Chapter 9

The latter Part of the Summer, 1763, there came a Man to Mount-Holly, who had before published, by a printed Advertisement, that, at a certain Publick-house, he would shew many wonderful Operations, which he therein enumerated.

In the late summer of 1763, a man came to Mount-Holly. He had previously published an advertisement listing many wonderful feats he would show at a certain public house.

This Man, at the Time appointed, did, by slight of Hand, sundry Things; which, to those gathered, appeared strange.

At the appointed time, this man performed several sleight-of-hand tricks. The tricks seemed strange to those gathered.

The next Day, I, hearing of it, and understanding that the Shew was to be continued the next Night, and the People to meet about Sun-set, felt an Exercise on that Account: So I went to the Publick-house in the Evening, and told the Man of the House that I had an Inclination to spend a Part of the Evening there; with which he signified that he was content. Then, sitting down by the Door, I spake to the People as they came together, concerning this Shew; and, more coming and sitting down with us, the Seats of the Door were mostly filled; and I had Conversation with them in the Fear of the Lord, and laboured to convince them that, thus assembling to see those Tricks or Slights of Hand, and bestowing their Money to support Men, who, in that Capacity, were of no Use in the World, was contrary to the Nature of the Christian Religion.

The next day, I heard about the show and learned that it would continue the following night. People were to gather around sunset, and I felt troubled about it. So that evening I went to the public house and told the owner I wished to spend part of the evening there. He said he was willing. I sat down by the door and spoke to people about the show as they gathered. More people came and sat down with us, until most of the seats by the door were filled. I spoke with them in the fear of the Lord. I tried to convince them that gathering to watch those tricks or sleights of hand was contrary to the nature of the Christian religion. So too was paying money to support men who, in that role, were of no use in the world.

There was one of the Company, who, for a Time, endeavoured, by Arguments, to shew the Reasonableness of their Proceedings herein; but, after considering some Texts of Scripture, and calmly debating the Matter, he gave up the Point. So, having spent about an Hour amongst them, and feeling my Mind easy, I departed.

For a time, one person in the group argued that their actions in this matter were reasonable. But after considering some passages of Scripture and calmly debating the matter, he conceded the point. So, after spending about an hour with them, I felt at ease and left.

At our Yearly-meeting at Philadelphia, on the twenty-fifth Day of the ninth Month, 1764, John Smith, of Marlborough, aged upwards of eighty Years, a faithful Minister, though not eloquent, stood up in our Meeting of Ministers and Elders, and, appearing to be under a great Exercise of Spirit, informed Friends in Substance as follows: to wit, "That he had been a Member of the Society upwards of sixty Years, and well remembered, that in those early Times Friends were a plain lowly-minded People; and that there was much Tenderness and Contrition in their Meetings.—That, at twenty Years from that Time, the Society, increasing in Wealth, and in some Degree conforming to the Fashions of the World, true Humility was less apparent, and their Meetings, in general, not so lively and edifying.—That, at the End of forty Years, many of them were grown very rich; that wearing of fine costly Garments, and using of silver (and other) Watches, became customary with them, their Sons and their Daughters, and many of the Society made a specious Appearance in the World; which Marks of outward Wealth and Greatness appeared on some in our Meetings of Ministers and Elders; and as these Things became more prevalent, so the powerful Overshadowings of the Holy Ghost were less manifest in the Society.—That there had been a continued Increase of these Ways of Life even until now; and that the Weakness which hath now overspread the Society, and the Barrenness manifest amongst us, are Matter of much Sorrow." He then mentioned the Uncertainty of his attending these Meetings in future, expecting his Dissolution was now near; and, having tenderly expressed his Concern for us, signified that he had seen in the true Light that the Lord would bring back his People from these Things into which they were thus degenerated; but that his faithful Servants must first go through great and heavy Exercises therein.

At our Yearly Meeting in Philadelphia on September 25, 1764, John Smith of Marlborough stood up in the meeting of ministers and elders. He was over eighty years old and a faithful minister, though not an eloquent one. He seemed deeply troubled in spirit and told Friends, in substance: "That he had been a member of the Society for more than sixty years. He remembered well that in those early days Friends were a plain, humble people. Their meetings were marked by much tenderness and heartfelt sorrow for wrongdoing. Twenty years later, the Society had grown wealthier and had adopted some of the world's fashions. True humility was less evident, and their meetings were generally less lively and uplifting. "By the end of forty years, many Friends had become very rich. Fine, costly clothes and silver and other watches had become customary among them and their sons and daughters. Many members of the Society presented an impressive appearance in the world. Some in our meetings of ministers and elders bore these signs of outward wealth and greatness. As such things became more common, the powerful presence of the Holy Ghost was less evident in the Society. "These ways of life had continued to spread up to the present. The weakness that now covered the Society and the spiritual barrenness evident among us were a cause of great sorrow." He then spoke of his uncertainty about attending these meetings again, since he expected to die soon. After tenderly expressing his concern for us, he said he had seen in the true light that the Lord would bring his people back from the ways into which they had fallen. But first, his faithful servants would have to pass through great and heavy spiritual trials in that work.

