Chapter 52

And thus I saw that God rejoiceth that He is our Father, and God rejoiceth that He is our Mother, and God rejoiceth that He is our Very Spouse and our soul is His loved Wife. And Christ rejoiceth that He is our Brother, and Jesus rejoiceth that He is our Saviour. These are five high joys, as I understand, in which He willeth that we enjoy; Him praising, Him thanking, Him loving, Him endlessly blessing.

And so I saw that God rejoices in being our Father. God rejoices in being our Mother. God rejoices in being our true Spouse, and our soul is his beloved Wife. Christ rejoices in being our Brother, and Jesus rejoices in being our Savior. As I understand it, these are five great joys that he wants us to share. He wants us to praise him, thank him, love him, and bless him endlessly.

All that shall be saved, we have in us, for the time of this life, a marvellous mingling¹ both of weal and woe: we have in us our Lord Jesus uprisen, we have in us the wretchedness and the mischief of Adam's falling, dying. By Christ we are steadfastly kept, and by His grace touching us we are raised into sure trust of salvation. And by Adam's falling we are so broken, in our feeling, in diverse manners by sins and by sundry pains, in which we are made dark, that scarsely we can take any comfort. But in our intent² we abide in God, and faithfully trust to have mercy and grace; and this is His own working in us. And of His goodness He openeth the eye of our understanding, by which we have sight, sometime more and sometime less, according as God giveth ability to receive. And now we are raised into the one, and now we are suffered to fall into the other.

All of us who will be saved have within us, during this life, a wonderful mixture¹ of joy and sorrow. We have the risen Lord Jesus within us. We also have the misery and harm of Adam’s fall and death within us. Christ keeps us steadfast, and his grace touches us and raises us to a confident trust in salvation. But Adam’s fall has left us feeling broken in many ways by sins and various pains. These darken our understanding, so that we can hardly take any comfort. Yet in our intention² we remain in God and trust faithfully that we will receive mercy and grace. This is his own work in us. In his goodness, he opens the eye of our understanding. Through it, we see, sometimes more and sometimes less, according to the ability God gives us to receive. Now we are raised into the one, and now we are allowed to fall into the other.

And thus is this medley so marvellous in us that scarsely we know of our self or of our even-Christian in what way we stand, for the marvellousness of this sundry feeling. But that same Holy Assent, that we assent to God when we feel Him, truly setting our will to be with Him, with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our might. And then we hate and despise our evil stirrings and all that might be occasion of sin, spiritual and bodily.³ And yet nevertheless when this sweetness is hid, we fall again into blindness, and so into woe and tribulation in diverse manners. But then is this our comfort, that we know in our faith that by virtue of Christ which is our Keeper, we assent never thereto, but we groan there-against, and dure on, in pain and woe, praying, unto that time that He sheweth Him again to us.

This mixture within us is so marvelous that we hardly know where we or our fellow Christians stand. This is because our feelings are so wonderfully varied. But there is that same Holy Assent, when we say yes to God as we feel him. We truly set our will on being with him, with all our heart, all our soul, and all our strength. Then we hate and despise our evil impulses and everything that might lead us to sin, spiritually or physically.³ Yet when this sweetness is hidden, we fall back into blindness, and so into many kinds of suffering and trouble. But our comfort then is that we know in our faith that, through the power of Christ, who keeps us safe, we never consent to these things. Instead, we groan against them and endure in pain and suffering, praying until he shows himself to us again.

And thus we stand in this medley all the days of our life. But He willeth that we trust that He is lastingly with as. And that in three manner.—He is with us in Heaven, very Man, in His own Person, us updrawing; and that was shewed in [the Shewing of] the Spiritual Thirst. And He is with us in earth, us leading; and that was shewed in the Third [Shewing], where I saw God in a Point. And He is with us in our soul, endlessly dwelling, us ruling and keeping; and that was shewed in the Sixteenth [Shewing], as I shall tell.

And so we remain in this mixture all the days of our lives. But he wants us to trust that he is always with us in three ways. He is with us in heaven, truly human in his own person, drawing us upward. This was shown in [the Showing of] the Spiritual Thirst. He is with us on earth, leading us. This was shown in the Third [Showing], where I saw God in a Point. And he is with us in our souls, dwelling there endlessly, ruling and keeping us. This was shown in the Sixteenth [Showing], as I shall tell.

And thus in the Servant was shewed the scathe and blindness of Adam's falling; and in the Servant was shewed the wisdom and goodness of God's Son. And in the Lord was shewed the ruth and pity of Adam's woe, and in the Lord was shewed the high nobility and the endless worship that Mankind is come to by the virtue of the Passion and death of His dearworthy Son. And therefore mightily He joyeth in his falling for the high raising and fulness of bliss that Mankind is come to, overpassing that we should have had if he had not fallen.—And thus to see this overpassing nobleness was mine understanding led into God in the same time that I saw the Servant fall.

In the Servant, the harm and blindness caused by Adam’s fall were revealed. In the Servant, the wisdom and goodness of God’s Son were also revealed. In the Lord, compassion and pity for Adam’s suffering were revealed. In the Lord, the great nobility and everlasting honor gained by humanity were also revealed. Humanity gained these through the Passion and death of his beloved Son. Therefore, he rejoices greatly in Adam’s fall. For humanity has been raised so high and gained such fullness of bliss, beyond what we would have had if Adam had not fallen. As I saw the Servant fall, God led my understanding to see this surpassing nobility.

