Self-Control and Happiness

WHEN mental energy is allowed to follow the line of least resistance, and to fall into easy channels, it is called weakness; when it is gathered, focussed, and forced into upward and difficult directions, it becomes power; and this concentration of energy and acquisition of power is brought about by means of self-control.

When mental energy follows the path of least resistance and flows into easy channels, it is called weakness. But when that energy is gathered, focused, and directed toward higher, more difficult aims, it becomes power. Self-control concentrates mental energy and builds this power.

In speaking of self-control, one is easily misunderstood. It should not be associated with a destructive repression, but with a constructive expression. The process is not one of death, but of life: it is a divine and masterly transmutation in which the weak is converted into the strong, the coarse into the fine, and the base into the noble; in which virtue takes the place of vice, and dark passion is lost in bright intellectuality.

When speaking about self-control, it is easy to be misunderstood. Self-control should not be associated with destructive repression, but with constructive expression. The process is not one of death, but of life. It is a divine and masterful transformation. In it, weakness becomes strength, coarseness becomes refinement, and what is base becomes noble. Virtue takes the place of vice, and dark passion gives way to bright intellectual thought.

The man who merely smothers up and hides away his real nature without any higher object in view than to create a good impression upon others concerning his character, is practising hypocrisy, and not self-control. As the mechanic transmutes coal into gas, and water into steam, and then concentrates and utilizes the finer forces thus generated for the comfort and convenience of men, so the man who intelligently practises self-control transmutes his lower inclinations into the finer qualities of intelligence and morality to the increase of his own and the world’s happiness.

A man may suppress and hide his true nature simply to make others think well of his character. He is practicing hypocrisy, not self-control. A mechanic turns coal into gas and water into steam. He then concentrates and uses these finer forces for people’s comfort and convenience. In the same way, a man who practices self-control intelligently transforms his lower inclinations into finer qualities of intelligence and morality. This increases his own happiness and the happiness of the world.

A man is happy, wise, and great in the measure that he controls himself; he is wretched, foolish, and mean in the measure that he allows his animal nature to dominate his thoughts and actions.

A man is happy, wise, and great to the extent that he controls himself. He is miserable, foolish, and base to the extent that he lets his animal nature rule his thoughts and actions.

He who controls himself, controls his life, his circumstances, his destiny; and wherever he goes he carries his happiness with him as an abiding possession. He who does not control himself, is controlled by his passions, by his circumstances, and by his fate; and if he cannot gratify the desire of the moment, he is disappointed and miserable. He depends for his fitful happiness on external things.

A person who controls himself controls his life, his circumstances, and his destiny. Wherever he goes, he carries his happiness with him as a lasting possession. A person who does not control himself is controlled by his passions, his circumstances, and his fate. If he cannot satisfy his desire of the moment, he is disappointed and miserable. He depends on external things for his occasional happiness.

There is no force in the universe which can be annihilated or lost. Energy is transformed, but not destroyed. To shut the door upon old and bad habits is to open it to new and better ones. Renunciation precedes regeneration. Every self-indulgence, every forbidden pleasure, every hateful thought renounced is transformed into something more purely and permanently beautiful. Where debilitating excitements are cut off, there spring up rejuvenating joys. The seed dies that the flower may appear; the grub perishes, but the dragon-fly comes forth.

No force in the universe can be destroyed or lost. Energy changes form, but it is not destroyed. Closing the door on old, bad habits opens it to new, better ones. Giving things up comes before renewal. Every act of self-indulgence, forbidden pleasure, and hateful thought that is given up becomes something purer and more lasting in its beauty. When draining excitement is cut off, renewing joys spring up in its place. The seed dies so that the flower can appear. The grub dies, but the dragonfly emerges.

