The Fight With Irus. Ulysses Warns Amphinomus. Penelope Receives Gifts From the Suitors. The Braziers. Ulysses Scolds Eurymachus.

Now there came a certain common tramp who used to go begging all over the city of Ithaca, and was notorious as an incorrigible glutton and drunkard. This man had no strength nor stay in him, but he was a great hulking fellow to look at; his real name, the one his mother gave him, was Arnaeus, but the young men of the place called him Irus,¹⁴⁸ because he used to run errands for any one who would send him. As soon as he came he began to insult Ulysses, and to try and drive him out of his own house.

Now a common tramp arrived who begged all over the city of Ithaca. He was notorious for his uncontrollable gluttony and drunkenness. He had no strength or stamina, but he looked big and burly. His real name, given to him by his mother, was Arnaeus. But the local young men called him Irus,¹⁴⁸ because he ran errands for anyone who would send him. As soon as he arrived, he began insulting Ulysses and trying to drive him out of Ulysses’ own house.

“Be off, old man,” he cried, “from the doorway, or you shall be dragged out neck and heels. Do you not see that they are all giving me the wink, and wanting me to turn you out by force, only I do not like to do so? Get up then, and go of yourself, or we shall come to blows.”

“Get out of the doorway, old man,” he shouted, “or you’ll be dragged out by your neck and heels. Can’t you see they’re all winking at me, wanting me to throw you out by force? But I don’t want to do it. So get up and leave on your own, or we’ll come to blows.”

Ulysses frowned on him and said, “My friend, I do you no manner of harm; people give you a great deal, but I am not jealous. There is room enough in this doorway for the pair of us, and you need not grudge me things that are not yours to give. You seem to be just such another tramp as myself, but perhaps the gods will give us better luck by and by. Do not, however, talk too much about fighting or you will incense me, and old though I am, I shall cover your mouth and chest with blood. I shall have more peace tomorrow if I do, for you will not come to the house of Ulysses any more.”

Ulysses frowned at him and said, “My friend, I’m not harming you in any way. People give you plenty, but I’m not jealous. There’s enough room in this doorway for both of us. And you shouldn’t resent me getting things that aren’t yours to give. You seem to be a tramp just like me, but perhaps the gods will give us better luck later. Still, don’t talk too much about fighting, or you’ll make me furious. Though I’m old, I’ll cover your mouth and chest with blood. If I do, I’ll have more peace tomorrow, because you won’t come to the house of Ulysses anymore.”

Irus was very angry and answered, “You filthy glutton, you run on trippingly like an old fish-fag. I have a good mind to lay both hands about you, and knock your teeth out of your head like so many boar’s tusks. Get ready, therefore, and let these people here stand by and look on. You will never be able to fight one who is so much younger than yourself.”

Irus was very angry and answered, “You filthy glutton, you chatter on like an old fishwife. I feel like hitting you with both hands and knocking your teeth out like so many boar’s tusks. So get ready, and let these people stand here and watch. You’ll never be able to fight someone so much younger than you.”

Thus roundly did they rate one another on the smooth pavement in front of the doorway,¹⁴⁹ and when Antinous saw what was going on he laughed heartily and said to the others, “This is the finest sport that you ever saw; heaven never yet sent anything like it into this house. The stranger and Irus have quarreled and are going to fight, let us set them on to do so at once.”

They traded harsh insults on the smooth pavement in front of the doorway,¹⁴⁹ and Antinous saw what was happening. He laughed heartily and said to the others, “This is the best entertainment you’ve ever seen. Heaven has never sent anything like it into this house. The stranger and Irus have quarreled and are going to fight. Let’s urge them to start right away.”

The suitors all came up laughing, and gathered round the two ragged tramps. “Listen to me,” said Antinous, “there are some goats’ paunches down at the fire, which we have filled with blood and fat, and set aside for supper; he who is victorious and proves himself to be the better man shall have his pick of the lot; he shall be free of our table and we will not allow any other beggar about the house at all.”

All the suitors came up laughing and gathered around the two ragged beggars. “Listen to me,” said Antinous. “There are some goats’ stomachs by the fire. We have filled them with blood and fat and set them aside for supper. Whoever wins and proves himself the better man can take his pick. He will be welcome at our table, and we will not allow any other beggar in the house at all.”

