What Happened on Planet Earth

After resting for some time they ate two mountains for lunch, which their crew fixed up pretty nicely. Then they decided to get to know the small country they were in. They went first from north to south. The usual stride of the Sirian and his crew was around 30,000 feet. The dwarf from Saturn, who clocked in at no more than a thousand fathoms, trailed behind, breathing heavily. He had to make twelve steps each time the other took a stride; imagine (if it is alright to make such a comparison) a very small lapdog following a captain of the guards of the Prussian king.

After resting for a while, they ate two mountains for lunch, prepared quite nicely by their crew. Then they decided to explore the small country they were in. They first traveled from north to south. The Sirian and his crew usually covered about 30,000 feet with each stride. The dwarf from Saturn, who stood no more than a thousand fathoms tall, followed behind, breathing heavily. He had to take twelve steps for every stride the Sirian took. Imagine a tiny lapdog following a captain of the Prussian king’s guards, if such a comparison is allowed.

Since our strangers moved fairly rapidly, they circumnavigated the globe in 36 hours. The sun, in truth, or rather the Earth, makes a similar voyage in a day; but you have to imagine that the going is much easier when one turns on one's axis instead of walking on one's feet. So there they were, back where they started, after having seen the nearly imperceptible pond we call the Mediterranean, and the other little pool that, under the name Ocean, encircles the molehill. The dwarf never got in over his knees, and the other hardly wet his heels. On their way they did all they could to see whether the planet was inhabited or not. They crouched, laid down, felt around everywhere; but their eyes and their hands were not proportionate to the little beings that crawl here, they could not feel in the least any sensation that might lead them to suspect that we and our associates, the other inhabitants of this planet, have the honor of existing.

Since our strangers moved fairly quickly, they traveled around the globe in 36 hours. The sun, or rather the Earth, makes a similar trip in a day. But you must imagine how much easier it is to spin on your axis than to walk on your feet. So there they were, back where they started. They had seen the barely visible pond we call the Mediterranean. They had also seen the other little pool called Ocean, which surrounds the molehill. The dwarf never went in above his knees, and the other hardly got his heels wet. Along the way, they did all they could to find out whether the planet was inhabited. They crouched, lay down, and felt around everywhere. But their eyes and hands were not suited to the size of the little beings crawling here. They could not sense anything at all that might make them suspect we have the honor of existing. Nor could they detect our fellow inhabitants of this planet, who share that honor.

The dwarf, who was a bit hasty sometimes, decided straightaway that the planet was uninhabited. His first reason was that he had not seen anyone. Micromegas politely indicated that this logic was rather flawed: "For," said he, "you do not see with your little eyes certain stars of the 50th magnitude that I can perceive very distinctly. Do you conclude that these stars do not exist?"

The dwarf was sometimes a little hasty, and he immediately decided that the planet was uninhabited. His first reason was that he had not seen anyone. Micromegas politely pointed out that this reasoning was rather flawed: "For example," he said, "your little eyes cannot see certain stars of the 50th magnitude. I can see those stars very clearly. Do you conclude that those stars do not exist?"

"But," said the dwarf, "I felt around a lot."

"But," said the dwarf, "I felt around a lot."

"But," answered the other, "you have pretty weak senses."

"But," the other replied, "your senses are pretty weak."

"But," replied the dwarf, "this planet is poorly constructed. It is so irregular and has such a ridiculous shape! Everything here seems to be in chaos: you see these little rivulets, none of which run in a straight line, these pools of water that are neither round, nor square, nor oval, nor regular by any measure; all these little pointy specks scattered across the earth that grate on my feet? (This was in reference to mountains.) Look at its shape again, how it is flat at the poles, how it clumsily revolves around the sun in a way that necessarily eliminates the climates of the poles? To tell the truth, what really makes me think it is uninhabited is that it seems that no one of good sense would want to stay."

"But," replied the dwarf, "this planet is badly made. It is so uneven, and its shape is ridiculous! Everything here seems to be in chaos. Look at these little streams, none of them running straight. Look at these pools of water, neither round, square, oval, nor regular in any way. And all these little pointed specks scattered across the earth that scrape my feet?" (He was referring to mountains.) "Look again at the planet's shape, flattened at the poles. See how clumsily it moves around the sun, in a way that necessarily rules out climates at the poles? To tell the truth, what really makes me think the planet is uninhabited is this: it seems no one with any sense would want to stay."

