Self-Consciousness and Timidity: Enemies of Success

Timid, shy people are morbidly self-conscious; they think too much about themselves. Their thoughts are always turned inward; they are always analyzing, dissecting themselves, wondering how they appear and what people think of them. If these people could only forget themselves and think of others, they would be surprised to see what freedom, ease, and grace they would gain; what success in life they would achieve.

Timid, shy people are excessively self-conscious. They think too much about themselves. Their thoughts are always turned inward. They are always analyzing themselves, wondering how they appear and what others think of them. If they could only forget themselves and think of others, they would be surprised by the freedom, ease, and grace they would gain. They would also be surprised by the success they would achieve in life.

Timidity, shyness, and self-consciousness belong to the same family. We usually find all where we find any one of these qualities, and they are all enemies of peace of mind, happiness, and achievement. No one has ever done a great thing while his mind was centered upon himself. We must lose ourselves before we can find ourselves. Self analysis is valuable only to learn our strength; fatal, if we dwell upon our weaknesses.

Timidity, shyness, and self-consciousness are closely related. When we find one of these qualities, we usually find all three. They are all enemies of peace of mind, happiness, and achievement. No one has ever done a great thing while focused on themselves. We must lose ourselves before we can find ourselves. Examining ourselves is valuable only for learning our strengths. It is fatal if we dwell on our weaknesses.

Thousands of young people are held back from undertaking what they long to do, and are kept from trying to make real their great life-dreams, because they are afraid to jostle with the world. They shrink from exposing their sore spots and sensitive points, which smart from the lightest touch. Their super-sensitiveness makes cowards of them.

Thousands of young people are afraid to face the rough and tumble of the world. This fear holds them back from doing what they long to do and trying to make their great dreams come true. They shrink from exposing their sore spots and sensitive points, which hurt at the slightest touch. Their oversensitivity makes cowards of them.

Over-sensitiveness, whether in man or woman, is really an exaggerated form of self-consciousness. It is far removed from conceit or self-esteem, yet it causes one's personality to overshadow everything else. A sensitive person feels that, whatever he does, wherever he goes, or whatever he says, he is the center of observation. He imagines that people are criticizing his movements, making fun at his expense, or analyzing his character, when they are probably not thinking of him at all. He does not realize that other people are too busy and too much interested in themselves and other things to devote to him any of their time beyond what is absolutely necessary. When he thinks they are aiming remarks at him, putting slights upon him, or trying to hold him up to the ridicule of others, they may not be even conscious of his presence.

Oversensitivity, in both men and women, is really an exaggerated form of self-consciousness. It is very different from conceit or self-esteem, yet it causes a person's own concerns to overshadow everything else. Sensitive people feel that everyone is watching them, whatever they do, wherever they go, and whatever they say. They imagine that people are criticizing their movements, making fun of them, or analyzing their character. Yet those people are probably not thinking of them at all. Sensitive people do not realize that others are too busy and too interested in themselves and other things. They have no time to spend on them beyond what is absolutely necessary. Sensitive people may think others are directing remarks at them, slighting them, or trying to make them look ridiculous. Yet those people may not even be aware that they are there.

Morbid sensitiveness requires heroic treatment. A sufferer who wishes to overcome it must take himself in hand as determinedly as he would if he wished to get control of a quick temper, or to rid himself of a habit of lying, or stealing, or drinking, or any other defect which prevented his being a whole man.

Excessive sensitivity requires drastic treatment. Anyone who wants to overcome it must take control of himself with determination. He must be just as determined as he would be to control a quick temper or break a habit of lying, stealing, or drinking. The same applies to any other flaw that keeps him from being a whole man.

"What shall I do to get rid of it?" asks a victim. Think less of yourself and more of others. Mingle freely with people. Become interested in things outside of yourself. Do not brood over what is said to you, or analyze every simple remark until you magnify it into something of the greatest importance. Do not have such a low and unjust estimate of people as to think they are bent on nothing but hurting the feelings of others, and depreciating and making light of them on every possible occasion. A man who appreciates himself at his true value, and who gives his neighbors credit for being at least as good as he is, cannot be a victim of over-sensitiveness.

"What can I do to get rid of it?" a sufferer asks. Think less about yourself and more about others. Spend time freely with people. Take an interest in things outside yourself. Do not dwell on what people say to you. Do not analyze every simple remark until you make it seem enormously important. Do not think so poorly or unfairly of people. Do not assume they are always looking for opportunities to hurt others, put them down, and make light of them. A man who recognizes his own true worth cannot be overly sensitive if he also sees his neighbors as at least as good as himself.

