If You Can Speak Well

When Charles W. Eliot was president of Harvard, he said, "I recognize but one mental acquisition as an essential part of the education of a lady or gentleman, namely, an accurate and refined use of the mother-tongue."

When Charles W. Eliot was president of Harvard, he said, "I consider only one mental skill essential to the education of a lady or gentleman: the ability to use one's native language accurately and with refinement."

Sir Walter Scott defined "a good conversationalist" as "one who has ideas, who reads, thinks, listens, and who has therefore something to say."

Sir Walter Scott defined "a good conversationalist" as "someone who has ideas, reads, thinks, listens, and therefore has something to say."

There is no other one thing which enables us to make so good an impression, especially upon those who do not know us thoroughly, as the ability to converse well.

Nothing helps us make a better impression than the ability to converse well, especially with people who don't know us well.

To be a good conversationalist, able to interest people, to rivet their attention, to draw them to you naturally, by the very superiority of your conversational ability, is to be the possessor of a very great accomplishment, one which is superior to all others. It not only helps you to make a good impression upon strangers, it also helps you to make and keep friends. It opens doors and softens hearts. It makes you interesting in all sorts of company. It helps you to get on in the world. It sends you clients, patients, customers. It helps you into the best society, even though you are poor.

Being a good conversationalist is a great accomplishment, greater than all others. You can interest people, hold their attention, and naturally draw them to you through the sheer excellence of your conversation. It not only helps you make a good impression on strangers, but also helps you make and keep friends. It opens doors and softens hearts. It makes you interesting in all kinds of company. It helps you get ahead in the world. It brings you clients, patients, and customers. It helps you gain entry to the best social circles, even if you are poor.

A man who can talk well, who has the art of putting things in an attractive way, who can interest others immediately by his power of speech, has a very great advantage over one who may know more than he, but who cannot express himself with ease or eloquence.

A man who speaks well and presents things in an appealing way can immediately capture others’ interest. He has a great advantage over someone who may know more but cannot express himself easily or eloquently.

No matter how expert you may be in any other art or accomplishment, you cannot use your expertness always and everywhere as you can the power to converse well. If you are a musician, no matter how talented you may be, or how many years you may have spent in perfecting yourself in your specialty, or how much it may have cost you, only comparatively few people can ever hear or appreciate your music.

No matter how skilled you are in any other art or accomplishment, you cannot use that skill always and everywhere as you can the ability to converse well. If you are a musician, relatively few people can ever hear or appreciate your music. This is true no matter how talented you are, how many years you have spent perfecting your specialty, or how much it has cost you.

You may be a fine singer, and yet travel around the world without having an opportunity of showing your accomplishment, or without anyone guessing your specialty. But wherever you go and in whatever society you are, no matter what your station in life may be, you talk.

You may be a fine singer and travel around the world without a chance to show your talent. No one may even guess that singing is your specialty. But wherever you go, whatever company you keep, and whatever your position in life, you talk.

You may be a painter, you may have spent years with great masters, and yet, unless you have very marked ability so that your pictures are hung in the salons or in the great art galleries, comparatively few people will ever see them. But if you are an artist in conversation, everyone who comes in contact with you will see your life-picture, which you have been painting ever since you began to talk. Everyone knows whether you are an artist or a bungler.

You may be a painter who has spent years studying with great masters. Yet relatively few people will ever see your paintings unless you are talented enough to have them displayed in salons or major art galleries. But if you are an artist in conversation, everyone you meet will see the picture of your life. You have been painting that picture ever since you began to talk. Everyone knows whether you are an artist or a bungler.

In fact, you may have a great many accomplishments which people occasionally see or enjoy, and you may have a very beautiful home and a lot of property which comparatively few people ever know about; but if you are a good converser, everyone with whom you talk will feel the influence of your skill and charm.

In fact, you may have many accomplishments that people occasionally see or enjoy. You may also have a beautiful home and a lot of property that relatively few people know about. But if you are good at conversation, everyone you talk to will feel the influence of your skill and charm.

A noted society leader, who has been very successful in the launching of débutantes in society, always gives this advice to her protégés, "Talk, talk. It does not matter much what you say, but chatter away lightly and gayly. Nothing embarrasses and bores the average man so much as a girl who has to be entertained."

A well-known society leader has been very successful at introducing débutantes to society. She always gives her protégés this advice: "Talk, talk. It doesn't matter much what you say, but chat in a light, cheerful way. Nothing embarrasses and bores the average man more than a girl who has to be entertained."

