Chapter 76

I speak but little of reverent dread, for I hope it may be seen in this matter aforesaid. But well I wot our Lord shewed me no souls but those that dread Him. For well I wot the soul that truly taketh the teaching of the Holy Ghost, it hateth more sin for vileness and horribleness than it doth all the pain that is in hell. For the soul that beholdeth the fair nature¹ of our Lord Jesus, it hateth no hell but sin, as to my sight. And therefore it is God's will that we know sin, and pray busily and travail earnestly and seek teaching meekly that we fall not blindly therein; and if we fall, that we rise readily. For it is the most pain that the soul may have, to turn from God any time by sin.

I say little about reverent fear, for I hope it can be seen in what I have already said. But I know well that our Lord showed me no souls except those who fear him. For I know well that a soul who truly accepts the Holy Spirit's teaching hates sin for its vileness and horror more than all the pain in hell. As I see it, a soul who contemplates the beautiful nature¹ of our Lord Jesus hates no hell, only sin. Therefore, God wants us to recognize sin, pray diligently, work earnestly, and humbly seek guidance so that we do not fall blindly into sin. And if we fall, he wants us to rise again readily. For turning away from God through sin, even for a moment, is the greatest pain a soul can suffer.

The soul that willeth to be in rest when [an] other man's sin cometh to mind, he shall flee it as the pain of hell, seeking unto God for remedy, for help against it. For the beholding of other man's sins, it maketh as it were a thick mist afore the eyes of the soul, and we cannot, for the time, see the fairness of God, but if we may behold them with contrition with him, with compassion on him, and with holy desire to God for him. For without this it harmeth² and tempesteth and hindereth the soul that beholdeth them. For this I understood in the Shewing of Compassion.

A soul that wishes to be at rest should flee the thought of another person's sin as it would the pain of hell. It should turn to God for a remedy and help against that thought. For dwelling on another person's sins is like a thick mist before the eyes of the soul. For the time being, we cannot see the beauty of God, unless we can view those sins with sorrow alongside the person, with compassion for them, and with a holy desire to God for their sake. Without this, dwelling on those sins harms² and troubles and hinders the soul that sees them. For I understood this in the Shewing of Compassion.

In this blissful Shewing of our Lord I have understanding of two contrary things: the one is the most wisdom that any creature may do in this life, the other is the most folly. The most wisdom is for a creature to do after the will and counsel of his highest sovereign Friend. This blessed Friend is Jesus, and it is His will and His counsel that we hold us with Him, and fasten us to Him homely—evermore, in what state soever that we be; for whether-so that we be foul or clean, we are all one in His loving. For weal nor for woe He willeth never we flee from Him. But because of the changeability that we are in, in our self, we fall often into sin. Then we have this [doubting dread] by the stirring of our enemy and by our own folly and blindness: for they say thus: Thou seest well thou art a wretched creature, a sinner, and also unfaithful. For thou keepest not the Command³; thou dost promise oftentimes our Lord that thou shalt do better, and anon after, thou fallest again into the same, especially into sloth and losing of time. (For that is the beginning of sin, as to my sight,—and especially to the creatures that have given them to serve our Lord with inward beholding of His blessed Goodness.) And this maketh us adread to appear afore our courteous Lord. Thus is it our enemy that would put us aback⁴ with his false dread, [by reason] of our wretchedness, through pain that he threateth us with. For it is his meaning to make us so heavy and so weary in this, that we should let out of mind the fair, Blissful Beholding of our Everlasting Friend.

In this blissful showing of our Lord, I understand two opposing things. One is the greatest wisdom any creature can show in this life, and the other is the greatest folly. The greatest wisdom is to follow the will and counsel of our highest sovereign Friend. This blessed Friend is Jesus. His will and counsel are that we stay close to him and bind ourselves to him in intimate trust. We should do this always, whatever state we are in. For whether we are foul or clean, we are all alike in his love. In good times or bad, he never wants us to flee from him. But because we are changeable in ourselves, we often fall into sin. Then our enemy stirs up [doubting fear] in us, as do our own folly and blindness. For they say: You can see that you are a wretched creature, a sinner, and unfaithful too. You do not keep the Command³. You often promise our Lord that you will do better. Soon afterward, you fall again into the same sin, especially laziness and wasting time. (For as I see it, that is the beginning of sin. This is especially so for creatures who have given themselves to serve our Lord by inwardly contemplating his blessed Goodness.) And this makes us afraid to appear before our courteous Lord. Thus our enemy would drive us back⁴ with his false fear. He points to our wretchedness and threatens us with pain. He means to make us so burdened and weary from this fear that we forget the fair, Blissful Contemplation of our Everlasting Friend.