One of the best schools for a sensitive boy is a large business house in which he will be thrown among strangers who will not handle him with gloves. In such an environment he will soon learn that everyone has all he can do to attend to his own business. He will realize that he must be a man and give and take with the others, or get out. He will be ashamed to play "cry baby" every time he feels hurt, but will make up his mind to grin and bear it. Working in competition with other people, and seeing that exactly the same treatment is given to those above him as to himself, takes the nonsense out of him. He begins to see that the world is too busy to bother itself especially about him, and that, even when people look at him, they are not usually thinking of him.

One of the best schools for a sensitive boy is a large business where strangers will not treat him gently. There he will soon learn that everyone has enough to do minding their own business. He will realize that he must act like a man and learn to give and take with others, or leave. He will be ashamed to play "cry baby" every time his feelings are hurt. Instead, he will decide to grin and bear it. He will compete with others and see that those above him are treated exactly as he is. That will knock the nonsense out of him. He will begin to see that the world is too busy to pay special attention to him. Even when people look at him, they are not usually thinking about him.

A college course is of inestimable value to a boy or girl of over-refined sensibilities. Oftentimes, when boys enter college as freshmen, they are so touchy that their sense of honor is constantly being hurt and their pride stung by the unconscious thrusts of classmates and companions. But after they have been in college a term, and have been knocked about and handled in a rough but good-humored manner by youths of their own age, they realize that it would be the most foolish thing in the world to betray resentment. If one shows that he is hurt, he knows that he will be called the class booby, and teased unmercifully, so he is simply forced to drop his foolish sensitiveness.

A college education is enormously valuable to a boy or girl who is overly sensitive. Boys entering college as freshmen are often so touchy that their classmates unintentionally hurt their sense of honor and wound their pride. But after a term in college, they have been knocked about and treated roughly but good-humoredly by boys their own age. They realize it would be foolish to show resentment. If a boy shows he is hurt, he knows he will be called the class fool and teased without mercy. So he is forced to let go of his foolish sensitivity.

Thousands of people are out of positions, and cannot keep places when they get them, because of this weakness. Many a good business man has been kept back, or even ruined, by his quickness to take offense, or to resent a fancied slight. There is many a clergyman, well educated and able, who is so sensitive that he can not keep a pastorate long. From his distorted viewpoint some brother or sister in the church is always hurting him, saying and thinking unkind things, or throwing out hints and suggestions calculated to injure him in the eyes of the congregation.

Thousands of people are unemployed and cannot keep jobs when they find them because of this weakness. Many a good businessperson has been held back or even ruined by being quick to take offense or resent an imagined slight. Many well educated and capable ministers are so sensitive that they cannot lead a congregation for long. From a minister’s distorted point of view, someone in the church is always hurting him. He believes they say and think unkind things or drop hints meant to damage his standing with the congregation.

Many schoolteachers are great sufferers from over-sensitiveness. Remarks of parents, or school committees, or little bits of gossip which are reported to them make them feel as if people were sticking pins in them, metaphorically speaking, all the time. Writers, authors, and other people with artistic temperaments, are usually very sensitive. I have in mind a very strong, vigorous editorial writer who is so prone to take offense that he can not hold a position either on a magazine or a daily paper. He is cut to the very quick by the slightest criticism, and regards every suggestion for the improvement of his work as a personal affront. He always carries about an injured air, a feeling that he has been imposed upon, which greatly detracts from an otherwise agreeable personality.

Many schoolteachers suffer greatly from being too sensitive. Remarks from parents or school committees, or bits of gossip they hear, make them feel as if people were constantly sticking pins in them. Writers, authors, and other people with artistic temperaments are usually very sensitive. I know a strong, energetic editorial writer who takes offense so easily that he cannot hold a job at a magazine or newspaper. The slightest criticism wounds him deeply. He sees every suggestion for improving his work as a personal insult. He always acts as if he has been wronged. This greatly detracts from an otherwise pleasant personality.

The great majority of people, no matter how rough in manner or bearing, are kind-hearted, and would much rather help than hinder a fellowbeing, but they have all they can do to attend to their own affairs, and have no time to spend in minutely analyzing the nature and feeling of those whom they meet in the course of their daily business. In the busy world of affairs, it is give and take, touch and go, and those who expect to get on must rid themselves of all morbid sensitiveness. If they do not, they doom themselves to unhappiness and failure.