Truly, the transformation is not instantaneous; nor is the transition a pleasant and painless process. Nature demands effort and patience as the price of growth. In the march of progress, every victory is contested with struggle and pain; but the victory is achieved, and it abides. The struggle passes; the pain is temporary only. To demolish a firmly fixed habit, to break up a mental tendency that has become automatic with long use, and to force into birth and growth a fine characteristic or lofty virtue—to accomplish this necessitates a painful metamorphosis, a transitional period of darkness, to pass through which, patience and endurance are required: and this is where men fail; this is where they slip back into their old, easy, animal ruts, and abandon self-control as too strenuous and severe. Thus they fall short of permanent happiness, and the life of triumph over evil is hidden from their eyes.

Of course, this transformation does not happen instantly. The transition is neither pleasant nor painless. Nature demands effort and patience as the price of growth. As we progress, every victory must be won through struggle and pain. But the victory is achieved, and it lasts. The struggle passes, and the pain is only temporary. Breaking a deeply rooted habit means changing a mental tendency that has become automatic through long use. Bringing a fine quality or noble virtue to life and helping it grow takes the same effort. Both require a painful transformation and a dark period of transition. Patience and endurance are needed to get through that period. This is where people fail. They slip back into their old, easy, animal habits and give up self-control as too demanding and harsh. As a result, they fall short of lasting happiness and cannot see the life of triumph over evil.

The permanent happiness which men seek in dissipation, excitement, and abandonment to unworthy pleasures, is found only in the life which reverses all this—the life of self-control. So far as a man deviates from perfect self-command, just so far does he fall short of perfect happiness, and sink into misery and weakness, the lowest limit of which is madness, entire lack of mental control, the condition of irresponsibility. In so far as a man approximates to perfect self-command, just so near does he approach to perfect happiness, and rise into joy and strength; and so glorious are the possibilities of such divine manhood, that no limit can be set to its grandeur and bliss.

People seek lasting happiness in excess, excitement, and surrender to unworthy pleasures. But lasting happiness is found only in the opposite kind of life, a life of self-control. To the extent that a man falls short of perfect self-control, he also falls short of perfect happiness. He sinks into misery and weakness, which at their lowest point become madness. This is a complete lack of mental control, a state in which he is no longer responsible for his actions. To the extent that a man approaches perfect self-control, he also approaches perfect happiness. He rises into joy and strength. The possibilities of such divine manhood are so glorious that no limit can be set to its grandeur and bliss.

If a man will understand how intimately, yea, how inseparably, self-control and happiness are associated, he has but to look into his own heart, and upon the world around, to find there the joy-destroying effects of uncontrolled tendencies. Looking upon the lives of men and women, he will perceive how the hasty word, the bitter retort, the act of deception, the blind prejudice and foolish resentment bring wretchedness and even ruin in their train. Looking into his own life, what days of consuming remorse, of restless anxiety, and of crushing sorrow rise up before his mind—periods of intense suffering through which he has passed through lack of self-control.

If a man wants to understand how closely, indeed inseparably, self-control and happiness are linked, he need only look within himself and at the world around him. There he will find how uncontrolled tendencies destroy joy. Looking at the lives of men and women, he will see how a hasty word, a bitter reply, an act of deception, blind prejudice, and foolish resentment bring misery and even ruin. Looking at his own life, he will recall days of consuming regret, restless anxiety, and crushing sorrow. These were times of intense suffering that he went through because he lacked self-control.

But in the right life, the well-governed life, the victorious life, all these things pass away. New conditions obtain, and purer, more spiritual instruments are employed for the achievement of happy ends. There is no more, remorse, because there is no more wrong-doing; there is no more anxiety, because there is no more selfishness; there is no more sorrow, because Truth is the source of action.

But in a good, self-controlled, victorious life, all these things disappear. New conditions prevail. Purer, more spiritual means are used to achieve happy ends. There is no more remorse because there is no more wrongdoing. There is no more anxiety because there is no more selfishness. There is no more sorrow because Truth is the source of action.

