Chapter 17

And in this dying was brought to my mind the words of Christ: I thirst.

And as he was dying, I was reminded of Christ's words: I thirst.

For I saw in Christ a double thirst: one bodily; another spiritual, the which I shall speak of in the Thirty-first Chapter.

For I saw that Christ had two kinds of thirst: one physical and one spiritual. I will speak of the spiritual thirst in Chapter Thirty-one.

For this word was shewed for the bodily thirst: the which I understood was caused by failing of moisture. For the blessed flesh and bones was left all alone without blood and moisture. The blessed body dried alone long time with wringing of the nails and weight of the body. For I understood that for tenderness of the sweet hands and of the sweet feet, by the greatness, hardness, and grievousness of the nails the wounds waxed wide and the body sagged, for weight by long time hanging. And [therewith was] piercing and pressing of the head, and binding of the Crown all baked with dry blood, with the sweet hair clinging, and the dry flesh, to the thorns, and the thorns to the flesh drying; and in the beginning while the flesh was fresh and bleeding, the continual sitting of the thorns made the wounds wide. And furthermore I saw that the sweet skin and the tender flesh, with the hair and the blood, was all raised and loosed about from the bone, with the thorns where-through it were rent in many pieces, as a cloth that were sagging, as if it would hastily have fallen off, for heaviness and looseness, while it had natural moisture. And that was great sorrow and dread to me: for methought I would not for my life have seen it fall. How it was done I saw not; but understood it was with the sharp thorns and the violent and grievous setting on of the Garland of Thorns, unsparingly and without pity. This continued awhile, and soon it began to change, and I beheld and marvelled how it might be. And then I saw it was because it began to dry, and stint a part of the weight, and set about the Garland. And thus it encircled all about, as it were garland upon garland. The Garland of the Thorns was dyed with the blood, and that other garland [of Blood] and the head, all was one colour, as clotted blood when it is dry. The skin of the flesh that shewed (of the face and of the body), was small-rimpled¹ with a tanned colour, like a dry board when it is aged; and the face more brown than the body.

For this word was shown to me because of his bodily thirst. I understood that his thirst was caused by the loss of moisture. For the blessed flesh and bones were left entirely without blood or moisture. The blessed body hung drying for a long time, strained by the nails and its own weight. I understood that his sweet hands and feet were tender. The large, hard nails caused such pain that the wounds grew wider. His body sagged under its weight as it hung there for a long time. His head was also pierced and pressed by the crown, which was bound tightly around it. The crown was all caked with dried blood. His sweet hair and drying flesh clung to the thorns, and the thorns clung to his flesh. At first, while the flesh was fresh and bleeding, the constant pressure of the thorns widened the wounds. I also saw that the sweet skin and tender flesh, with the hair and blood, had all risen and come loose from the bone around his head. The thorns had torn them into many pieces. They hung down like a sagging cloth, as if they would soon fall off because of their weight and looseness, while they still held their natural moisture. This filled me with great sorrow and dread. I felt that I would not have seen it fall for anything, not even to save my life. I did not see how this happened. But I understood that the sharp thorns had caused it, and that the Garland of Thorns had been forced onto his head violently and painfully, without restraint or pity. This continued for a while, and then it soon began to change. I watched and wondered how this could be. Then I saw that the flesh had begun to dry. This reduced some of its weight, and it settled around the Garland. In this way it went all the way around, like one garland upon another. The Garland of Thorns was stained with blood. The other garland [of Blood] and the head were all the same color, like dried, clotted blood. The visible skin of his face and body was finely wrinkled¹ and tan, like an old, dry board. His face was browner than his body.

I saw four manner of dryings: the first was bloodlessness; the second was pain following after; the third, hanging up in the air, as men hang a cloth to dry; the fourth, that the bodily Kind asked liquid and there was no manner of comfort ministered to Him in all His woe and distress. Ah! hard and grievous was his pain, but much more hard and grievous it was when the moisture failed and began to dry thus, shrivelling.

I saw four kinds of drying. The first was the loss of blood. The second was the pain that followed. The third was hanging in the air, as people hang a cloth to dry. The fourth was that his body needed liquid, but he was given no comfort in all his suffering and distress. Ah! His pain was hard and grievous, but it became much harder and more grievous when the moisture failed and his body began to dry and shrivel.

These were the pains that shewed in the blessed head: the first wrought to the dying, while it had moisture; and that other, slow, with shrinking drying, [and] with blowing of the wind from without, that dried and pained Him with cold more than mine heart can think.

These were the pains shown in his blessed head. The first continued until death, while the head still had moisture. The other came slowly, as the head shrank and dried. The wind blowing from outside dried it and caused him more pain from the cold than my heart can imagine.

And other pains—for which pains I saw that all is too little that I can say: for it may not be told.

And other pains. I saw that everything I can say about those pains is too little, for they cannot be described.

The which Shewing of Christ's pains filled me full of pain. For I wist well He suffered but once, but [this was as if] He would shew it me and fill me with mind as I had afore desired. And in all this time of Christ's pains I felt no pain but for Christ's pains. Then thought-me: I knew but little what pain it was that I asked; and, as a wretch, repented me, thinking: If I had wist what it had been, loth me had been to have prayed it. For methought it passed bodily death, my pains.

The sight of Christ’s suffering filled me with pain. I knew well that he suffered only once. But [it was as if] he wanted to show me his suffering and fill my mind with it, as I had wished before. Throughout this time, I felt no pain except for Christ’s suffering. Then I thought: I knew so little of the pain I had asked for. And, like a wretch, I regretted my request, thinking: If I had known what it would be like, I would have been reluctant to pray for it. For it seemed to me that my pain was worse than bodily death.

I thought: Is any pain like this? And I was answered in my reason: Hell is another pain: for there is despair. But of all pains that lead to salvation this is the most pain, to see thy Love suffer. How might any pain be more to me than to see Him that is all my life, all my bliss, and all my joy, suffer? Here felt I soothfastly² that I loved Christ so much above myself that there was no pain that might be suffered like to that sorrow that I had to [see] Him in pain.

I thought: Is any pain like this? And my reason answered me: Hell is a different pain, because there is despair. But of all pains that lead to salvation, the greatest is seeing your beloved suffer. How could any pain be greater for me than seeing him suffer? He is all my life, all my happiness, and all my joy. Here I truly² felt that I loved Christ so much more than myself. No pain I could suffer was like the sorrow I felt at seeing him in pain.