Chapter 7

Having, for some Time past, felt a Sympathy in my Mind with Friends Eastward, I opened my Concern in our Monthly-meeting; and, obtaining a Certificate, set forward on the seventeenth Day of the fourth Month, in the Year 1760, joining in Company, by a previous Agreement, with my beloved Friend, Samuel Eastburn. We had Meetings at Woodbridge, Rahaway, and Plainfield; and were at their Monthly-meeting of Ministers and Elders in Rahaway. We laboured under some Discouragement; but, through the invisible Power of Truth, our Visit was made reviving to the Lowly-minded, with whom I felt a near Unity of Spirit, being much reduced in my Mind. We passed on and visited the chief of the Meetings on Long-Island. It was my Concern, from Day to Day, to say no more nor less than what the Spirit of Truth opened in me; being jealous over myself, lest I should speak any Thing to make my Testimony look agreeable to that Mind in People, which is not in pure Obedience to the Cross of Christ.

For some time, I had felt sympathy for Friends in the east. I shared my concern at our Monthly Meeting and obtained a certificate. On the seventeenth day of the fourth month, 1760, I set out. As we had agreed beforehand, I traveled with my beloved Friend, Samuel Eastburn. We held meetings at Woodbridge, Rahaway, and Plainfield. We also attended the Monthly Meeting of Ministers and Elders at Rahaway. We faced some discouragement. But through the invisible power of Truth, our visit revived the humble. I felt a close unity of spirit with them, having been brought very low in my own mind. We traveled on and visited most of the meetings on Long-Island. Each day, I sought to say no more and no less than the Spirit of Truth revealed in me. I watched myself carefully. I feared saying anything that would make my testimony pleasing to those who were not living in pure obedience to the Cross of Christ.

The Spring of the Ministry was often low; and, through the subjecting Power of Truth, we were kept low with it; and from Place to Place, such whose Hearts were truly concerned for the Cause of Christ, appeared to be comforted in our Labours; and though it was in general a Time of Abasement of the Creature, yet, through his Goodness, who is a Helper of the Poor, we had some truly edifying Seasons, both in Meetings, and in Families where we tarried; and sometimes found Strength to labour earnestly with the Unfaithful, especially with those whose Station in Families, or in the Society, was such, that their Example had a powerful Tendency to open the Way for others to go aside from the Purity and Soundness of the blessed Truth. At Jericho, on Long-Island, I wrote Home as follows:

The spirit of ministry was often low, and the humbling power of Truth kept us low with it. From place to place, those whose hearts were truly concerned for the cause of Christ seemed comforted by our labors. Though it was generally a time of humbling ourselves, we had some truly uplifting times. These came through the goodness of God, who helps the poor, both in meetings and in the families where we stayed. Sometimes we also found strength to labor earnestly with the unfaithful. This was especially so with those whose position in their families or in the Society made their example powerful. Their example could lead others away from the purity and soundness of the blessed Truth. At Jericho, on Long-Island, I wrote home as follows:

We crossed from the East End of Long-Island to New-London, about thirty Miles, in a large open Boat; while we were out, the Wind rising high, the Waves several Times beat over us, so that to me it appeared dangerous; but my Mind was, at that Time, turned to him, who made and governs the Deep, and my Life was resigned to him: And, as he was mercifully pleased to preserve us, I had fresh Occasion to consider every Day as a Day lent to me; and felt a renewed Engagement to devote my Time, and all I had, to him who gave them.

We crossed from the east end of Long-Island to New-London, about thirty miles, in a large open boat. While we were out, the wind grew strong, and waves broke over us several times. It seemed dangerous to me, but my thoughts turned to him who made and governs the sea. I placed my life in his hands. He mercifully chose to keep us safe, giving me fresh reason to consider each day a day lent to me. I also felt a renewed commitment to devote my time and all I had to him who gave them.

We had five Meetings in Narraganset; and went thence to Newport on Rhode-Island. Our gracious Father preserved us in an humble Dependence on him through deep Exercises, that were mortifying to the creaturely Will. In several Families in the Country, where we lodged, I felt an Engagement on my Mind to have a Conference with them in private concerning their Slaves; and, through divine Aid, I was favoured to give up thereto: Though, in this Concern, I appeared singular from many, whose Service in Travelling, I believe, is greater than mine; I do not think hard of them for omitting it; I do not repine at having so unpleasant a Task assigned me, but look with Awfulness to him, who appoints to his Servants their respective Employments, and is good to all who serve him sincerely.

