Chapter 10

And after this I saw with bodily sight in the face of the crucifix that hung before me, on the which I gazed continually, a part of His Passion: despite, spitting and sullying, and buffetting, and many languoring pains, more than I can tell, and often changing of colour. And one time I saw half the face, beginning at the ear, over-gone with dry blood till it covered to the mid-face. And after that the other half [was] covered on the same wise, the whiles in this [first] part [it vanished] even as it came.

After this, I saw part of his Passion with my own eyes in the face of the crucifix hanging before me. I gazed at it continually. I saw contempt, spitting and defilement, blows, and many lingering pains, more than I can describe. His face changed color often. At one point, I saw dried blood spread from the ear to the middle of his face, covering one half. Then the other half was covered in the same way. Meanwhile, the blood on the first half vanished just as it had appeared.

This saw I bodily, troublously and darkly; and I desired more bodily sight, to have seen more clearly. And I was answered in my reason: If God will shew thee more, He shall be thy light: thee needeth none but Him. For I saw Him sought.¹

I saw this with my bodily eyes, but the sight was troubling and unclear. I wanted to see more with my bodily eyes, so that I could see more clearly. And I received this answer in my mind: If God wants to show you more, he will be your light. You need no one but him. For I saw him being sought.¹

For we are now so blind and unwise that we never seek God till He of His goodness shew Himself to us. And when we aught see of Him graciously, then are we stirred by the same grace to seek with great desire to see Him more blissfully.

For we are now so blind and unwise that we never seek God until he, in his goodness, shows himself to us. And when he graciously allows us to see something of him, that same grace moves us to seek him. We long to see him more blissfully.

And thus I saw Him, and sought Him; and I had Him, I wanted Him. And this is, and should be, our common working in this [life], as to my sight.

And so I saw him and sought him. I had him, and I longed for him. As I see it, this is and should be what we all do in this life.

One time mine understanding was led down into the sea-ground, and there I saw hills and dales green, seeming as it were moss-be-grown, with wrack and gravel. Then I understood thus: that if a man or woman were under the broad water, if he might have sight of God so as God is with a man continually, he should be safe in body and soul, and take no harm: and overpassing, he should have more solace and comfort than all this world can tell. For He willeth we should believe that we see Him continually though that to us it seemeth but little [of sight]; and in this belief He maketh us evermore to gain grace. For He will be seen and He will be sought: He will be abided and he will be trusted.

Once my understanding was led down to the sea floor. There I saw green hills and valleys, seemingly covered with moss, seaweed, and gravel. Then I understood that a man or woman beneath the vast water would be safe in body and soul if they could see God, who is always with us. They would come to no harm. More than that, they would have more solace and comfort than all this world can describe. For he wants us to believe that we see him continually, though it seems to us that we see very little of him. Through this belief, he continually helps us gain grace. For he wants to be seen and sought. He wants us to wait for him and trust him.

This Second Shewing was so low and so little and so simple, that my spirits were in great travail in the beholding,—mourning, full of dread, and longing: for I was some time in doubt whether it was a Shewing. And then diverse times our good Lord gave me more sight, whereby I understood truly that it was a Shewing. It was a figure and likeness of our foul deeds' shame that our fair, bright, blessed Lord bare for our sins: it made me to think of the Holy Vernacle² at Rome, which He hath portrayed with His own blessed face when He was in His hard Passion, with steadfast will going to His death, and often changing of colour. Of the brownness and blackness, the ruefulness and wastedness of this Image many marvel how it might be, since that He portrayed it with His blessed Face who is the fairness of heaven, flower of earth, and the fruit of the Maiden's womb. Then how might this Image be so darkening in colour³ and so far from fair?—I desire to tell like as I have understood by the grace of God:—

This Second Showing was so humble, slight, and simple that my spirit struggled greatly as I beheld it. I mourned, full of fear and longing, for at times I doubted whether it was a Showing. Then, several times, our good Lord let me see more, so that I understood it truly was a Showing. It was an image of the shame of our foul deeds, which our fair, radiant, blessed Lord bore for our sins. It made me think of the Holy Vernacle² at Rome. He made this image with his own blessed face during his cruel Passion, as he went resolutely to his death, his color often changing. Many wonder how this image could be brown and black, so pitiful and worn. For he made it with his blessed face, he who is the beauty of heaven, the flower of earth, and the fruit of the Maiden's womb. How then could this image be so dark in color³ and so far from beautiful? I wish to tell what I have understood through the grace of God:

We know in our Faith, and believe by the teaching and preaching of Holy Church, that the blessed Trinity made Mankind to⁴ His image and to His likeness. In the same manner-wise we know that when man fell so deep and so wretchedly by sin, there was none other help to restore man but through Him that made man. And He that made man for love, by the same love He would restore man to the same bliss, and overpassing; and like as we were like-made to the Trinity in our first making, our Maker would that we should be like Jesus Christ, Our Saviour, in heaven without end, by the virtue of our again-making.

