The Life of Diogenes

I. Diogenes was a native of Sinope, the son of Hicesius, a money-changer. And Diocles says that he was forced to flee from his native city, as his father kept the public bank there, and had adulterated the coinage. But Eubulides, in his essay on Diogenes, says, that it was Diogenes himself who did this, and that he was banished with his father. And, indeed, he himself, in his Pordalus, says of himself that he had adulterated the public money. Others say that he was one of the curators, and was persuaded by the artisans employed, and that he went to Delphi, or else to the oracle at Delos, and there consulted Apollo as to whether he should do what people were trying to persuade him to do; and that, as the God gave him permission to do so, Diogenes, not comprehending that the God meant that he might change the political customs⁵⁶ of his country if he could, adulterated the coinage; and being detected, was banished, as some people say, but as other accounts have it, took the alarm and fled away of his own accord. Some again, say that he adulterated the money which he had received from his father; and that his father was thrown into prison and died there; but that Diogenes escaped and went to Delphi, and asked, not whether he might tamper with the coinage, but what he could do to become very celebrated, and that in consequence he received the oracular answer which I have mentioned.

I. Diogenes came from Sinope and was the son of Hicesius, a money changer. Diocles says he was forced to flee his native city because his father ran the public bank there and had debased the coinage. But Eubulides, in his essay on Diogenes, says that Diogenes himself debased the coinage and was banished along with his father. Indeed, Diogenes himself says in his Pordalus that he debased the public coinage. Others say that Diogenes was one of the officials in charge and was persuaded by the artisans they employed. According to this account, he went to Delphi, or perhaps to the oracle at Delos. There he asked Apollo whether he should do what people were trying to persuade him to do. The god gave him permission, but Diogenes misunderstood him. The god meant that Diogenes could change the political customs⁵⁶ of his country if he could. Instead, Diogenes debased the coinage. When he was found out, he was banished, according to some. Other accounts say he became alarmed and fled of his own accord. Still others say that he debased the money he had received from his father. They say his father was thrown into prison and died there, but Diogenes escaped and went to Delphi. There he asked, not whether he might tamper with the coinage, but what he could do to become very famous. In response, he received the answer from the oracle that I have mentioned.

II. And when he came to Athens he attached himself to Antisthenes; but as he repelled him, because he admitted no one; he at last forced his way to him by his pertinacity. And once, when he raised his stick at him, he put his head under it, and said, “Strike, for you will not find any stick hard enough to drive me away as long as you continue to speak.” And from this time forth he was one of his pupils; and being an exile, he naturally betook himself to a simple mode of life.

II. When he came to Athens, he sought out Antisthenes. But Antisthenes turned him away because he accepted no pupils. In the end, his persistence won him a place. Once, when Antisthenes raised his stick against him, he put his head under it and said, “Strike. You will not find a stick hard enough to drive me away as long as you continue to speak.” From then on, he was one of Antisthenes’ pupils. As an exile, he naturally adopted a simple way of life.

III. And when, as Theophrastus tells us, in his Megaric Philosopher, he saw a mouse running about and not seeking for a bed, nor taking care to keep in the dark, nor looking for any of those things which appear enjoyable to such an animal, he found a remedy for his own poverty. He was, according to the account of some people, the first person who doubled up his cloak out of necessity, and who slept in it; and who carried a wallet, in which he kept his food; and who used whatever place was near for all sorts of purposes, eating, and sleeping, and conversing in it. In reference to which habit he used to say, pointing to the Colonnade of Jupiter, and to the Public Magazine, “that the Athenians had built him places to live in.” Being attacked with illness, he supported himself with a staff; and after that he carried it continually, not indeed in the city, but whenever he was walking in the roads, together with his wallet, as Olympiodorus, the chief man of the Athenians tells us; and Polyeuctus, the orator, and Lysanias, the son of Æschrion, tell the same story.

III. As Theophrastus tells us in his Megaric Philosopher, he once saw a mouse running about. It was not looking for a bed, or trying to stay in the dark, or seeking any of the things such an animal might enjoy. Seeing this, he found a remedy for his own poverty. According to some, he was the first person to double up his cloak out of necessity and sleep in it. He also carried a wallet for his food and used whatever place was nearby for all purposes, eating, sleeping, and conversing there. Referring to this habit, he would point to the Colonnade of Jupiter and the Public Magazine and say, “the Athenians had built him places to live in.” When he fell ill, he used a staff to support himself. After that, he always carried the staff, though not in the city, but whenever he walked along the roads. He carried his wallet too. Olympiodorus, the chief man of the Athenians, tells us this, as do Polyeuctus the orator and Lysanias, the son of Æschrion.

When he had written to some one to look out and get ready a small house for him, as he delayed to do it, he took a cask which he found in the Temple of Cybele, for his house, as he himself tells us in his letters. And during the summer he used to roll himself in the warm sand, but in winter he would embrace statues all covered with snow, practising himself, on every occasion, to endure anything.

He wrote to someone asking them to find and prepare a small house for him. When the person delayed, he made his home in a cask he found in the Temple of Cybele. He tells us this himself in his letters. In summer, he would roll in the warm sand, but in winter, he would embrace statues covered in snow. He took every opportunity to train himself to endure anything.

IV. He was very violent in expressing his haughty disdain of others. He said that the σχολὴ (school) of Euclides was χολὴ (gall). And he used to call Plato’s διατριβὴ (discussions) κατατριβὴ (disguise). It was also a saying of his that the Dionysian games were a great marvel to fools; and that the demagogues were the ministers of the multitude. He used likewise to say, “that when in the course of his life he beheld pilots, and physicians, and philosophers, he thought man the wisest of all animals; but when again he beheld interpreters of dreams, and soothsayers, and those who listened to them, and men puffed up with glory or riches, then he thought that there was not a more foolish animal than man.” Another of his sayings was, “that he thought a man ought oftener to provide himself with a reason than with a halter.” On one occasion, when he noticed Plato at a very costly entertainment tasting some olives, he said, “O you wise man! why, after having sailed to Sicily for the sake of such a feast, do you not now enjoy what you have before you?” And Plato replied, “By the Gods, Diogenes, while I was there I ate olives and all such things a great deal.” Diogenes rejoined, “What then did you want to sail to Syracuse for? Did not Attica at that time produce any olives?” But Phavorinus, in his Universal History, tells this story of Aristippus. At another time he was eating dried figs, when Plato met him, and he said to him, “You may have a share of these;” and as he took some and ate them, he said, “I said that you might have a share of them, not that you might eat them all.” On one occasion Plato had invited some friends who had come to him from Dionysius to a banquet, and Diogenes trampled on his carpets, and said, “Thus I trample on the empty pride of Plato;” and Plato made him answer, “How much arrogance are you displaying, O Diogenes! when you think that you are not arrogant at all.” But, as others tell the story, Diogenes said, “Thus I trample on the pride of Plato;” and that Plato rejoined, “With quite as much pride yourself, O Diogenes.” Sotion too, in his fourth book, states, that the Cynic made the following speech to Plato: Diogenes once asked him for some wine, and then for some dried figs; so he sent him an entire jar full; and Diogenes said to him, “Will you, if you are asked how many two and two make, answer twenty? In this way, you neither give with any reference to what you are asked for, nor do you answer with reference to the question put to you.” He used also to ridicule him as an interminable talker. When he was asked where in Greece he saw virtuous men; “Men,” said he, “nowhere; but I see good boys in Lacedæmon.” On one occasion, when no one came to listen to him while he was discoursing seriously, he began to whistle. And then when people flocked round him, he reproached them for coming with eagerness to folly, but being lazy and indifferent about good things. One of his frequent sayings was, “That men contended with one another in punching and kicking, but that no one showed any emulation in the pursuit of virtue.” He used to express his astonishment at the grammarians for being desirous to learn everything about the misfortunes of Ulysses, and being ignorant of their own. He used also to say, “That the musicians fitted the strings to the lyre properly, but left all the habits of their soul ill-arranged.” And, “That mathematicians kept their eyes fixed on the sun and moon, and overlooked what was under their feet.” “That orators were anxious to speak justly, but not at all about acting so.” Also, “That misers blamed money, but were preposterously fond of it.” He often condemned those who praise the just for being superior to money, but who at the same time are eager themselves for great riches. He was also very indignant at seeing men sacrifice to the Gods to procure good health, and yet at the sacrifice eating in a manner injurious to health. He often expressed his surprise at slaves, who, seeing their masters eating in a gluttonous manner, still do not themselves lay hands on any of the eatables. He would frequently praise those who were about to marry, and yet did not marry; or who were about to take a voyage, and yet did not take a voyage; or who were about to engage in affairs of state, and did not do so; and those who were about to rear children, yet did not rear any; and those who were preparing to take up their abode with princes, and yet did not take it up. One of his sayings was, “That one ought to hold out one’s hand to a friend without closing the fingers.”

