Chapter 33

And yet in this I desired, as [far] as I durst, that I might have full sight of Hell and Purgatory. But it was not my meaning to make proof of anything that belongeth to the Faith: for I believed soothfastly that Hell and Purgatory is for the same end that Holy Church teacheth, but my meaning was that I might have seen, for learning in all things that belong to my Faith: whereby I might live the more to God's worship and to my profit.

And yet, as far as I dared, I wished to see Hell and Purgatory fully. But I did not intend to test anything belonging to the Faith. I truly believed that Hell and Purgatory serve the purpose taught by Holy Church. Rather, I wished to see them so that I might learn about all things belonging to my Faith. In this way, I might live more fully for God's worship and for my own benefit.

But for [all] my desire, I could¹ [see] of this right nought, save as it is aforesaid in the First Shewing, where I saw that the devil is reproved of God and endlessly condemned. In which sight I understood as to all creatures that are of the devil's condition in this life, and therein end, that there is no more mention made of them afore God and all His Holy than of the devil,—notwithstanding that they be of mankind—whether they be christened or not.

But despite all my desire, I could¹ see nothing of this except what I have already described in the First Shewing. There I saw that God rebukes the devil and condemns him forever. From this sight, I understood that some creatures are like the devil in this life and remain so until the end. Before God and all his holy ones, they are mentioned no more than the devil is. This is so even though they are human, whether they are baptized or not.

For though the Revelation was made of goodness in which was made little mention of evil, yet I was not drawn thereby from any point of the Faith that Holy Church teacheth me to believe. For I had sight of the Passion of Christ in diverse Shewings,—the First, the Second, the Fifth, and the Eighth,—wherein I had in part a feeling of the sorrow of our Lady, and of His true friends that saw Him in pain; but I saw not so properly specified the Jews that did Him to death. Notwithstanding I knew in my Faith that they were accursed and condemned without end, saving those that converted, by grace. And I was strengthened and taught generally to keep me in the Faith in every point, and in all as I had before understood: hoping that I was therein with the mercy and the grace of God; desiring and praying in my purpose that I might continue therein unto my life's end.

Although the Revelation concerned goodness and mentioned evil only a little, it did not draw me away from any point of the Faith that Holy Church teaches me to believe. For I saw the Passion of Christ in several Showings: the First, the Second, the Fifth, and the Eighth. In these I felt some of the sorrow of our Lady and his true friends who saw him in pain. But I did not see the Jews who put him to death shown so distinctly. Nevertheless, I knew through my Faith that they were cursed and condemned forever, except those who converted through grace. I was strengthened and taught to keep every point of the Faith, just as I had understood it before. I hoped that I held to the Faith through the mercy and grace of God. And I desired and prayed that I might continue in it until the end of my life.

And it is God's will that we have great regard to all His deeds that He hath done, but evermore it needeth us to leave the beholding what the Deed shall be. And let us desire to be like our brethren which be saints in Heaven, that will right nought but God's will and are well pleased both with hiding and with shewing. For I saw soothly in our Lord's teaching, the more we busy us to know His secret counsels in this or any other thing, the farther shall we be from the knowing thereof.

God wants us to pay close attention to all the deeds he has done. But we must always refrain from trying to see what he will do. Let us desire to be like our brothers and sisters who are saints in Heaven. They want nothing but God’s will and are content whether he hides or reveals things. For I truly saw in our Lord’s teaching that the more we try to know his secret plans, whether in this matter or any other, the farther we will be from knowing them.