That much-desired thing which self pursues with breathless and uncontrolled eagerness, yet fails to overtake, comes unbidden, and begs to be admitted, to him who works and waits in perfect self-command. Hatred, impatience, greed, self-indulgence, vain ambitions, and blind desires—the instruments by which self shapes its ill-finished existence, what clumsy tools they are, and how ignorant and unskilful are they who employ them! Love, patience, kindness, self-discipline, transmuted ambitions and chastened desires—instruments of Truth, by which is shaped a well-finished existence, what perfect tools they are, and how wise and skilful are they who use them!

The thing the self desires so much is never caught, though the self pursues it with breathless, uncontrolled eagerness. Yet it comes uninvited and begs to be let in by the person who works and waits with perfect self-control. Hatred, impatience, greed, self-indulgence, empty ambitions, and blind desires are the tools the self uses to shape its imperfect life. What clumsy tools they are! And how ignorant and unskilled are those who use them! Love, patience, kindness, self-discipline, transformed ambitions, and restrained desires are tools of Truth. They shape a well-crafted life. What perfect tools they are! And how wise and skilled are those who use them!

Whatsoever is gained by feverish haste and selfish desire, is attained in fuller measure by quietness and renunciation. Nature will not be hastened. She brings all to perfection în due season. Truth will not be commanded. He has his conditions, and must be obeyed. Than haste and anger nothing is more superfluous. A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mould and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself.

Whatever is gained through frantic haste and selfish desire can be gained more fully through calm and letting go of desire. Nature cannot be rushed. She brings everything to perfection in its own time. Truth cannot be commanded. He has his conditions and must be obeyed. Nothing is more unnecessary than haste and anger. A person must learn that he cannot command events, but he can command himself. He cannot force others to do his will, but he can shape and master his own will. Events serve the person who serves Truth. People seek guidance from the person who has mastered himself.

It is a little understood, yet simple and profound truth, that the man who cannot command himself under the severest external stress, is unfit to guide others or to control affairs. It is the fundamental principle in the moral and political teaching of Confucius that, before attempting to govern affairs, a man should learn to govern himself. Men who habitually give way, under pressure, to hysterical suspicions, outbursts of resentment, and explosions of anger, are unfit for weighty responsibilities and lofty duties, and usually fail, sooner or later, even in the ordinary duties of life, such as the management of their own family or business. Lack of self-control is foolishness, and folly cannot take precedence of wisdom.

Few people understand this simple but profound truth: a man who cannot control himself under extreme external pressure is unfit to guide others or manage affairs. A central principle of Confucius's moral and political teaching is that a man should learn to govern himself before trying to govern affairs. Some men habitually give in to hysterical suspicions, outbursts of resentment, and explosions of anger under pressure. They are unfit for serious responsibilities and high duties. Sooner or later, they usually fail even at ordinary duties, such as managing their own family or business. Lack of self-control is foolishness, and foolishness cannot take precedence over wisdom.

He who is learning how to subdue and control his turbulent, wandering thoughts, is becoming wiser every day; and though for a time the Temple of Joy will not be completed, he will gather strength in laying its foundations and building up its walls; and the day will come when, like a wise master-builder, he will rest at peace in the beautiful habitation which he has built. Wisdom inheres in self-control, and in wisdom is “pleasantness and peace.”

Anyone learning to quiet and control his restless, wandering thoughts grows wiser every day. Though the Temple of Joy will not be completed for some time, he will gain strength as he lays its foundations and builds its walls. The day will come when, like a wise master builder, he will rest peacefully in the beautiful home he has built. Wisdom lies in self-control, and in wisdom there is “pleasantness and peace.”

The life of self-control is no barren deprivation, no wilderness of monotony. Renunciation there is, but it is the renunciation of the ephemeral and false in order that the abiding and true may be realized. Enjoyment is not cut off; it is intensified. Enjoyment is life; it is the slavish desire for it that kills. Is there anywhere a more miserable man than he who is always longing for some new sensation? Is there anywhere a more blessed being than he who, by self-control, is satisfied, calm, and enlightened? Who has most of physical life and joy—the glutton, the drunkard, and the sensualist who lives for pleasure only, or the temperate man who holds his body in subjection, considering its needs and obeying its uses? I was once eating a ripe, juicy apple as it came from the tree, and a man near me said, “I would give anything if I could enjoy an apple like that.” I asked, “Why can’t you?” His answer was, “I have drunk whisky and smoked tobacco until I have lost all enjoyment in such things.” In pursuit of elusive enjoyments, men lose the abiding joys of life.

