oh, you’re going to do great things, I s’pose!”

The young man watched him silently for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was bitter as dregs. “Oh, you’re going to do great things, I suppose!”

The loud soldier blew a thoughtful cloud of smoke from his pipe. “Oh, I don’t know,” he remarked with dignity; “I don’t know. I s’pose I’ll do as well as the rest. I’m going to try like thunder.” He evidently complimented himself upon the modesty of this statement.

The loud soldier thoughtfully blew a cloud of smoke from his pipe. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said with dignity. “I don’t know. I suppose I’ll do as well as the rest. I’m going to try as hard as I can.” He was clearly pleased with how modest that statement was.

“How do you know you won’t run when the time comes?” asked the youth.

“How do you know you won’t run when the time comes?” asked the young man.

“Run?” said the loud one; “run?—of course not!” He laughed.

“Run?” said the loud one. “Run? Of course not!” He laughed.

“Well,” continued the youth, “lots of good-a-’nough men have thought they was going to do great things before the fight, but when the time come they skedaddled.”

“Well,” the young man continued, “lots of decent men have thought they would do great things in battle. But when the time came, they ran away.”

“Oh, that’s all true, I s’pose,” replied the other; “but I’m not going to skedaddle. The man that bets on my running will lose his money, that’s all.” He nodded confidently.

“Oh, I suppose that’s all true,” the other replied. “But I’m not going to run away. Anyone who bets I’ll run will lose their money, that’s all.” He nodded confidently.

“Oh, shucks!” said the youth. “You ain’t the bravest man in the world, are you?”

“Oh, come on!” said the young man. “You’re not the bravest man in the world, are you?”

“No, I ain’t,” exclaimed the loud soldier indignantly; “and I didn’t say I was the bravest man in the world, neither. I said I was going to do my share of fighting—that’s what I said. And I am, too. Who are you, anyhow? You talk as if you thought you was Napoleon Bonaparte.” He glared at the youth for a moment, and then strode away.

“No, I’m not!” the loud soldier exclaimed indignantly. “And I didn’t say I was the bravest man in the world, either. I said I was going to do my share of fighting. That’s what I said. And I will, too. Who are you, anyway? You talk as if you think you’re Napoleon Bonaparte.” He glared at the young man for a moment, then strode away.

The youth called in a savage voice after his comrade: “Well, you needn’t git mad about it!” But the other continued on his way and made no reply.

The young man called angrily after his companion: “Well, you don’t have to get mad about it!” But his companion kept walking and did not reply.

He felt alone in space when his injured comrade had disappeared. His failure to discover any mite of resemblance in their viewpoints made him more miserable than before. No one seemed to be wrestling with such a terrific personal problem. He was a mental outcast.

When his injured comrade disappeared, he felt alone in space. He could not find the slightest similarity between their views, and that made him even more miserable. No one else seemed to be struggling with such a terrible personal problem. He was an outcast in his own mind.

He went slowly to his tent and stretched himself on a blanket by the side of the snoring tall soldier. In the darkness he saw visions of a thousand-tongued fear that would babble at his back and cause him to flee, while others were going coolly about their country’s business. He admitted that he would not be able to cope with this monster. He felt that every nerve in his body would be an ear to hear the voices, while other men would remain stolid and deaf.

He walked slowly to his tent and stretched out on a blanket beside the tall soldier, who was snoring. In the darkness, he imagined a fear with a thousand tongues babbling behind him and driving him to flee. Meanwhile, others would calmly go about their country’s business. He admitted that he could not stand up to this monster. He felt that every nerve in his body would become an ear, listening to the voices. Other men, however, would remain steady and deaf to them.

And as he sweated with the pain of these thoughts, he could hear low, serene sentences. “I’ll bid five.” “Make it six.” “Seven.” “Seven goes.”

And as he sweated from the pain of these thoughts, he could hear quiet, calm voices. “I’ll bid five.” “Make it six.” “Seven.” “Seven goes.”

He stared at the red, shivering reflection of a fire on the white wall of his tent until, exhausted and ill from the monotony of his suffering, he fell asleep.

He stared at the fire’s flickering red reflection on the white wall of his tent. Worn out and sick from his constant suffering, he fell asleep.