Chapter 15

And after this He shewed a sovereign ghostly pleasante in my soul. I was fulfilled with the everlasting sureness, mightily sustained without any painful dread. This feeling was so glad and so ghostly that I was in all peace and in rest, that there was nothing in earth that should have grieved me.

After this, he showed my soul a supreme spiritual delight. I was filled with the assurance of everlasting life and strongly sustained without any painful fear. This feeling was so joyful and spiritual that I was completely at peace and at rest. Nothing on earth could have troubled me.

This lasted but a while, and I was turned and left to myself in heaviness, and weariness of my life, and irksomeness of myself, that scarcely I could have patience to live. There was no comfort nor none ease to me but faith, hope, and charity; and these I had in truth, but little in feeling.

This lasted only a short while. Then I was changed and left to myself, feeling sad, weary of life, and troubled by myself. I could hardly bear to go on living. Faith, hope, and love were my only comfort and relief. I truly had them, but I felt them only a little.

And anon after this our blessed Lord gave me again the comfort and the rest in soul, in satisfying and sureness so blissful and so mighty that no dread, no sorrow, no pain bodily that might be suffered should have distressed me. And then the pain shewed again to my feeling, and then the joy and the pleasing, and now that one, and now that other, divers times—I suppose about twenty times. And in the time of joy I might have said with Saint Paul: Nothing shall dispart me from the charity of Christ; and in the pain I might have said with Peter: Lord, save me: I perish!

Soon afterward, our blessed Lord again gave me comfort and rest in my soul. He gave me such blissful and powerful contentment and assurance that no fear, sorrow, or physical pain I might suffer could have distressed me. Then I felt the pain again, followed by joy and delight. The pain and joy alternated several times, about twenty times, I think. In times of joy, I could have said with Saint Paul: Nothing shall separate me from the love of Christ. And in pain, I could have said with Peter: Lord, save me: I am dying!

This Vision was shewed me, according to mine understanding, [for] that it is speedful to some souls to feel on this wise: sometime to be in comfort, and sometime to fail and to be left to themselves. God willeth that we know that He keepeth us even alike secure in woe and in weal. And for profit of man's soul, a man is sometime left to himself; although sin is not always the cause: for in this time I sinned not wherefore I should be left to myself—for it was so sudden. Also I deserved not to have this blessed feeling. But freely our Lord giveth when He will; and suffereth us [to be] in woe sometime. And both is one love.

As I understood it, this vision was shown to me because some souls benefit from feeling this way. Sometimes they feel comforted, and sometimes their comfort fails and they are left to themselves. God wants us to know that he keeps us equally safe in sorrow and in happiness. For the good of a person’s soul, God sometimes leaves that person to themselves. Yet sin is not always the cause. At this time, I had not sinned in a way that would have caused God to leave me to myself. The change was too sudden for that. Nor did I deserve to have this blessed feeling. But our Lord freely gives it when he wills, and sometimes he allows us to be in sorrow. Both come from the same love.

For it is God's will that we hold us in comfort with all our might: for bliss is lasting without end, and pain is passing and shall be brought to nought for them that shall be saved. And therefore it is not God's will that we follow the feelings of pain in sorrow and mourning for them, but that we suddenly pass over, and hold us in endless enjoyment.

God wants us to take comfort with all our strength. For joy lasts forever, while pain passes and will come to nothing for those who will be saved. So God does not want us to dwell on feelings of pain in sorrow and mourning. Instead, he wants us to move past them at once and remain in endless joy.