On the twenty-ninth Day, the Committee, appointed by the Yearly-meeting to visit the Quarterly and Monthly-meetings, now gave an Account in Writing of their Proceedings in that Service; in which they signified, that, in the Course of it, they had been apprehensive that some Persons holding Offices in Government, inconsistent with our Principles, and others, who kept Slaves, remaining active Members in our Meetings of Discipline, had been one Means of Weakness more and more prevailing in the Management thereof in some Places. After this Report was read, an Exercise revived on my Mind, which, at Times, had attended me several Years, and inward Cries to the Lord were raised in me, that the Fear of Man might not prevent me from doing what he required of me; and standing up, I spake in Substance as follows: "I have felt a Tenderness in my Mind, towards Persons, in two Circumstances mentioned in that Report; that is, toward such active Members as keep Slaves, and such as hold Offices in civil Government; and have desired, that Friends, in all their Conduct, may be kindly affectioned one toward another. Many Friends, who keep Slaves, are under some Exercise on that Account; and, at Times, think about trying them with Freedom; but find many Things in their Way: And the Way of Living, and annual Expences of some of them, are such, that it seems impracticable for them to set their Slaves free, without changing their own Way of Life. It has been my Lot to be often abroad; and I have observed in some Places, at Quarterly and Yearly-meetings, and at some Houses where travelling Friends and their Horses are often entertained, that the yearly Expence of Individuals therein is very considerable: And Friends, in some Places, crouding much on Persons in these Circumstances for Entertainment, hath often rested as a Burthen on my Mind for some Years past; and I now express it in the Fear of the Lord, greatly desiring that Friends now present may duly consider it."

On the twenty-ninth day, the committee gave a written account of their work. The Yearly Meeting had appointed them to visit the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings. They reported a concern that had arisen during their visits. Some active members of the Meetings of Discipline held government offices inconsistent with Friends’ principles, and others kept slaves. The committee believed this had contributed to growing weakness in the conduct of those meetings in some places. After the report was read, a concern returned to my mind that had troubled me at times for several years. I cried inwardly to the Lord, asking that fear of other people would not prevent me from doing what he required. I stood up and said, in substance: "I have felt tenderness toward people in the two circumstances mentioned in that report. These are active members who keep slaves and those who hold offices in civil government. I have wished that Friends would show kindness and affection toward one another in all their conduct. "Many Friends who keep slaves are troubled about it. At times they consider trying to give their slaves freedom, but find many things in their way. The way some of them live and their yearly expenses make it seem impractical to free their slaves without changing their own way of life. "I have often had occasion to travel. In some places, at Quarterly and Yearly Meetings and at certain homes, I have observed that individuals spend very large sums each year. These homes often provide lodging and food for traveling Friends and their horses. For some years, it has often weighed on my mind that Friends in some places crowd upon people in these circumstances for hospitality. I now say this in the fear of the Lord, deeply hoping that the Friends present will give it due consideration."

In the Fall of this Year, having hired a Man to work, I perceived, in Conversation, that he had been a Soldier in the late War on this Continent; and, in the Evening, giving a Narrative of his Captivity amongst the Indians, he informed me that he saw two of his Fellow-captives tortured to Death in a very cruel Manner.

That fall, I hired a man to work for me. In conversation, I learned that he had been a soldier in the recent war on this continent. That evening, he told me about his captivity among the Indians. He said he had seen two of his fellow captives tortured to death in a very cruel way.

This Relation affected me with Sadness, under which I went to Bed; and, the next Morning, soon after I awoke, a fresh and living Sense of divine Love was spread over my Mind; in which I had a renewed Prospect of the Nature of that Wisdom from above, which leads to a right Use of all Gifts, both spiritual and temporal, and gives Content therein: Under a Feeling thereof, I wrote as follows:

This account saddened me, and I went to bed feeling sad. The next morning, soon after I woke, a fresh and vivid sense of divine love filled my mind. In that love, I gained a renewed understanding of the nature of wisdom from above. This wisdom leads us to use all gifts rightly, both spiritual and material, and gives us contentment in doing so. With this feeling, I wrote the following:

"Hath he, who gave me a Being attended with many Wants unknown to Brute-creatures, given me a Capacity superior to theirs; and shewn me, that a moderate Application to Business is proper to my present Condition; and that this, attended with his Blessing, may supply all outward Wants, while they remain within the Bounds he hath fixed; and no imaginary Wants, proceeding from an evil Spirit, have any Place in me? Attend then, O my Soul! to this pure Wisdom, as thy sure Conductor through the manifold Dangers in this World.

"Has he who gave me life also given me abilities greater than those of animals? My life has many needs that animals do not have. Has he shown me that a moderate amount of work is right for my present condition? And has he shown me that this work, with his blessing, may supply all my material needs? This is so as long as those needs remain within the limits he has set, and no imaginary needs arising from an evil spirit take hold in me. Then, O my soul, attend to this pure wisdom. It will guide you safely through the many dangers of this world.

"Doth Pride lead to Vanity? Doth Vanity form imaginary Wants? Do these Wants prompt Men to exert their Power in requiring that of others, which they themselves would rather be excused from, were the same required of them?

"Does pride lead to vanity? Does vanity create imaginary needs? Do these needs prompt people to use their power to demand things of others? Would they rather be excused from doing those same things if others demanded them of them?

"Do these Proceedings beget hard Thoughts? Do hard Thoughts, when ripe, become Malice? Does Malice, when ripe, become revengeful; and, in the End, inflict terrible Pains on their Fellow-creatures, and spread Desolation in the World?

"Do these actions give rise to hostile thoughts? Do hostile thoughts, as they grow, become malice? Does malice, as it grows, become a desire for revenge? And does it eventually cause people to inflict terrible pain on their fellow creatures and spread devastation in the world?

"Doth Mankind, walking in Uprightness, delight in each other's Happiness? And do these Creatures, capable of this Attainment, by giving way to an evil Spirit, employ their Wit and Strength to afflict and destroy one another?