A life of self-control is not an empty life of deprivation or a wilderness of monotony. There is sacrifice, but it is the sacrifice of what is fleeting and false. This makes it possible to realize what is lasting and true. Enjoyment is not cut off. It becomes more intense. Enjoyment is life. It is the slavish desire for enjoyment that kills. Is anyone more miserable than someone who is always longing for a new sensation? Is anyone more blessed than someone who is satisfied, calm, and enlightened through self-control? Who has more physical vitality and joy? Is it the glutton, the drunkard, and the sensualist who live only for pleasure? Or is it the moderate person who keeps the body under control, attending to its needs and respecting its proper uses? I was once eating a ripe, juicy apple straight from the tree. A man near me said, “I would give anything if I could enjoy an apple like that.” I asked, “Why can’t you?” He answered, “I have drunk whisky and smoked tobacco until I have lost all enjoyment in such things.” In pursuit of elusive pleasures, people lose the lasting joys of life.

And as he who controls his senses has most of physical life, and joy, and strength, so he who controls his thoughts has most of spiritual life, and bliss, and power; for not only happiness, but knowledge and wisdom also are revealed by self-control. As the avenues of ignorance and selfishness are closed; the open gates of knowledge and enlightenment appear. Virtue attained is knowledge gained. The pure mind is the enlightened mind. He has well- being who controls himself well.

Just as those who control their senses have the most physical life, joy, and strength, those who control their thoughts have the most spiritual life, bliss, and power. For self-control reveals not only happiness, but also knowledge and wisdom. As the paths of ignorance and selfishness close, the open gates of knowledge and enlightenment appear. To gain virtue is to gain knowledge. A pure mind is an enlightened mind. Those who control themselves well have well-being.

I hear men speak of “the monotony of goodness.” If longing for things in the spirit which one has given up in the letter were “goodness,” then indeed would it be monotonous. The man of self-control does not merely give up his base pleasures, he abandons all longing for them. He presses forward, and does not look back; and fresh beauties, new glories, sublimer vistas await him at every step.

I hear men speak of “the monotony of goodness.” If “goodness” meant still longing for things one had given up in practice, it would indeed be monotonous. A man with self-control does not merely give up his low pleasures. He also gives up all longing for them. He presses forward and does not look back. Fresh beauty, new glories, and more sublime views await him at every step.

I am astonished at the revelations which lie hidden in self-control; I am captivated by the infinite variety of Truth; I am filled with joy at the grandeur of the prospect; I am gladdened by its splendour and its peace.

I am amazed by what self-control can reveal. I am fascinated by the endless variety of Truth. The grandeur of what lies ahead fills me with joy. Its beauty and peace make me glad.

Along the way of self-control there is the joy of victory; the consciousness of expanding and increasing power; the acquisition of the imperishable riches of divine knowledge; and the abiding bliss of service to humankind. Even he who travels only a portion of the way will develop a strength, achieve a success, and experience a joy which the idle and the thoughtless cannot know; and he who goes all the way will become a spiritual conqueror; he will triumph over all evil, and will blot it out; he will gaze with enrapt vision upon the majesty of the Cosmic Order, and will enjoy the immortality of Truth.

Along the path of self-control, there is the joy of victory and the awareness of growing power. There is also the gain of the lasting riches of divine knowledge and the enduring bliss of serving humankind. Even someone who travels only part of the way will develop strength, achieve success, and experience joy. Those who are idle and thoughtless cannot know these things. And whoever travels the whole way will become a spiritual conqueror. They will triumph over all evil and wipe it out. They will gaze in wonder at the majesty of the Cosmic Order and enjoy the immortality of Truth.