IV. He expressed his proud contempt for others with great force. He said that the σχολὴ (school) of Euclides was χολὴ (gall). He also called Plato’s διατριβὴ (discussions) κατατριβὴ (disguise). He said that the Dionysian games were a great wonder to fools, and that demagogues were servants of the crowd. He also said, “When I see pilots, doctors, and philosophers, I think man is the wisest of all animals. But when I see interpreters of dreams, soothsayers, and those who listen to them, I change my mind. And when I see men puffed up with fame or wealth, I think no animal is more foolish than man.” Another of his sayings was, “A man should equip himself with reason more often than with a halter.” Once, at a very expensive feast, he noticed Plato tasting some olives. He said, “O wise man! You sailed to Sicily for a feast like this. Why don’t you enjoy what is now before you?” Plato replied, “By the Gods, Diogenes, while I was there I ate plenty of olives and things like them.” Diogenes answered, “Then why did you need to sail to Syracuse? Didn’t Attica produce any olives at the time?” But Phavorinus, in his Universal History, tells this story about Aristippus. Another time, Diogenes was eating dried figs when Plato met him. Diogenes said, “You may have a share of these.” When Plato took some and ate them, Diogenes said, “I said you could have a share, not eat them all.” Once Plato invited some friends who had come to him from Dionysius to a banquet. Diogenes trampled on Plato’s carpets and said, “This is how I trample on Plato’s empty pride.” Plato answered, “How much arrogance you show, Diogenes, when you think you aren’t arrogant at all!” But others tell the story differently. They say Diogenes said, “This is how I trample on Plato’s pride,” and Plato replied, “With just as much pride yourself, Diogenes.” Sotion also reports an exchange between the Cynic and Plato in his fourth book. Diogenes once asked Plato for some wine, and then for some dried figs. Plato sent him a whole jar full. Diogenes said to him, “If someone asks you how much two and two make, will you answer twenty? In the same way, you give without regard for what you’re asked for. And you answer without regard for the question.” He also mocked Plato for talking endlessly. When asked where in Greece he saw virtuous men, he said, “Men? Nowhere. But I see good boys in Lacedæmon.” Once, no one came to listen while he was speaking seriously, so he began to whistle. When people crowded around him, he scolded them. They eagerly came for nonsense, he said, but were lazy and indifferent about good things. He often said, “Men compete in punching and kicking, but no one competes in the pursuit of virtue.” He expressed amazement at grammarians who wanted to learn everything about the misfortunes of Ulysses but knew nothing of their own. He also said, “Musicians tune the strings of the lyre properly, but leave the habits of their souls in disorder.” He said, “Mathematicians keep their eyes fixed on the sun and moon, but overlook what is under their feet.” He said, “Orators are anxious to speak justly, but not at all concerned with acting justly.” He also said, “Misers blame money, but are absurdly fond of it.” He often condemned people who praised the just for being above the lure of money, yet eagerly sought great riches themselves. He was also indignant when men sacrificed to the Gods for good health, yet ate unhealthily at the sacrifice. He often expressed surprise at slaves who saw their masters eating greedily, yet did not take any food themselves. He frequently praised people who were about to marry but did not. He also praised those who were about to take a voyage but did not, or enter politics but did not. He praised those who were about to raise children but did not, and those preparing to live with princes but never did. One of his sayings was, “You should hold out your hand to a friend without closing your fingers.”

Hermippus, in his Sale of Diogenes, says that he was taken prisoner and put up to be sold, and asked what he could do; and he answered, “Govern men.” And so he bade the crier “give notice that if any one wants to purchase a master, there is one here for him.” When he was ordered not to sit down; “It makes no difference,” said he, “for fish are sold, be where they may.” He used to say, that he wondered at men always ringing a dish or jar before buying it, but being content to judge of a man by his look alone. When Xeniades bought him, he said to him that he ought to obey him even though he was his slave; for that a physician or a pilot would find men to obey them even though they might be slaves.

Hermippus says in his Sale of Diogenes that Diogenes was captured and put up for sale. When asked what he could do, he answered, “Govern men.” So he told the auctioneer, “Announce that if anyone wants to buy a master, there is one here for him.” When he was ordered not to sit down, he said, “It makes no difference. Fish are sold wherever they are.” He used to say he was surprised that people always tapped a dish or jar before buying it, but were content to judge a man by his appearance alone. When Xeniades bought him, Diogenes said that Xeniades ought to obey him, even though Diogenes was his slave. For people would obey a physician or a pilot, even if the physician or pilot were a slave.

V. And Eubulus says, in his essay entitled, The Sale of Diogenes, that he taught the children of Xeniades, after their other lessons, to ride, and shoot, and sling, and dart. And then in the Gymnasium he did not permit the trainer to exercise them after the fashion of athletes, but exercised them himself to just the degree sufficient to give them a good colour and good health. And the boys retained in their memory many sentences of poets and prose writers, and of Diogenes himself; and he used to give them a concise statement of everything in order to strengthen their memory; and at home he used to teach them to wait upon themselves, contenting themselves with plain food, and drinking water. And he accustomed them to cut their hair close, and to eschew ornament, and to go without tunics or shoes, and to keep silent, looking at nothing except themselves as they walked along. He used, also to take them out hunting; and they paid the greatest attention and respect to Diogenes himself, and spoke well of him to their parents.

V. Eubulus writes about Diogenes in his essay The Sale of Diogenes. He says that Diogenes taught Xeniades’ children to ride, shoot, use a sling, and throw a javelin after their other lessons. At the gymnasium, he did not let the trainer exercise them like athletes. Instead, he exercised them himself, just enough to give them a healthy complexion and keep them in good health. The boys memorized many sayings by poets, prose writers, and Diogenes himself. Diogenes gave them a brief account of everything to strengthen their memory. At home, he taught them to take care of themselves, eat plain food, and drink water. He trained them to wear their hair short, avoid ornaments, and go without tunics or shoes. He also taught them to walk in silence, looking only at themselves. He took them hunting as well. They paid Diogenes the greatest attention and respect, and spoke well of him to their parents.

VI. And the same author affirms, that he grew old in the household of Xeniades, and that when he died he was buried by his sons. And that while he was living with him, Xeniades once asked him how he should bury him; and he said, “On my face;” and when he was asked why, he said, “Because, in a little while, everything will be turned upside down.” And he said this because the Macedonians were already attaining power, and becoming a mighty people from having been very inconsiderable. Once, when a man had conducted him into a magnificent house, and had told him that he must not spit, after hawking a little, he spit in his face, saying that he could not find a worse place. But some tell this story of Aristippus. Once, he called out, “Holloa, men.” And when some people gathered round him in consequence, he drove them away with his stick, saying, “I called men, and not dregs.” This anecdote I have derived from Hecaton, in the first book of his Apophthegms. They also relate that Alexander said that if he had not been Alexander, he should have liked to be Diogenes. He used to call ἀνάπηροι (cripples), not those who were dumb and blind, but those who had no wallet (πήρα). On one occasion he went half shaved into an entertainment of young men, as Metrocles tells us in his Apophthegms, and so was beaten by them. And afterwards he wrote the names of all those who had beaten him, on a white tablet, and went about with the tablet round his neck, so as to expose them to insult, as they were generally condemned and reproached for their conduct.

VI. The same author says that Diogenes grew old in Xeniades’ household. When he died, Xeniades’ sons buried him. While Diogenes was living with Xeniades, Xeniades once asked him how he wanted to be buried. “On my face,” Diogenes said. When asked why, he replied, “Because, before long, everything will be turned upside down.” He said this because the Macedonians were already gaining power. They had been a very insignificant people, but were becoming mighty. Once, a man took Diogenes into a magnificent house and told him not to spit. Diogenes cleared his throat and spat in the man’s face, saying he could not find a worse place. But some tell this story about Aristippus. Once, Diogenes called out, “Hey, men!” When some people gathered around him, he drove them away with his stick. “I called for men, not dregs,” he said. I took this story from the first book of Hecaton’s Apophthegms. They also say that Alexander declared that if he had not been Alexander, he would have liked to be Diogenes. Diogenes used to call people ἀνάπηροι (cripples) if they had no wallet (πήρα), not if they were unable to speak or see. According to Metrocles in his Apophthegms, Diogenes once went to a gathering of young men with only half his face shaved. They beat him for it. Afterwards, he wrote the names of everyone who had beaten him on a white tablet. He went about with the tablet around his neck to expose them to insult. People generally condemned and reproached them for what they had done.

He used to say that he was the hound of those who were praised; but that none of those who praised them dared to go out hunting with him. A man once said to him, “I conquered men at the Pythian games:” on which he said, “I conquer men, but you only conquer slaves.” When some people said to him, “You are an old man, and should rest for the remainder of your life;” “Why so?” replied he, “suppose I had run a long distance, ought I to stop when I was near the end, and not rather press on?” Once, when he was invited to a banquet, he said that he would not come: for that the day before no one had thanked him for coming. He used to go bare foot through the snow, and to do a number of other things which have been already mentioned. Once he attempted to eat raw meat, but he could not digest it. On one occasion he found Demosthenes, the orator, dining in an inn; and as he was slipping away, he said to him, “You will now be ever so much more in an inn.”⁵⁷ Once, when some strangers wished to see Demosthenes, he stretched out his middle finger, and said, “This is the great demagogue of the Athenian people.” When some one had dropped a loaf, and was ashamed to pick it up again, he, wishing to give him a lesson, tied a cord round the neck of a bottle and dragged it all through the Ceramicus. He used to say, that he imitated the teachers of choruses, for that they spoke too loud, in order that the rest might catch the proper tone. Another of his sayings, was that most men were within a finger’s breadth of being mad. If, then, any one were to walk along, stretching out his middle finger, he will seem to be mad; but if he puts out his fore finger, he will not be thought so. Another of his sayings was, that things of great value were often sold for nothing, and vice versâ. Accordingly, that a statue would fetch three thousand drachmas, and a bushel of meal only two obols; and when Xeniades had bought him, he said to him, “Come, do what you are ordered to.” And when he said—

He used to say that he was the hound of those who were praised. But none of the people who praised them dared to go hunting with him. A man once said to him, “I defeated men at the Pythian games.” He replied, “I defeat men, but you only defeat slaves.” Some people told him, “You are an old man and should rest for the rest of your life.” “Why?” he replied. “If I had run a long distance, should I stop near the end instead of pressing on?” Once, when invited to a banquet, he said he would not come. No one had thanked him for coming the day before. He used to walk barefoot through the snow and do many other things already mentioned. Once he tried to eat raw meat, but he could not digest it. On another occasion, he found Demosthenes, the orator, eating at an inn. As Demosthenes slipped away, he told him, “Now you will be even more inside the inn.”⁵⁷ Once, when some strangers wanted to see Demosthenes, he held out his middle finger and said, “This is the great demagogue of the Athenian people.” Someone once dropped a loaf and was ashamed to pick it up again. To teach him a lesson, he tied a cord around the neck of a bottle and dragged it through the Ceramicus. He used to say that he imitated chorus teachers. They spoke too loudly so that the others could catch the proper tone. He also said that most men were within a finger’s breadth of being mad. If someone walked along holding out his middle finger, he would seem mad. But if he held out his index finger, he would not be thought mad. He also said that things of great value were often sold for almost nothing, and vice versâ. A statue, for example, would sell for three thousand drachmas, and a bushel of meal for only two obols. When Xeniades bought him, he said to him, “Come, do as you are told.” And when he said:

“Suppose,” rejoined Diogenes, “you had been sick, and had bought a physician, could you refuse to be guided by him, and tell him—

“Suppose you were sick and had bought a doctor,” replied Diogenes. “Could you refuse to follow his advice and tell him:

Once a man came to him, and wished to study philosophy as his pupil; and he gave him a saperda⁵⁸ and made him follow him. And as he from shame threw it away and departed, he soon afterwards met him and, laughing, said to him, “A saperda has dissolved your friendship for me.” But Diocles tells this story in the following manner; that when some one said to him, “Give me a commission, Diogenes,” he carried him off, and gave him a halfpenny worth of cheese to carry. And as he refused to carry it, “See,” said Diogenes, “a halfpenny worth of cheese has broken off our friendship.”