There is a helpful suggestion in this advice. The way to learn to talk is to talk. The temptation for people who are unaccustomed to society, and who feel diffident, is to say nothing themselves and listen to what others say.

There is a helpful idea in this advice. The way to learn to talk is to talk. People who feel shy and are not used to social situations may be tempted to stay silent and listen to others.

Good talkers are always sought after in society. Everybody wants to invite Mrs. So-and-So to dinners or receptions because she is such a good talker. She entertains. She may have many defects, but people enjoy her society because she can talk well.

Good conversationalists are always in demand in social circles. Everyone wants to invite Mrs. So-and-So to dinners or receptions because she is such a good conversationalist. She entertains people. She may have many faults, but people enjoy her company because she can talk well.

Conversation, if used as an educator, is a tremendous power developer; but talking without thinking, without an effort to express oneself with clearness, conciseness, or efficiency, mere chattering, or gossiping, the average society small talk, will never get hold of the best thing in a man. It lies too deep for such superficial effort.

Conversation can be a powerful way to develop your abilities if you use it to learn. But talking without thinking or trying to express yourself clearly, concisely, or effectively will never bring out the best in you. Neither will mere chatter, gossip, or the usual social small talk. The best in a person lies too deep for such a superficial effort.

Thousands of young people who envy such of their mates as are getting on faster than they are keep on wasting their precious evenings and their half-holidays, saying nothing but the most frivolous, frothy, senseless things—things which do not rise to the level of humor, but the foolish, silly talk which demoralizes one's ambition, lowers one's ideals and all the standards of life, because it begets habits of superficial and senseless thinking. On the streets, on the cars, and in public places, loud, coarse voices are heard in light, flippant, slipshod speech, in coarse slang expressions. "You're talking through your hat"; "Search me"; "You just bet"; "Well, that's the limit"; "I hate that man; he gets on my nerves," and a score of other such vulgarities we often hear.

Thousands of young people envy their peers who are getting ahead faster. Yet they keep wasting their precious evenings and half days off on frivolous, empty, senseless talk. It is not even funny. This foolish chatter undermines ambition and lowers ideals and all standards of life because it creates habits of shallow, senseless thinking. On the streets, on public transportation, and in public places, we hear loud, coarse voices speaking carelessly and flippantly, using crude slang. We often hear expressions like "You're talking through your hat," "Search me," "You just bet," "Well, that's the limit," "I hate that man; he gets on my nerves," and dozens of other such vulgarities.

Nothing else will indicate your fineness or coarseness of culture, your breeding or lack of it, so quickly as your conversation. It will tell your whole life's story. What you say, and how you say it, will betray all your secrets, will give the world your true measure.

Nothing reveals the refinement or coarseness of your culture, or whether you were well brought up, as quickly as your conversation. It tells the story of your whole life. What you say and how you say it reveal all your secrets and show the world who you really are.

There is no accomplishment, no attainment which you can use so constantly and effectively, which will give so much pleasure to your friends, as fine conversation. There is no doubt that the gift of language was intended to be a much greater accomplishment than the majority of us have ever made of it.

No skill can be used as often or as effectively as good conversation, or give your friends as much pleasure. There is no doubt that the gift of language was meant to be a far greater skill than most of us have made it.

Most of us are bunglers in our conversation, because we do not make an art of it; we do not take the trouble or pains to learn to talk well. We do not read enough or think enough. Most of us express ourselves in sloppy, slipshod English, because it is so much easier to do so than it is to think before we speak, to make an effort to express ourselves with elegance, ease, and power.

Most of us are poor conversationalists because we do not treat conversation as an art. We do not take the trouble to learn to speak well. We do not read or think enough. Most of us express ourselves in sloppy, careless English because it is easier than thinking before we speak. It is easier than making an effort to express ourselves with elegance, ease, and power.

Poor conversers excuse themselves for not trying to improve by saying that "good talkers are born, not made." We might as well say that good lawyers, good physicians, or good merchants are born, not made. None of them would ever get very far without hard work. This is the price of all achievement that is of value.

People who are poor at conversation excuse themselves from trying to improve. They say that "good talkers are born, not made." We might as well say that good lawyers, doctors, or merchants are born, not made. None of them would get very far without hard work. Hard work is the price of every worthwhile achievement.

Many a man owes his advancement very largely to his ability to converse well. The ability to interest people in your conversation, to hold them, is a great power. The man who has a bungling expression, who knows a thing, but never can put it in logical, interesting, or commanding language, is always placed at a great disadvantage.