"Do people who live uprightly delight in each other's happiness? And do these same people, capable of such delight, give in to an evil spirit and use their intelligence and strength to hurt and destroy one another?

"Remember then, O my Soul! the Quietude of those in whom Christ governs, and in all thy Proceedings feel after it.

"Remember, my soul, the peace of those governed by Christ. Seek that peace in everything you do.

"Doth he condescend to bless thee with his Presence? To move and influence to Action? To dwell in thee, and walk in thee? Remember then thy Station, as a Being sacred to God; accept of the Strength freely offered thee; and take heed that no Weakness, in conforming to expensive, unwise, and hard-hearted, Customs, gendering to Discord and Strife, be given way to. Doth he claim my Body as his Temple, and graciously grant that I may be sacred to him? O! that I may prize this Favour; and that my whole Life may be conformable to this Character!

"Does he graciously bless you with his presence? Does he move and guide you to act? Does he dwell and walk within you? Then remember your place as a being sacred to God. Accept the strength he freely offers you. Take care not to give in to the weakness of following expensive, unwise, and hard-hearted customs that breed discord and strife. Does he claim my body as his temple and graciously allow me to be sacred to him? Oh, may I treasure this favor, and may my whole life reflect it!"

"Remember, O my Soul! that the Prince of Peace is thy Lord: That he communicates his unmixed Wisdom to his Family; that they, living in perfect Simplicity, may give no just Cause of Offence to any Creature, but may walk as he walked."

"Remember, my soul, that the Prince of Peace is your Lord. He shares his pure wisdom with his family. So, living in perfect simplicity, they may give no creature just cause for offense, but may walk as he walked."

Having felt an Openness in my Heart toward visiting Families in our own Meeting, and especially in the Town of Mount-Holly, the Place of my Abode, I mentioned it in our Monthly-meeting the Fore-part of the Winter, 1764; which being agreed to, and several Friends of our Meeting being united in the Exercise, we proceeded therein; and, through divine Favour, were helped in the Work, so that it appeared to me as a fresh reviving of godly Care amongst Friends: And, the latter Part of the same Winter, I joined my Friend William Jones, in a Visit to Friends Families in Mansfield; in which Labour I had Cause to admire the Goodness of the Lord towards us.

I felt in my heart that I should visit families in our own Meeting, especially in Mount-Holly, where I lived. I mentioned this at our Monthly Meeting early in the winter of 1764. The Meeting agreed, and several Friends joined me in the work. Through divine favor, we were helped in this work. It seemed to me that a godly concern had been newly awakened among Friends. Later that winter, I joined my Friend William Jones in visiting Friends’ families in Mansfield. In this work, I had reason to admire the goodness of the Lord toward us.

Having felt my Mind drawn toward a Visit to Friends along the Sea-coast from Cape-May to near Squan; and also to visit some People in those Parts, amongst whom there is no settled Worship; I joined with my beloved Friend, Benjamin Jones, in a Visit there, having Friends Unity therein: And, setting off the twenty-fourth Day of the tenth Month, 1765, we had a prosperous and very satisfactory Journey; feeling, at Times, through the Goodness of the heavenly Shepherd, the Gospel to flow freely toward a poor People scattered in those Places: And soon after our Return, I joined my Friends, John Sleeper and Elizabeth Smith, in visiting Friends Families at Burlington, there being at this Time about fifty Families of our Society in that City; and we had Cause humbly to adore our heavenly Father, who baptized us into a Feeling of the State of the People, and strengthened us to labour in true Gospel-love amongst them.

I felt drawn to visit Friends along the coast from Cape-May to near Squan. I also felt drawn to visit people there who had no established worship. With the unity of Friends, I joined my beloved friend Benjamin Jones in this visit. We set out on the twenty-fourth day of the tenth month, 1765. Our journey went well and was very satisfying. At times, through the goodness of the heavenly Shepherd, we felt the Gospel flow freely toward poor people scattered throughout those places. Soon after our return, I joined my friends John Sleeper and Elizabeth Smith in visiting Friends’ families in Burlington. At that time, about fifty families of our Society lived in the city. We had reason to adore our heavenly Father in humility. He baptized us into a feeling of the people’s condition and strengthened us to labor among them in true Gospel love.

An Exercise having, at Times, for several Years attended me, in regard to paying a religious Visit to Friends on the eastern Shore of Maryland: Such was the Nature of this Exercise, that I believed the Lord moved me to travel on Foot amongst them, that, by so travelling, I might have a more lively Feeling of the Condition of the oppressed Slaves, set an Example of Lowliness before the Eyes of their Masters, and be more out of the Way of Temptation to unprofitable Converse.

For several years, I felt a recurring concern about making a religious visit to Friends on the eastern shore of Maryland. I believed the Lord was moving me to travel among them on foot. By traveling this way, I hoped to feel more keenly the condition of the oppressed slaves. I also hoped to set an example of humility before their masters and avoid the temptation of unprofitable conversation.

The Time now drawing near in which I believed it my Duty to lay my Concern before our Monthly-meeting, I perceived, in Conversation with my beloved Friend, John Sleeper, that he was under a Concern to travel the same Way, and also to travel on Foot in the Form of a Servant amongst them, as he expressed it. This he told me before he knew aught of my Exercise.

The time was drawing near when I believed it was my duty to bring my concern before our Monthly Meeting. In conversation with my beloved friend John Sleeper, I learned that he felt called to travel the same way. He also felt called to travel on foot, as he put it, in the form of a servant among them. He told me this before he knew anything of my own concern.