Most people are kind-hearted, no matter how rough their manner or appearance. They would much rather help someone than hold them back. But they are busy with their own affairs. They have no time to closely examine the character and feelings of everyone they meet in daily business. In the busy world of business, people must give and take and act quickly. Anyone who expects to get ahead must overcome excessive sensitivity. If they do not, they doom themselves to unhappiness and failure.

Self-consciousness is a foe to greatness in every line of endeavor. No one ever does a really great thing until he feels that he is a part of something greater than himself, until he surrenders to that greater principle.

Self-consciousness stands in the way of greatness in every field. No one ever does anything truly great until they feel part of something greater than themselves and surrender to that greater principle.

Some of our best writers never found themselves, never touched their power, until they forgot their rules for construction, their grammar, their rhetorical arrangement, by losing themselves in their subject. Then they found their style.

Some of our best writers never discovered themselves or their power until they became absorbed in their subject. They forgot the rules of sentence structure, grammar, and rhetoric. Then they found their style.

It is when a writer is so completely carried away with his subject that he cannot help writing, that he writes naturally. He shows what his real style is.

A writer writes naturally when he is so absorbed in his subject that he cannot help writing. That is when he shows his true style.

No orator has ever electrified an audience while he was thinking of his style or was conscious of his rhetoric, or trying to apply the conventional rules of oratory. It is when the orator's soul is on fire with his theme, and he forgets his audience, forgets everything but his subject, that he really does a great thing.

No speaker has ever electrified an audience while thinking about his style, his rhetoric, or the usual rules of public speaking. A speaker does something truly great when his passion for his subject is on fire. Then he forgets his audience and everything else but his subject.

No painter ever did a great masterpiece when trying to keep all the rules of his profession, the laws of drawing, of perspective, the science of color, in his mind. Everything must be swallowed up in his zeal, fused in the fire of his genius,—then, and then only, can he really create.

No painter ever created a great masterpiece while trying to keep all the rules of the profession in mind: the laws of drawing and perspective and the science of color. All of these must be absorbed in the painter's passion and fused in the fire of genius. Only then can a painter truly create.

No singer ever captivated her audience until she forgot herself, until she was lost in her song.

No singer ever captivated her audience until she forgot herself and became lost in her song.

Could anything be more foolish and short-sighted than to allow a morbid sensitiveness to interfere with one's advancement in life?

Could anything be more foolish and short-sighted than letting excessive sensitivity hold you back in life?

I know a young lady with a superb mind and a fine personality, capable of filling a superior position, who has been kept in a very ordinary situation for years simply because of her morbid sensitiveness.

I know a young woman with a brilliant mind and a wonderful personality. She is capable of holding a better position. Yet she has remained in a very ordinary job for years simply because of her excessive sensitivity.

She takes it for granted that if any criticism is made in the department where she works, it is intended for her, and she "flies off the handle" over every little remark that she can possibly twist into a reflection upon herself.

She assumes that any criticism in her department is aimed at her. She "flies off the handle" at every little remark she can possibly take as a criticism of herself.

The result is that she makes it so unpleasant for her employers that they do not promote her. And she can not understand why she does not get on faster.

As a result, she makes things so unpleasant for her employers that they do not promote her. Yet she cannot understand why she does not advance faster.

No one wishes to employ anyone who is so sensitive that he is obliged to be on his guard every moment lest he wound him or touch a sore spot. It makes an employer very uncomfortable to feel that those about him are carrying around an injured air a large part of the time, so that he never quite knows whether they are in sympathy with him or not. If anything has gone wrong in his business and he feels vexed, he knows that he is liable to give offense to these people without ever intending it.

No one wants to employ someone so sensitive that the employer must constantly guard against hurting their feelings. An employer feels uncomfortable when people around him often seem offended. He never quite knows whether they are on his side. If something goes wrong in his business and he feels upset, he knows he might offend these people without intending to.

A man wants to feel that his employees understand him, and that they take into consideration the thousand and one little vexations and happenings which are extremely trying, and that if he does not happen to approach them with a smiling face, with consideration and friendliness in his words or commands, they will not take offense. They will think of his troubles, not their own, if they are wise: they will forget self, and contribute their zeal to the greater good.

A man wants to feel that his employees understand him and take his countless small frustrations and trying experiences into account. If he does not greet them with a smile or speak to them with consideration and friendliness, he wants them not to take offense. If they are wise, they will think of his troubles, not their own. They will put themselves aside and contribute their enthusiasm to the greater good.