"Well," said Micromegas, "maybe the inhabitants of this planet are not of good sense! But in the end it looks like this may be for a reason. Everything appears irregular to you here, you say, because everything on Saturn and Jupiter is drawn in straight lines. This might be the¹² reason that you are a bit puzzled here. Have I not told you that I have continually noticed variety in my travels?"

"Well," said Micromegas, "maybe the inhabitants of this planet lack good sense! But in the end, it seems there may be a reason for that. You say everything here looks irregular to you because everything on Saturn and Jupiter follows straight lines. That difference might be the¹² reason you feel a bit puzzled here. Haven't I told you that I've constantly noticed variety during my travels?"

The Saturnian responded to all these points. The dispute might never have finished if it were not for Micromegas who, getting worked up, had the good luck to break the thread of his diamond necklace. The diamonds fell; they were pretty little carats of fairly irregular size, of which the largest weighed four hundred pounds and the smallest fifty. The dwarf recaptured some of them; bending down for a better look, he perceived that these diamonds were cut with the help of an excellent microscope. So he took out a small microscope of 160 feet in diameter and put it up to his eye; and Micromegas took up one of 2,005 feet in diameter. They were excellent; but neither one of them could see anything right away and had to adjust them. Finally the Saturnian saw something elusive that moved in the shallow waters of the Baltic sea; it was a whale. He carefully picked it up with his little finger and, resting it on the nail of his thumb, showed it to the Sirian, who began laughing for a second time at the ludicrously small scale of the things on our planet. The Saturnian, persuaded that our world was inhabited, figured very quickly that it was inhabited only by whales; and as he was very good at reasoning, he was determined to infer the origin and evolution of such a small atom; whether it had ideas, a will, liberty. Micromegas was confused. He examined the animal very patiently and found no reason to believe that a soul was lodged in it. The two voyagers were therefore inclined to believe that there is no spirit in our home, when with the help of the microscope they perceived something as large as a whale floating on the Baltic Sea. We know that a flock of philosophers was at this time returning from the Arctic Circle, where they had made some observations, which no one had dared make up to then. The gazettes claimed that their vessel ran aground on the coast of Bothnia, and that they were having a lot of difficulty setting things straight; but the world never shows its cards. I am going to tell how it really happened, artlessly and without bias; which is no small thing for an historian.

The Saturnian answered all these points. The argument might never have ended if Micromegas had not grown excited and luckily broken the string of his diamond necklace. The diamonds fell. They were pretty little gems of rather uneven size. The largest weighed four hundred pounds, and the smallest fifty. The dwarf recovered some of them. Bending down for a closer look, he saw that these cut diamonds could serve as an excellent microscope. So he took out a small microscope, 160 feet in diameter, and held it to his eye. Micromegas picked up one 2,005 feet in diameter. Both microscopes were excellent. But neither traveler could see anything at first, and both had to adjust their instruments. Finally, the Saturnian spotted something hard to make out, moving in the shallow waters of the Baltic sea. It was a whale. He carefully picked up the whale with his little finger and rested it on his thumbnail. Then he showed it to the Sirian. For the second time, Micromegas laughed at the ridiculously small scale of everything on our planet. Now convinced that our world was inhabited, the Saturnian quickly concluded that only whales lived here. And since he was so good at reasoning, he was determined to deduce this tiny creature's origin and development. He also wanted to determine whether it had ideas, a will, and freedom. Micromegas was puzzled. He examined the animal very patiently and found no reason to believe it had a soul. The two travelers were therefore inclined to believe that our world contained no thinking beings. But then, through the microscope, they spotted something as large as a whale floating on the Baltic Sea. We know that a flock of philosophers was then returning from the Arctic Circle. There, they had made observations that no one had dared attempt before. The newspapers claimed that their ship had run aground on the coast of Bothnia. According to those reports, the philosophers were having great difficulty putting things right. But the world never shows its cards. I will tell you what really happened, simply and without bias. That is no small achievement for a historian.