We, being thus drawn the same Way, laid our Exercise and the Nature of it before Friends; and, obtaining Certificates, we set off the sixth Day of the fifth Month, 1766; and were at Meetings with Friends at Wilmington, Duck-Creek, Little-Creek, and Motherkill; my Heart being sundry Times tendered under the divine Influence, and enlarged in Love toward the People amongst whom we travelled.

Since we felt drawn in the same direction, we shared our spiritual concern and its nature with Friends. After receiving certificates, we set off on the sixth day of the fifth month, 1766. We attended meetings with Friends at Wilmington, Duck-Creek, Little-Creek, and Motherkill. Several times, my heart was softened by divine influence and filled with greater love for the people among whom we traveled.

From Motherkill, we crossed the Country about thirty-five Miles to Friends at Tuckahoe in Maryland, and had a Meeting there and at Marshy-Creek.

From Motherkill, we traveled about thirty-five miles across the country to Friends at Tuckahoe in Maryland. We held meetings there and at Marshy-Creek.

At these, our three last Meetings, were a considerable Number of People, Followers of one Joseph Nichols, a Preacher; who, I understand, is not in outward Fellowship with any religious Society of People, but professeth nearly the same Principles as our Society doth, and often travels up and down appointing Meetings, to which many People come. I heard some Friends speaking of some of their Neighbours, who had been irreligious People, that were now his Followers, and were become sober well-behaved Men and Women.

At our last three meetings, there were many followers of a preacher named Joseph Nichols. I understand that he does not formally belong to any religious society. But he professes nearly the same principles as our Society. He often travels around and arranges meetings, which many people attend. I heard some Friends speak of their neighbors who had been irreligious but were now his followers. These neighbors had become sober, well-behaved men and women.

Some Irregularities, I hear, have been amongst the People at several of his Meetings; but, from the whole of what I have perceived, I believe the Man and some of his Followers are honestly disposed, but that skilful Fathers are wanting amongst them: From hence we went to Choptank and Third-Haven; and thence to Queen Anne's. The Weather having some Days past been hot and dry, and we, to attend Meetings pursuant to Appointment, having travelled pretty steadily, and had hard Labour in Meetings, I grew weakly, at which I was, for a Time, discouraged; but, looking over our Journey, and thinking how the Lord had supported our Minds and Bodies, so that we got forward much faster than I expected before we came out, I now saw that I had been in Danger of too strongly desiring to get soon through the Journey, and that this bodily Weakness, now attending me, was a Kindness to me; and then, in Contrition of Spirit, I became very thankful to my gracious Father, for this Manifestation of his Love; and, in humble Submission to his Will, my Trust was renewed in him.

I hear that there have been some disturbances among the people at several of his meetings. But from everything I have observed, I believe the man and some of his followers are sincere. They lack experienced spiritual elders, however. From there we went to Choptank and Third-Haven, and then to Queen Anne's. The weather had been hot and dry for several days. To attend meetings as planned, we had traveled fairly steadily and worked hard at the meetings. I grew weak, and for a time I was discouraged. But I looked back over our journey and thought about how the Lord had supported our minds and bodies. We had made progress much faster than I had expected before we set out. I now saw that I had been in danger of wanting too strongly to finish the journey quickly. I also saw that my physical weakness was a kindness to me. Then, with a repentant heart, I became very thankful to my gracious Father for this sign of his love. In humble submission to his will, my trust in him was renewed.

On this Part of our Journey, I had many Thoughts on the different Circumstances of Friends, who inhabit Pennsylvania and Jersey, from those who dwell in Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina. Pennsylvania and New-Jersey were settled by many Friends, who were convinced of our Principles in England in Times of Suffering, and, coming over, bought Lands of the Natives, and applied themselves to Husbandry in a peaceable Way; and many of their Children were taught to labour for their Living.

During this part of our journey, I often thought about the different circumstances of Friends living in Pennsylvania and Jersey and those living in Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina. Many Friends who settled Pennsylvania and New-Jersey had come to believe in our principles in England during times of suffering. After coming over, they bought land from the Natives and took up farming peacefully. Many of their children were taught to work for a living.

Few Friends, I believe, came from England to settle in any of these southern Provinces; but, by the faithful Labours of travelling Friends in early Times, there were considerable Convincements amongst the Inhabitants of these Parts. Here I remembered my reading of the warlike Disposition of many of the first Settlers in those Provinces, and of their numerous Engagements with the Natives, in which much Blood was shed, even in the Infancy of those Colonies. These People, inhabiting those Places, being grounded in Customs contrary to the pure Truth, when some of them were affected with the powerful preaching of the Word of Life, and joined in Fellowship with our Society, they had a great Work to go through. It is observable, in the History of the Reformation from Popery, that it had a gradual Progress from Age to Age: The Uprightness of the first Reformers, in attending to the Light and Understanding given them, opened the Way for sincere-hearted People to proceed farther afterward; and thus, each one truly fearing God, and labouring in those Works of Righteousness appointed for him in his Day, findeth Acceptance with him: Though, through the Darkness of the Times, and the Corruption of Manners and Customs, some upright Men have had little more for their Day's Work than to attend to the righteous Principle in their Minds, as it related to their own Conduct in Life, without pointing out to others the whole Extent of that, which the same Principle would lead succeeding Ages into. Thus, for Instance, amongst an imperious warlike People, supported by oppressed Slaves, some of these Masters, I suppose, are awakened to feel and see their Error; and. through sincere Repentance, cease from Oppression, and become like Fathers to their Servants; shewing, by their Example, a Pattern of Humility in living, and Moderation in governing, for the Instruction and Admonition of their oppressing Neighbours; those, without carrying the Reformation farther, I believe, have found Acceptance with the Lord. Such was the Beginning; and those who succeeded them, and have faithfully attended to the Nature and Spirit of the Reformation, have seen the Necessity of proceeding forward, and not only to instruct others, by their Example, in governing well, but also to use Means to prevent their Successors from having so much Power to oppress others.