Many men owe much of their advancement to their ability to converse well. The ability to interest people and hold their attention in conversation is a great power. A man who speaks awkwardly is always at a great disadvantage. He may know something, but he can never express it logically, interestingly, or convincingly.

I know a business man who has cultivated the art of conversation to such an extent that it is a great treat to listen to him. His language flows with such liquid, limpid beauty, his words are chosen with such exquisite delicacy, taste, and accuracy, there is such a refinement in his diction that he charms everyone who hears him speak. All his life he has been a reader of the finest prose and poetry, and has cultivated conversation as a fine art.

I know a businessman who has become such a skilled conversationalist that listening to him is a great pleasure. His language flows with graceful clarity. He chooses his words with exquisite delicacy, taste, and precision. His speech is so refined that he charms everyone who hears him. All his life, he has read the finest prose and poetry and cultivated conversation as a fine art.

You may think you are poor and have no chance in life. You may be situated so that others are dependent upon you, and you may not be able to go to school or college, or to study music or art, as you long to; you may be tied down to an iron environment; you may be tortured with an unsatisfied, disappointed ambition; and yet you can become an interesting talker, because in every sentence you utter you can practise the best form of expression. Every book you read, every person with whom you converse, who uses good English, can help you.

You may think you are poor and have no chance in life. Others may depend on you, and you may not be able to attend school or college. You may long to study music or art but be unable to do so. You may be trapped in rigid circumstances and tormented by unfulfilled, disappointed ambition. Yet you can still become an interesting speaker, because you can practice expressing yourself well in every sentence you speak. Every book you read can help you, as can every person you talk with who uses good English.

Few people think very much about how they are going to express themselves. They use the first words that come to them. They do not think of forming a sentence so that it will have beauty, brevity, transparency, power. The words flow from their lips helter-skelter, with little thought of arrangement or order.

Few people give much thought to how they express themselves. They use the first words that come to mind. They do not try to make their sentences beautiful, brief, clear, or powerful. Their words tumble out in a jumble, with little thought for arrangement or order.

Now and then we meet a real artist in conversation, and it is such a treat and delight that we wonder why the most of us should be such bunglers in our conversation, that we should make such a botch of the medium of communication between human beings, when it is capable of being made the art of arts.

Every now and then, we meet a true artist of conversation. It is such a treat and delight that we wonder why most of us are so clumsy at it. Why do we make such a mess of the way human beings communicate, when conversation can be the greatest of all arts?

I have met a dozen persons in my lifetime who have given me such a glimpse of its superb possibilities that it has made all other arts seem comparatively unimportant to me.

In my life, I have met a dozen people who showed me a glimpse of its remarkable possibilities. That glimpse made all other arts seem less important to me.

I was once a visitor at Wendell Phillips's home in Boston, and the music of his voice, the liquid charm of his words, the purity, the transparency of his diction, the profundity of his knowledge, the fascination of his personality, and his marvelous art of putting things, I shall never forget. He sat down on the sofa beside me and talked as he would to an old schoolmate, and it seemed to me that I had never heard such exquisite and polished English. I have met several English people who possessed that marvelous power of "soul in conversation which charms all who come under its spell."

I once visited Wendell Phillips at his home in Boston. I will never forget the music of his voice, the flowing charm of his words, and his clear, pure language. I also remember his profound knowledge, his fascinating personality, and his remarkable way of expressing things. He sat beside me on the sofa and talked as he would to an old schoolmate. It seemed to me that I had never heard such beautiful, polished English. I have met several English people who had that same remarkable gift of "soul in conversation which charms all who come under its spell."

Mrs. Mary A. Livermore, Julia Ward Howe, and Elizabeth S. P. Ward, had this wonderful conversational charm, as has ex-President Eliot of Harvard.

Mrs. Mary A. Livermore, Julia Ward Howe, and Elizabeth S. P. Ward had this wonderful conversational charm. Former Harvard president Eliot has it too.

The quality of the conversation is everything. We all know people who use the choicest language and express their thoughts in fluent, liquid diction, who impress us by the wonderful flow of their conversation; but that is all there is to it. They do not impress us with their thoughts; they do not stimulate us to action. We do not feel any more determined to do something in the world, to be somebody, after we have heard them talk than we felt before.

The quality of a conversation is everything. We all know people who choose their words carefully and speak with remarkable ease and fluency. Their conversation impresses us, but that is all. Their thoughts do not impress us or inspire us to act. After hearing them, we feel no more determined to do something in the world or to be somebody than we did before.