The others all agreed, but Ulysses, to throw them off the scent, said, “Sirs, an old man like myself, worn out with suffering, cannot hold his own against a young one; but my irrepressible belly urges me on, though I know it can only end in my getting a drubbing. You must swear, however that none of you will give me a foul blow to favour Irus and secure him the victory.”

The others all agreed, but Ulysses said, to keep them from suspecting him, “Gentlemen, I’m an old man, worn out by suffering. I can’t hold my own against a young man. But my relentless hunger drives me on, though I know I’ll only end up getting beaten. Still, you must swear that none of you will strike me unfairly to help Irus win.”

They swore as he told them, and when they had completed their oath Telemachus put in a word and said, “Stranger, if you have a mind to settle with this fellow, you need not be afraid of any one here. Whoever strikes you will have to fight more than one. I am host, and the other chiefs, Antinous and Eurymachus, both of them men of understanding, are of the same mind as I am.”

They swore as he told them to. When they had finished their oath, Telemachus spoke up and said, “Stranger, if you want to settle things with this fellow, you need not fear anyone here. Whoever hits you will have to fight more than one person. I am the host, and the other chiefs, Antinous and Eurymachus, agree with me. Both are sensible men.”

Every one assented, and Ulysses girded his old rags about his loins, thus baring his stalwart thighs, his broad chest and shoulders, and his mighty arms; but Minerva came up to him and made his limbs even stronger still. The suitors were beyond measure astonished, and one would turn towards his neighbour saying, “The stranger has brought such a thigh out of his old rags that there will soon be nothing left of Irus.”

Everyone agreed, and Ulysses tied his old rags around his waist. He bared his powerful thighs, his broad chest and shoulders, and his mighty arms. But Minerva came up to him and made his limbs even stronger. The suitors were utterly astonished, and they turned to their neighbors, saying, “The stranger has revealed such a powerful thigh beneath his old rags. There will soon be nothing left of Irus.”

Irus began to be very uneasy as he heard them, but the servants girded him by force, and brought him [into the open part of the court] in such a fright that his limbs were all of a tremble. Antinous scolded him and said, “You swaggering bully, you ought never to have been born at all if you are afraid of such an old broken down creature as this tramp is. I say, therefore—and it shall surely be—if he beats you and proves himself the better man, I shall pack you off on board ship to the mainland and send you to king Echetus, who kills every one that comes near him. He will cut off your nose and ears, and draw out your entrails for the dogs to eat.”

Irus grew very uneasy as he listened to them. But the servants forced a belt around him and brought him [into the open part of the court]. He was so frightened that all his limbs were trembling. Antinous scolded him and said, “You swaggering bully, you should never have been born at all. How can you be afraid of an old, broken-down tramp like this? So I tell you, if he beats you and proves himself the better man, I will send you away. I will put you aboard a ship to the mainland and send you to king Echetus. I promise you that. Echetus kills everyone who comes near him. He will cut off your nose and ears and pull out your guts for the dogs to eat.”

This frightened Irus still more, but they brought him into the middle of the court, and the two men raised their hands to fight. Then Ulysses considered whether he should let drive so hard at him as to make an end of him then and there, or whether he should give him a lighter blow that should only knock him down; in the end he deemed it best to give the lighter blow for fear the Achaeans should begin to suspect who he was. Then they began to fight, and Irus hit Ulysses on the right shoulder; but Ulysses gave Irus a blow on the neck under the ear that broke in the bones of his skull, and the blood came gushing out of his mouth; he fell groaning in the dust, gnashing his teeth and kicking on the ground, but the suitors threw up their hands and nearly died of laughter, as Ulysses caught hold of him by the foot and dragged him into the outer court as far as the gate-house. There he propped him up against the wall and put his staff in his hands. “Sit here,” said he, “and keep the dogs and pigs off; you are a pitiful creature, and if you try to make yourself king of the beggars any more you shall fare still worse.”

This frightened Irus even more, but they brought him into the middle of the courtyard. The two men raised their hands to fight. Ulysses considered whether to hit Irus hard enough to kill him on the spot or just knock him down. In the end, he chose the lighter blow, fearing the Achaeans might begin to suspect who he was. Then the fight began, and Irus hit Ulysses on the right shoulder. But Ulysses struck Irus on the neck below the ear, crushing the bones of his skull. Blood gushed from Irus’s mouth. He fell groaning in the dust, grinding his teeth and kicking on the ground. But the suitors threw up their hands and nearly died laughing as Ulysses grabbed Irus by the foot. Ulysses dragged him into the outer courtyard, as far as the gatehouse. There he propped Irus against the wall and put his staff in his hands. “Sit here,” he said, “and keep the dogs and pigs away. You are a pathetic creature. If you try to make yourself king of the beggars again, you will suffer even worse.”