I believe few Friends came from England to settle in these southern Provinces. But in the early days, travelling Friends worked faithfully among the inhabitants, and many were convinced of the truth. I remembered reading about the warlike nature of many of the first settlers in those Provinces. I also remembered their many conflicts with the Natives, in which much blood was shed, even in the colonies’ earliest days. The inhabitants were deeply rooted in customs contrary to the pure truth. So when some were moved by the powerful preaching of the Word of Life and joined our Society, they had much work to do. The history of the Reformation from Popery shows that it progressed gradually from age to age. The first Reformers acted uprightly by following the light and understanding given to them. This opened the way for sincere people to go farther afterward. In this way, all who truly fear God and do the righteous work appointed for them in their own day find acceptance with him. Yet some upright men lived in times of darkness, when manners and customs were corrupt. Their day’s work was little more than to follow the righteous principle in their own minds and conduct. They did not show others the full extent of where that same principle would lead later generations. For example, among a domineering, warlike people supported by oppressed slaves, some masters are awakened, I suppose, to feel and see their error. Through sincere repentance, they stop oppressing others and become like fathers to their servants. By their example, they show their oppressive neighbors a pattern of humble living and moderate governing, instructing and warning them. I believe these masters have found acceptance with the Lord, even without carrying the Reformation farther. That was the beginning. Those who came after them and faithfully attended to the nature and spirit of the Reformation saw the need to go forward. They saw that they must not only teach others by their example of good governing. They must also take steps to prevent their successors from having so much power to oppress others.

Here I was renewedly confirmed in my Mind, that the Lord (whose tender Mercies are over all his Works, and whose Ear is open to the Cries and Groans of the Oppressed) is graciously moving on the Hearts of People, to draw them off from the Desire of Wealth, and bring them into such an humble, lowly, Way of Living, that they may see their Way clearly, to repair to the Standard of true Righteousness; and not only break the Yoke of Oppression, but know him to be their Strength and Support in a Time of outward Affliction.

Here I became convinced again that the Lord is graciously moving in people's hearts. His tender mercies extend over all his works, and he hears the cries and groans of the oppressed. He is drawing people away from the desire for wealth and toward a humble, modest way of life. In this way, they may see clearly how to return to the standard of true righteousness. They may not only break the yoke of oppression, but also know the Lord as their strength and support in times of outward hardship.

We, passing on, crossed Chester-River; and had a Meeting there, and at Cecil and Sassafras. Through my bodily Weakness, joined with a heavy Exercise of Mind, it was to me an humbling Dispensation, and I had a very lively Feeling of the State of the Oppressed; yet I often thought, that what I suffered was little, compared with the Sufferings of the blessed Jesus, and many of his faithful Followers; and may say, with Thankfulness, I was made content.

We continued on and crossed Chester-River. We held a meeting there, and also at Cecil and Sassafras. My physical weakness, together with a heavy burden on my mind, made this a humbling experience for me. I felt the condition of the oppressed very deeply. Yet I often thought that my suffering was little compared with that of the blessed Jesus and many of his faithful followers. I can say with thankfulness that I was made content.

From Sassafras we went pretty directly Home, where we found our Families well; and, for several Weeks after our Return, I had often to look over our Journey: And though it appeared to me as a small Service, and that some faithful Messengers will yet have more bitter Cups to drink in those southern Provinces, for Christ's Sake, than we had; yet I found Peace in that I had been helped to walk in Sincerity, according to the Understanding and Strength given me.

From Sassafras we went fairly directly home, where we found our families well. For several weeks after our return, I often reflected on our journey. It seemed to me that we had done only a small service. I also believed that some faithful messengers would yet drink more bitter cups in those southern provinces for Christ's sake than we had. Even so, I found peace in having been helped to walk sincerely, according to the understanding and strength given to me.

On the thirteenth Day of the eleventh Month, 1766, with the Unity of Friends at our Monthly-meeting, in Company with my beloved Friend, Benjamin Jones, I set out on a Visit to Friends in the upper Part of this Province, having had Drawings of Love in my Heart that Way a considerable Time: We travelled as far as Hardwick; and I had inward Peace in my Labours of Love amongst them.

On November 13, 1766, with the approval of Friends at our Monthly Meeting, I set out with my beloved friend Benjamin Jones. We were visiting Friends in the upper part of this province. For a long time, I had felt drawn by love to visit them. We traveled as far as Hardwick, and I felt inward peace in my loving work among them.

Through the humbling Dispensations of divine Providence, my Mind hath been brought into a farther Feeling of the Difficulties of Friends and their Servants south-westward; and being often engaged in Spirit on their Account, I believed it my Duty to walk into some Parts of the western Shore of Maryland, on a religious Visit; and, having obtained a Certificate from Friends of our Monthly-meeting, I took my Leave of my Family under the heart-tendering Operation of Truth; and, on the twentieth Day of the fourth Month, 1767, I rode to the Ferry opposite to Philadelphia, and from thence walked to William Horne's, at Derby, that Evening; and next Day pursued my journey alone, and reached Concord week-day Meeting.

