THE stage is more beholding to love, than the life of man. For as to the stage, love is ever matter of comedies, and now and then of tragedies; but in life it doth much mischief; sometimes like a siren, sometimes like a fury. You may observe, that amongst all the great and worthy persons (whereof the memory remaineth, either ancient or recent) there is not one, that hath been transported to the mad degree of love: which shows that great spirits, and great business, do keep out this weak passion. You must except, nevertheless, Marcus Antonius, the half partner of the empire of Rome, and Appius Claudius, the decemvir and lawgiver; whereof the former was indeed a voluptuous man, and inordinate; but the latter was an austere and wise man: and therefore it seems (though rarely) that love can find entrance, not only into an open heart, but also into a heart well fortified, if watch be not well kept. It is a poor saying of Epicurus, Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus; as if man, made for the contemplation of heaven, and all noble objects, should do nothing but kneel before a little idol, and make himself a subject, though not of the mouth (as beasts are), yet of the eye; which was given him for higher purposes. It is a strange thing, to note the excess of this passion, and how it braves the nature, and value of things, by this; that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole, is comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase; for whereas it hath been well said, that the arch-flatterer, with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence, is a man's self; certainly the lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself, as the lover doth of the person loved; and therefore it was well said, That it is impossible to love, and to be wise. Neither doth this weakness appear to others only, and not to the party loved; but to the loved most of all, except the love be reciproque. For it is a true rule, that love is ever rewarded, either with the reciproque, or with an inward and secret contempt. By how much the more, men ought to beware of this passion, which loseth not only other things, but itself! As for the other losses, the poet's relation doth well figure them: that he that preferred Helena, quitted the gifts of Juno and Pallas. For whosoever esteemeth too much of amorous affection, quitteth both riches and wisdom. This passion hath his floods, in very times of weakness; which are great prosperity, and great adversity; though this latter hath been less observed: both which times kindle love, and make it more fervent, and therefore show it to be the child of folly. They do best, who if they cannot but admit love, yet make it keep quarters; and sever it wholly from their serious affairs, and actions, of life; for if it check once with business, it troubleth men's fortunes, and maketh men, that they can no ways be true to their own ends. I know not how, but martial men are given to love: I think, it is but as they are given to wine; for perils commonly ask to be paid in pleasures. There is in man's nature, a secret inclination and motion, towards love of others, which if it be not spent upon some one or a few, doth naturally spread itself towards many, and maketh men become humane and charitable; as it is seen sometime in friars. Nuptial love maketh mankind; friendly love perfecteth it; but wanton love corrupteth, and embaseth it.
The stage owes more to love than human life does. On stage, love always supplies material for comedies, and sometimes for tragedies. But in life it does much harm, sometimes like a siren, sometimes like a fury. Among all the great and worthy people remembered from ancient or recent times, not one became madly consumed by love. This shows that great minds and great affairs keep out this weak passion. Nevertheless, two exceptions must be made. One is Mark Antony, who shared rule over the Roman Empire. The other is Appius Claudius, the decemvir and lawgiver. The first was indeed a man of excessive and uncontrolled pleasure. But the second was a stern and wise man. So it seems that love can sometimes enter not only an open heart, but even a well-defended one. This happens, though rarely, if the heart is not carefully guarded. Epicurus offered a poor saying: “Each of us is a large enough audience for the other.” This suggests that human beings should do nothing but kneel before a little idol. Yet they were made to contemplate heaven and all noble things. They make themselves slaves, not to their mouths, as beasts do, but to their eyes, which were given higher purposes. It is strange to observe this passion’s excess, and how it defies the true nature and worth of things. Constant exaggeration is fitting in nothing but love. Nor is this merely a matter of language. It has been well said that a person’s own self is the chief flatterer, allied with all lesser flatterers. Yet the lover is an even greater flatterer. No proud person ever thought so absurdly well of himself as a lover thinks of the beloved. So it was well said that it is impossible to love and be wise. This weakness is apparent not only to others, but most of all to the beloved, unless the love is returned. For it is a true rule that love is always rewarded either with love in return or with secret contempt. People should therefore be all the more wary of this passion, which loses not only other things, but itself. As for its other losses, the poet’s story illustrates them well. The man who chose Helen gave up the gifts of Juno and Pallas. For whoever values romantic affection too highly gives up both riches and wisdom. This passion rises like a flood at times of great weakness, during great prosperity and great adversity. Its rise during adversity has been less noticed. Both conditions kindle love and make it more intense, showing that it is the child of folly. Those who cannot keep love out do best to keep it within bounds. They should separate it entirely from the serious affairs and actions of their lives. Once love clashes with business, it damages people’s fortunes and makes them wholly unable to pursue their own goals faithfully. I do not know why soldiers are prone to love. I think it is for the same reason they are prone to wine. Danger commonly demands pleasure as its payment. Human nature contains a hidden tendency and impulse to love others. If it is not spent on one person or a few, it naturally spreads to many. It makes people humane and charitable, as can sometimes be seen among friars. Married love brings humanity into being. The love of friendship perfects it. But lustful love corrupts and degrades it.