We know other people who talk very little, but whose words are so full of meat and stimulating brain force that we feel ourselves multiplied many times by the power they have injected into us.

We know other people who speak very little, but their words are full of substance and stimulating mental energy. The power they put into us makes us feel many times stronger.

In olden times the art of conversation reached a much higher standard than that of to-day. The deterioration is due to the complete revolution in the conditions of modern civilization. Formerly people had almost no other way of communicating their thoughts than by speech. Knowledge of all kinds was disseminated almost wholly through the spoken word. There were no great daily newspapers, no magazines or periodicals of any kind.

In the past, the art of conversation was much more advanced than it is today. Its decline is due to the complete transformation of modern civilization. In the past, people had almost no way to share their thoughts except by speaking. Almost all knowledge was spread through speech. There were no major daily newspapers, magazines, or other periodicals.

The great discoveries of vast wealth in the precious minerals, the new world opened up by inventions and discoveries, and the great impetus to ambition have changed all this. In this lightning-express age, in these strenuous times, when everybody has the mania to attain wealth and position, we no longer have time to reflect with deliberation, and to develop our powers of conversation. In these great newspaper and periodical days, when everybody can get for one or a few cents the news and information which it has cost thousands of dollars to collect, everybody sits behind the morning sheet or is buried in a book or magazine. There is no longer the same need of communicating thought by the spoken word.

The discovery of vast wealth in precious minerals has changed all this. So have the new possibilities opened up by inventions and discoveries, and the great boost to ambition. In this lightning-fast age, these demanding times, everyone is obsessed with gaining wealth and status. We no longer have time to reflect carefully or develop our conversational skills. Today, newspapers and magazines offer news and information for a few cents or less, though gathering it costs thousands of dollars. So everyone sits behind the morning paper or is buried in a book or magazine. There is no longer the same need to share thoughts through conversation.

Oratory is becoming a lost art for the same reason. Printing has become so cheap that even the poorest homes can get more reading for a few dollars than kings and noblemen could afford in the Middle Ages.

Public speaking is becoming a lost art for the same reason. Printing has become so cheap that even the poorest homes can buy plenty to read for a few dollars. That is more than kings and nobles could afford in the Middle Ages.

It is a rare thing to find a polished conversationalist to-day. So rare is it to hear one speaking exquisite English, and using a superb diction, that it is indeed a luxury.

It is rare to find a skilled conversationalist today. Hearing someone speak beautiful English and choose words so well is truly a luxury.

Good reading, however, will not only broaden the mind and give new ideas, but it will also increase one's vocabulary, and that is a great aid to conversation. Many people have good thoughts and ideas, but they cannot express them because of the poverty of their vocabulary. They have not words enough to clothe their ideas and make them attractive. They talk around in a circle, repeat and repeat, because, when they want a particular word to convey their exact meaning, they cannot find it.

Good reading, however, does more than broaden the mind and introduce new ideas. It also builds vocabulary, which is a great help in conversation. Many people have good thoughts and ideas, but they lack the words to express them. They do not have enough words to present their ideas clearly and make them appealing. They talk in circles and repeat themselves because they cannot find the right word to convey their exact meaning.

If you are ambitious to talk well, you must be as much as possible in the society of well-bred, cultured people. If you seclude yourself, though you are a college graduate, you will be a poor converser.

If you want to speak well, spend as much time as possible with well-mannered, cultured people. If you isolate yourself, you will be a poor conversationalist, even if you are a college graduate.

We all sympathize with people, especially the timid and shy, who have that awful feeling of repression and stifling of thought, when they make an effort to say something and cannot. Timid young people often suffer keenly in this way in attempting to declaim at school or college. But many a great orator went through the same sort of experience, when he first attempted to speak in public and was often deeply humiliated by his blunders and failures. There is no other way, however, to become an orator or a good conversationalist than by constantly trying to express oneself efficiently and elegantly.

We all sympathize with people who try to speak but cannot, especially those who are timid and shy. They feel an awful sense of being held back, as if their thoughts were stifled. Timid young people often suffer greatly when they try to give speeches at school or college. But many great speakers had the same experience when they first tried to speak in public. Their mistakes and failures often left them deeply humiliated. Still, the only way to become a great speaker or a good conversationalist is to keep trying to express yourself effectively and gracefully.

If you find that your ideas fly from you when you attempt to express them, that you stammer and flounder about for words which you are unable to find, you may be sure that every honest effort you make, even if you fail in your attempt, will make it all the easier for you to speak well the next time. It is remarkable, if one keeps on trying, how quickly he will conquer his awkwardness and self-consciousness, and will gain ease of manner and facility of expression.