Then he threw his dirty old wallet, all tattered and torn over his shoulder with the cord by which it hung, and went back to sit down upon the threshold; but the suitors went within the cloisters, laughing and saluting him, “May Jove, and all the other gods,” said they, “grant you whatever you want for having put an end to the importunity of this insatiable tramp. We will take him over to the mainland presently, to king Echetus, who kills every one that comes near him.”

Then he slung his dirty old bag, tattered and torn, over his shoulder by its cord. He went back and sat on the threshold. But the suitors went into the covered walkways, laughing and greeting him. “May Jove and all the other gods grant you whatever you want,” they said. “You have put an end to this greedy tramp’s constant pestering. We will soon take him to the mainland, to king Echetus, who kills everyone who comes near him.”

Ulysses hailed this as of good omen, and Antinous set a great goat’s paunch before him filled with blood and fat. Amphinomus took two loaves out of the bread-basket and brought them to him, pledging him as he did so in a golden goblet of wine. “Good luck to you,” he said, “father stranger, you are very badly off at present, but I hope you will have better times by and by.”

Ulysses welcomed this as a good sign. Antinous placed a large goat’s stomach filled with blood and fat before him. Amphinomus took two loaves from the bread basket and brought them to Ulysses. As he did so, he toasted Ulysses with a golden goblet of wine. “Good luck to you,” he said, “my elderly guest. You are very badly off now, but I hope better times will come your way.”

To this Ulysses answered, “Amphinomus, you seem to be a man of good understanding, as indeed you may well be, seeing whose son you are. I have heard your father well spoken of; he is Nisus of Dulichium, a man both brave and wealthy. They tell me you are his son, and you appear to be a considerable person; listen, therefore, and take heed to what I am saying. Man is the vainest of all creatures that have their being upon earth. As long as heaven vouchsafes him health and strength, he thinks that he shall come to no harm hereafter, and even when the blessed gods bring sorrow upon him, he bears it as he needs must, and makes the best of it; for God almighty gives men their daily minds day by day. I know all about it, for I was a rich man once, and did much wrong in the stubbornness of my pride, and in the confidence that my father and my brothers would support me; therefore let a man fear God in all things always, and take the good that heaven may see fit to send him without vain glory. Consider the infamy of what these suitors are doing; see how they are wasting the estate, and doing dishonour to the wife, of one who is certain to return some day, and that, too, not long hence. Nay, he will be here soon; may heaven send you home quietly first that you may not meet with him in the day of his coming, for once he is here the suitors and he will not part bloodlessly.”

Ulysses answered, “Amphinomus, you seem to be a sensible man, as you may well be, given who your father is. I have heard people speak well of your father, Nisus of Dulichium, a brave and wealthy man. People tell me you are his son, and you seem to be a man of some standing. So listen carefully to what I say. Of all creatures living on earth, human beings are the most vain. As long as heaven grants a man health and strength, he thinks no harm will ever come to him. Even when the blessed gods bring him sorrow, he endures it because he must, and makes the best of it. For God almighty gives people their state of mind anew each day. I know all about such things, for I was once rich myself. I did much wrong out of stubborn pride, confident that my father and brothers would support me. So let everyone always fear God in everything. Let everyone accept whatever good heaven chooses to send, without boasting. “Consider how shamefully these suitors are behaving. Look at how they waste the estate and dishonor the wife of a man who will certainly return someday. And his return is not far off. In fact, he will be here soon. May heaven send you safely home first, so you do not meet him on the day he returns. For once he is here, he and the suitors will not part without bloodshed.”

With these words he made a drink-offering, and when he had drunk he put the gold cup again into the hands of Amphinomus, who walked away serious and bowing his head, for he foreboded evil. But even so he did not escape destruction, for Minerva had doomed him to fall by the hand of Telemachus. So he took his seat again at the place from which he had come.

