In the Store

“So last January, with the beginning of a snowstorm in the air about me—and if it settled on me it would betray me!—weary, cold, painful, inexpressibly wretched, and still but half convinced of my invisible quality, I began this new life to which I am committed. I had no refuge, no appliances, no human being in the world in whom I could confide. To have told my secret would have given me away—made a mere show and rarity of me. Nevertheless, I was half-minded to accost some passer-by and throw myself upon his mercy. But I knew too clearly the terror and brutal cruelty my advances would evoke. I made no plans in the street. My sole object was to get shelter from the snow, to get myself covered and warm; then I might hope to plan. But even to me, an Invisible Man, the rows of London houses stood latched, barred, and bolted impregnably.

“So last January, a snowstorm was beginning around me. If the snow settled on me, it would give me away! I was exhausted, cold, in pain, and unbearably miserable. I was still only half convinced that I was invisible. Yet I began this new life, to which I was now committed. I had no shelter, no equipment, and no one in the world I could trust with my secret. Telling it would have exposed me and turned me into a mere spectacle and curiosity. Still, I was tempted to approach a passerby and throw myself on his mercy. But I knew too well the terror and brutal cruelty my approach would provoke. I made no plans while I was in the street. My only aim was to find shelter from the snow and get covered and warm. Then I might hope to make plans. But even for me, an Invisible Man, the rows of London houses were securely latched, barred, and bolted.”

“Only one thing could I see clearly before me—the cold exposure and misery of the snowstorm and the night.

“Only one thing lay clearly ahead of me: the cold and misery of being exposed to the snowstorm and the night.

“And then I had a brilliant idea. I turned down one of the roads leading from Gower Street to Tottenham Court Road, and found myself outside Omniums, the big establishment where everything is to be bought—you know the place: meat, grocery, linen, furniture, clothing, oil paintings even—a huge meandering collection of shops rather than a shop. I had thought I should find the doors open, but they were closed, and as I stood in the wide entrance a carriage stopped outside, and a man in uniform—you know the kind of personage with ‘Omnium’ on his cap—flung open the door. I contrived to enter, and walking down the shop—it was a department where they were selling ribbons and gloves and stockings and that kind of thing—came to a more spacious region devoted to picnic baskets and wicker furniture.

“And then I had a brilliant idea. I turned down a road leading from Gower Street to Tottenham Court Road. I found myself outside Omniums, the big store where you can buy everything. You know the place: meat, groceries, linen, furniture, clothing, even oil paintings. It’s a huge, sprawling collection of shops rather than a single store. I had expected the doors to be open, but they were closed. As I stood in the wide entrance, a carriage stopped outside. A man in uniform flung open the door. You know the sort of person, with ‘Omnium’ on his cap. I managed to get inside and walked through the store. The department sold ribbons, gloves, stockings, and that kind of thing. Beyond it, I came to a larger area devoted to picnic baskets and wicker furniture.

“I did not feel safe there, however; people were going to and fro, and I prowled restlessly about until I came upon a huge section in an upper floor containing multitudes of bedsteads, and over these I clambered, and found a resting-place at last among a huge pile of folded flock mattresses. The place was already lit up and agreeably warm, and I decided to remain where I was, keeping a cautious eye on the two or three sets of shopmen and customers who were meandering through the place, until closing time came. Then I should be able, I thought, to rob the place for food and clothing, and disguised, prowl through it and examine its resources, perhaps sleep on some of the bedding. That seemed an acceptable plan. My idea was to procure clothing to make myself a muffled but acceptable figure, to get money, and then to recover my books and parcels where they awaited me, take a lodging somewhere and elaborate plans for the complete realisation of the advantages my invisibility gave me (as I still imagined) over my fellow-men.

“I did not feel safe there, however. People were coming and going, and I wandered restlessly until I found a huge section upstairs filled with bed frames. I climbed over them and finally found a place to rest among a huge pile of folded mattresses. The area was already lit and pleasantly warm. I decided to stay there until closing time, keeping a cautious eye on the two or three groups of shop assistants and customers wandering through. Then, I thought, I could steal food and clothing from the store. Disguised, I could wander through it and see what it had to offer, and perhaps sleep on some of the bedding. That seemed like a reasonable plan. I meant to get clothes that would cover me up while making me look presentable, and then get money. After that, I would retrieve my books and parcels from where I had left them and find a place to stay. There I could make detailed plans to take full advantage of the benefits my invisibility gave me over other people, as I still imagined it did.