If your ideas disappear when you try to express them, you may stammer and struggle to find words. But you can be sure that every honest effort will make it easier to speak well next time, even if you fail. If you keep trying, it is remarkable how quickly you will overcome your awkwardness and self-consciousness. You will become more at ease and find it easier to express yourself.

Everywhere we see people placed at a tremendous disadvantage because they have never learned the art of putting their ideas into interesting, telling language. We see brainy men at public gatherings, when momentous questions are being discussed, sit silent, unable to tell what they know, when they are infinitely better informed than those who are making a great deal of display of oratory or smooth talk.

Everywhere, we see people at a tremendous disadvantage because they have never learned to express their ideas clearly and engagingly. At public gatherings, intelligent men sit silent while important questions are discussed. They cannot explain what they know, even though they are far better informed than those showing off their public speaking skills or smooth talk.

People with a lot of ability, who know a great deal, often appear like a set of dummies in company, while some superficial, shallow-brained person holds the attention of those present simply because he can tell what he knows in an interesting way. They are constantly humiliated and embarrassed when away from those who happen to know their real worth, because they can not carry on an intelligent conversation upon any topic. There are hundreds of these silent people at our national capital—many of them wives of husbands who have suddenly and unexpectedly come into political prominence.

People with great ability and knowledge often seem like dummies in company. Meanwhile, a superficial, shallow-minded person holds everyone’s attention simply by telling what he knows in an interesting way. The knowledgeable people are constantly humiliated and embarrassed when away from those who know their true worth. That is because they cannot carry on an intelligent conversation on any topic. There are hundreds of these silent people in our nation’s capital. Many are wives of men who have suddenly and unexpectedly risen to political prominence.

Many people—and this is especially true of scholars—seem to think that the great desideratum in life is to get as much valuable information into the head as possible. But it is just as important to know how to give out knowledge in a palatable manner as to acquire it. You may be a profound scholar, you may be well read in history and in politics, you may be wonderfully well-posted in science, literature, and art, and yet, if your knowledge is locked up within you, you will always be placed at a great disadvantage.

Many people seem to think that the main goal in life is to fill their heads with as much useful information as possible. This is especially true of scholars. But knowing how to share knowledge in an appealing way is just as important as acquiring it. You may be a deep scholar and well read in history and politics. You may know a great deal about science, literature, and art. Yet if your knowledge stays locked inside you, you will always be at a great disadvantage.

Locked-up ability may give the individual some satisfaction, but it must be exhibited, expressed in some attractive way, before the world will appreciate it or give credit for it. It does not matter how valuable the rough diamond may be, no explaining, no describing its marvels of beauty within, and its great value, would avail; nobody would appreciate it until it was ground and polished and the light let into its depths to reveal its hidden brilliancy. Conversation is to the man what the cutting of the diamond is to the stone. The grinding does not add anything to the diamond. It merely reveals its wealth.

Hidden ability may give a person some satisfaction. But the world will not appreciate or recognize it until it is shown in an appealing way. No matter how valuable a rough diamond is, explaining its value and the beauty hidden inside would do no good. Nobody would appreciate it until it was cut and polished, letting light reveal its hidden brilliance. Conversation does for a person what cutting does for a diamond. Cutting adds nothing to the diamond. It merely reveals the wealth already there.

How little parents realize the harm they are doing their children by allowing them to grow up ignorant of or indifferent to the marvelous possibilities in the art of conversation! In the majority of homes, children are allowed to mangle the English language in a most painful way.

Parents rarely realize the harm they do by letting their children grow up unaware of or indifferent to the wonderful possibilities of conversation! In most homes, children are allowed to use the English language in painfully poor ways.

Nothing else will develop the brain and character more than the constant effort to talk well, intelligently, interestingly, upon all sorts of topics. There is a splendid discipline in the constant effort to express one's thoughts in clear language and in an interesting manner. We know people who are such superb conversers that no one would ever dream that they have not had the advantages of the higher schools. Many a college graduate has been silenced and put to shame by people who have never even been to a high school, but who have cultivated the art of self-expression.

Nothing else develops the mind and character more than constantly trying to speak well, intelligently, and interestingly about all kinds of topics. The constant effort to express your thoughts clearly and interestingly is excellent discipline. We know people who are such excellent conversationalists that no one would ever guess they lacked a college education. Many college graduates have been silenced and put to shame by people who never even attended high school but have developed the art of expressing themselves.