Once, a man came to him and asked to become his student in philosophy. He gave the man a saperda⁵⁸ to carry and made him follow him. But the man was ashamed, so he threw it away and left. Soon afterward, he met the man again and said with a laugh, “A saperda has ended your friendship with me.” But Diocles tells the story differently. Someone said to Diogenes, “Give me a task, Diogenes.” Diogenes took him along and gave him a halfpenny’s worth of cheese to carry. When the man refused, Diogenes said, “See, a halfpenny’s worth of cheese has ended our friendship.”

On one occasion he saw a child drinking out of its hands, and so he threw away the cup which belonged to his wallet, saying, “That child has beaten me in simplicity.” He also threw away his spoon, after seeing a boy, when he had broken his vessel, take up his lentils with a crust of bread. And he used to argue thus,—“Everything belongs to the gods; and wise men are the friends of the gods. All things are in common among friends; therefore everything belongs to wise men.” Once he saw a woman falling down before the Gods in an unbecoming attitude; he, wishing to cure her of her superstition, as Zoilus of Perga tells us, came up to her, and said, “Are you not afraid, O woman, to be in such an indecent attitude, when some God may be behind you, for every place is full of him?” He consecrated a man to Æsculapius, who was to run up and beat all these who prostrated themselves with their faces to the ground; and he was in the habit of saying that the tragic curse had come upon him, for that he was—

Once he saw a child drinking from cupped hands, so he threw away the cup he carried in his wallet. “That child has beaten me in simplicity,” he said. He also threw away his spoon after seeing a boy use a crust of bread to scoop up his lentils. The boy had broken his vessel. He also used to argue: “Everything belongs to the gods, and wise men are friends of the gods. Friends share everything, so everything belongs to wise men.” Once he saw a woman prostrating herself before the gods in an indecent position. According to Zoilus of Perga, he wanted to cure her of her superstition. He went up to her and said, “Woman, aren't you afraid to be in such an indecent position? A god may be behind you, for he is present everywhere.” He dedicated a man to Æsculapius to run up and beat all who prostrated themselves with their faces to the ground. He also used to say that the tragic curse had come upon him, for he was:

And another of his sayings was that he opposed confidence to fortune, nature to law, and reason to suffering. Once, while he was sitting in the sun in the Craneum, Alexander was standing by, and said to him, “Ask any favour you choose of me.” And he replied, “Cease to shade me from the sun.” On one occasion a man was reading some long passages, and when he came to the end of the book and showed that there was nothing more written, “Be of good cheer, my friends,” exclaimed Diogenes, “I see land.” A man once proved to him syllogistically that he had horns, so he put his hand to his forehead and said, “I do not see them.” And in a similar manner he replied to one who had been asserting that there was no such thing as motion, by getting up and walking away. When a man was talking about the heavenly bodies and meteors, “Pray how many days,” said he to him, “is it since you came down from heaven?”

Another of his sayings was that he set confidence against fortune, nature against law, and reason against suffering. Once, while he was sitting in the sun in the Craneum, Alexander stood beside him and said, “Ask me for any favor you like.” He replied, “Stop blocking my sun.” On another occasion, a man was reading some long passages. When he reached the end of the book and showed that nothing more was written, Diogenes exclaimed, “Cheer up, my friends, I can see land.” A man once used a logical argument to prove that Diogenes had horns. Diogenes put his hand to his forehead and said, “I don’t see them.” He gave a similar answer to someone who claimed that motion did not exist. He got up and walked away. When a man was talking about heavenly bodies and meteors, Diogenes asked him, “How many days has it been since you came down from heaven?”

A profligate eunuch had written on his house, “Let no evil thing enter in.” “Where,” said Diogenes, “is the master of the house going?” After having anointed his feet with perfume, he said that the ointment from his head mounted up to heaven, and that from his feet up to his nose. When the Athenians entreated him to be initiated in the Eleusinian mysteries, and said that in the shades below the initiated had the best seats; “It will,” he replied, “be an absurd thing if Agesilaus and Epaminondas are to live in the mud, and some miserable wretches, who have been initiated, are to be in the islands of the blest.” Some mice crept up to his table, and he said, “See, even Diogenes maintains his favourites.” Once, when he was leaving the bath, and a man asked him whether many men were bathing, he said, “No;” but when a number of people came out, he confessed that there were a great many. When Plato called him a dog, he said, “Undoubtedly, for I have come back to those who sold me.”

A debauched eunuch had written on his house, “Let no evil thing enter.” “Where is the master of the house going?” Diogenes asked. After rubbing perfume on his feet, Diogenes said that perfume on his head rose to heaven. But perfume on his feet rose to his nose. The Athenians urged him to be initiated into the Eleusinian mysteries. They said that the initiated had the best seats in the world of the dead. “It would be absurd,” he replied, “if Agesilaus and Epaminondas were to live in the mud, while some miserable wretches who have been initiated were to live in the islands of the blessed.” Some mice crept up to his table. He said, “Look, even Diogenes provides for his favorites.” Once, as he was leaving the bath, a man asked whether many men were bathing. Diogenes said, “No.” But when a crowd came out, he admitted that there were a great many. When Plato called him a dog, he said, “Of course. I have come back to the people who sold me.”

Plato defined man thus: “Man is a two-footed, featherless animal,” and was much praised for the definition; so Diogenes plucked a cock and brought it into his school, and said, “This is Plato’s man.” On which account this addition was made to the definition, “With broad flat nails.” A man once asked him what was the proper time for supper, and he made answer, “If you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can.” When he was at Megara he saw some sheep carefully covered over with skins, and the children running about naked; and so he said, “It is better at Megara to be a man’s ram, than his son.” A man once struck him with a beam, and then said, “Take care.” “What,” said he, “are you going to strike me again?” He used to say that the demagogues were the servants of the people; and garlands the blossoms of glory. Having lighted a candle in the day time, he said, “I am looking for a man.” On one occasion he stood under a fountain, and as the bystanders were pitying him, Plato, who was present, said to them, “If you wish really to show your pity for him, come away;” intimating that he was only acting thus out of a desire for notoriety. Once, when a man had struck him with his fist, he said, “O Hercules, what a strange thing that I should be walking about with a helmet on without knowing it!”

Plato defined man as “a two-footed, featherless animal” and was highly praised for the definition. So Diogenes plucked a rooster, brought it into Plato’s school, and said, “This is Plato’s man.” As a result, the words “with broad, flat nails” were added to the definition. Once, a man asked Diogenes when he should eat supper. Diogenes answered, “If you are rich, whenever you please. If you are poor, whenever you can.” In Megara, Diogenes saw some sheep carefully covered with skins, while the children ran around naked. So he said, “In Megara, it is better to be a man’s ram than his son.” Once, a man struck him with a beam and then said, “Watch out.” Diogenes replied, “What, are you going to strike me again?” He used to say that demagogues were the servants of the people, and that garlands were the blossoms of glory. Diogenes lit a candle in broad daylight and said, “I am looking for a man.” On another occasion, he stood under a fountain, and the onlookers took pity on him. Plato was there and told them, “If you really want to show him pity, go away.” He meant that Diogenes was doing it only to attract attention. Once, when a man punched him, Diogenes said, “O Hercules, how strange that I should be walking around wearing a helmet without knowing it!”

When Midias struck him with his fist and said, “There are three thousand drachmas for you;” the next day Diogenes took the cestus of a boxer and beat him soundly, and said, “There are three thousand drachmas for you.”⁵⁹ When Lysias, the drug-seller, asked him whether he thought that there were any Gods: “How,” said he, “can I help thinking so, when I consider you to be hated by them?” but some attribute this reply to Theodorus. Once he saw a man purifying himself by washing, and said to him, “Oh, wretched man, do not you know that as you cannot wash away blunders in grammar by purification, so, too, you can no more efface the errors of a life in that same manner?”

Midias punched Diogenes and said, “There are three thousand drachmas for you.” The next day, Diogenes put on a boxer’s cestus, beat him soundly, and said, “There are three thousand drachmas for you.”⁵⁹ Lysias, the drug-seller, asked Diogenes whether he believed there were any gods. Diogenes replied, “How can I not believe in them when I think they hate you?” But some attribute this reply to Theodorus. Once Diogenes saw a man purifying himself by washing. He said to him, “You poor fool, don’t you know that washing cannot erase the mistakes of your life, just as it cannot wash away mistakes in grammar?”

He used to say that men were wrong for complaining of fortune; for that they ask of the Gods what appear to be good things, not what are really so. And to those who were alarmed at dreams he said, that they did not regard what they do while they are awake, but make a great fuss about what they fancy they see while they are asleep. Once, at the Olympic games, when the herald proclaimed, “Dioxippus is the conqueror of men;” he said, “He is the conqueror of slaves, I am the conqueror of men.”

He used to say that people were wrong to complain about fortune. They ask the Gods for things that seem good, not for things that really are good. To those frightened by dreams, he said they paid no attention to what they did while awake. Instead, they made a great fuss about what they imagined they saw in their sleep. Once, at the Olympic games, the herald proclaimed, “Dioxippus is the conqueror of men.” He replied, “He is the conqueror of slaves. I am the conqueror of men.”