With these words, he poured a drink-offering. After drinking, he handed the gold cup back to Amphinomus. Amphinomus walked away looking serious, his head bowed, because he sensed that evil was coming. But even so, he did not escape destruction, because Minerva had doomed him to die at Telemachus’s hands. So Amphinomus returned to the seat he had left.

Then Minerva put it into the mind of Penelope to show herself to the suitors, that she might make them still more enamoured of her, and win still further honour from her son and husband. So she feigned a mocking laugh and said, “Eurynome, I have changed my mind, and have a fancy to show myself to the suitors although I detest them. I should like also to give my son a hint that he had better not have anything more to do with them. They speak fairly enough but they mean mischief.”

Then Minerva gave Penelope the idea of appearing before the suitors, so she might make them love her even more. She might also gain still greater honor from her son and husband. So she forced a mocking laugh and said, “Eurynome, I have changed my mind. I feel like appearing before the suitors, although I hate them. I would also like to hint to my son that he should have nothing more to do with them. The suitors speak pleasantly enough, but they mean harm.”

“My dear child,” answered Eurynome, “all that you have said is true, go and tell your son about it, but first wash yourself and anoint your face. Do not go about with your cheeks all covered with tears; it is not right that you should grieve so incessantly; for Telemachus, whom you always prayed that you might live to see with a beard, is already grown up.”

“My dear child,” Eurynome replied, “all you have said is true. Go and tell your son about it, but first wash yourself and put oil on your face. Do not walk around with your cheeks covered in tears. You should not grieve so constantly, because Telemachus is already grown up. You always prayed you would live to see him with a beard.”

“I know, Eurynome,” replied Penelope, “that you mean well, but do not try and persuade me to wash and to anoint myself, for heaven robbed me of all my beauty on the day my husband sailed; nevertheless, tell Autonoe and Hippodamia that I want them. They must be with me when I am in the cloister; I am not going among the men alone; it would not be proper for me to do so.”

“I know you mean well, Eurynome,” Penelope replied, “but don't try to persuade me to wash and put on oils. Heaven took away all my beauty the day my husband sailed. Still, tell Autonoe and Hippodamia I want them to come. They must be with me when I am in the covered courtyard. I won't go among the men alone. Going alone would not be proper.”

On this the old woman¹⁵⁰ went out of the room to bid the maids go to their mistress. In the meantime Minerva bethought her of another matter, and sent Penelope off into a sweet slumber; so she lay down on her couch and her limbs became heavy with sleep. Then the goddess shed grace and beauty over her that all the Achaeans might admire her. She washed her face with the ambrosial loveliness that Venus wears when she goes dancing with the Graces; she made her taller and of a more commanding figure, while as for her complexion it was whiter than sawn ivory. When Minerva had done all this she went away, whereon the maids came in from the women’s room and woke Penelope with the sound of their talking.

Then the old woman¹⁵⁰ left the room to tell the maids to go to their mistress. Meanwhile, Minerva thought of something else and sent Penelope into a sweet sleep. So Penelope lay down on her couch, and her limbs grew heavy with sleep. Then the goddess gave her grace and beauty so that all the Achaeans would admire her. She washed Penelope’s face with the ambrosial beauty Venus wears when she goes dancing with the Graces. She made Penelope taller and more commanding in appearance, and her complexion whiter than sawn ivory. When Minerva had done all this, she left. Then the maids came in from the women’s room, and the sound of their talking woke Penelope.

“What an exquisitely delicious sleep I have been having,” said she, as she passed her hands over her face, “in spite of all my misery. I wish Diana would let me die so sweetly now at this very moment, that I might no longer waste in despair for the loss of my dear husband, who possessed every kind of good quality and was the most distinguished man among the Achaeans.”

“What a wonderfully restful sleep I’ve had,” she said, running her hands over her face, “despite all my misery. I wish Diana would let me die just as peacefully, right now. Then I would no longer waste away in despair over the loss of my dear husband. He had every good quality and was the most distinguished man among the Achaeans.”

With these words she came down from her upper room, not alone but attended by two of her maidens, and when she reached the suitors she stood by one of the bearing-posts supporting the roof of the cloister, holding a veil before her face, and with a staid maid servant on either side of her. As they beheld her the suitors were so overpowered and became so desperately enamoured of her, that each one prayed he might win her for his own bed fellow.