The school and the college employ the student comparatively a few hours a day for a few years; conversation is a training in a perpetual school. Many get the best part of their education in this school.

School and college occupy students for only a few hours a day for a few years. Conversation is a school that never ends. Many people get the best part of their education through conversation.

Conversation is a great ability discoverer, a great revealer of possibilities and resources. It stimulates thought wonderfully. We think more of ourselves if we can talk well, if we can interest and hold others. The power to do so increases our self-respect, our self-confidence.

Conversation is a powerful way to discover abilities and reveal possibilities and resources. It stimulates thought wonderfully. We think more of ourselves if we can speak well and keep others interested. This ability increases our self-respect and self-confidence.

No man knows what he really possesses until he makes his best effort to express to others what is in him. Then the avenues of the mind fly open, the faculties are on the alert. Every good converser has felt a power come to him from the listener which he never felt before, and which often stimulates and inspires to fresh endeavor. The mingling of thought with thought, the contact of mind with mind, develops new powers, as the mixing of two chemicals often produces a new third substance.

No one knows what they truly possess until they do their best to express what is inside them to others. Then the mind opens up, and all its faculties become alert. Every good conversationalist has felt a new power come from the listener, often encouraging and inspiring fresh effort. The meeting of thoughts and minds develops new powers, just as mixing two chemicals often produces a new third substance.

To converse well one must listen well also—hold oneself in a receptive attitude.

To be good at conversation, you must also listen well and be receptive.

We are not only poor conversationalists, but we are poor listeners as well. We are too impatient to listen. Instead of being attentive and eager to drink in the story or the information, we have not enough respect for the talker to keep quiet. We look about impatiently, perhaps snap our watch, play a tattoo with our fingers on a chair or a table, hitch about as if we were bored and were anxious to get away, and interrupt the speaker before he reaches his conclusion. In fact, we are such an impatient people that we have no time for anything excepting to push ahead, to elbow our way through the crowd to get the position or the money we desire. Our life is feverish and unnatural. We have no time to develop charm of manner, or elegance of diction. "We are too intense for epigram or repartee. We lack time."

We are not only poor conversationalists, but poor listeners as well. We are too impatient to listen. Instead of listening eagerly to a story or information, we lack enough respect for the speaker to stay quiet. We look around impatiently, perhaps check our watch, or drum our fingers on a chair or table. We shift around as if we were bored and eager to leave. We interrupt the speaker before he reaches his conclusion. In fact, we are such an impatient people that we have time only to push ahead. We elbow our way through the crowd to get the position or money we want. Our lives are feverish and unnatural. We have no time to develop charm in our manners or elegance in our speech. "We are too intense for witty sayings or quick replies. We lack time."

Nervous impatience is a conspicuous characteristic of the American people. Everything bores us which does not bring us more business, or more money, or which does not help us to attain the position for which we are striving. Instead of enjoying our friends, we are inclined to look upon them as so many rungs in a ladder, and to value them in proportion as they furnish readers for our books, send us patients, clients, customers or show their ability to give us a boost for political position.

Nervous impatience is a noticeable trait of the American people. Anything bores us if it does not bring us more business or money, or help us reach the position we seek. Instead of enjoying our friends, we tend to see them as rungs on a ladder. We value them according to how much they help us, whether by reading our books, sending us patients, clients or customers, or helping us gain political office.

Before these days of hurry and drive, before this age of excitement, it was considered one of the greatest luxuries possible to be a listener in a group surrounding an intelligent talker. It was better than most modern lectures, than anything one could find in a book; for there was a touch of personality, a charm of style, a magnetism which held, a superb personality which fascinated. For the hungry soul, yearning for an education, to drink in knowledge from those wise lips was to be fed with a royal feast indeed.

Before this busy, driven age of excitement, listening to an intelligent speaker in a group was considered a great luxury. It was better than most modern lectures or anything one could find in a book. For the speaker brought a personal touch, a charming style, a captivating magnetism, and a fascinating personality. For a hungry soul eager to learn, drinking in knowledge from those wise lips was truly a royal feast.

But to-day everything is "touch and go." We have no time to stop on the street and give a decent salutation. It is: "How do?" or "Morning," accompanied by a sharp nod of the head, instead of by a graceful bow. We have no time for the graces and the charms. Everything must give way to the material.

But today everything is rushed. We have no time to stop on the street and offer a decent greeting. Instead of a graceful bow, we say "How do?" or "Morning" with a sharp nod. We have no time for grace and charm. Everything must give way to material concerns.