He was greatly beloved by the Athenians; accordingly, when a youth had broken his cask they beat him, and gave Diogenes another. And Dionysius, the Stoic, says that after the battle of Chæronea he was taken prisoner and brought to Philip; and being asked who he was, replied, “A spy, to spy upon your insatiability.” And Philip marvelled at him and let him go. Once, when Alexander had sent a letter to Athens to Antipater, by the hands of a man named Athlias, he, being present, said, “Athlias from Athlius, by means of Athlias to Athlius.”⁶⁰ When Perdiccas threatened that he would put him to death if he did not come to him, he replied, “That is nothing strange, for a scorpion or a tarantula could do as much: you had better threaten me that, if I kept away, you should be very happy.” He used constantly to repeat with emphasis that an easy life had been given to man by the Gods, but that it had been overlaid by their seeking for honey, cheese-cakes, and unguents, and things of that sort. On which account he said to a man, who had his shoes put on by his servant, “You are not thoroughly happy, unless he also wipes your nose for you; and he will do this, if you are crippled in your hands.” On one occasion, when he had seen the hieromnemones⁶¹ leading off one of the stewards who had stolen a goblet, he said, “The great thieves are carrying off the little thief.” At another time, seeing a young man throwing stones at a cross, he said, “Well done, you will be sure to reach the mark.” Once, too, some boys got round him and said, “We are taking care that you do not bite us;” but he said, “Be of good cheer, my boys, a dog does not eat beef.” He saw a man giving himself airs because he was clad in a lion’s skin, and said to him, “Do not go on disgracing the garb of nature.” When people were speaking of the happiness of Callisthenes, and saying what splendid treatment he received from Alexander, he replied, “The man then is wretched, for he is forced to breakfast and dine whenever Alexander chooses.” When he was in want of money, he said that be reclaimed it from his friends and did not beg for it.

The Athenians loved Diogenes dearly. When a young man broke his cask, they beat the young man and gave Diogenes another cask. Dionysius the Stoic says that Diogenes was taken prisoner after the battle of Chæronea and brought before Philip. Asked who he was, Diogenes replied, “A spy, sent to spy on your insatiable greed.” Philip was amazed by him and let him go. Once, Alexander sent a letter to Antipater in Athens through a man named Athlias. Diogenes was there and said, “Athlias from Athlius, by means of Athlias to Athlius.”⁶⁰ Perdiccas threatened to kill him if he did not come to him. Diogenes replied, “That is nothing unusual. A scorpion or a tarantula could do the same. You had better threaten to be very happy if I stay away.” He often insisted that the Gods had given people an easy life. But people had made life difficult by seeking honey, cheesecakes, ointments, and similar things. For this reason, he said to a man whose servant put his shoes on for him, “You cannot be completely happy unless he also wipes your nose. He will do that if your hands become crippled.” Once, he saw the hieromnemones⁶¹ leading away a steward who had stolen a goblet. He said, “The great thieves are carrying off the little thief.” Another time, he saw a young man throwing stones at a cross. He said, “Well done, you are sure to hit your mark.” Once, some boys gathered around him and said, “We are making sure you do not bite us.” But he replied, “Cheer up, boys. A dog does not eat beef.” He saw a man showing off because he was wearing a lion’s skin. He said to him, “Stop disgracing what nature gave the lion.” People spoke of how happy Callisthenes was and how splendidly Alexander treated him. Diogenes replied, “Then the man is miserable, because he has to eat breakfast and dinner whenever Alexander chooses.” When he needed money, he said he was claiming it back from his friends, not begging for it.

On one occasion he was working with his hands in the market-place, and said, “I wish I could rub my stomach in the same way, and so avoid hunger.” When he saw a young man going with some satraps to supper, he dragged him away and led him off to his relations, and bade them take care of him. He was once addressed by a youth beautifully adorned, who asked him some question; and he refused to give him any answer, till he satisfied him whether he was a man or a woman. And on one occasion, when a youth was playing the cottabus in the bath, he said to him, “The better you do it, the worse you do it.” Once at a banquet, some of the guests threw him bones, as if he had been a dog; so he, as he went away, put up his leg against them as if he had been a dog in reality. He used to call the orators, and all those who speak for fame τρισάνθρωποι (thrice men), instead of τρισάθλιοι (thrice miserable). He said that a rich but ignorant man, was like a sheep with a golden fleece. When he saw a notice on the house of a profligate man, “To be sold.” “I knew,” said he, “that you who are so incessantly drunk, would soon vomit up your owner.” To a young man, who was complaining of the number of people who sought his acquaintance, he said, “Do not make such a parade of your vanity.”

Once, he was masturbating in the marketplace and said, “I wish I could rub my stomach the same way and avoid hunger.” When he saw a young man going to dinner with some satraps, he dragged him away. He took him to his relatives and told them to look after him. A beautifully dressed young man once asked him a question. He refused to answer until the young man told him whether he was a man or a woman. Once, a young man was playing cottabus in the bath. He said to him, “The better you do it, the worse you do it.” At a banquet, some guests threw him bones, as if he were a dog. As he left, he raised his leg against them, as if he really were a dog. He used to call orators and all those who speak for fame τρισάνθρωποι (thrice men), instead of τρισάθλιοι (thrice miserable). He said that a rich but ignorant man was like a sheep with a golden fleece. He once saw a notice on the house of a dissolute man: “For sale.” “I knew,” he said, “that you who are so constantly drunk would soon vomit up your owner.” A young man complained about the number of people who wanted to meet him. He said to him, “Do not make such a show of your vanity.”

Having been in a very dirty bath, he said, “I wonder where the people, who bathe here, clean themselves.” When all the company was blaming an indifferent harp-player, he alone praised him, and being asked why he did so, he said, “Because, though he is such as he is, he plays the harp and does not steal.” He saluted a harp player who was always left alone by his hearers, with, “Good morning, cock;” and when the man asked him, “Why so?” he said, “Because you, when you sing, make every one get up.” When a young man was one day making a display of himself, he, having filled the bosom of his robe with lupins, began to eat them; and when the multitude looked at him, he said, “that he marvelled at their leaving the young man to look at him.” And when a man, who was very superstitious, said to him, “With one blow I will break your head;” “And I,” he replied, “with one sneeze will make you tremble.” When Hegesias entreated him to lend him one of his books, he said, “You are a silly fellow, Hegesias, for you will not take painted figs, but real ones; and yet you overlook the genuine practice of virtue, and seek for what is merely written.” A man once reproached him with his banishment, and his answer was, “You wretched man, that is what made me a philosopher.” And when, on another occasion, some one said to him, “The people of Sinope condemned you to banishment,” he replied, “And I condemned them to remain where they were.” Once he saw a man who had been victor at the Olympic games, feeding (νέμοντα) sheep, and he said to him, “You have soon come across my friend from the Olympic games, to the Nemean.” When he was asked why athletes are insensible to pain, he said, “Because they are built up of pork and beef.”

After visiting a very dirty bath, he said, “I wonder where the people who bathe here go to get clean.” Everyone in a group was criticizing a mediocre harp player, but he alone praised him. When asked why, he said, “Because, bad as he is, he plays the harp instead of stealing.” He greeted a harp player whose listeners always left him alone by saying, “Good morning, cock.” When the man asked, “Why do you call me that?” he replied, “Because when you sing, you make everyone get up.” One day, a young man was showing off. He filled the front of his robe with lupins and began eating them. When the crowd looked at him, he said he was amazed that they had stopped watching the young man to watch him. A very superstitious man said to him, “I’ll break your head with one blow.” He replied, “And I’ll make you tremble with one sneeze.” When Hegesias begged him to lend him a book, he said, “You’re a fool, Hegesias. You won’t take painted figs instead of real ones. Yet you overlook the actual practice of virtue and seek what is merely written about it.” A man once mocked him for being banished. He replied, “You poor wretch, that’s what made me a philosopher.” Another time, someone said, “The people of Sinope sentenced you to exile.” He replied, “And I sentenced them to stay where they were.” Once he saw an Olympic victor tending (νέμοντα) sheep. He said to him, “My friend, you’ve soon gone from the Olympic games to the Nemean.” When asked why athletes are insensitive to pain, he said, “Because they’re built out of pork and beef.”

He once asked for a statue; and being questioned as to his reason for doing so, he said, “I am practising disappointment.” Once he was begging of some one (for he did this at first out of actual want), he said, “If you have given to any one else, give also to me; and if you have never given to any one, then begin with me.” On one occasion, he was asked by the tyrant, “What sort of brass was the best for a statue?” and he replied, “That of which the statues of Harmodius and Aristogiton are made.” When he was asked how Dionysius treats his friends, he said, “Like bags; those which are full he hangs up, and those which are empty he throws away.” A man who was lately married put an inscription on his house, “Hercules Callinicus, the son of Jupiter, lives here; let no evil enter.” And so Diogenes wrote in addition, “An alliance is made after the war is over.” He used to say that covetousness was the metropolis of all evils. Seeing on one occasion a profligate man in an inn eating olives, he said, “If you had dined thus, you would not have supped thus.” One of his apophthegms was, that good men were the images of the Gods; another, that love was the business of those who had nothing to do. When he was asked what was miserable in life, he answered, “An indigent old man.” And when the question was put to him, what beast inflicts the worst bite, he said, “Of wild beasts the sycophant, and of tame animals the flatterer.”

He once asked for a statue. When someone asked why, he said, “I am practicing disappointment.” At first, he begged because he really needed to. Once, while begging from someone, he said, “If you have given to anyone else, give to me too. If you have never given to anyone, begin with me.” Once, the tyrant asked him, “What kind of bronze is best for a statue?” He replied, “The kind used for the statues of Harmodius and Aristogiton.” When asked how Dionysius treated his friends, he said, “Like bags. He hangs up the full ones and throws away the empty ones.” A newly married man put an inscription on his house: “Hercules Callinicus, the son of Jupiter, lives here. Let no evil enter.” So Diogenes added, “An alliance is made after the war is over.” He used to say that greed was the capital city of all evils. Once, he saw a man of loose morals eating olives at an inn. He said, “If you had dined like this, you would not have supped like this.” He also said that good people were images of the Gods, and that love was the business of those with nothing to do. When asked what was miserable in life, he answered, “A poor old man.” When asked which beast gives the worst bite, he said, “Among wild beasts, the false accuser. Among tame animals, the flatterer.”