With these words, she came down from her upstairs room, accompanied by two of her maids. When she reached the suitors, she stood beside one of the posts supporting the roof of the covered walkway. She held a veil in front of her face, with a serious maid standing on either side. The sight of her so overwhelmed the suitors and filled them with such desperate desire that each prayed to share her bed.

“Telemachus,” said she, addressing her son, “I fear you are no longer so discreet and well conducted as you used to be. When you were younger you had a greater sense of propriety; now, however, that you are grown up, though a stranger to look at you would take you for the son of a well to do father as far as size and good looks go, your conduct is by no means what it should be. What is all this disturbance that has been going on, and how came you to allow a stranger to be so disgracefully ill-treated? What would have happened if he had suffered serious injury while a suppliant in our house? Surely this would have been very discreditable to you.”

“Telemachus,” she said to her son, “I fear you are no longer as sensible and well behaved as you once were. When you were younger, you had a better sense of how to behave. But now you are grown up, and your behavior is far from what it should be. Yet a stranger, judging by your height and good looks, would take you for the son of a wealthy father. What is all this commotion, and how could you let a stranger be treated so shamefully? What if he had been seriously injured while seeking protection in our house? Surely that would have brought great shame on you.”

“I am not surprised, my dear mother, at your displeasure,” replied Telemachus, “I understand all about it and know when things are not as they should be, which I could not do when I was younger; I cannot, however, behave with perfect propriety at all times. First one and then another of these wicked people here keeps driving me out of my mind, and I have no one to stand by me. After all, however, this fight between Irus and the stranger did not turn out as the suitors meant it to do, for the stranger got the best of it. I wish Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo would break the neck of every one of these wooers of yours, some inside the house and some out; and I wish they might all be as limp as Irus is over yonder in the gate of the outer court. See how he nods his head like a drunken man; he has had such a thrashing that he cannot stand on his feet nor get back to his home, wherever that may be, for he has no strength left in him.”

“I’m not surprised you’re upset, my dear mother,” Telemachus replied. “I understand the situation completely and can tell when things are wrong. I couldn’t do that when I was younger. Still, I can’t always behave as I should. One after another, these wicked people here keep driving me out of my mind. And I have no one to stand by me. Even so, the fight between Irus and the stranger didn’t turn out as the suitors intended. The stranger won. I wish Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo would break the neck of every one of your suitors. Some are inside the house and some outside. I wish all of them were as limp as Irus over there by the gate of the outer courtyard. Look at his head drooping like a drunk man’s. He has taken such a beating that he can’t stand or get back home, wherever his home may be. He has no strength left.”

Thus did they converse. Eurymachus then came up and said, “Queen Penelope, daughter of Icarius, if all the Achaeans in Iasian Argos could see you at this moment, you would have still more suitors in your house by tomorrow morning, for you are the most admirable woman in the whole world both as regards personal beauty and strength of understanding.”

They continued their conversation. Then Eurymachus came up and said, “Queen Penelope, daughter of Icarius, imagine if all the Achaeans in Iasian Argos could see you now. You would have even more suitors in your house by tomorrow morning. For you are the most admirable woman in the whole world, both in beauty and intelligence.”

To this Penelope replied, “Eurymachus, heaven robbed me of all my beauty whether of face or figure when the Argives set sail for Troy and my dear husband with them. If he were to return and look after my affairs, I should both be more respected and show a better presence to the world. As it is, I am oppressed with care, and with the afflictions which heaven has seen fit to heap upon me. My husband foresaw it all, and when he was leaving home he took my right wrist in his hand—‘Wife,’ he said, ‘we shall not all of us come safe home from Troy, for the Trojans fight well both with bow and spear. They are excellent also at fighting from chariots, and nothing decides the issue of a fight sooner than this. I know not, therefore, whether heaven will send me back to you, or whether I may not fall over there at Troy. In the meantime do you look after things here. Take care of my father and mother as at present, and even more so during my absence, but when you see our son growing a beard, then marry whom you will, and leave this your present home.’ This is what he said and now it is all coming true. A night will come when I shall have to yield myself to a marriage which I detest, for Jove has taken from me all hope of happiness. This further grief, moreover, cuts me to the very heart. You suitors are not wooing me after the custom of my country. When men are courting a woman who they think will be a good wife to them and who is of noble birth, and when they are each trying to win her for himself, they usually bring oxen and sheep to feast the friends of the lady, and they make her magnificent presents, instead of eating up other people’s property without paying for it.”

