Chapter 73

All the blessed teaching of our Lord was shewed by three parts: that is to say, by bodily sight, and by word formed in mine understanding, and by spiritual sight. For the bodily sight, I have said as I saw, as truly as I can; and for the words, I have said them right as our Lord shewed them to me; and for the spiritual sight, I have told some deal, but I may never fully tell it: and therefore of this sight I am stirred to say more, as God will give me grace.

All the blessed teaching of our Lord was shown in three ways: through bodily sight, through words formed in my understanding, and through spiritual sight. I have described what I saw with my body as truthfully as I can. I have given the words just as our Lord showed them to me. I have said something about the spiritual sight, but I can never fully describe it. So I am moved to say more about this sight, as God gives me grace.

God shewed two manners of sickness that we have: the one is impatience, or sloth: for we bear our travail and our pains heavily; the other is despair, or doubtful dread, which I shall speak of after. Generally, He shewed sin, wherein that all is comprehended, but in special He shewed only these two. And these two are they that most do travail and tempest us, according to that which our Lord shewed me; and of them He would have us be amended. I speak of such men and women as for God's love hate sin and dispose themselves to do God's will: then by our spiritual blindness and bodily heaviness we are most inclining to these. And therefore it is God's will that they be known, for then we shall refuse them as we do other sins.

God showed me two kinds of sickness we have. The first is impatience or sloth, because we bear our troubles and pains with difficulty. The second is despair or anxious fear, which I shall speak of later. In general, he showed me sin, which includes all these things, but he showed me only these two in particular. As our Lord showed me, these two trouble and disturb us most, and he wants us to overcome them. I am speaking of men and women who hate sin for God’s love and set themselves to do God’s will. Even so, our spiritual blindness and bodily weakness make us especially prone to these two sicknesses. Therefore, God wants us to recognize them, so that we will reject them as we do other sins.

And for help of this, full meekly our Lord shewed the patience that He had in His Hard Passion; and also the joying and the satisfying that He hath of that Passion, for love. And this He shewed in example that we should gladly and wisely bear our pains, for that is great pleasing to Him and endless profit to us. And the cause why we are travailed with them is for lack in knowing¹ of Love. Though the three Persons in the Trinity² be all even³ in Itself, the soul⁴ took most understanding in Love; yea, and He willeth that in all things we have our beholding and our enjoying in Love. And of this knowing are we most blind. For some of us believe that God is Almighty and may do all, and that He is All-Wisdom and can do all; but that He is All-Love and will do all, there we stop short.⁵ And this not-knowing it is, that hindereth most God's lovers, as to my sight.

To help us with this, our Lord humbly showed us his patience during his hard Passion. He also showed us the joy and satisfaction he takes in that Passion, for love. He showed us this as an example, so that we would gladly and wisely bear our pains. For this pleases him greatly and benefits us endlessly. We are troubled by our pains because we lack knowledge¹ of Love. Although the three Persons of the Trinity² are all equal³ in themselves, the soul⁴ gained the greatest understanding in Love. Indeed, he wants us to see and enjoy Love in all things. Yet we are most blind to this knowledge. Some of us believe that God is Almighty and can do all, and that he is All-Wisdom and knows how to do all. But we stop short of believing that he is All-Love and wills to do all.⁵ As I see it, this lack of knowledge is what most hinders those who love God.

For when we begin to hate sin, and amend us by the ordinance of Holy Church, yet there dwelleth a dread that letteth us, because of the beholding of our self and of our sins afore done. And some of us because of our every-daily sins: for we hold not our Covenants, nor keep we our cleanness that our Lord setteth us in, but fall oftentimes into so much wretchedness that shame it is to see it. And the beholding of this maketh us so sorry and so heavy, that scarsely we can find any comfort.

For when we begin to hate sin and mend our ways according to the guidance of Holy Church, fear still holds us back. This is because we look at ourselves and the sins we have committed before. For some of us, it is also because of our daily sins. We do not keep our promises or preserve the purity our Lord gives us. Instead, we often fall into such wretchedness that it is shameful to see. Seeing this makes us so sad and heavy-hearted that we can hardly find any comfort.

And this dread we take sometime for a meekness, but it is a foul blindness and a weakness.⁶ And we cannot despise it as we do another sin, that we know [as sin]: for it cometh [subtly] of Enmity, and it is against truth. For it is God's will that of all the properties of the blissful Trinity, we should have most sureness and comfort in Love: for Love maketh Might and Wisdom full meek to us. For right as by the courtesy of God He forgiveth our sin after the time that we repent us, right so willeth He that we forgive our sin, as anent our unskilful heaviness and our doubtful dreads.

And sometimes we take this fear for humility, but it is a shameful blindness and weakness.⁶ We cannot despise it as we do another sin that we recognize as sin. For this fear comes subtly from Enmity, and it is against the truth. God wills that, of all the qualities of the blessed Trinity, we should find the most assurance and comfort in Love. For Love makes Might and Wisdom gentle toward us. In his kindness, God forgives our sin once we repent. In the same way, he wills that we forgive our own sin and put aside our misguided sorrow and uncertain fears.