We have no time for the development of a fine manner; the charm of the days of chivalry and leisure has almost vanished from our civilization. A new type of individual has sprung up. We work like Trojans during the day, and then rush to a theater or other place of amusement in the evening. We have no time to make our own amusement or to develop the faculty of humor and fun-making as people used to do. We pay people for doing that while we sit and laugh. We are like some college boys, who depend upon tutors to carry them through their examinations—they expect to buy their education ready-made.

We have no time to develop refined manners. The charm of the days of chivalry and leisure has almost vanished from our civilization. A new type of person has emerged. We work extremely hard during the day, then rush to a theater or some other entertainment in the evening. We have no time to entertain ourselves or develop our sense of humor and ability to have fun as people once did. We pay others to entertain us while we sit and laugh. We are like some college students who rely on tutors to get them through exams. They expect to buy their education ready-made.

Life is becoming so artificial, so forced, so diverse from naturalness, we drive our human engines at such a fearful speed, that our finer life is crushed out. Spontaneity and humor, and the possibility of a fine culture and a superb charm of personality in us are almost impossible and extremely rare.

Life is becoming so artificial, so forced, and so far removed from nature. We drive our human engines at such a frightening speed that the finer parts of life are crushed out. As a result, spontaneity and humor are extremely rare. So are refined culture and a wonderfully charming personality. These qualities have become almost impossible to develop.

One cause for our conversational decline is a lack of sympathy. We are too selfish, too busily engaged in our own welfare, and wrapped up in our own little world, too intent upon our own self-promotion to be interested in others. No one can make a good conversationalist who is not sympathetic. You must be able to enter into another's life, to live it with the other person, to be a good listener or a good talker.

One reason our conversation has declined is a lack of sympathy. We are too selfish and too busy looking after ourselves. We are wrapped up in our own little worlds and too focused on promoting ourselves to take an interest in others. No one can be a good conversationalist without sympathy. To be a good listener or speaker, you must be able to enter into another person's life and live it with them.

Walter Besant used to tell of a clever woman who had a great reputation as a conversationalist, though she talked very little. She had such a cordial, sympathetic manner that she helped the timid and the shy to say their best things, and made them feel at home. She dissipated their fears, and they could say things to her which they could not say to anyone else. People thought her an interesting conversationalist because she had this ability to call out the best in others.

Walter Besant used to tell of a clever woman known as a great conversationalist, though she talked very little. She was so warm and understanding that she helped timid and shy people say their best things. She made them feel at home and put their fears to rest. They could tell her things they could not tell anyone else. People thought she was an interesting conversationalist because she could bring out the best in others.

If you would make yourself agreeable you must be able to enter into the life of the people you are conversing with, and you must touch them along the lines of their interest. No matter how much you may know about a subject, if it does not happen to interest those to whom you are talking your efforts will be largely lost.

If you want to be pleasant company, you must understand the lives of the people you talk with. You must also speak to their interests. No matter how much you know about a subject, your efforts will be largely wasted if your listeners aren't interested.

It is pitiable, sometimes, to see men standing around at the average reception or club gathering, dumb, almost helpless, and powerless to enter heartily into the conversation because they are in a subjective mood. They are thinking, thinking, thinking business, business, business; thinking how they can get on a little faster—get more business, more clients, more patients, or more readers for their books—or a better house to live in; how they can make more show. They do not enter heartily into the lives of others, or abandon themselves to the occasion enough to make good talkers. They are cold and reserved, distant, because their minds are somewhere else, their affections on themselves and their own affairs. There are only two things that interest them; business and their own little world. If you talk about these things, they are interested at once; but they do not care a snap about your affairs, how you get on, or what your ambition is, or how they can help you. Our conversation will never reach a high standard while we live in such a feverish, selfish, and unsympathetic state.

It is sometimes sad to see men standing around at a typical reception or club gathering, silent and almost helpless. They cannot join in the conversation wholeheartedly because they are absorbed in their own thoughts. They are thinking, thinking, thinking about business, business, business. They wonder how they can get ahead a little faster, gain more business, more clients, more patients, or more readers for their books. They think about getting a better house to live in or making a bigger show. They do not take a real interest in other people's lives or give themselves over to the occasion enough to become good conversationalists. They are cold, reserved, and distant because their minds are elsewhere. Their interests lie in themselves and their own affairs. Only two things interest them: business and their own little world. If you talk about these things, they are interested at once. But they do not care at all about your affairs, how you are getting on, what your ambitions are, or how they can help you. Our conversations will never reach a high standard while we live in such a feverish, selfish, and unsympathetic state.