Penelope replied, “Eurymachus, heaven robbed me of all my beauty, both in face and figure, when the Argives sailed for Troy. My dear husband sailed with them. If he returned and managed my affairs, I would be more respected and make a better impression on the world. As things stand, I am weighed down by worry and all the suffering heaven has chosen to heap upon me. My husband foresaw everything. When he left home, he took my right wrist in his hand. ‘Wife,’ he said, ‘not all of us will return safely from Troy. The Trojans fight well with both bow and spear. They are also excellent at fighting from chariots, and nothing settles a battle faster than chariot fighting. So I do not know whether heaven will send me home to you or whether I may fall at Troy. Meanwhile, look after things here. Care for my father and mother as you do now, and even more while I am away. But when you see our son growing a beard, marry whomever you wish and leave this home.’ “That is what he said, and now it is all coming true. A night will come when I must give myself to a marriage I hate. For Jove has taken away all my hope of happiness. And another sorrow cuts me to the heart. You suitors are not courting me according to my country’s customs. When men compete to win a noblewoman they believe will make a good wife, they usually bring oxen and sheep. These animals provide a feast for the woman’s friends. The suitors also give her magnificent gifts, instead of consuming other people’s property without paying for it.”

This was what she said, and Ulysses was glad when he heard her trying to get presents out of the suitors, and flattering them with fair words which he knew she did not mean.

She said this, and Ulysses was glad to hear her trying to get gifts from the suitors. She flattered them with kind words, but he knew she did not mean them.

Then Antinous said, “Queen Penelope, daughter of Icarius, take as many presents as you please from any one who will give them to you; it is not well to refuse a present; but we will not go about our business nor stir from where we are, till you have married the best man among us whoever he may be.”

Then Antinous said, “Queen Penelope, daughter of Icarius, accept as many gifts as you like from anyone willing to give them. Refusing a gift is not right. But we will not return to our business or leave this place until you marry the best man among us. Whoever he may be, you must marry him before we leave.”

The others applauded what Antinous had said, and each one sent his servant to bring his present. Antinous’s man returned with a large and lovely dress most exquisitely embroidered. It had twelve beautifully made brooch pins of pure gold with which to fasten it. Eurymachus immediately brought her a magnificent chain of gold and amber beads that gleamed like sunlight. Eurydamas’s two men returned with some earrings fashioned into three brilliant pendants which glistened most beautifully; while king Pisander son of Polyctor gave her a necklace of the rarest workmanship, and every one else brought her a beautiful present of some kind.

The others applauded what Antinous had said, and each sent his servant to fetch his gift. Antinous’s servant returned with a large, lovely dress decorated with exquisite embroidery. The dress had twelve beautifully crafted brooch pins of pure gold to fasten it. Eurymachus immediately brought her a magnificent chain of gold and amber beads that shone like sunlight. Eurydamas’s two servants returned with earrings shaped into three brilliant pendants that sparkled beautifully. King Pisander, son of Polyctor, gave her a necklace of exceptionally fine craftsmanship. Everyone else brought her a beautiful gift of some kind.

Then the queen went back to her room upstairs, and her maids brought the presents after her. Meanwhile the suitors took to singing and dancing, and stayed till evening came. They danced and sang till it grew dark; they then brought in three braziers¹⁵¹ to give light, and piled them up with chopped firewood very old and dry, and they lit torches from them, which the maids held up turn and turn about. Then Ulysses said:

Then the queen returned to her room upstairs, and her maids followed with the presents. Meanwhile, the suitors began singing and dancing and stayed until evening. They danced and sang until dark. Then they brought in three braziers¹⁵¹ for light and filled them with very old, dry, chopped firewood. They lit torches from the braziers, and the maids took turns holding the torches up. Then Ulysses said:

“Maids, servants of Ulysses who has so long been absent, go to the queen inside the house; sit with her and amuse her, or spin, and pick wool. I will hold the light for all these people. They may stay till morning, but shall not beat me, for I can stand a great deal.”

“Maids, you serve Ulysses, who has been away so long. Go inside the house to the queen. Sit with her and entertain her, or spin and sort wool. I will hold the light for all these people. They may stay until morning, but they will not outlast me, because I can endure a great deal.”