We held five meetings in Narraganset, then went to Newport on Rhode-Island. Our gracious Father kept us humbly dependent on him through deep trials that humbled our worldly will. In several country families where we stayed, I felt called to speak privately with them about their slaves. With divine help, I was able to answer that call. In this matter, I acted differently from many others whose service in traveling I believe is greater than mine. Yet I do not think badly of them for not doing the same. Nor do I complain that such an unpleasant task was given to me. Instead, I look with reverence to him who assigns each of his servants their work. He is good to all who serve him sincerely.

We got to Newport in the Evening, and on the next Day visited two sick Persons, and had comfortable Sittings with them; and in the Afternoon attended the Burial of a Friend.

We arrived in Newport in the evening. The next day, we visited two sick people and had comforting meetings with them. In the afternoon, we attended the burial of a Friend.

The next Day we were at Meetings at Newport, in the Forenoon and Afternoon; where the Spring of the Ministry was opened, and Strength given to declare the Word of Life to the People.

The next day, we attended morning and afternoon meetings in Newport. There, the spring of ministry opened, and we were given strength to declare the word of life to the people.

The next Day we went on our Journey; but the great Number of Slaves in these Parts, and the Continuance of that Trade from thence to Guinea, made deep Impression on me; and my Cries were often put up to my heavenly Father in secret, that he would enable me to discharge my Duty faithfully, in such Way as he might be pleased to point out to me.

The next day we continued our journey. But the great number of slaves in these parts, and the continuing trade from there to Guinea, deeply affected me. I often prayed privately to my heavenly Father, asking him to help me faithfully do my duty in whatever way he chose to show me.

We took Swansea, Freetown, and Tanton, in our Way to Boston; where also we had a Meeting; our Exercise was deep, and the Love of Truth prevailed, for which I bless the Lord. We went Eastward about eighty Miles beyond Boston, taking Meetings, and were in a good Degree preserved in an humble Dependance on that Arm which drew us out; and, though we had some hard Labour with the Disobedient, laying Things home and close to such as were stout against the Truth; yet, through the Goodness of God, we had, at Times, to partake of heavenly Comfort with them who were meek, and were often favoured to part with Friends in the Nearness of true Gospel-fellowship. We returned to Boston, and had another comfortable Opportunity with Friends there; and thence rode back a Day's Journey Eastward of Boston: Our Guide being a heavy Man, and the Weather hot, and my Companion and I considering it, expressed our Freedom to go on without him, to which he consented, and we respectfully took our Leave of him; this we did, as believing the Journey would have been hard to him and his Horse.

We passed through Swansea, Freetown, and Tanton on our way to Boston, where we also held a meeting. We felt a deep spiritual burden, and the love of Truth prevailed, for which I bless the Lord. We traveled eastward about eighty miles beyond Boston, attending meetings along the way. We were largely kept in humble dependence on the arm of God that had led us out. Though we labored hard with the disobedient, speaking directly and plainly to those who resisted the Truth, God was good to us. At times, we shared heavenly comfort with those who were meek. We were often blessed to part from Friends in the closeness of true Gospel fellowship. We returned to Boston and had another comforting time with Friends there. From there, we rode back a day's journey east of Boston. Our guide was a heavy man, and the weather was hot. My companion and I considered this and offered to go on without him. He agreed, and we respectfully took our leave of him. We did this because we believed the journey would have been hard on him and his horse.

We visited the Meetings in those Parts, and were measurably baptized into a feeling of the State of the Society: And in Bowedness of Spirit went to the Yearly-meeting at Newport; where I understood that a large Number of Slaves were imported from Africa into that Town, and then on Sale by a Member of our Society. At this Meeting we met with John Storer from England, Elizabeth Shipley, Ann Gaunt, Hannah Foster, and Mercy Redman, from our Parts, all Ministers of the Gospel, of whose Company I was glad.

We visited the Meetings in those parts and came to feel, to some degree, the condition of the Society. With humble spirits, we went to the Yearly Meeting at Newport. There I learned that a member of our Society had imported many slaves from Africa into the town and was selling them. At this Meeting, we met John Storer from England, and Elizabeth Shipley, Ann Gaunt, Hannah Foster, and Mercy Redman from our parts. They were all ministers of the Gospel, and I was glad to be in their company.

At this Time my Appetite failed, and I grew outwardly weak, and had a Feeling of the Condition of Habakkuk as there expressed: "When I heard, my Belly trembled, my Lips quivered, I trembled in myself that I might rest in the Day of Trouble;" I had many Cogitations, and was sorely distressed: And was desirous that Friends might petition the Legislature, to use their Endeavours to discourage the future Importation of Slaves; for I saw that this Trade was a great Evil, and tended to multiply Troubles, and bring Distresses on the People in those parts, for whose Welfare my Heart was deeply concerned.