Great conversationalists have always been very tactful—interesting without offending. It does not do to stab people if you would interest them, nor to drag out their family skeletons. Some people have the peculiar quality of touching the best that is in us; others stir up the bad. Every time they come into our presence they irritate us. Others allay all that is disagreeable. They never touch our sensitive spots, and they call out all that is spontaneous and sweet and beautiful.

Great conversationalists have always been tactful, interesting people without offending them. If you want to interest people, you should not wound them or expose their family secrets. Some people have a special ability to bring out the best in us. Others stir up the bad. Every time they are around us, they irritate us. Still others calm everything disagreeable in us. They never touch on our sensitive spots, and they bring out all that is spontaneous, sweet, and beautiful.

Lincoln was master of the art of making himself interesting to everybody he met. He put people at ease with his stories and jokes, and made them feel so completely at home in his presence that they opened up their mental treasures to him without reserve. Strangers were always glad to talk with him because he was so cordial and quaint, and always gave more than he got.

Lincoln was a master at making himself interesting to everyone he met. He put people at ease with his stories and jokes. He made them feel so at home that they freely shared their thoughts and knowledge with him. Strangers were always glad to talk with him because he was so warm and charmingly unusual. He always gave more than he received.

A sense of humor such as Lincoln had is, of course, a great addition to one's conversational power. But not everyone can be funny; and, if you lack the sense of humor, you will make yourself ludicrous by attempting to be funny.

A sense of humor like Lincoln’s is, of course, a great asset in conversation. But not everyone can be funny. If you lack a sense of humor, you will make yourself look ridiculous by trying to be funny.

A good conversationalist, however, is not too serious. He does not deal too much with facts, no matter how important. Facts, statistics, weary. Vivacity is absolutely necessary. Heavy conversation bores; too light, disgusts.

A good conversationalist, however, is not too serious. He does not dwell on facts, no matter how important they are. Facts and statistics are tiresome. Liveliness is absolutely necessary. Heavy conversation bores people. Conversation that is too light disgusts them.

Therefore, to be a good conversationalist you must be spontaneous, buoyant, natural, sympathetic, and must show a spirit of good will. You must feel a spirit of helpfulness, and must enter heart and soul into things which interest others. You must get the attention of people and hold it by interesting them, and you can only interest them by a warm sympathy—a real friendly sympathy. If you are cold, distant, and unsympathetic you can not hold their attention.

Therefore, to be a good conversationalist, you must be spontaneous, cheerful, natural, and sympathetic. You must also show goodwill. You must want to help and give your full attention to what interests others. You must get people’s attention and hold it by interesting them. And you can only interest them through warm, genuine, friendly sympathy. If you are cold, distant, and unsympathetic, you cannot hold their attention.

You must be broad, tolerant. A narrow stingy soul never talks well. A man who is always violating your sense of taste, of justice, and of fairness, never interests you. You lock tight all the approaches to your inner self, every avenue is closed to him. Your magnetism and your helpfulness are thus cut off, and the conversation is perfunctory, mechanical, and without life or feeling.

You must be open-minded and tolerant. A narrow-minded, stingy person never speaks well. A man who constantly offends your sense of taste, justice, and fairness never interests you. You shut him out completely, closing every path to your inner self. Your personal magnetism and willingness to help are cut off. As a result, the conversation is mechanical and perfunctory, without life or feeling.

You must bring your listener close to you, must open your heart wide, and exhibit a broad free nature, and an open mind. You must be responsive, so that he will throw wide open every avenue of his nature and give you free access to his heart of hearts.

You must draw your listener close. Open your heart wide, and show a generous, open nature and an open mind. Be responsive, so that he will open every part of his nature to you and give you free access to his innermost heart.

If a man is a success anywhere, it ought to be in his personality, in his power to express himself in strong, effective, interesting language. He should not be obliged to give a stranger an inventory of his possessions in order to show that he has achieved something. A greater wealth should flow from his lips, and express itself in his manner.

If a man succeeds anywhere, it should be in his personality and his ability to express himself in strong, effective, interesting language. He should not have to list his possessions to a stranger to show that he has achieved something. A greater wealth should flow from his lips and show itself in his manner.

No amount of natural ability or education or good clothes, no amount of money, will make you appear well if you use poor English.

If you use poor English, no amount of natural ability, education, good clothes, or money will make you look good.