And thus we have, now, matter of mourning: for our sin is cause of Christ's pains; and we have, lastingly, matter of joy: for endless love made Him to suffer. And therefore the creature that seeth and feeleth the working of love by grace, hateth nought but sin: for of all things, to my sight, love and hate are [the] hardest and most unmeasureable contraries. And notwithstanding all this, I saw and understood in our Lord's meaning that we may not in this life keep us from sin as wholly in full cleanness as we shall be in Heaven. But we may well by grace keep us from the sins which would lead us to endless pains, as Holy Church teacheth us; and eschew venial [ones] reasonably up to our might. And if we by our blindness and our wretchedness any time fall, we should readily rise, knowing the sweet touching of grace, and with all our will amend us upon the teaching of Holy Church, according as the sin is grievous, and go forthwith to God in love; and neither, on the one side, fall over low, inclining to despair, nor, on the other side, be over-reckless, as if we made no matter of it⁴; but nakedly acknowledge our feebleness, finding that we may not stand a twinkling of an eye but by Keeping of grace, and reverently cleave to God, on Him only trusting.

So now we have reason to mourn, because our sin is the cause of Christ's suffering. And we have lasting reason to rejoice, because endless love made him suffer. Therefore, anyone who sees and feels love at work through grace hates nothing but sin. For, as I see it, love and hate are the strongest and most immeasurable opposites of all. Despite all this, I saw and understood that our Lord meant we cannot keep ourselves entirely free from sin in this life. We cannot be as completely pure as we shall be in Heaven. But by grace we can keep ourselves from the sins that would lead us to endless suffering, as Holy Church teaches us. We can also do our best to avoid venial sins, as far as we reasonably can. And if we ever fall through our blindness and wretchedness, we should quickly rise again. We should recognize the gentle touch of grace and amend our lives with all our will. We should do so according to the teaching of Holy Church and the seriousness of the sin. Then we should go straight to God in love. We should neither sink too low toward despair nor be so careless that we treat sin as if it did not matter⁴. Instead, we should openly acknowledge our weakness. We should recognize that we cannot stand for the blink of an eye without the keeping of grace. And we should reverently hold fast to God, trusting in him alone.

For after one wise is the Beholding by⁵ God, and after another wise is the Beholding by⁶ man. For it belongeth to man meekly to accuse himself, and it belongeth to the proper Goodness of our Lord God courteously to excuse man. And these be two parts that were shewed in the double Manner of Regard with which the Lord beheld the falling of His loved Servant. The one was shewed outward, very meekly and mildly, with great ruth and pity; and that of endless Love. And right thus willeth our Lord that we accuse our self, earnestly and truly seeing and knowing our falling and all the harms that come thereof; seeing and learning⁷ that we can never restore it; and therewith that we earnestly and truly see and know His everlasting love that He hath to us, and His plenteous mercy. And thus graciously to see and know both together is the meek accusing that our Lord asketh of us, and Himself worketh it where it is. And this is the lower part of man's life, and it was shewed in the [Lord's] outward manner of Regard. In which shewing I saw two parts: the one is the rueful falling of man, the other is the worshipful Satisfaction⁸ that our Lord hath made for man.

For God looks at things in one way,⁵ and we look at them in another.⁶ Our part is to humbly accuse ourselves, while our Lord God, in his own goodness, graciously excuses us. These two parts were shown in the two ways the Lord looked upon his beloved Servant's fall. One was shown outwardly, very humbly and gently, with great compassion and pity, born of endless love. In just this way, our Lord wants us to accuse ourselves. We must earnestly and truly see and know our fall and all the harm that comes from it. We must see and learn⁷ that we can never make good that harm. At the same time, we must earnestly and truly see and know his everlasting love for us and his abundant mercy. To see and know both together through his grace is the humble self-accusation our Lord asks of us. He himself brings it about wherever it is found. This is the lower part of human life, and it was shown in the [Lord's] outward way of looking. In this showing I saw two parts: the sorrowful fall of humanity, and the honorable Satisfaction⁸ our Lord has made for humanity.

The other manner of Regard was shewed inward: and that was more highly and all [fully] one.⁹ For the life and the virtue that we have in the lower part is of the higher, and it cometh down to us [from out] of the Natural love of the [high] Self, by [the working of] grace. Atwix [the life of] the one and [the life of] the other there is right nought: for it is all one love. Which one blessed love hath now, in us, double working: for in the lower part are pains and passions, mercies and forgiveness, and such other that are profitable; but in the higher part are none of these, but all one high love and marvellous joy: in¹⁰ which joy all pains are highly restored. And in this [time] our Lord showed not only our Excusing¹¹ [from blame, in His beholding of our higher part], but the worshipful nobility that He shall bring us to [by the working of grace in our lower part], turning all our blame [that is therein, from our falling] into endless worship [when we be oned to the high Self above].¹²

The other way of seeing was shown inwardly. It was higher and completely [and fully] one.⁹ For the life and power we have in the lower part come from the higher part. They come down to us [from] the natural love of the [high] Self, through [the working of] grace. There is nothing at all between [the life of] the one and [the life of] the other, for it is all one love. This one blessed love now works in us in two ways. In the lower part there are pains and passions, mercy and forgiveness, and other such things that are beneficial. But in the higher part there are none of these, only one high love and marvelous joy. In¹⁰ that joy all pains are fully restored. At this [time] our Lord showed not only that he excuses us¹¹ [from blame when he sees our higher part]. He also showed the honored nobility to which he will bring us [through the working of grace in our lower part]. He will turn all our blame [there, from our falling] into endless honor [when we are united with the high Self above].¹²