At this time, I lost my appetite and grew physically weak. I felt what Habakkuk described: "When I heard, my belly trembled, my lips quivered, and I trembled within myself so that I might rest in the day of trouble." I had many thoughts and was deeply distressed. I wanted Friends to petition the legislature to discourage the future importation of slaves. I saw that this trade was a great evil. It would increase troubles and bring distress to the people in those parts. I was deeply concerned for their welfare.

But I perceived several Difficulties in Regard to petitioning; and such was the Exercise of my Mind, that I had Thought of endeavouring to get an Opportunity to speak a few Words in the House of Assembly, then sitting in Town. This Exercise came upon me in the Afternoon, on the second Day of the Yearly-meeting, and, going to Bed, I got no Sleep till my Mind was wholly resigned therein; and in the Morning I enquired of a Friend how long the Assembly were likely to continue sitting; who told me, they were expected to be prorogued that Day or the next.

But I saw several difficulties with petitioning. I was so troubled that I thought of trying to speak briefly to the House of Assembly, which was then meeting in town. This concern came over me on the afternoon of the second day of the Yearly Meeting. I went to bed but could not sleep until I had fully resigned myself to it. In the morning, I asked a Friend how long the Assembly was likely to remain in session. He told me it was expected to be adjourned that day or the next.

As I was desirous to attend the Business of the Meeting, and perceived the Assembly were likely to depart before the Business was over; after considerable Exercise, humbly seeking to the Lord for Instruction, my Mind settled to attend on the Business of the Meeting; on the last Day of which, I had prepared a short Essay of a Petition to be presented to the Legislature, if Way opened: And being informed that there were some appointed, by that Yearly-meeting, to speak with those in Authority, in Cases relating to the Society, I opened my Mind to several of them, and shewed them the Essay I had made; and afterward opened the Case in the Meeting for Business, in Substance as follows:

I wanted to attend to the business of the meeting, but I saw that the assembly was likely to leave before the business was finished. After considerable inward struggle, I humbly sought the Lord's guidance and resolved to attend to the meeting's business. On the last day of the meeting, I prepared a short draft of a petition to present to the legislature, if the way opened. I learned that the Yearly Meeting had appointed some people to speak with those in authority about matters concerning the Society. I shared my thoughts with several of them and showed them my draft. Afterward, I brought the matter before the meeting for business, saying in substance:

"I have been under a Concern for some Time, on Account of the great Number of Slaves which are imported in this Colony; I am aware that it is a tender Point to speak to, but apprehend I am not clear in the Sight of Heaven without speaking to it. I have prepared an Essay of a Petition, if Way open, to be presented to the Legislature; and what I have to propose to this Meeting is, that some Friends may be named to withdraw and look over it, and report whether they believe it suitable to be read in the Meeting; if they should think well of reading it, it will remain for the Meeting, after hearing it, to consider, whether to take any farther Notice of it at a Meeting or not." After a short Conference some Friends went out, and, looking over it, expressed their Willingness to have it read; which being done, many expressed their Unity with the Proposal; and some signified, that to have the Subjects of the Petition enlarged upon, and to be signed out of Meeting by such as were free, would be more suitable than to do it there: Though I expected, at first, that if it was done it would be in that Way; yet, such was the Exercise of my Mind, that to move it in the hearing of Friends, when assembled, appeared to me as a Duty; for my Heart yearned toward the Inhabitants of these Parts; believing that by this Trade there had been an Increase of Inquietude amongst them, and a Way made easy for the spreading of a Spirit opposite to that Meekness and Humility, which is a sure Resting-place for the Soul: And that the Continuance of this Trade would not only render their Healing more difficult, but increase their Malady.

“For some time, I have been troubled by the great number of slaves imported into this colony. I know this is a sensitive matter. But I believe I cannot be clear in the sight of Heaven without speaking about it. I have prepared a draft petition to present to the legislature, if the way opens. I propose that this Meeting appoint some Friends to withdraw and review it. They can then report whether they believe it is suitable to be read to the Meeting. If they approve of reading it, the Meeting can hear it and consider whether to take any further notice of it at a Meeting.” After a short discussion, some Friends withdrew and reviewed the petition. They were willing to have it read, and it was read. Many expressed their agreement with the proposal. Some suggested that it would be more suitable to expand on the petition’s subjects and have it signed outside the Meeting by those who felt free to do so, rather than sign it there. At first, I had expected that, if the petition was signed, it would be done that way. Yet my mind was so troubled that I felt it was my duty to raise the matter before the assembled Friends. My heart yearned toward the inhabitants of these parts. I believed that this trade had increased their unrest. It had also made it easier for a spirit to spread among them that was opposed to meekness and humility. These are a sure resting place for the soul. I believed that continuing this trade would not only make their healing more difficult, but also increase their affliction.