On one occasion he saw two Centaurs very badly painted; he said, “Which of the two is the worst?”⁶² He used to say that a speech, the object of which was solely to please, was a honeyed halter. He called the belly, the Charybdis of life. Having heard once that Didymon the adulterer, had been caught in the fact, he said, “He deserves to be hung by his name.”⁶³ When the question was put to him, why gold is of a pale colour, he said, “Because it has so many people plotting against it.” When he saw a woman in a litter, he said, “The cage is not suited to the animal.” And seeing a runaway slave sitting on a well, he said, “My boy, take care you do not fall in.” Another time, he saw a little boy who was a stealer of clothes from the baths, and said, “Are you going for unguents, (ἐπ’ ἀλειμμάτιον), or for other garments (ἐπ’ ἄλλ’ ἱμάτιον).” Seeing some women hanging on olive trees, he said, “I wish every tree bore similar fruit.” At another time, he saw a clothes stealer, and addressed him thus:—

Once he saw two badly painted Centaurs. He asked, “Which of the two is worse?”⁶² He used to say that a speech meant only to please was a honeyed halter. He called the belly the Charybdis of life. Once he heard that Didymon the adulterer had been caught in the act. He said, “He deserves to be hung by his name.”⁶³ When asked why gold was pale, he said, “Because so many people are plotting against it.” When he saw a woman in a litter, he said, “The cage does not suit the animal.” Seeing a runaway slave sitting on a well, he said, “My boy, be careful not to fall in.” Another time, he saw a little boy who stole clothes from the baths. He asked, “Are you going for ointments (ἐπ’ ἀλειμμάτιον), or for other garments (ἐπ’ ἄλλ’ ἱμάτιον)?” Seeing some women hanging on olive trees, he said, “I wish every tree bore such fruit.” Another time, he saw a clothes thief and spoke to him as follows:

When he was asked whether he had any girl or boy to wait on him, he said, “No.” And as his questioner asked further, “If then you die, who will bury you?” He replied, “Whoever wants my house.” Seeing a handsome youth sleeping without any protection, he nudged him, and said, “Wake up:—

When someone asked whether he had a girl or boy to serve him, he said, “No.” The questioner then asked, “If you die, who will bury you?” He replied, “Whoever wants my house.” He saw a handsome young man sleeping without any protection. He nudged him and said, “Wake up:

And he addressed a man who was buying delicacies at a great expense:—

And he spoke to a man who was spending a great deal on delicacies:

When Plato was discoursing about his “ideas,” and using the nouns “tableness” and “cupness;” “I, O Plato!” interrupted Diogenes, “see a table and a cup, but I see no tableness or cupness.” Plato made answer, “That is natural enough, for you have eyes, by which a cup and a table are contemplated; but you have not intellect, by which tableness and cupness are seen.”

When Plato was discussing his “ideas” and using the nouns “tableness” and “cupness,” Diogenes interrupted. “Plato, I see a table and a cup, but I see no tableness or cupness.” Plato replied, “That is natural enough. You have eyes to see a cup and a table, but you lack the intellect to see tableness and cupness.”

On one occasion, he was asked by a certain person, “What sort of a man, O Diogenes, do you think Socrates?” and he said, “A madman.” Another time, the question was put to him, when a man ought to marry? and his reply was, “Young men ought not to marry yet, and old men never ought to marry at all.” When asked what he would take to let a man give him a blow on the head? he replied, “A helmet.” Seeing a youth smartening himself up very carefully, he said to him, “If you are doing that for men, you are miserable; and if for women, you are profligate.” Once he saw a youth blushing, and addressed him, “Courage, my boy, that is the complexion of virtue.” Having once listened to two lawyers, he condemned them both; saying, “That the one had stolen the thing in question, and that the other had not lost it.” When asked what wine he liked to drink, he said, “That which belongs to another.” A man said to him one day, “Many people laugh at you.” “But I,” he replied, “am not laughed down.” When a man said to him, that it was a bad thing to live; “Not to live,” said he, “but to live badly.” When some people were advising him to make search for a slave who had run away, he said, “It would be a very absurd thing for Manes to be able to live without Diogenes, but for Diogenes not to be able to live without Manes.” When he was dining on olives, a cheese-cake was brought in, on which he threw the olive away, saying:—

Once, someone asked him, “Diogenes, what kind of man do you think Socrates is?” He said, “A madman.” Another time, someone asked him when a man should marry. He replied, “Young men should not marry yet, and old men should never marry.” When asked what he would accept for letting someone hit him on the head, he replied, “A helmet.” Seeing a young man carefully dressing himself up, he said, “If you are doing that for men, you are miserable. If you are doing it for women, you are depraved.” Once, he saw a young man blushing and said to him, “Courage, my boy, that is the color of virtue.” After listening to two lawyers, he condemned them both. He said, “One stole the thing in dispute, and the other never lost it.” When asked what wine he liked to drink, he said, “Someone else’s.” One day a man said to him, “Many people laugh at you.” “But I,” he replied, “am not laughed down.” When a man told him that living was a bad thing, he said, “Not living, but living badly.” Some people advised him to look for a slave who had run away. He said, “It would be absurd if Manes could live without Diogenes, but Diogenes could not live without Manes.” While he was eating olives, someone brought him a cheesecake. He threw an olive away, saying:

And presently he added:—

And soon he added:

When he was asked what sort of a dog he was, he replied, “When hungry, I am a dog of Melita; when satisfied, a Molossian; a sort which most of those who praise, do not like to take out hunting with them, because of the labour of keeping up with them; and in like manner, you cannot associate with me, from fear of the pain I give you.” The question was put to him, whether wise men ate cheese-cakes, and he replied, “They eat everything, just as the rest of mankind.” When asked why people give to beggars and not to philosophers, he said, “Because they think it possible that they themselves may become lame and blind, but they do not expect ever to turn out philosophers.” He once begged of a covetous man, and as he was slow to give, he said, “Man, I am asking you for something to maintain me (εἰς τροφὴν) and not to bury me (εἰς ταφὴν).” When some one reproached him for having tampered with the coinage, he said, “There was a time when I was such a person as you are now; but there never was when you were such as I am now, and never will be.” And to another person who reproached him on the same grounds, he said, “There were times when I did what I did not wish to, but that is not the case now.” When he went to Myndus, he saw some very large gates, but the city was a small one, and so he said, “Oh men of Myndus, shut your gates, lest your city should steal out.” On one occasion, he saw a man who had been detected stealing purple, and so he said:—

When asked what kind of dog he was, he replied, “When hungry, I am a dog of Melita. When fed, I am a Molossian. Most people who praise Molossians do not like to take them hunting, because keeping up with them is hard work. In the same way, you cannot keep company with me because you fear the pain I cause you.” Asked whether wise men ate cheesecakes, he replied, “They eat everything, just like everyone else.” When asked why people gave to beggars but not philosophers, he said, “Because they think they might become lame or blind themselves, but they never expect to become philosophers.” Once, he asked a miser for money. When the man was slow to give, he said, “Man, I am asking you for something to feed me (εἰς τροφὴν), not to bury me (εἰς ταφὴν).” When someone criticized him for tampering with the coinage, he said, “There was a time when I was like you are now. But there was never a time when you were like I am now, and there never will be.” To another person who criticized him for the same thing, he said, “There were times when I did what I did not want to do, but that is not true now.” When he went to Myndus, he saw that the gates were very large, but the city was small. So he said, “People of Myndus, shut your gates, or your city may slip out.” Once, he saw a man who had been caught stealing purple dye, and he said:

When Craterus entreated him to come and visit him, he said, “I would rather lick up salt at Athens, than enjoy a luxurious table with Craterus.” On one occasion, he met Anaximenes, the orator, who was a fat man, and thus accosted him; “Pray give us, who are poor, some of your belly; for by so doing you will be relieved yourself, and you will assist us.” And once, when he was discussing some point, Diogenes held up a piece of salt fish, and drew off the attention of his hearers; and as Anaximenes was indignant at this, he said, “See, one pennyworth of salt fish has put an end to the lecture of Anaximenes.” Being once reproached for eating in the market-place, he made answer, “I did, for it was in the market-place that I was hungry.” Some authors also attribute the following repartee to him. Plato saw him washing vegetables, and so, coming up to him, he quietly accosted him thus, “If you had paid court to Dionysius, you would not have been washing vegetables.” “And,” he replied, with equal quietness, “if you had washed vegetables, you would never have paid court to Dionysius.” When a man said to him once, “Most people laugh at you;” “And very likely,” he replied, “the asses laugh at them; but they do not regard the asses, neither do I regard them.” Once he saw a youth studying philosophy, and said to him, “Well done; inasmuch as you are leading those who admire your person to contemplate the beauty of your mind.”

When Craterus begged him to visit, he said, “I would rather lick salt in Athens than enjoy a lavish meal with Craterus.” Once he met Anaximenes, the orator, who was fat. He said to him, “Please give some of your belly to us poor people. You will relieve yourself and help us too.” On another occasion, Anaximenes was discussing a point when Diogenes held up a piece of salt fish. The fish drew the attention of Anaximenes’ listeners away from him. Anaximenes was indignant, but Diogenes said, “Look, a penny’s worth of salt fish has put an end to Anaximenes’ lecture.” Once, when someone criticized him for eating in the marketplace, he replied, “I did, because I was hungry in the marketplace.” Some authors also attribute the following exchange to him. Plato saw him washing vegetables and quietly said to him, “If you had courted Dionysius, you would not be washing vegetables.” He replied just as quietly, “And if you had washed vegetables, you would never have courted Dionysius.” Once a man said to him, “Most people laugh at you.” He replied, “And donkeys very likely laugh at them. But they pay no attention to the donkeys, and I pay no attention to them.” Once he saw a young man studying philosophy and said to him, “Well done. You are leading those who admire your body to consider the beauty of your mind.”