The maids looked at one another and laughed, while pretty Melantho began to gibe at him contemptuously. She was daughter to Dolius, but had been brought up by Penelope, who used to give her toys to play with, and looked after her when she was a child; but in spite of all this she showed no consideration for the sorrows of her mistress, and used to misconduct herself with Eurymachus, with whom she was in love.

The maids looked at one another and laughed, while pretty Melantho began to mock him with contempt. Melantho was Dolius’s daughter, but Penelope had raised her. Penelope used to give her toys and care for her when she was a child. But despite all this care, Melantho showed no concern for her mistress’s sorrows. She also used to sleep with Eurymachus, with whom she was in love.

“Poor wretch,” said she, “are you gone clean out of your mind? Go and sleep in some smithy, or place of public gossips, instead of chattering here. Are you not ashamed of opening your mouth before your betters—so many of them too? Has the wine been getting into your head, or do you always babble in this way? You seem to have lost your wits because you beat the tramp Irus; take care that a better man than he does not come and cudgel you about the head till he pack you bleeding out of the house.”

“You poor fool,” she said, “have you completely lost your mind? Go sleep in a blacksmith’s shop or somewhere people gather to gossip, instead of chattering here. Aren’t you ashamed to speak in front of your betters, especially so many of them? Has the wine gone to your head, or do you always babble like this? You seem to have lost your senses because you beat that tramp Irus. Watch out, or a better man than Irus may beat you over the head and send you bleeding from the house.”

“Vixen,” replied Ulysses, scowling at her, “I will go and tell Telemachus what you have been saying, and he will have you torn limb from limb.”

“You vicious woman,” Ulysses replied, scowling at her. “I'll go and tell Telemachus what you've been saying. And he'll have you torn limb from limb.”

With these words he scared the women, and they went off into the body of the house. They trembled all over, for they thought he would do as he said. But Ulysses took his stand near the burning braziers, holding up torches and looking at the people—brooding the while on things that should surely come to pass.

His words frightened the women, and they went deeper into the house. They trembled all over because they thought he would do what he had threatened. But Ulysses stood near the burning braziers, holding up torches and watching the people. As he watched, he brooded over what was sure to happen.

But Minerva would not let the suitors for one moment cease their insolence, for she wanted Ulysses to become even more bitter against them; she therefore set Eurymachus son of Polybus on to gibe at him, which made the others laugh. “Listen to me,” said he, “you suitors of Queen Penelope, that I may speak even as I am minded. It is not for nothing that this man has come to the house of Ulysses; I believe the light has not been coming from the torches, but from his own head—for his hair is all gone, every bit of it.”

But Minerva would not let the suitors stop their insolence for even a moment. She wanted Ulysses to grow even more bitter toward them. So she urged Eurymachus son of Polybus to mock him, making the others laugh. “Listen to me,” he said, “you suitors of Queen Penelope, and let me tell you what I think. This man has not come to the house of Ulysses for nothing. I believe the light has been coming not from the torches, but from his own head. He has lost all his hair, every bit of it.”

Then turning to Ulysses he said, “Stranger, will you work as a servant, if I send you to the wolds and see that you are well paid? Can you build a stone fence, or plant trees? I will have you fed all the year round, and will find you in shoes and clothing. Will you go, then? Not you; for you have got into bad ways, and do not want to work; you had rather fill your belly by going round the country begging.”

Then he turned to Ulysses and said, “Stranger, will you work as a servant if I send you into the countryside and pay you well? Can you build a stone wall or plant trees? I will feed you all year round and provide shoes and clothes. Will you go, then? No, not you. You have fallen into bad habits and do not want to work. You would rather fill your belly by wandering around the country begging.”

“Eurymachus,” answered Ulysses, “if you and I were to work one against the other in early summer when the days are at their longest—give me a good scythe, and take another yourself, and let us see which will last the longer or mow the stronger, from dawn till dark when the mowing grass is about. Or if you will plough against me, let us each take a yoke of tawny oxen, well-mated and of great strength and endurance: turn me into a four acre field, and see whether you or I can drive the straighter furrow. If, again, war were to break out this day, give me a shield, a couple of spears and a helmet fitting well upon my temples—you would find me foremost in the fray, and would cease your gibes about my belly. You are insolent and cruel, and think yourself a great man because you live in a little world, and that a bad one. If Ulysses comes to his own again, the doors of his house are wide, but you will find them narrow when you try to fly through them.”