Having thus far proceeded, I felt easy to leave the Essay among Friends, for them to proceed in it as they believed best. And now an Exercise revived on my Mind in Relation to Lotteries, which were common in those Parts: I had once moved it in a former Sitting of this Meeting, when Arguments were used in Favour of Friends being held excused who were only concerned in such Lotteries as were agreeable to Law: And now, on moving it again, it was opposed as before; but the Hearts of some solid Friends appeared to be united to discourage the Practice amongst their Members; and the Matter was zealously handled by some on both Sides. In this Debate it appeared very clear to me, that the Spirit of Lotteries was a Spirit of Selfishness, which tended to Confusion and Darkness of Understanding; and that pleading for it in our Meetings, set apart for the Lord's Work, was not right: And, in the Heat of Zeal, I once made Reply to what an ancient Friend said, though when I sat down, I saw that my Words were not enough seasoned with Charity; and, after this, I spake no more on the Subject. At length a Minute was made; a Copy of which was agreed to be sent to their several Quarterly-meetings, inciting Friends to labour to discourage the Practice amongst all professing with us.

Having brought the Essay this far, I felt at ease leaving it with Friends to proceed as they thought best. Then my concern about lotteries, which were common in those parts, returned. I had raised the matter at an earlier sitting of this Meeting. Arguments had been made then that Friends should be excused if they took part only in lotteries allowed by law. When I raised the matter again, it met with the same opposition. But some sound Friends seemed united in wanting to discourage the practice among their members. Some on both sides argued passionately. During the debate, I saw very clearly that the spirit of lotteries was a spirit of selfishness. It tended to bring confusion and darken understanding. I also saw that arguing in favor of lotteries was wrong in our Meetings, which were set apart for the Lord’s work. In the heat of my zeal, I once replied to an elderly Friend. But when I sat down, I saw that my words had not been charitable enough. After that, I said no more on the subject. At last, a minute was drawn up. Friends agreed to send a copy to each of their Quarterly Meetings. It urged Friends to work to discourage the practice among all who shared our faith.

Some Time after this Minute was made, I, remaining uneasy with the Manner of my speaking to the ancient Friend, could not see my Way clear to conceal my Uneasiness, but was concerned that I might say nothing to weaken the Cause in which I had laboured; and then, after some close Exercise and hearty Repentance, for that I had not attended closely to the safe Guide, I stood up, and reciting the Passage, acquainted Friends, that, though I durst not go from what I had said as to the Matter, yet I was uneasy with the Manner of my speaking, as believing milder Language would have been better. As this was uttered in some Degree of creaturely Abasement, it appeared to have a good Savour amongst us, after a warm Debate.

Some time after this minute was recorded, I still felt uneasy about how I had spoken to the elderly Friend. I could not feel right keeping my uneasiness to myself. But I was concerned not to say anything that would weaken the cause I had worked for. After much inward struggle, I sincerely repented for not paying close attention to the safe guide. Then I stood up, recounted what had happened, and spoke to the Friends. I told them that, although I could not take back what I had said, I felt uneasy about how I had said it. I believed gentler words would have been better. Because I spoke with some sense of human humility, my words seemed to be well received among us after a heated debate.

The Yearly-meeting being now over, there yet remained on my Mind a secret, though heavy, Exercise in regard to some leading active Members about Newport, being in the Practice of Slave-keeping. This I mentioned to two ancient Friends, who came out of the Country, and proposed to them, if Way opened, to have some Conversation with those Friends: And, thereupon, one of those Country Friends and I consulted one of the most noted Elders who had Slaves; and he, in a respectful Manner, encouraged me to proceed to clear myself of what lay upon me. Now I had, near the Beginning of the Yearly-meeting, a private Conference with this said Elder and his Wife concerning theirs; so that the Way seemed clear to me to advise with him about the Manner of proceeding: I told him, I was free to have a Conference with them all together in a private House; or, if he thought they would take it unkind to be asked to come together, and to be spoke with one in the hearing of another, I was free to spend some Time among them, and visit them all in their own Houses: He expressed his Liking to the first Proposal, not doubting their Willingness to come together: And, as I proposed a Visit to only Ministers, Elders, and Overseers, he named some others, who he desired might be present also: And, as a careful Messenger was wanted to acquaint them in a proper Manner, he offered to go to all their Houses to open the Matter to them; and did so. About the eighth Hour, the next Morning, we met in the Meeting-house Chamber, and the last-mentioned Country Friend, also my Companion, and John Storer, with us; when, after a short Time of Retirement, I acquainted them with the Steps I had taken in procuring that Meeting, and opened the Concern I was under; and so we proceeded to a free Conference upon the Subject. My Exercise was heavy, and I was deeply bowed in Spirit before the Lord, who was pleased to favour us with the seasoning Virtue of Truth, which wrought a Tenderness amongst us; and the Subject was mutually handled in a calm and peaceable Spirit: And, at length, feeling my Mind released from that Burthen which I had been under, I took my Leave of them, in a good Degree of Satisfaction; and, by the Tenderness they manifested in Regard to the Practice, and the Concern several of them expressed in Relation to the Manner of disposing of their Negroes after their Decease, I believed that a good Exercise was spreading amongst them; and I am humbly thankful to God, who supported my Mind, and preserved me in a good Degree of Resignation through these Trials.