Through the humbling experiences sent by divine Providence, I came to feel more deeply the difficulties of Friends and their servants to the southwest. I often felt spiritual concern for them. I believed it was my duty to walk through parts of the western shore of Maryland on a religious visit. After receiving a certificate from Friends at our Monthly Meeting, I said goodbye to my family, my heart softened by the power of Truth. On the twentieth day of the fourth month, 1767, I rode to the ferry opposite Philadelphia. From there I walked to William Horne's in Derby that evening. The next day I continued my journey alone and reached the weekday Meeting at Concord.

Discouragements and a Weight of Distress had, at Times, attended me in this lonesome Walk; through which Afflictions I was mercifully preserved: And now, sitting down with Friends, my Mind was turned toward the Lord, to wait for his holy Leadings; who, in infinite Love, was pleased to soften my Heart into an humble Contrition, and did renewedly strengthen me to go forward; so that to me it was a Time of heavenly Refreshment in a silent Meeting.

At times, I felt discouraged and deeply distressed on this lonely journey. Through these hardships, I was mercifully kept safe. Now, as I sat down with Friends, I turned my mind toward the Lord and waited for his holy guidance. In his infinite love, he softened my heart with humble sorrow and gave me new strength to go forward. For me, the silent meeting was a time of heavenly refreshment.

The next Day I came to New-Garden week-day Meeting, in which I sat with Bowedness of Spirit; and, being baptized into a Feeling of the State of some present, the Lord gave us a heart-tendering Season; to his Name be the Praise.

The next day I attended the weekday meeting at New-Garden, where I sat with a humble spirit. I was baptized into a feeling for the condition of some who were present. The Lord gave us a time that tendered our hearts. Praise be to his name.

I passed on, and was at Nottingham Monthly-meeting; and at a Meeting at Little-Britain on First-day: And in the Afternoon several Friends came to the House where I lodged, and we had a little Afternoon-meeting; and, through the humbling Power of Truth, I had to admire the Loving-kindness of the Lord manifested to us!

I traveled on and attended the monthly meeting at Nottingham and a meeting at Little-Britain on Sunday. That afternoon, several Friends came to the house where I was staying, and we held a small meeting. Through the humbling power of truth, I marveled at the Lord’s loving kindness shown to us!

On the twenty-sixth Day, I crossed Susquehannah; and coming amongst People in outward Ease and Greatness, chiefly on the Labour of Slaves, my Heart was much affected; and, in awful Retiredness, my Mind was gathered inward to the Lord, being humbly engaged that in true Resignation I might receive Instruction from him, respecting my Duty amongst this People.

On the twenty-sixth day, I crossed Susquehannah. I came among people who lived in comfort and wealth, chiefly through the labor of slaves. My heart was deeply affected. In a spirit of reverent solitude, I turned my mind inward to the Lord. I humbly sought to surrender myself fully, so that I might receive his guidance about my duty among these people.

Though travelling on Foot was wearisome to my Body; yet thus travelling was agreeable to the State of my Mind.

Though walking was tiring for my body, it suited my state of mind.

I went gently on, being weakly; and was covered with Sorrow and Heaviness, on Account of the spreading prevailing Spirit of this World, introducing Customs grievous and oppressive on one Hand, and cherishing Pride and Wantonness on the other. In this lonely Walk, and State of Abasement and Humiliation, the State of the Church in these Parts was opened before me; and I may truly say with the Prophet, "I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it." Under this Exercise, I attended the Quarterly-meeting at Gunpowder; and, in Bowedness of Spirit, I had to open, with much Plainness, what I felt respecting Friends living in Fullness, on the Labours of the poor oppressed Negroes; and that Promise of the Most High was now revived: "I will gather all Nations and Tongues; and they shall come and see my Glory."—Here the Sufferings of Christ, and his tasting Death for every Man, and the Travels, Sufferings, and Martyrdoms, of the Apostles and primitive Christians, in labouring for the Conversion of the Gentiles, were livingly revived in me; and, according to the Measure of Strength afforded, I laboured in some Tenderness of Spirit, being deeply affected amongst them: And thus the Difference, between the present Treatment which these Gentiles, the Negroes, receive at our Hands, and the Labours of the primitive Christians for the Conversion of the Gentiles was pressed home, and the Power of Truth came over us; under a Feeling of which, my Mind was united to a tender-hearted People in those Parts; and the Meeting concluded in a Sense of God's Goodness toward his humble dependent Children.

I went on slowly because I was weak. I was overcome with sorrow and heaviness because the spirit of this world was spreading and gaining strength. It brought cruel and oppressive customs on one hand and encouraged pride and self-indulgence on the other. During this lonely walk, in my state of abasement and humility, the condition of the Church in these parts was revealed to me. I can truly say with the Prophet, "I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it." While burdened by these concerns, I attended the Quarterly-meeting at Gunpowder. With a bowed spirit, I felt called to speak very plainly. I spoke about Friends living in abundance through the labor of the poor oppressed Negroes. The promise of the Most High came to me again: "I will gather all Nations and Tongues; and they shall come and see my Glory." There, I felt again a vivid sense of Christ's sufferings and his tasting death for every man. I also felt the travels, sufferings, and martyrdoms of the Apostles and early Christians as they labored to convert the Gentiles. With the strength given to me, I labored among those present with some tenderness of spirit, deeply moved. In this way, the difference between our present treatment of these Gentiles, the Negroes, and the labors of the early Christians to convert the Gentiles was brought home to us. The power of Truth came over us, and under its influence, my heart was united with tender-hearted people in those parts. The meeting ended with a sense of God's goodness toward his humble, dependent children.