A certain person was admiring the offerings in the temple at Samothrace,⁷⁰ and he said to him, “They would have been much more numerous, if those who were lost had offered them instead of those who were saved;” but some attribute this speech to Diagoras the Melian. Once he saw a handsome youth going to a banquet, and said to him, “You will come back worse (χείρων);” and when he the next day after the banquet said to him, “I have left the banquet, and was no worse for it;” he replied, “You were not Chiron, but Eurytion.”⁷¹ He was begging once of a very ill-tempered man, and as he said to him, “If you can persuade me, I will give you something;” he replied, “If I could persuade you, I would beg you to hang yourself.” He was on one occasion returning from Lacedæmon to Athens; and when some one asked him, “Whither are you going, and whence do you come?” he said, “I am going from the men’s apartments to the women’s.” Another time he was returning from the Olympic games, and when some one asked him whether there had been a great multitude there, he said, “A great multitude, but very few men.” He used to say that debauched men resembled figs growing on a precipice; the fruit of which is not tasted by men, but devoured by crows and vultures. When Phryne had dedicated a golden statue of Venus at Delphi, he wrote upon it, “From the profligacy of the Greeks.”

Someone was admiring the offerings in the temple at Samothrace.⁷⁰ He said to him, “There would be many more if those who were lost had made offerings instead of those who were saved.” But some attribute this remark to Diagoras the Melian. Once he saw a handsome young man on his way to a banquet. He said to him, “You will come back worse (χείρων).” The next day, the young man said, “I left the banquet and was no worse for it.” He replied, “You were not Chiron, but Eurytion.”⁷¹ Once he was begging from a very bad-tempered man. The man said, “If you can persuade me, I will give you something.” He replied, “If I could persuade you, I would ask you to hang yourself.” On one occasion, he was returning to Athens from Lacedæmon. Someone asked him, “Where are you going, and where have you come from?” He said, “I am going from the men’s quarters to the women’s.” Another time, he was returning from the Olympic games. Someone asked him whether a great crowd had been there. He said, “A great crowd, but very few men.” He used to say that debauched men were like figs growing on a cliff. People never taste the fruit, but crows and vultures devour it. When Phryne dedicated a golden statue of Venus at Delphi, he wrote on it, “From the profligacy of the Greeks.”

Once Alexander the Great came and stood by him, and said, “I am Alexander, the great king.” “And I,” said he, “am Diogenes the dog.” And when he was asked to what actions of his it was owing that he was called a dog, he said, “Because I fawn upon those who give me anything, and bark at those who give me nothing, and bite the rogues.” On one occasion he was gathering some of the fruit of a fig-tree, and when the man who was guarding it told him a man hung himself on this tree the other day. “I, then,” said he, “will now purify it.” Once he saw a man who had been a conqueror at the Olympic games looking very often at a courtesan; “Look,” said he, “at that warlike ram, who is taken prisoner by the first girl he meets.” One of his sayings was, that good-looking courtesans were like poisoned mead.

Once Alexander the Great came and stood beside Diogenes. He said, “I am Alexander, the great king.” “And I,” he replied, “am Diogenes the dog.” When asked what he had done to be called a dog, he said, “I fawn on those who give me something, bark at those who give me nothing, and bite scoundrels.” Once, Diogenes was picking fruit from a fig tree. The man guarding the tree told him that a man had hanged himself from it the other day. Diogenes said, “Then I will now purify the tree.” Once he saw an Olympic champion repeatedly looking at a courtesan. Diogenes said, “Look at that warlike ram, taken prisoner by the first girl he meets.” He also said that beautiful courtesans were like poisoned mead.

On one occasion he was eating his dinner in the market-place, and the bystanders kept constantly calling out “Dog;” but he said, “It is you who are the dogs, who stand around me while I am at dinner.” When two effeminate fellows were getting out of his way, he said, “Do not be afraid, a dog does not eat beetroot.” Being once asked about a debauched boy, as to what country he came from, he said, “He is a Tegean.”⁷² Seeing an unskilful wrestler professing to heal a man he said, “What are you about, are you in hopes now to overthrow those who formerly conquered you?” On one occasion he saw the son of a courtesan throwing a stone at a crowd, and said to him, “Take care, lest you hit your father.” When a boy showed him a sword that he had received from one to whom he had done some discreditable service, he told him, “The sword is a good sword, but the handle is infamous.” And when some people were praising a man who had given him something, he said to them, “And do not you praise me who was worthy to receive it?” He was asked by some one to give him back his cloak; but he replied, “If you gave it me, it is mine; and if you only lent it me, I am using it.” A supposititious son (ὑποβολιμαῖος) of somebody once said to him, that he had gold in his cloak; “No doubt,” said he, “that is the very reason why I sleep with it under my head (ὑποβεβλημένος).” When he was asked what advantage he had derived from philosophy, he replied, “If no other, at least this, that I am prepared for every kind of fortune.” The question was put to him what countryman he was, and he replied, “A Citizen of the world.” Some men were sacrificing to the Gods to prevail on them to send them sons, and he said, “And do you not sacrifice to procure sons of a particular character?” Once he was asking the president of a society for a contribution,⁷³ and said to him:—

Once, he was eating dinner in the marketplace when the bystanders kept calling him “Dog.” He replied, “You are the dogs, standing around me while I eat.” When two effeminate fellows moved out of his way, he said, “Don’t be afraid. A dog doesn’t eat beetroot.” Once, someone asked him what country a debauched boy came from. He replied, “He is a Tegean.”⁷² Seeing an unskilled wrestler claiming to heal a man, he said, “What are you doing? Are you hoping to overthrow those who once defeated you?” Once, he saw the son of a courtesan throwing a stone at a crowd. He said to the boy, “Be careful, or you might hit your father.” A boy showed him a sword he had received from someone for a discreditable service. He told the boy, “The sword is good, but the handle is infamous.” When some people praised a man for giving him something, he said, “Why don’t you praise me too, for being worthy to receive it?” Someone asked him to give back his cloak. He replied, “If you gave it to me, it is mine. If you only lent it to me, I am using it.” Someone’s supposed son (ὑποβολιμαῖος) once told him he had gold in his cloak. “No doubt,” he said. “That is why I sleep with it under my head (ὑποβεβλημένος).” When asked what he had gained from philosophy, he replied, “If nothing else, at least I am prepared for every kind of fortune.” Asked what country he came from, he replied, “A citizen of the world.” Some men were sacrificing to the gods to persuade them to send them sons. He said, “And don’t you sacrifice to obtain sons of a particular character?” Once, he asked the president of a society for a contribution,⁷³ and said to him:

He used to say that courtesans were the queens of kings; for that they asked them for whatever they chose. When the Athenians had voted that Alexander was Bacchus, he said to them, “Vote, too, that I am Serapis.” When a man reproached him for going into unclean places, he said, “The sun too penetrates into privies, but is not polluted by them.” When supping in a temple, as some dirty loaves were set before him, he took them up and threw them away, saying that nothing dirty ought to come into a temple; and when some one said to him, “You philosophize without being possessed of any knowledge,” he said, “If I only pretend to wisdom, that is philosophizing.” A man once brought him a boy, and said that he was a very clever child, and one of an admirable disposition. “What, then,” said Diogenes, “does he want of me?” He used to say, that those who utter virtuous sentiments but do not do them, are no better than harps, for that a harp has no hearing or feeling. Once he was going into a theatre while every one else was coming out of it; and when asked why he did so, “It is,” said he, “what I have been doing all my life.” Once when he saw a young man putting on effeminate airs, he said to him, “Are you not ashamed to have worse plans for yourself than nature had for you? for she has made you a man, but you are trying to force yourself to be a woman.” When he saw an ignorant man tuning a psaltery, he said to him, “Are you not ashamed to be arranging proper sounds on a wooden instrument, and not arranging your soul to a proper life?” When a man said to him, “I am not calculated for philosophy,” he said, “Why then do you live, if you have no desire to live properly?” To a man who treated his father with contempt, he said, “Are you not ashamed to despise him to whom you owe it that you have it in your power to give yourself airs at all?” Seeing a handsome young man chattering in an unseemly manner, he said, “Are you not ashamed to draw a sword cut of lead out of a scabbard of ivory?” Being once reproached for drinking in a vintner’s shop, he said, “I have my hair cut, too, in a barber’s.” At another time, he was attacked for having accepted a cloak from Antipater, but he replied:—

He used to say that courtesans were the queens of kings because they asked kings for whatever they wanted. When the Athenians voted to declare Alexander Bacchus, he told them, “Vote to declare me Serapis, too.” When a man criticized him for entering filthy places, he said, “The sun shines into toilets too, but it is not made dirty by them.” Once, while he was dining in a temple, some dirty loaves were set before him. He picked them up and threw them away, saying that nothing dirty should enter a temple. When someone told him, “You practice philosophy without knowing anything,” he replied, “Even if I only pretend to be wise, that is practicing philosophy.” A man once brought him a boy, saying that he was very clever and had an admirable character. “Then what does he need me for?” Diogenes asked. He used to say that people who speak about virtue but do not practice it are no better than harps. A harp, after all, can neither hear nor feel. Once he was going into a theater while everyone else was coming out. Asked why, he said, “It is what I have been doing all my life.” Once, seeing a young man behaving in an effeminate way, he said, “Aren’t you ashamed to have worse plans for yourself than nature had for you? Nature made you a man, but you are trying to turn yourself into a woman.” When he saw an ignorant man tuning a psaltery, he asked him, “Aren’t you ashamed to put a wooden instrument in tune, but not put your soul in order for a proper life?” When a man told him, “I am not suited to philosophy,” he replied, “Why live, then, if you have no desire to live properly?” To a man who treated his father with contempt, he said, “Aren’t you ashamed to despise the man you owe for being able to put on airs at all?” Seeing a handsome young man chattering in an unseemly way, he said, “Aren’t you ashamed to draw a lead sword from an ivory scabbard?” Once, when criticized for drinking in a wine seller’s shop, he replied, “I also get my hair cut at a barber’s.” Another time, he was criticized for accepting a cloak from Antipater, but he replied:

A man once struck him with a broom, and said, “Take care,” so he struck him in return with his staff, and said, “Take care.”