The Yearly-meeting was now over, but a private and heavy concern remained on my mind. Some leading, active Members around Newport kept slaves. I mentioned this to two elderly Friends who had come from the country. I proposed speaking with those Friends if a way opened for it. One of the country Friends and I then consulted a well-known Elder who had slaves. He respectfully encouraged me to proceed and relieve myself of what weighed on me. Near the beginning of the Yearly-meeting, I had spoken privately with this Elder and his wife about their slaves. So I felt free to ask his advice about how to proceed. I told him I was willing to meet all the Friends together in a private house. But they might take offense at being asked to meet and speak in one another’s hearing. If he thought so, I was willing to spend some time visiting each of them at home. He preferred the first proposal and had no doubt they would be willing to meet. I had proposed visiting only Ministers, Elders, and Overseers. He named some others whom he also wanted present. We needed a careful messenger to tell them about the meeting in a proper way. He offered to go to each of their houses and explain the matter, and he did so. We met in the Meeting-house Chamber at about eight the next morning. The country Friend I have mentioned, my Companion, and John Storer were also with us. After a short time of quiet reflection, I told them how I had arranged the meeting. I then explained the concern that weighed on me, and we spoke openly about it. The burden was heavy, and I was deeply humbled in spirit before the Lord. He was pleased to favor us with the gentle influence of Truth, which brought tenderness among us. We discussed the subject together in a calm and peaceful spirit. At last, I felt my mind released from the burden I had carried. I took my leave of them with a good measure of satisfaction. They had shown tenderness about the practice, and several had expressed concern about what would become of their Negroes after their deaths. From this, I believed that a good concern was spreading among them. I am humbly thankful to God, who supported my mind and kept me in a good measure of resignation through these trials.

Thou, who sometimes travellest in the Work of the Ministry, art made very welcome by thy Friends, and seest many Tokens of their Satisfaction, in having thee for their Guest, it is good for thee to dwell deep, that thou mayst feel and understand the Spirits of People: If we believe Truth points towards a Conference on some Subjects, in a private Way, it is needful for us to take heed that their Kindness, their Freedom, and Affability, do not hinder us from the Lord's Work. I have seen that, in the midst of Kindness and smooth Conduct, to speak close and home to them who entertain us, on Points that relate to their outward Interest, is hard Labour; and sometimes, when I have felt Truth lead toward it, I have found myself disqualified by a superficial Friendship; and as the Sense thereof hath abased me, and my Cries have been to the Lord, so I have been humbled and made content to appear weak, or as a Fool for his Sake; and thus a Door hath opened to enter upon it. To attempt to do the Lord's Work in our own Way, and to speak of that which is the Burthen of the Word in a Way easy to the natural Part, doth not reach the Bottom of the Disorder. To see the Failings of our Friends and think hard of them, without opening that which we ought to open, and still carry a Face of Friendship; this tends to undermine the Foundation of true Unity.

You who sometimes travel in the work of ministry are warmly welcomed by your Friends. You see many signs that they are pleased to have you as their guest. It is good to look deeply inward, so that you can feel and understand people's spirits. We may believe that Truth is guiding us to discuss certain subjects in private. If so, we must take care that their kindness, openness, and friendliness do not hinder us from doing the Lord's work. I have seen how hard it is to speak frankly to our hosts about matters affecting their material interests. It is hard even when they are kind and gracious. Sometimes I have felt Truth leading me to speak, but found that a superficial friendship had made me unfit to do so. Realizing this brought me low, and I cried out to the Lord. I was humbled and became willing to appear weak or foolish for his sake. Then a way opened for me to speak. If we try to do the Lord's work in our own way, we do not reach the root of the disorder. Nor do we reach it if we speak about the burden of the Word in a way that feels comfortable to our natural selves. We may see our Friends' faults and think badly of them without speaking about what we ought to speak about. If we do this while still acting friendly, we risk undermining the foundation of true unity.