“Eurymachus,” Ulysses answered, “suppose you and I competed at work in early summer, when the days are longest. Give me a good scythe and take another yourself. Let us see who can last longer or mow harder, from dawn to dark, when the grass needs cutting. Or if you want to compete at ploughing, let us each take a pair of tawny oxen. Let them be well matched, strong, and tireless. Put me in a four-acre field, and see whether you or I can plough a straighter furrow. If war broke out today, give me a shield, two spears, and a helmet that fits snugly around my temples. You would find me at the front of the battle, and you would stop mocking my belly. You are arrogant and cruel. You think you are a great man because you live in a small world, and a bad one. If Ulysses regains what is his, the doors of his house are wide. But you will find those doors narrow when you try to flee through them.”

Eurymachus was furious at all this. He scowled at him and cried, “You wretch, I will soon pay you out for daring to say such things to me, and in public too. Has the wine been getting into your head or do you always babble in this way? You seem to have lost your wits because you beat the tramp Irus.” With this he caught hold of a footstool, but Ulysses sought protection at the knees of Amphinomus of Dulichium, for he was afraid. The stool hit the cupbearer on his right hand and knocked him down: the man fell with a cry flat on his back, and his wine-jug fell ringing to the ground. The suitors in the covered cloister were now in an uproar, and one would turn towards his neighbour, saying, “I wish the stranger had gone somewhere else, bad luck to him, for all the trouble he gives us. We cannot permit such disturbance about a beggar; if such ill counsels are to prevail we shall have no more pleasure at our banquet.”

Eurymachus was furious at all this. He scowled at Ulysses and shouted, “You wretch, I’ll soon make you pay for daring to speak to me like that, and in public too. Has the wine gone to your head, or do you always babble like this? You seem to have lost your mind because you beat the tramp Irus.” With these words, he grabbed a footstool. But Ulysses was afraid and sought protection at the knees of Amphinomus of Dulichium. The stool struck the cupbearer’s right hand and knocked him down. The man cried out and fell flat on his back, and his wine jug clattered to the ground. The suitors in the covered walkway were now in an uproar. They turned to their neighbors, saying, “I wish the stranger had gone somewhere else. A curse on him for all the trouble he causes us. We cannot allow such a disturbance over a beggar. If such bad judgment prevails, we’ll have no more enjoyment at our feast.”

On this Telemachus came forward and said, “Sirs, are you mad? Can you not carry your meat and your liquor decently? Some evil spirit has possessed you. I do not wish to drive any of you away, but you have had your suppers, and the sooner you all go home to bed the better.”

At this, Telemachus stepped forward and said, “Gentlemen, are you out of your minds? Can’t you behave decently when you eat and drink? Some evil spirit has possessed you. I don’t want to drive any of you away, but you’ve had your supper. The sooner you all go home to bed, the better.”

The suitors bit their lips and marvelled at the boldness of his speech; but Amphinomus the son of Nisus, who was son to Aretias, said, “Do not let us take offence; it is reasonable, so let us make no answer. Neither let us do violence to the stranger nor to any of Ulysses’ servants. Let the cupbearer go round with the drink-offerings, that we may make them and go home to our rest. As for the stranger, let us leave Telemachus to deal with him, for it is to his house that he has come.”

The suitors bit their lips, amazed at how boldly he spoke. But Amphinomus, son of Nisus and grandson of Aretias, said, “Let us not take offense. His words are reasonable, so let us not answer. Nor should we harm the stranger or any of Ulysses’ servants. Let the cupbearer bring the wine around so we can make our drink-offerings and go home to rest. As for the stranger, let us leave Telemachus to deal with him, since he has come to Telemachus’ house.”

Thus did he speak, and his saying pleased them well, so Mulius of Dulichium, servant to Amphinomus, mixed them a bowl of wine and water and handed it round to each of them man by man, whereon they made their drink-offerings to the blessed gods: Then, when they had made their drink-offerings and had drunk each one as he was minded, they took their several ways each of them to his own abode.

He finished speaking, and his words pleased them. So Mulius of Dulichium, Amphinomus’s servant, mixed a bowl of wine and water. He passed it around to each man in turn, and they poured offerings to the blessed gods. After making their offerings and drinking as much as each wished, they went their separate ways, each to his own home.