“Closing time arrived quickly enough. It could not have been more than an hour after I took up my position on the mattresses before I noticed the blinds of the windows being drawn, and customers being marched doorward. And then a number of brisk young men began with remarkable alacrity to tidy up the goods that remained disturbed. I left my lair as the crowds diminished, and prowled cautiously out into the less desolate parts of the shop. I was really surprised to observe how rapidly the young men and women whipped away the goods displayed for sale during the day. All the boxes of goods, the hanging fabrics, the festoons of lace, the boxes of sweets in the grocery section, the displays of this and that, were being whipped down, folded up, slapped into tidy receptacles, and everything that could not be taken down and put away had sheets of some coarse stuff like sacking flung over them. Finally all the chairs were turned up on to the counters, leaving the floor clear. Directly each of these young people had done, he or she made promptly for the door with such an expression of animation as I have rarely observed in a shop assistant before. Then came a lot of youngsters scattering sawdust and carrying pails and brooms. I had to dodge to get out of the way, and as it was, my ankle got stung with the sawdust. For some time, wandering through the swathed and darkened departments, I could hear the brooms at work. And at last a good hour or more after the shop had been closed, came a noise of locking doors. Silence came upon the place, and I found myself wandering through the vast and intricate shops, galleries, show-rooms of the place, alone. It was very still; in one place I remember passing near one of the Tottenham Court Road entrances and listening to the tapping of boot-heels of the passers-by.

“Closing time came quickly enough. I had been on the mattresses for no more than an hour when I noticed the window blinds being drawn. Customers were being shown to the door. Then several energetic young men quickly began putting the disturbed goods back in order. As the crowds thinned, I left my hiding place and crept carefully into the less deserted parts of the shop. I was truly surprised at how quickly the young men and women cleared away the goods displayed during the day. They took down boxes of goods, hanging fabrics, garlands of lace, boxes of sweets in the grocery section, and all the other displays. They folded everything up and tossed it into neat containers. Anything that could not be taken down and put away was covered with coarse sheets like sackcloth. Finally, all the chairs were placed upside down on the counters, leaving the floor clear. As soon as each young person finished, he or she headed straight for the door. Their faces showed a liveliness I had rarely seen in a shop assistant before. Then a group of youngsters came in, scattering sawdust and carrying buckets and brooms. I had to dodge out of their way, and even so, the sawdust stung my ankle. For some time, as I wandered through the covered and darkened departments, I could hear the brooms at work. At last, a good hour or more after the shop had closed, I heard doors being locked. Silence fell over the place. I found myself alone, wandering through the vast maze of shops, galleries, and showrooms. It was very quiet. I remember passing near one of the Tottenham Court Road entrances and listening to the tapping of passers-by’s boot heels.

“My first visit was to the place where I had seen stockings and gloves for sale. It was dark, and I had the devil of a hunt after matches, which I found at last in the drawer of the little cash desk. Then I had to get a candle. I had to tear down wrappings and ransack a number of boxes and drawers, but at last I managed to turn out what I sought; the box label called them lambswool pants, and lambswool vests. Then socks, a thick comforter, and then I went to the clothing place and got trousers, a lounge jacket, an overcoat and a slouch hat—a clerical sort of hat with the brim turned down. I began to feel a human being again, and my next thought was food.

“My first stop was the place where I had seen stockings and gloves for sale. It was dark, and I had a hell of a time looking for matches. At last, I found them in a drawer of the small cash desk. Then I had to find a candle. I tore down wrapping and searched through several boxes and drawers. At last, I found what I was looking for. The box label called them lambswool pants and lambswool vests. Next I found socks and a thick scarf. Then I went to the clothing section and got trousers, a jacket, an overcoat, and a slouch hat. It was the kind of hat a clergyman might wear, with the brim turned down. I began to feel human again, and my next thought was food.

“Upstairs was a refreshment department, and there I got cold meat. There was coffee still in the urn, and I lit the gas and warmed it up again, and altogether I did not do badly. Afterwards, prowling through the place in search of blankets—I had to put up at last with a heap of down quilts—I came upon a grocery section with a lot of chocolate and candied fruits, more than was good for me indeed—and some white burgundy. And near that was a toy department, and I had a brilliant idea. I found some artificial noses—dummy noses, you know, and I thought of dark spectacles. But Omniums had no optical department. My nose had been a difficulty indeed—I had thought of paint. But the discovery set my mind running on wigs and masks and the like. Finally I went to sleep in a heap of down quilts, very warm and comfortable.

“Upstairs was a food department, where I found some cold meat. There was still coffee in the urn, so I lit the gas and warmed it up again. All in all, I did pretty well. Afterwards, I searched the place for blankets. In the end, I had to settle for a heap of down quilts. I also found a grocery section with lots of chocolate and candied fruit. In fact, there was more than was good for me. There was some white Burgundy, too. Nearby was a toy department, and I had a brilliant idea. I found some artificial noses, you know, fake noses, and thought of dark glasses. But Omniums had no optical department. My nose had indeed been a problem. I had thought of using paint. But finding the fake noses made me think about wigs and masks and things like that. Finally, I went to sleep in a heap of down quilts, very warm and comfortable.