The Office of a Minister of Christ is weighty; and they, who go forth as Watchmen, had need to be steadily on their Guard against the Snares of Prosperity and an outside Friendship.

The role of a minister of Christ carries great responsibility. Those who go out as watchmen must remain on guard against the traps of prosperity and superficial friendship.

After the Yearly-meeting, we were at Meetings at New-Town, Cushnet, Long-Plain, Rochester, and Dartmouth: From thence we sailed for Nantucket, in Company with Ann Gaunt and Mercy Redman, and several other Friends: The Wind being slack, we only reached Tarpawling-Cove the first Day; where, going on Shore, we found Room in a Publick-house, and Beds for a few of us, the rest sleeping on the Floor: We went on board again about Break of Day; and, though the Wind was small, we were favoured to come within about four Miles of Nantucket; and then, about ten of us getting into our Boat, we rowed to the Harbour before dark; whereupon a large Boat, going off, brought in the rest of the Passengers about Midnight: The next Day but one was their Yearly-meeting, which held four Days; the last of which was their Monthly-meeting for Business. We had a laborious Time amongst them: Our Minds were closely exercised, and I believe it was a Time of great Searching of Heart: The longer I was on the Island, the more I became sensible that there was a considerable Number of valuable Friends there, though an evil Spirit, tending to Strife, had been at Work amongst them: I was cautious of making any Visits, but as my Mind was particularly drawn to them; and in that Way we had some Sittings in Friends Houses, where the heavenly Wing was, at Times, spread over us, to our mutual Comfort.

After the Yearly Meeting, we attended meetings at New-Town, Cushnet, Long-Plain, Rochester, and Dartmouth. From there we sailed for Nantucket with Ann Gaunt, Mercy Redman, and several other Friends. The wind was light, so we reached only Tarpawling-Cove on the first day. We went ashore and found room at an inn, with beds for a few of us. The rest slept on the floor. We went aboard again at daybreak. Though the wind was light, we were favored to come within about four miles of Nantucket. Then about ten of us got into our boat and rowed to the harbor before dark. A large boat then went out and brought the remaining passengers in around midnight. Two days later, their Yearly Meeting began and lasted four days. On the last day, they held their Monthly Meeting for business. We had a difficult time among them. Our minds were deeply troubled, and I believe it was a time of great searching of heart. The longer I stayed on the island, the more I realized that many worthy Friends lived there. Yet an evil spirit that stirred up strife had been at work among them. I was careful to make visits only when I felt especially drawn to do so. In this way, we held some meetings in Friends' homes. At times, the heavenly wing was spread over us there, to our mutual comfort.

My beloved Companion had very acceptable Service on this Island.

My beloved companion’s service on this island was very well received.

When Meeting was over, we all agreed to sail the next Day, if the Weather was suitable and we well; and, being called up the latter Part of the Night, we went on board a Vessel, being in all about fifty; but, the Wind changing, the Seamen thought best to stay in the Harbour till it altered; so we returned on Shore; and, feeling clear as to any farther Visits, I spent my Time in our Chamber chiefly alone; and, after some Hours, my Heart being filled with the Spirit of Supplication, my Prayers and Tears were poured out, before my heavenly Father, for his Help and Instruction in the manifold Difficulties which attended me in Life: And, while I was waiting upon the Lord, there came a Messenger from the Women Friends, who lodged at another House, desiring to confer with us about appointing a Meeting, which to me appeared weighty, as we had been at so many before; but, after a short Conference, and advising with some elderly Friends, a Meeting was appointed, in which the Friend, who first moved it, and who had been much shut up before, was largely opened in the Love of the Gospel: And the next Morning, about Break of Day, going again on board the Vessel, we reached Falmouth on the Main before Night; where our Horses being brought, we proceeded toward Sandwich Quarterly-meeting.

When Meeting ended, we all agreed to sail the next day, if the weather was suitable and we were well. We were called up late that night and went aboard a vessel, about fifty of us in all. But the wind changed, and the sailors thought it best to stay in the harbor until it changed again. So we returned ashore. Feeling that I had no further visits to make, I spent my time in our room, mostly alone. After some hours, my heart filled with the spirit of prayer. I poured out my prayers and tears before my heavenly Father, asking for his help and guidance through life's many difficulties. While I was waiting upon the Lord, a messenger came from the women Friends, who were staying at another house. They wanted to discuss holding a Meeting. This seemed a weighty matter to me, since we had already attended so many Meetings. But after a short discussion and some advice from elderly Friends, a Meeting was arranged. There, the Friend who had first suggested it spoke freely in the love of the Gospel, though she had been unable to speak much before. The next morning, about daybreak, we went aboard the vessel again and reached Falmouth on the mainland before night. Our horses were brought to us there, and we continued toward Sandwich Quarterly Meeting.