The next Day was a general Meeting for Worship, much crouded; in which I was deeply engaged in inward Cries to the Lord for Help, that I might stand wholly resigned, and move only as he might be pleased to lead me: And I was mercifully helped to labour honestly and fervently amongst them, in which I found inward Peace; and the Sincere were comforted.

The next day, there was a crowded general meeting for worship. During the meeting, I earnestly cried out to the Lord in my heart for help. I prayed that I might be wholly willing to submit and act only as he chose to lead me. In his mercy, he helped me labor honestly and fervently among them. In this I found inward peace, and those who were sincere were comforted.

From hence I turned toward Pipe-Creek, and passed on to the Red-Lands; and had several Meetings amongst Friends in those Parts. My Heart was often tenderly affected, under a Sense of the Lord's Goodness, in sanctifying my Troubles and Exercises, turning them to my Comfort, and, I believe, to the Benefit of many others; for, I may say, with Thankfulness, that in this Visit, it appeared like a fresh tendering Visitation in most Places.

From there I turned toward Pipe-Creek and went on to the Red-Lands. I had several meetings among Friends in those parts. My heart was often deeply moved by a sense of the Lord's goodness. He made my troubles and struggles a source of comfort to me and, I believe, of benefit to many others. For I can say with gratitude that, in most places, this visit seemed to bring a renewed softening of hearts.

I passed on to the western Quarterly-meeting in Pennsylvania; during the several Days of this Meeting, I was mercifully preserved in an inward feeling after the Mind of Truth, and my publick Labours tended to my Humiliation, with which I was content: And, after the Quarterly-meeting of Worship ended, I felt Drawings to go to the Women's Meeting of Business; which was very full: And here the Humility of Jesus Christ, as a Pattern for us to walk by, was livingly opened before me; and in treating on it my Heart was enlarged; and it was a baptizing Time. From hence I went on; and was at Meetings at Concord, Middletown, Providence, and Haddonfield, and so Home; where I found my Family well. A sense of the Lord's merciful Preservation, in this my Journey, excites reverent Thankfulness to him.

I went on to the western Quarterly Meeting in Pennsylvania. During the several days of the meeting, I was mercifully kept attentive to the mind of Truth. My public ministry humbled me, and I was content with that. After the Quarterly Meeting for worship ended, I felt drawn to attend the women’s business meeting. It was very full. There, the humility of Jesus Christ came vividly before me as a pattern for us to follow. As I spoke about it, my heart opened, and it was a baptizing time. From there, I went on to meetings at Concord, Middletown, Providence, and Haddonfield. Then I went home, where I found my family well. The sense of the Lord’s merciful care throughout my journey fills me with reverent thankfulness to him.

On the second Day of the ninth Month, 1767, with the Unity of Friends, I set off on a Visit to Friends in the upper Part of Berks and Philadelphia Counties; was at eleven Meetings in about two Weeks; and have renewed Cause to bow in Reverence before the Lord, who, by the powerful Extendings of his humbling Goodness, opened my Way amongst Friends, and made the Meetings (I trust) profitable to us. And, the Winter following, I joined Friends on a Visit to Friends Families, in some Part of our Meeting; in which Exercise, the pure Influence of divine Love made our Visits reviving.

On September 2, 1767, with the unity of Friends, I set off to visit Friends in upper Berks and Philadelphia Counties. I attended eleven meetings in about two weeks. I have renewed reason to bow in reverence before the Lord. Through the powerful outpouring of his humbling goodness, he opened my way among Friends. He also made the meetings profitable to us, I trust. The following winter, I joined Friends in visiting families of Friends in part of our meeting. During these visits, the pure influence of divine love refreshed us.

On the fifth Day of the fifth Month, 1768, I left Home under the humbling Hand of the Lord, having obtained a Certificate, in order to visit some Meetings in Maryland; and to proceed without a Horse looked clearest to me. I was at the Quarterly-meetings at Philadelphia and Concord; and then went on to Chester-River; and, crossing the Bay with Friends, was at the Yearly-meeting at West-River; thence back to Chester-River; and, taking a few Meetings in my Way, proceeded Home. It was a Journey of much inward Waiting; and, as my Eye was to the Lord, Way was, several Times, opened to my humbling Admiration, when Things had appeared very difficult.

On May 5, 1768, I left home under the humbling hand of the Lord. I had obtained a certificate to visit some meetings in Maryland, and it seemed best to travel without a horse. I attended the quarterly meetings at Philadelphia and Concord, then went on to Chester-River. I crossed the bay with Friends and attended the yearly meeting at West-River. From there I returned to Chester-River, then headed home, attending a few meetings along the way. It was a journey of much inward waiting. As I looked to the Lord, a way opened several times when things had seemed very difficult. This filled me with humble wonder.

In my Return, I felt a Relief of Mind, very comfortable to me; having, through divine Help, laboured in much Plainness, both with Friends selected, and in the more publick Meetings; so that (I trust) the pure Witness, in many Minds, was reached.

On my return, I felt a welcome relief of mind. With divine help, I had spoken plainly to selected Friends and in the more public meetings. I trust that I had reached the pure witness in many minds.