A man once hit him with a broom and said, “Watch out.” So he hit the man back with his staff and said, “Watch out.”

He once said to a man who was addressing anxious entreaties to a courtesan, “What can you wish to obtain, you wretched man, that you had not better be disappointed in?” Seeing a man reeking all over with unguents, he said to him, “Have a care, lest the fragrance of your head give a bad odour to your life.” One of his sayings was, that servants serve their masters, and that wicked men are the slaves of their appetites. Being asked why slaves were called ἀνδράποδα, he replied, “Because they have the feet of men (τοὺς πόδας ἀνδρῶν), and a soul such as you who are asking this question.” He once asked a profligate fellow for a mina; and when he put the question to him, why he asked others for an obol, and him for a mina, he said, “Because I hope to get something from the others another time, but the Gods alone know whether I shall ever extract anything from you again.” Once he was reproached for asking favours, while Plato never asked for any; and he said:—

He once saw a man anxiously begging a courtesan for something. He said to him, “You poor wretch, what could you want from her that you would not be better off without?” Seeing a man covered in scented oils, he said, “Be careful, or the fragrance of your head may give your life a bad smell.” He used to say that servants serve their masters, while wicked men are slaves to their appetites. When asked why slaves were called ἀνδράποδα, he replied, “Because they have the feet of men (τοὺς πόδας ἀνδρῶν), and a soul like yours.” He once asked a reckless spender for a mina. The man asked why he asked others for an obol but asked him for a mina. He replied, “Because I hope to get something from the others another time. But the gods alone know whether I shall ever get anything out of you again.” Once someone criticized him for asking favors when Plato never did. He replied:

One day he saw an unskilful archer shooting; so he went and sat down by the target, saying, “Now I shall be out of harm’s way.” He used to say, that those who were in love were disappointed in regard of the pleasure they expected. When he was asked whether death was an evil, he replied, “How can that be an evil which we do not feel when it is present?” When Alexander was once standing by him, and saying, “Do not you fear me?” He replied, “No; for what are you, a good or an evil?” And as he said that he was good, “Who, then,” said Diogenes, “fears the good?” He used to say, that education was, for the young sobriety, for the old comfort, for the poor riches, and for the rich an ornament. When Didymus the adulterer was once trying to cure the eye of a young girl (κόρης), he said, “Take care, lest when you are curing the eye of the maiden, you do not hurt the pupil.”⁷⁵ A man once said to him, that his friends laid plots against him; “What then,” said he, “are you to do, if you must look upon both your friends and enemies in the same light?”

One day, Diogenes saw a poor archer shooting. He went and sat beside the target, saying, “Now I’ll be out of harm’s way.” He used to say that people in love were disappointed by the pleasure they expected. When asked whether death was an evil, he replied, “How can something be evil if we don’t feel it when it comes?” Once, Alexander stood beside him and asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?” Diogenes replied, “No. Are you good or evil?” Alexander said he was good. “Who, then,” Diogenes asked, “is afraid of what is good?” He used to say that education gave the young self-control and the old comfort. It was wealth to the poor and an ornament to the rich. Once, Didymus the adulterer was trying to treat a young girl’s eye (κόρης). Diogenes said, “Take care that, while you treat the maiden’s eye, you don’t harm the pupil.”⁷⁵ A man once told him that his friends were plotting against him. “What, then,” Diogenes asked, “are you to do if you must regard your friends and enemies alike?”

On one occasion he was asked, what was the most excellent thing among men; and he said, “Freedom of speech.” He went once into a school, and saw many statues of the Muses, but very few pupils, and said, “Gods, and all my good schoolmasters, you have plenty of pupils.” He was in the habit of doing everything in public, whether in respect of Venus or Ceres; and he used to put his conclusions in this way to people: “If there is nothing absurd in dining, then it is not absurd to dine in the market-place. But it is not absurd to dine, therefore it is not absurd to dine in the market-place.” And as he was continually doing manual work in public, he said one day, “Would that by rubbing my belly I could get rid of hunger.” Other sayings also are attributed to him, which it would take a long time to enumerate, there is such a multiplicity of them.

Once, someone asked him what was best among human beings. He said, “Freedom of speech.” Once, he visited a school and saw many statues of the Muses but very few pupils. He said, “Gods, and all my good schoolmasters, you have plenty of pupils.” He used to do everything in public, whether it concerned Venus or Ceres. He would explain his reasoning to people this way: “If there is nothing absurd about eating, then eating in the marketplace is not absurd. But eating is not absurd, so eating in the marketplace is not absurd.” He also masturbated in public regularly. One day he said, “If only I could get rid of hunger by rubbing my belly.” Many other sayings are attributed to him. There are so many that listing them would take a long time.

He used to say, that there were two kinds of exercise: that, namely, of the mind and that of the body; and that the latter of these created in the mind such quick and agile phantasies at the time of its performance, as very much facilitated the practice of virtue; but that one was imperfect without the other, since the health and vigour necessary for the practice of what is good, depend equally on both mind and body. And he used to allege as proofs of this, and of the ease which practice imparts to acts of virtue, that people could see that in the case of mere common working trades, and other employments of that kind, the artisans arrived at no inconsiderable accuracy by constant practice; and that any one may see how much one flute player, or one wrestler, is superior to another, by his own continued practice. And that if these men transferred the same training to their minds they would not labour in a profitless or imperfect manner. He used to say also, that there was nothing whatever in life which could be brought to perfection without practice, and that that alone was able to overcome every obstacle; that, therefore, as we ought to repudiate all useless toils, and to apply ourselves to useful labours, and to live happily, we are only unhappy in consequence of most exceeding folly. For the very contempt of pleasure, if we only inure ourselves to it, is very pleasant; and just as they who are accustomed to live luxuriously, are brought very unwillingly to adopt the contrary system; so they who have been originally inured to that opposite system, feel a sort of pleasure in the contempt of pleasure.

He used to say that there were two kinds of exercise, one for the mind and one for the body. During physical exercise, quick and agile impressions arose in the mind, making it much easier to practice virtue. But each kind of exercise was incomplete without the other. Both mind and body were equally necessary for the health and vigor needed to do good. He offered evidence for this and for the ease that practice brings to virtuous acts. Anyone could see that artisans in ordinary trades and similar occupations achieved considerable accuracy through constant practice. Anyone could also see how much better one flute player or wrestler became than another through continued practice. If these men trained their minds in the same way, their efforts would not be fruitless or incomplete. He also used to say that nothing in life could be perfected without practice. Practice alone could overcome every obstacle. We ought therefore to reject all useless toil, devote ourselves to useful work, and live happily. We are unhappy only because of our extreme folly. For even rejecting pleasure is very pleasant, if we become accustomed to doing so. People used to living in luxury are very reluctant to adopt the opposite way of life. In the same way, those who have become accustomed to the opposite way of life from the start take a kind of pleasure in rejecting pleasure.

This used to be the language which he held, and he used to show in practice, really altering men’s habits, and deferring in all things rather to the principles of nature than to those of law; saying that he was adopting the same fashion of life as Hercules had, preferring nothing in the world to liberty; and saying that everything belonged to the wise, and advancing arguments such as I mentioned just above. For instance: every thing belongs to the Gods; and the Gods are friends to the wise; and all the property of friends is held in common; therefore everything belongs to the wise. He also argued about the law, that without it there is no possibility of a constitution being maintained; for without a city there can be nothing orderly, but a city is an orderly thing; and without a city there can be no law; therefore law is order. And he played in the same manner with the topics of noble birth, and reputation, and all things of that kind, saying that they were all veils, as it were, for wickedness; and that that was the only proper constitution which consisted in order. Another of his doctrines was that all women ought to be possessed in common; and he said that marriage was a nullity, and that the proper way would be for every man to live with her whom he could persuade to agree with him. And on the same principle he said, that all people’s sons ought to belong to every one in common; and there was nothing intolerable in the idea of taking anything out of a temple, or eating any animal whatever, and that there was no impiety in tasting even human flesh; as is plain from the habits of foreign nations; and he said that this principle might be correctly extended to every case and every people. For he said that in reality everything was a combination of all things. For that in bread there was meat, and in vegetables there was bread, and so there were some particles of all other bodies in everything, communicating by invisible passages and evaporating.

He used to speak this way and put his ideas into practice, actually changing people’s habits. In everything, he followed the principles of nature rather than those of law. He said he lived as Hercules had, valuing nothing in the world above freedom. He also said that everything belonged to the wise, offering arguments like those I mentioned above. For example: Everything belongs to the Gods. The Gods are friends of the wise, and friends hold all their property in common. Therefore, everything belongs to the wise. He also argued that a constitution cannot be maintained without law. Without a city, there can be nothing orderly, but a city is an orderly thing. Without a city, there can be no law. Therefore, law is order. He played similarly with the subjects of noble birth, reputation, and everything of that kind. He said they were all, as it were, veils for wickedness. He also said that the only proper constitution was one based on order. Another of his doctrines was that all women should be held in common. He said marriage had no validity. Instead, each man should live with any woman he could persuade to agree. On the same principle, he said that everyone’s sons should belong to everyone in common. He also said there was nothing intolerable about taking anything from a temple or eating any animal. There was no impiety even in tasting human flesh, as the customs of foreign nations made clear. He said this principle could rightly be extended to every case and every people. For he said that, in reality, everything was a combination of all things. There was meat in bread and bread in vegetables. Likewise, everything contained particles of all other bodies, which passed through invisible channels and evaporated.

VII. And he explains this theory of his clearly in the Thyestes, if indeed the tragedies attributed to him are really his composition, and not rather the work of Philiscus, of Ægina, his intimate friend, or of Pasiphon, the son of Lucian, who is stated by Phavorinus, in his Universal History, to have written them after Diogenes’ death.

VII. He explains his theory clearly in the Thyestes, if he really wrote the tragedies attributed to him. They may instead be the work of Philiscus of Ægina, his close friend, or of Pasiphon, the son of Lucian. Phavorinus states in his Universal History that Pasiphon wrote them after Diogenes’ death.