Being two Days in going to Nantucket, and having been there once before, I observed many Shoals in their Bay, which make Sailing more dangerous, especially in stormy Nights; also, that a great Shoal, which encloses their Harbour, prevents their going in with Sloops, except when the Tide is up; waiting without which, for the Rising of the Tide, is sometimes hazardous in Storms; waiting within, they sometimes miss a fair Wind. I took Notice, that on that small Island was a great Number of Inhabitants, and the Soil not very fertile; the Timber so gone, that for Vessels, Fences, and Firewood, they depend chiefly on the buying from the Main; the Cost whereof, with most of their other Expences, they depend principally upon the Whale-fishery to answer. I considered, that as Towns grew larger, and Lands near navigable Waters more cleared, Timber and Wood require more Labour to get it: I understood that the Whales being much hunted, and sometimes wounded and not killed, grew more shy and difficult to come at: I considered that the Formation of the Earth, the Seas, the Islands, Bays, and Rivers, the Motions of the Winds and great Waters, which cause Bars and Shoals in particular Places, were all the Works of him who is perfect Wisdom and Goodness; and, as People attend to his heavenly Instruction, and put their Trust in him, he provides for them in all Parts where he gives them a Being. And as, in this Visit to these People, I felt a strong Desire for their firm Establishment on the sure Foundation, besides what was said more publickly, I was concerned to speak with the Women Friends, in their Monthly-meeting of Business, many being present; and, in the fresh Spring of pure Love, to open before them the Advantage, both inward and outward, of attending singly to the Guidance of the Holy Spirit, and therein to educate their Children in true Humility, and the Disuse of all Superfluities, reminding them of the Difficulties their Husbands and Sons were frequently exposed to at Sea; and that, the more plain and simple their Way of Living was, the less Need of running great Hazards to support them in it; encouraging the young Women in their neat decent Way of attending themselves on the Affairs of the House; shewing, as the Way opened, that, where People were truly humble, used themselves to Business, and were content with a plain Way of Life, it had ever been attended with more true Peace and Calmness of Mind, than they have had who, aspiring to Greatness and outward Shew, have grasped hard for an Income to support themselves in it: And, as I observed they had few or no Slaves amongst them, I had to encourage them to be content without them; making mention of the numerous Troubles and Vexations which frequently attend the Minds of People who depend on Slaves to do their Labour.

It took two days to reach Nantucket, and I had been there once before. I noticed many shoals in its bay, which make sailing more dangerous, especially on stormy nights. A great shoal also encloses the harbor, preventing sloops from entering except at high tide. Waiting outside for the tide to rise is sometimes dangerous during storms. Those who wait inside sometimes miss a favorable wind. I noticed that the small island had many inhabitants, but its soil was not very fertile. So much timber was gone that the inhabitants depended chiefly on purchases from the mainland for vessels, fences, and firewood. They depended mainly on whaling to pay for these and most of their other expenses. I reflected that, as towns grew larger and land near navigable waters was cleared, obtaining timber and wood required more labor. I also learned that whales had become harder to approach. They had grown wary from being hunted so often and sometimes wounded without being killed. I reflected that the earth, seas, islands, bays, and rivers were all formed by him who is perfect wisdom and goodness. The movements of the winds and great waters, which cause bars and shoals in certain places, were also his work. As people listen to his heavenly instruction and trust in him, he provides for them wherever he gives them life. During this visit, I felt a strong desire for these people to be firmly established on the sure foundation. Besides what I said more publicly, I felt called to speak with the women Friends at their monthly business meeting. Many were present. In a fresh wellspring of pure love, I explained the inward and outward benefits of attending solely to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I urged them to follow that guidance in raising their children in true humility and without unnecessary things. I reminded them of the difficulties their husbands and sons often faced at sea. The plainer and simpler their way of life, the less need there would be to risk great dangers to support it. I encouraged the young women in their neat and decent practice of attending to household affairs themselves. As the way opened, I showed that truly humble people who applied themselves to work and were content with a plain life had always enjoyed more true peace and calm of mind. They had enjoyed more than those who aspired to greatness and outward show and struggled to earn enough to support that life. I also noticed that they had few or no slaves among them, and I felt called to encourage them to be content without slaves. I mentioned the many troubles and worries that often weigh on the minds of people who depend on slaves for their labor.