“My last thoughts before sleeping were the most agreeable I had had since the change. I was in a state of physical serenity, and that was reflected in my mind. I thought that I should be able to slip out unobserved in the morning with my clothes upon me, muffling my face with a white wrapper I had taken, purchase, with the money I had taken, spectacles and so forth, and so complete my disguise. I lapsed into disorderly dreams of all the fantastic things that had happened during the last few days. I saw the ugly little Jew of a landlord vociferating in his rooms; I saw his two sons marvelling, and the wrinkled old woman’s gnarled face as she asked for her cat. I experienced again the strange sensation of seeing the cloth disappear, and so I came round to the windy hillside and the sniffing old clergyman mumbling ‘Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,’ at my father’s open grave.

“My last thoughts before falling asleep were the most pleasant I had had since the change. My body was calm, and my mind was calm too. I thought I could slip out unnoticed in the morning, wearing my clothes and covering my face with a white wrap I had taken. With the money I had taken, I could buy glasses and other things to complete my disguise. I drifted into confused dreams about all the fantastic things that had happened over the last few days. I saw the ugly little Jew of a landlord shouting in his rooms. I saw his two sons staring in wonder, and the wrinkled old woman’s gnarled face as she asked for her cat. I felt again the strange sensation of watching the cloth disappear. Then I came back to the windy hillside and the sniffing old clergyman mumbling ‘Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,’ at my father’s open grave.

“‘You also,’ said a voice, and suddenly I was being forced towards the grave. I struggled, shouted, appealed to the mourners, but they continued stonily following the service; the old clergyman, too, never faltered droning and sniffing through the ritual. I realised I was invisible and inaudible, that overwhelming forces had their grip on me. I struggled in vain, I was forced over the brink, the coffin rang hollow as I fell upon it, and the gravel came flying after me in spadefuls. Nobody heeded me, nobody was aware of me. I made convulsive struggles and awoke.

“‘You too,’ said a voice. Suddenly, I was being forced toward the grave. I struggled, shouted, and begged the mourners for help, but they continued to follow the service without expression. The old clergyman, too, went on droning and sniffing through the service without stopping. I realized I was invisible and could not be heard. Overwhelming forces had hold of me. I struggled in vain. I was forced over the edge, and the coffin rang hollow as I fell onto it. Spadefuls of gravel came flying after me. Nobody paid attention to me. Nobody was aware of me. I struggled wildly and woke up.

“The pale London dawn had come, the place was full of a chilly grey light that filtered round the edges of the window blinds. I sat up, and for a time I could not think where this ample apartment, with its counters, its piles of rolled stuff, its heap of quilts and cushions, its iron pillars, might be. Then, as recollection came back to me, I heard voices in conversation.

“The pale London dawn had arrived. Chilly grey light filtered around the edges of the window blinds and filled the room. I sat up, unable for a while to place the large room. It had counters, piles of rolled fabric, a heap of quilts and cushions, and iron pillars. Then, as I began to remember, I heard voices talking.

“Then far down the place, in the brighter light of some department which had already raised its blinds, I saw two men approaching. I scrambled to my feet, looking about me for some way of escape, and even as I did so the sound of my movement made them aware of me. I suppose they saw merely a figure moving quietly and quickly away. ‘Who’s that?’ cried one, and ‘Stop there!’ shouted the other. I dashed around a corner and came full tilt—a faceless figure, mind you!—on a lanky lad of fifteen. He yelled and I bowled him over, rushed past him, turned another corner, and by a happy inspiration threw myself behind a counter. In another moment feet went running past and I heard voices shouting, ‘All hands to the doors!’ asking what was ‘up,’ and giving one another advice how to catch me.

“Then, far down the store, I saw two men approaching. They were in the brighter light of a department where the blinds had already been raised. I scrambled to my feet and looked around for a way to escape. But the sound I made alerted them to me. I suppose they saw only a figure moving quietly and quickly away. ‘Who’s that?’ cried one, and ‘Stop there!’ shouted the other. I dashed around a corner and ran full speed into a skinny fifteen-year-old boy. I was a faceless figure, mind you! He yelled, and I knocked him over. I rushed past him, turned another corner, and had a lucky idea. I threw myself behind a counter. A moment later, feet ran past. I heard voices shouting, ‘All hands to the doors!’ They asked what was ‘up’ and gave one another advice on how to catch me.

“Lying on the ground, I felt scared out of my wits. But—odd as it may seem—it did not occur to me at the moment to take off my clothes as I should have done. I had made up my mind, I suppose, to get away in them, and that ruled me. And then down the vista of the counters came a bawling of ‘Here he is!’

“Lying on the ground, I was scared out of my mind. Odd as it may seem, it never occurred to me to take off my clothes, though I should have. I suppose I had made up my mind to escape in them, and that thought controlled me. Then a shout came from down the aisle between the counters: ‘Here he is!’