VIII. Music and geometry, and astronomy, and all things of that kind, he neglected, as useless and unnecessary. But he was a man very happy in meeting arguments, as is plain from what we have already said.

VIII. He neglected music, geometry, astronomy, and all such subjects, considering them useless and unnecessary. But he was very skillful at answering arguments, as we have already seen.

IX. And he bore being sold with a most magnanimous spirit. For as he was sailing to Ægina, and was taken prisoner by some pirates, under the command of Scirpalus, he was carried off to Crete and sold; and when the crier asked him what art he understood, he said, “That of governing men.” And presently pointing out a Corinthian, very carefully dressed, (the same Xeniades whom we have mentioned before), he said, “Sell me to that man; for he wants a master.” Accordingly Xeniades bought him and carried him away to Corinth; and then he made him tutor of his sons, and committed to him the entire management of his house. And he behaved himself in every affair in such a manner, that Xeniades, when looking over his property, said, “A good genius has come into my house.” And Cleomenes, in his book which is called the Schoolmaster, says, that he wished to ransom all his relations, but that Diogenes told him that they were all fools; for that lions did not become the slaves of those who kept them, but, on the contrary, those who maintained lions were their slaves. For that it was the part of a slave to fear, but that wild beasts were formidable to men.

IX. He bore being sold with great courage. While he was sailing to Ægina, pirates under Scirpalus captured him. They took him to Crete and sold him. When the auctioneer asked what skill he had, he said, “Governing men.” He soon pointed to a carefully dressed Corinthian, the Xeniades mentioned earlier, and said, “Sell me to that man, for he needs a master.” So Xeniades bought him and took him to Corinth. There he made him tutor to his sons and put him in charge of his entire household. Diogenes handled everything so well that Xeniades, surveying his property, said, “A good spirit has come into my house.” In his book called the Schoolmaster, Cleomenes says that Xeniades wanted to pay to free all his relatives. But Diogenes told him that they were all fools. Lions, he said, did not become slaves to the people who kept them. On the contrary, those who kept lions were the lions’ slaves. For fear was the mark of a slave, and wild beasts inspired fear in men.

X. And the man had the gift of persuasion in a wonderful degree; so that he could easily overcome any one by his arguments. Accordingly, it is said that an Æginetan of the name of Onesicritus, having two sons, sent to Athens one of them, whose name was Androsthenes, and that he, after having heard Diogenes lecture, remained there; and that after that, he sent the elder, Philiscus, who has been already mentioned, and that Philiscus was charmed in the same manner. And last of all, he came himself, and then he too remained, no less than his son, studying philosophy at the feet of Diogenes. So great a charm was there in the discourses of Diogenes. Another pupil of his was Phocion, who was surnamed the Good; and Stilpon, the Megarian, and a great many other men of eminence as statesmen.

X. Diogenes had a remarkable gift for persuasion and could easily defeat anyone in an argument. It is said that Onesicritus, a man from Ægina, had two sons. He sent one of them, Androsthenes, to Athens. After hearing Diogenes lecture, Androsthenes stayed there. Onesicritus then sent his older son, Philiscus, who has already been mentioned. Philiscus was just as charmed and stayed too. Finally, Onesicritus came himself. He too stayed, like his sons, to study philosophy under Diogenes. Such was the charm of Diogenes’ discourses. His other pupils included Phocion, known as the Good, and Stilpon of Megara. A great many other eminent statesmen were also his pupils.

XI. He is said to have died when he was nearly ninety years of age, but there are different accounts given of his death. For some say that he ate an ox’s foot raw, and was in consequence seized with a bilious attack, of which he died; others, of whom Cercidas, a Megalopolitan or Cretan, is one, say that he died of holding his breath for several days; and Cercidas speaks thus of him in his Meliambics:—

XI. He is said to have died when he was nearly ninety, but accounts of his death differ. Some say he ate a raw ox’s foot and suffered a fatal bilious attack as a result. Others say he died after holding his breath for several days. Cercidas, who was from Megalopolis or Crete, is among them. In his Meliambics, Cercidas speaks of him as follows:

Others say that he, while intending to distribute a polypus to his dogs, was bitten by them through the tendon of his foot, and so died. But his own greatest friends, as Antisthenes tells us in his Successions, rather sanction the story of his having died from holding his breath. For he used to live in the Craneum, which was a Gymnasium at the gates of Corinth. And his friends came according to their custom, and found him with his head covered; and as they did not suppose that he was asleep, for he was not a man much subject to the influence of night or sleep, they drew away his cloak from his face, and found him no longer breathing; and they thought that he had done this on purpose, wishing to escape the remaining portion of his life.

Others say that he was about to divide an octopus among his dogs when they bit through a tendon in his foot. He died from the wound. But his closest friends favored the story that he died by holding his breath, according to Antisthenes in his Successions. He lived in the Craneum, a gymnasium at the gates of Corinth. His friends came as usual and found him with his head covered. They did not think he was asleep, since he was not a man who spent much of the night sleeping. So they pulled his cloak away from his face and found that he was no longer breathing. They thought he had done this deliberately, wishing to escape the rest of his life.

On this there was a quarrel, as they say, between his friends, as to who should bury him, and they even came to blows; but when the elders and chief men of the city came there, they say that he was buried by them at the gate which leads to the Isthmus. And they placed over him a pillar, and on that a dog in Parian marble. And at a later period his fellow citizens honoured him with brazen statues, and put this inscription on them:—

His friends reportedly argued over who should bury him, and they even came to blows. But when the elders and leading men of the city arrived, they reportedly buried him at the gate leading to the Isthmus. They placed a pillar over his grave, with a dog carved from Parian marble on top. Later, his fellow citizens honored him with bronze statues and put this inscription on them:

We ourselves have also written an epigram on him in the proceleusmatic metre.

We have also written an epigram about him in proceleusmatic meter.

Some, however, say that when he was dying, he ordered his friends to throw his corpse away without burying it, so that every beast might tear it, or else to throw it into a ditch, and sprinkle a little dust over it. And others say that his injunctions were, that he should be thrown into the Ilissus; that so he might be useful to his brethren. But Demetrius, in his treatise on Men of the Same Name, says that Diogenes died in Corinth the same day that Alexander died in Babylon. And he was already an old man, as early as the hundred and thirteenth olympiad.

Some, however, say that as he was dying, he told his friends to leave his body unburied for every beast to tear apart. Or else, they say, he told them to throw it into a ditch and sprinkle a little dust over it. Others say that he asked to be thrown into the Ilissus, so that he might be useful to his brethren. But Demetrius, in his treatise on Men of the Same Name, says that Diogenes died in Corinth on the same day that Alexander died in Babylon. Diogenes was already an old man as early as the 113th Olympiad.

XII. The following books are attributed to him. The dialogues entitled the Cephalion; the Icthyas; the Jackdaw; the Leopard; the People of the Athenians; the Republic; one called Moral Art; one on Wealth; one on Love; the Theodorus; the Hypsias; the Aristarchus; one on Death; a volume of Letters; seven Tragedies, the Helen, the Thyestes, the Hercules, the Achilles, the Medea, the Chrysippus, and the Œdipus.

XII. The following books are attributed to him. His dialogues are the Cephalion, the Icthyas, the Jackdaw, the Leopard, the People of the Athenians, and the Republic. Others are called Moral Art, On Wealth, On Love, the Theodorus, the Hypsias, the Aristarchus, and On Death. He is also credited with a volume of Letters and seven tragedies. The tragedies are the Helen, the Thyestes, the Hercules, the Achilles, the Medea, the Chrysippus, and the Œdipus.

But Sosicrates, in the first book of his Successions, and Satyrus, in the fourth book of his Lives, both assert that none of all these are the genuine composition of Diogenes. And Satyrus affirms that the tragedies are the work of Philiscus, the Æginetan, a friend of Diogenes. But Sotion, in his seventh book, says that these are the only genuine works of Diogenes: a dialogue on Virtue; another on the Good; another on Love; the Beggar; the Tolmæus; the Leopard; the Cassander; the Cephalion; and that the Aristarchus, the Sisyphus, the Ganymede, a volume of Apophthegms, and another of Letters, are all the work of Philiscus.

But Sosicrates, in the first book of his Successions, and Satyrus, in the fourth book of his Lives, disagree. Both say that none of these works were genuinely written by Diogenes. Satyrus says that the tragedies were written by Philiscus of Ægina, a friend of Diogenes. But Sotion, in his seventh book, says that only the following works are genuinely Diogenes’: a dialogue on Virtue, another on the Good, another on Love, the Beggar, the Tolmæus, the Leopard, the Cassander, and the Cephalion. Sotion says that the Aristarchus, the Sisyphus, the Ganymede, a volume of Sayings, and another of Letters were all written by Philiscus.

XIII. There were five persons of the name of Diogenes. The first a native of Apollonia, a natural philosopher; and the beginning of his treatise on Natural Philosophy is as follows: “It appears to me to be well for every one who commences any kind of philosophical treatise, to lay down some undeniable principle to start with.” The second was a Sicyonian, who wrote an account of Peloponnesus. The third was the man of whom we have been speaking. The fourth was a Stoic, a native of Seleucia, but usually called a Babylonian, from the proximity of Seleucia to Babylon. The fifth was a native of Tarsus, who wrote on the subject of some questions concerning poetry which he endeavours to solve.

XIII. There were five people named Diogenes. The first was a native of Apollonia and a natural philosopher. His treatise on Natural Philosophy begins: “It seems to me that anyone beginning a philosophical treatise should start with an undeniable principle.” The second was from Sicyon and wrote an account of Peloponnesus. The third was the man we have been discussing. The fourth was a Stoic from Seleucia. He was usually called a Babylonian because Seleucia was close to Babylon. The fifth was a native of Tarsus. He wrote about some questions concerning poetry and tried to solve them.

XIV. Athenodorus, in the eighth book of his Conversations, says, that the philosopher always had a shining appearance, from his habit of anointing himself.

XIV. In the eighth book of his Conversations, Athenodorus says that the philosopher always looked shiny because he regularly anointed himself.