We attended the Quarterly-meeting at Sandwich, in Company with Ann Gaunt and Mercy Redman, which was preceded by a Monthly-meeting; and in the whole held three Days: We were various Ways exercised amongst them, in Gospel-love, according to the several Gifts bestowed on us; and were, at Times, overshadowed with the Virtue of Truth, to the Comfort of the Sincere, and stirring up of the Negligent. Here we parted with Ann and Mercy, and went to Rhode-Island, taking one Meeting in our Way, which was a satisfactory Time; and, reaching Newport the Evening before their Quarterly-meeting, we attended it; and, after that, had a Meeting with our young People, separated from those of other Societies. We went through much Labour in this Town; and now, in taking Leave of it, though I felt close inward Exercise to the last, I found inward Peace; and was, in some Degree, comforted, in a Belief, that a good Number remain in that Place, who retain a Sense of Truth; and that there are some young People attentive to the Voice of the heavenly Shepherd. The last Meeting, in which Friends from the several Parts of the Quarter came together, was a select Meeting; and, through the renewed Manifestation of the Father's Love, the Hearts of the Sincere were united together.

We attended the Quarterly Meeting at Sandwich with Ann Gaunt and Mercy Redman. A Monthly Meeting came before it, and together the meetings lasted three days. Among those gathered, we were called to labor in various ways, in gospel love, according to the different gifts bestowed on us. At times, we were overshadowed by the power of Truth. This comforted the sincere and stirred up the negligent. Here we parted from Ann and Mercy and went to Rhode-Island. On the way, we attended a meeting that was a satisfactory time. We reached Newport on the evening before its Quarterly Meeting and attended it. Afterward, we held a meeting with our young people, apart from those of other religious societies. We labored much in this town. When I took leave of it, I felt deep inward struggle to the last, yet I found inward peace. I was also comforted in some degree by the belief that many people there retained a sense of Truth. I believed, too, that some young people were attentive to the voice of the heavenly Shepherd. The last gathering of Friends from the several parts of the Quarter was a select meeting. Through a renewed showing of the Father's love, the hearts of the sincere were united.

That Poverty of Spirit, and inward Weakness, with which I was much tried the fore Part of this Journey, have of late appeared to me as a Dispensation of Kindness. Appointing Meetings never appeared more weighty to me; and I was led into a deep Search, whether in all Things my Mind was resigned to the Will of God; often querying with myself, what should be the Cause of such inward Poverty; and greatly desired, that no secret Reserve in my Heart might hinder my Access to the divine Fountain. In these humbling Times I was made watchful, and excited to attend the secret Movings of the heavenly Principle in my Mind, which prepared the Way to some Duties, that in more easy and prosperous Times, as to the Outward, I believe I should have been in danger of omitting.

The poverty of spirit and inner weakness that troubled me early in this journey have lately seemed like a kindness. Arranging meetings had never seemed more important to me. I searched deeply to see whether my mind was fully surrendered to God’s will in all things. I often asked myself what caused this inner poverty. I greatly wished that no hidden reservation in my heart would keep me from reaching the divine fountain. These humbling times made me watchful and moved me to attend to the quiet stirrings of the heavenly principle within me. This prepared me for some duties that I believe I might have neglected in easier and outwardly more prosperous times.

From Newport we went to Greenwich, Shanticut, and Warwick; and were helped to labour amongst Friends in the Love of our gracious Redeemer: And then, accompanied by our Friend, John Casey, from Newport, we rode through Connecticut to Oblong, visited the Meetings of Friends in those Parts, and thence proceeded to the Quarterly-meeting at Ryewoods; and, through the gracious Extendings of divine Help, had some seasoning Opportunities in those Places: So we visited Friends at New York and Flushing; and thence to Rahaway: And here, our Roads parting, I took Leave of my beloved Companion, and true Yoke-mate, Samuel Eastburn; and reached Home on the tenth Day of the eighth Month, 1760, where I found my Family well: And, for the Favours and Protection of the Lord, both inward and outward, extended to me in this Journey, my Heart is humbled in grateful Acknowledgments; and I find renewed Desires to dwell and walk in Resignedness before him.

From Newport we went to Greenwich, Shanticut, and Warwick. We were helped to work among Friends in the love of our gracious Redeemer. Then, accompanied by our friend John Casey of Newport, we rode through Connecticut to Oblong. We visited Friends’ meetings in those parts and then went to the quarterly meeting at Ryewoods. Through God’s gracious help, we had some spiritually strengthening times in those places. We then visited Friends at New York and Flushing, and from there went to Rahaway. There our paths parted, and I said goodbye to my beloved companion and faithful partner in the work, Samuel Eastburn. I reached home on the tenth day of the eighth month, 1760, and found my family well. My heart is humbled in gratitude for the Lord’s favors and protection, both inward and outward, during this journey. I feel a renewed desire to live and walk in submission to him.