Chapter 39

Sin is the sharpest scourge that any chosen soul may be smitten with: which scourge thoroughly beateth¹ man and woman, and maketh him hateful in his own sight, so far forth that afterwhile² he thinketh himself he is not worthy but as to sink in hell,—till [that time] when contrition taketh him by touching of the Holy Ghost, and turneth the bitterness into hopes of God's mercy. And then He beginneth his wounds to heal, and the soul to quicken [as it is] turned unto the life of Holy Church. The Holy Ghost leadeth him to confession, with all his will to shew his sins nakedly and truly, with great sorrow and great shame that he hath defouled the fair image of God. Then receiveth he penance for every sin [as] enjoined by his doomsman³ that is grounded in Holy Church by the teaching of the Holy Ghost. And this is one meekness that greatly pleaseth God; and also bodily sickness of God's sending, and also sorrow and shame from without, and reproof, and despite of this world, with all manner of grievance and temptations that we be cast in,⁴ bodily and ghostly.

Sin is the harshest scourge that any chosen soul may suffer. This scourge beats¹ men and women thoroughly and makes them hate themselves. After a while,² they come to think they deserve nothing but to sink into hell. Then the Holy Spirit touches them, and they feel contrition. Contrition turns their bitterness into hope of God’s mercy. God then begins to heal their wounds and revive their souls as they turn to the life of Holy Church. The Holy Spirit leads them to confession, fully willing to reveal their sins openly and truthfully. They feel great sorrow and shame for having defiled the beautiful image of God. Then they receive penance for every sin, as assigned by their confessor,³ whose authority rests in Holy Church through the teaching of the Holy Spirit. This is one kind of humility that greatly pleases God. So too are bodily sickness sent by God, sorrow and shame from outside, rebuke, and the contempt of this world. So too are all the troubles and temptations we are thrown into,⁴ bodily and spiritual.

Full preciously our Lord keepeth us when it seemeth to us that we are near forsaken and cast away for our sin and because we have deserved it. And because of meekness that we get hereby, we are raised well-high in God's sight by His grace, with so great contrition, and also compassion, and true longing to God. Then they be suddenly delivered from sin and from pain, and taken up to bliss, and made even high saints.

Our Lord cares for us most tenderly when we feel nearly abandoned and cast aside because of our sin and because we deserve it. Through his grace, the humility we gain from this raises us very high in God's sight. We feel deep sorrow for our sins, compassion, and a true longing for God. Then they are suddenly freed from sin and pain, taken up to bliss, and made great saints.

By contrition we are made clean, by compassion we are made ready, and by true longing toward God we are made worthy. These are three means, as I understand, whereby that all souls come to heaven: that is to say, that have been sinners in earth and shall be saved: for by these three medicines it behoveth that every soul be healed. Though the soul be healed, his wounds are seen afore God,—not as wounds but as worships. And so on the contrary-wise, as we be punished here with sorrow and penance, we shall be rewarded in heaven by the courteous love of our Lord God Almighty, who willeth that none that come there lose his travail in any degree. For He [be]holdeth sin as sorrow and pain to His lovers, to whom He assigneth no blame, for love. The meed that we shall receive shall not be little, but it shall be high, glorious, and worshipful. And so shall shame be turned to worship and more joy.

Through repentance we are made clean, through compassion we are made ready, and through true longing for God we are made worthy. As I understand it, these are three ways by which souls who have sinned on earth and will be saved come to heaven. For every such soul must be healed by these three medicines. Though the soul is healed, its wounds are seen before God, not as wounds but as marks of honor. So, in contrast to the sorrow and penance we suffer here, we shall be rewarded in heaven by the gracious love of our Lord God Almighty. He does not want anyone who comes to heaven to lose any reward for their suffering. For he sees sin as sorrow and pain for those who love him. In his love, he places no blame on them. The reward we shall receive will not be small. It will be great, glorious, and honorable. And so shame will be turned into honor and greater joy.

But our courteous Lord willeth not that His servants despair, for often nor for grievous falling: for our falling hindereth⁵ not Him to love us. Peace and love are ever in us, being and working; but we be not alway in peace and in love. But He willeth that we take heed thus that He is Ground of all our whole life in love; and furthermore that He is our everlasting Keeper and mightily defendeth us against our enemies, that be full fell and fierce upon us;—and so much our need is the more for [that] we give them occasion by our falling.⁶

But our gracious Lord does not want his servants to despair, even when they fall often or grievously. For our falling does not prevent⁵ him from loving us. Peace and love are always present and active in us, but we are not always at peace or living in love. He wants us to remember that he is the foundation of our whole life in love. He is also our everlasting guardian. He powerfully defends us against our enemies, who are savage and fierce toward us. We need his defense all the more because our falling gives these enemies an opportunity.⁶