The eleventh Day of the sixth Month, 1769. Sundry Cases have happened, of late Years, within the Limits of our Monthly-meeting, respecting that of exercising pure Righteousness toward the Negroes; in which I have lived under a Labour of Heart, that Equity might be steadily kept to. On this Account, I have had some close Exercises amongst Friends; in which, I may thankfully say, I find Peace: And, as my Meditations have been on universal Love, my own Conduct in Time past became of late very grievous to me.

The eleventh day of the sixth month, 1769. In recent years, several cases in our Monthly Meeting have concerned the practice of pure righteousness toward the Negroes. In these matters, I have felt a deep concern that we should remain faithful to fairness. Because of this, I have faced some difficult struggles among Friends. I can thankfully say that I find peace in them. And as I have reflected on universal love, my own past conduct has recently become very troubling to me.

As Persons, setting Negroes free in our Province, are bound by Law to maintain them, in case they have Need of Relief, some, who scrupled keeping Slaves for Term of Life, in the Time of my Youth, were wont to detain their young Negroes in their Service till thirty Years of Age, without Wages, on that Account; and with this Custom I so far agreed, that I, being joined to another Friend, in executing the Will of a deceased Friend, once sold a Negro Lad till he might attain the Age of thirty Years, and applied the Money to the Use of the Estate.

In our Province, the law requires people who free Negroes to support them if they need relief. Because of this, some people in my youth had doubts about keeping slaves for life. Instead, they kept young Negroes in their service without wages until they were thirty. I agreed with this custom to some extent. Once, another Friend and I were executors of a deceased Friend’s will. I sold a Negro boy’s service until he reached thirty and put the money into the estate.

With Abasement of Heart, I may now say, that sometimes, as I have sat in a Meeting, with my Heart exercised toward that awful Being, who respecteth not Persons nor Colours, and have looked upon this Lad, I have felt that all was not clear in my Mind respecting him; and as I have attended to this Exercise, and fervently sought the Lord, it hath appeared to me, that I should make some Restitution, but in what Way I saw not till lately; when, being under some Concern that I may be resigned to go on a Visit to some Part of the West-Indies, and under close Engagement of Spirit, seeking to the Lord for Counsel herein, that of my joining in the Sale aforesaid, came heavily upon me; and my Mind, for a Time, was covered with Darkness and Sorrow; and, under this sore Affliction, my Heart was softened to receive Instruction: And here I first saw, that, as I had been one of the two Executors, who had sold this Lad nine Years longer than is common for our own Children to serve, so I should now offer a Part of my Substance to redeem the last Half of that nine Years; but, as the Time was not yet come, I executed a Bond, binding me and my Executors to pay to the Man, he was sold to, what, to candid Men, might appear equitable for the last four Years and a Half of his Time, in case the said Youth should be living, and in a Condition likely to provide comfortably for himself.

With humility of heart, I can now say that I have sometimes looked at this boy while sitting in a Meeting. My heart was turned toward that awe-inspiring Being who shows no favoritism based on status or color. As I looked at the boy, I felt that my mind was not entirely clear about him. I reflected on this feeling and fervently sought the Lord. It then seemed to me that I should make some restitution, but until recently I did not see how. Recently, I had some concern about whether I could be willing to visit some part of the West-Indies. With deep spiritual commitment, I sought the Lord’s counsel about the visit. Then my part in the sale I mentioned earlier weighed heavily on me. For a time, my mind was covered with darkness and sorrow. Under this great affliction, my heart was softened and ready to receive instruction. I then saw for the first time what I should do. I had been one of two executors who sold this boy to serve nine years longer than our own children commonly serve. So I should now offer some of my property to redeem the last half of those nine years. But that time had not yet come. I therefore signed a bond binding myself and my executors to pay the man to whom the boy was sold. The amount would be what fair-minded people judged equitable for the last four and a half years of his service. Payment would be made if the young man was still alive and likely to be able to provide comfortably for himself.

The ninth Day of the tenth Month, 1769. My Heart hath often been deeply afflicted under a Feeling I have had, that the Standard of pure Righteousness is not lifted up to the People by us, as a Society, in that Clearness which it might have been, had we been so faithful to the Teachings of Christ as we ought to have been: And, as my Mind hath been inward to the Lord, the Purity of Christ's Government hath been opened in my Understanding; and, under this Exercise, that of Friends being active in civil Society, in putting Laws in force which are not agreeable to the Purity of Righteousness, hath, for several Years, been an increasing Burthen upon me; having felt, in the Openings of universal Love, that where a People, convinced of the Truth of the inward Teachings of Christ, are active in putting Laws in Execution which are not consistent with pure Wisdom, it hath a necessary Tendency to bring Dimness over their Minds: And, as my Heart hath been thus exercised, and a tender Sympathy in me toward my Fellow-members, I have, within a few Months past, in several Meetings for Discipline, expressed my Concern on this Subject.

The ninth day of the tenth month, 1769. My heart has often been deeply troubled by a feeling about our Society. I feel that we have not held up the standard of pure righteousness as clearly as we could have. We could have done so if we had been as faithful to Christ’s teachings as we should have been. As I have turned inward to the Lord, the purity of Christ’s government has become clear to me. During this time of reflection, I have carried a growing burden for several years. It concerns Friends who take part in civil society by enforcing laws that do not agree with pure righteousness. In moments when universal love has opened in my heart, I have felt something about such actions. When people believe in the truth of Christ’s inward teachings, yet enforce laws inconsistent with pure wisdom, their minds must grow dim. As I have struggled with this concern, I have also felt tender sympathy for my fellow members. In the past few months, I have expressed my concern on this subject at several meetings for discipline.