We know through our faith, and believe through the teaching and preaching of Holy Church, that the blessed Trinity made mankind in⁴ his image and likeness. We also know that when humanity fell so deeply and miserably through sin, only its maker could restore it. And he who made humanity for love chose, through that same love, to restore it to the same bliss and beyond. Just as we were made in the likeness of the Trinity at our first creation, our maker wanted us to be like Jesus Christ, our Saviour, in heaven forever through the power of our being made anew.

Then atwix these two, He would for love and worship of man make Himself as like to man in this deadly life, in our foulness and our wretchedness, as man might be without guilt. This is that which is meant where it is said afore: it was the image and likeness of our foul black deeds' shame wherein our fair, bright, blessed Lord God was hid. But full certainly I dare say, and we ought to trow it, that so fair a man was never none but He, till what time His fair colour was changed with travail and sorrow and Passion and dying. Of this it is spoken in the Eighth Revelation, where it treateth more of the same likeness. And where it speaketh of the Vernacle of Rome, it meaneth by [reason of] diverse changing of colour and countenance, sometime more comfortably and life-like, sometime more ruefully and death-like, as it may be seen in the Eighth Revelation.

Then, between these two, he chose, out of love and honor for humanity, to become as like us as possible in this mortal life. He shared our filth and wretchedness, but without guilt. This is what was meant earlier by the image and likeness of the shame of our foul, black deeds. In that image, our beautiful, radiant, blessed Lord God was hidden. But I dare say with complete certainty, and we ought to believe, that no man was ever as beautiful as he was. Then his beautiful complexion was changed by suffering, sorrow, his Passion, and death. This likeness is discussed further in the Eighth Revelation. And the passage about the Vernacle of Rome refers to changes in its color and appearance. Sometimes it looks more comforting and lifelike, and sometimes more sorrowful and deathlike, as can be seen in the Eighth Revelation.

And this [dim] vision was a learning, to mine understanding, that the continual seeking of the soul pleaseth God full greatly: for it may do no more than seek, suffer and trust. And this is wrought in the soul that hath it, by the Holy Ghost; and the clearness of finding, it is of His special grace, when it is His will. The seeking, with faith, hope, and charity, pleaseth our Lord, and the finding pleaseth the soul and fulfilleth it with joy. And thus was I learned, to mine understanding, that seeking is as good as beholding, for the time that He will suffer the soul to be in travail. It is God's will that we seek Him, to the beholding of Him, for by that⁵ He shall shew us Himself of His special grace when He will. And how a soul shall have Him in its beholding, He shall teach Himself: and that is most worship to Him and profit to thyself, and [the soul thus] most receiveth of meekness and virtues with the grace and leading of the Holy Ghost. For a soul that only fasteneth it[self] on to God with very trust, either by seeking or in beholding, it is the most worship that it may do to Him, as to my sight.

And this [dim] vision taught me, as I understood it, that the soul’s continual seeking greatly pleases God. For the soul can do no more than seek, suffer, and trust. The Holy Ghost brings about this seeking in the soul. But the clarity of finding it comes through his special grace, when he wills it. Seeking with faith, hope, and love pleases our Lord. Finding pleases the soul and fills it with joy. So I was taught, as I understood it, that seeking is as good as beholding. This is true for as long as he allows the soul to struggle. It is God’s will that we seek him, so that we may behold him. For through that⁵ he will show himself to us by his special grace, when he wills it. He himself will teach a soul how to behold him. That brings him the greatest honor and benefits you most. And [the soul in this way] receives the most humility and virtue through the grace and guidance of the Holy Ghost. For a soul may cling to God with true trust, either by seeking or by beholding him. As I see it, this is the greatest honor the soul can give him.

These are two workings that may be seen in this Vision: the one is seeking, the other is beholding. The seeking is common,—that every soul may have with His grace,—and ought to have that discretion and teaching of the Holy Church. It is God's will that we have three things in our seeking:—The first is that we seek earnestly and diligently, without sloth, and, as it may be through His grace, without unreasonable⁶ heaviness and vain sorrow. The second is, that we abide Him steadfastly for His love, without murmuring and striving against Him, to our life's end: for it shall last but awhile. The third is that we trust in Him mightily of full assured faith. For it is His will that we know that He shall appear suddenly and blissfully to all that love Him.

Two kinds of activity can be seen in this Vision: seeking and beholding. Seeking is common to all. Every soul may seek with his grace and should do so with the guidance and teaching of the Holy Church. God wants us to do three things as we seek. First, we should seek earnestly and diligently, without laziness. As far as his grace allows, we should also seek without unreasonable⁶ heaviness and needless sorrow. Second, we should wait for him steadfastly, for love of him, until the end of our lives. We should not complain or struggle against him, for our waiting will last only a little while. Third, we should trust in him strongly, with a fully assured faith. For he wants us to know that he will appear suddenly and joyfully to all who love him.

For His working is privy, and He willeth to be perceived; and His appearing shall be swiftly sudden; and He willeth to be trusted. For He is full gracious⁷ and homely: Blessed may He be!

For his work is hidden, yet he wants us to perceive it. He will appear swiftly and suddenly, and he wants us to trust him. For he is full of grace⁷ and familiar to us. Blessed be he!