“I sprang to my feet, whipped a chair off the counter, and sent it whirling at the fool who had shouted, turned, came into another round a corner, sent him spinning, and rushed up the stairs. He kept his footing, gave a view hallo, and came up the staircase hot after me. Up the staircase were piled a multitude of those bright-coloured pot things—what are they?”

“I jumped to my feet, grabbed a chair off the counter, and threw it at the fool who had shouted. I turned a corner, ran into another man, and sent him spinning. Then I rushed up the stairs. The man kept his footing, shouted an alarm, and raced up the stairs after me. The staircase was piled with those brightly colored pot things. What are they?”

“Art pots,” suggested Kemp.

“Art pots,” suggested Kemp.

“That’s it! Art pots. Well, I turned at the top step and swung round, plucked one out of a pile and smashed it on his silly head as he came at me. The whole pile of pots went headlong, and I heard shouting and footsteps running from all parts. I made a mad rush for the refreshment place, and there was a man in white like a man cook, who took up the chase. I made one last desperate turn and found myself among lamps and ironmongery. I went behind the counter of this, and waited for my cook, and as he bolted in at the head of the chase, I doubled him up with a lamp. Down he went, and I crouched down behind the counter and began whipping off my clothes as fast as I could. Coat, jacket, trousers, shoes were all right, but a lambswool vest fits a man like a skin. I heard more men coming, my cook was lying quiet on the other side of the counter, stunned or scared speechless, and I had to make another dash for it, like a rabbit hunted out of a wood-pile.

“That’s it! Decorative pots. Well, I turned around at the top step, grabbed one from a pile, and smashed it on his silly head as he came at me. The whole pile of pots fell over. I heard shouting and footsteps running from every direction. I rushed wildly toward the refreshment area. A man dressed in white like a cook joined the chase. I made one last desperate turn and found myself among lamps and hardware. I went behind the counter there and waited for my cook. He came rushing in at the front of the chase, and I doubled him over with a lamp. He went down, and I crouched behind the counter and started pulling off my clothes as fast as I could. My coat, jacket, trousers, and shoes were easy enough to get off, but a lambswool vest fits like a second skin. I heard more men coming. My cook lay still on the other side of the counter, stunned or scared speechless. I had to make another dash for it, like a rabbit chased out of a woodpile.

“‘This way, policeman!’ I heard someone shouting. I found myself in my bedstead storeroom again, and at the end of a wilderness of wardrobes. I rushed among them, went flat, got rid of my vest after infinite wriggling, and stood a free man again, panting and scared, as the policeman and three of the shopmen came round the corner. They made a rush for the vest and pants, and collared the trousers. ‘He’s dropping his plunder,’ said one of the young men. ‘He must be somewhere here.’

“‘This way, policeman!’ I heard someone shouting. I found myself back in the bedstead storeroom, at the end of a maze of wardrobes. I rushed among them and lay flat. After a great deal of wriggling, I got rid of my vest and stood free again. I was panting and scared as the policeman and three shop assistants came around the corner. They rushed for the vest and pants and grabbed the pants. ‘He’s dropping his stolen goods,’ said one of the young men. ‘He must be somewhere here.’

“But they did not find me all the same.

“But they still did not find me.

“I stood watching them hunt for me for a time, and cursing my ill-luck in losing the clothes. Then I went into the refreshment-room, drank a little milk I found there, and sat down by the fire to consider my position.

“I stood watching them search for me for a while, cursing my bad luck at losing the clothes. Then I went into the refreshment room and drank some milk I found there. I sat down by the fire to think about my situation.

“In a little while two assistants came in and began to talk over the business very excitedly and like the fools they were. I heard a magnified account of my depredations, and other speculations as to my whereabouts. Then I fell to scheming again. The insurmountable difficulty of the place, especially now it was alarmed, was to get any plunder out of it. I went down into the warehouse to see if there was any chance of packing and addressing a parcel, but I could not understand the system of checking. About eleven o’clock, the snow having thawed as it fell, and the day being finer and a little warmer than the previous one, I decided that the Emporium was hopeless, and went out again, exasperated at my want of success, with only the vaguest plans of action in my mind.”

“A little while later, two assistants came in and began discussing what had happened. They were very excited and acted like the fools they were. I heard an exaggerated account of the damage I had done, along with more speculation about where I was. Then I began planning again. The impossible problem was getting anything stolen out of the place, especially now that everyone was on alert. I went down to the warehouse to see if I could pack and address a parcel. But I could not understand the system for checking parcels. Around eleven o’clock, I decided the Emporium was hopeless and went out again. The snow was melting as it fell, and the day was clearer and a little warmer than the day before. I was furious at my lack of success and had only the vaguest plans for what to do next.”