Book 3, Chapter 13

Once when some one was in a fury of indignation because he had bidden a passer-by good-day and the salutation was not returned, Socrates said: "It is enough to make one laugh! If you met a man in a wretched condition of body, you would not fall into a rage; but because you stumble upon a poor soul somewhat boorishly disposed, you feel annoyed."

Once, a man was furious because he had greeted a passerby who did not greet him back. Socrates said: "It is laughable! If you met a man in poor physical health, you would not get angry. But when you encounter a poor soul with somewhat rude manners, you get annoyed."

To the remark of another who complained that he did not take his food with pleasure, he said: "Acumenus ¹ has a good prescription for that." And when the other asked: "And what may that be?" "To stop eating," he said. "On the score of pleasure, economy, and health, total abstinence has much in its favour." ²

Another man complained that he did not enjoy his food. He said: "Acumenus ¹ has a good prescription for that." The man asked: "What is it?" "Stop eating," he said. "Not eating at all has much to recommend it for pleasure, economy, and health." ²

And when some one else lamented that "the drinking-water in his house was hot," he replied: "Then when you want a warm bath you will not have to wait."

When someone else complained that "the drinking water in his house was hot," he replied: "Then when you want a warm bath, you won't have to wait."

The Other. But for bathing purposes it is cold.

The Other. But it is cold for bathing.

Soc. Do you find that your domestics seem to mind drinking it or washing in it?

Soc. Do your servants seem to mind drinking it or washing in it?

The Other. Quite the reverse; it is a constant marvel to me how contentedly they use it for either purpose.

The Other. Quite the opposite. I am always amazed at how contentedly they use it for either purpose.

Soc. Which is hotter to the taste—the water in your house or the hot spring in the temple of Asclepius? ³

Soc. Which tastes hotter, the water in your house or the water from the hot spring in the temple of Asclepius? ³

The Other. The water in the temple of Asclepius.

The other person: The water in the temple of Asclepius.

Soc. And which is colder for bathing—yours or the cold spring in the cave of Amphiaraus? ⁴

Soc. And which is colder to bathe in, yours or the cold spring in the cave of Amphiaraus? ⁴

The Other. The water in the cave of Amphiaraus.

The other person: The water in the cave of Amphiaraus.

Soc. Then please to observe: if you do not take care, they will set you down as harder to please than a domestic servant or an invalid. ⁵

Soc. Then please note: if you are not careful, they will think you are harder to please than a servant or a sick person. ⁵

A man had administered a severe whipping to the slave in attendance on him, and when Socrates asked: "Why he was so wroth with his own serving-man?" excused himself on the ground that "the fellow was a lazy, gourmandising, good-for-nothing dolt—fonder of money than of work." To which Socrates: "Did it ever strike you to consider which of the two in that case the more deserves a whipping—the master or the man?"

A man had severely whipped the slave who served him. Socrates asked, "Why are you so angry with your servant?" The man excused himself by saying, "The fellow is a lazy, greedy, good-for-nothing fool, who likes money more than work." Socrates replied, "Have you ever stopped to consider who deserves a whipping more in that case, the master or the servant?"

When some one was apprehending the journey to Olympia, "Why are you afraid of the long distance?" he asked. "Here at home you spend nearly all your day in taking walks. ⁶ Well, on your road to Olympia you will take a walk and breakfast, and then you will take another walk and dine, and go to bed. Do you not see, if you take and tack together five or six days' length of walks, and stretch them out in one long line, it will soon reach from Athens to Olympia? I would recommend you, however, to set off a day too soon rather than a day too late. To be forced to lengthen the day's journey beyond a reasonable amount may well be a nuisance; but to take one day's journey beyond what is necessary is pure relaxation. Make haste to start, I say, and not while on the road." ⁷

When someone was worried about the journey to Olympia, he asked, "Why are you afraid of the distance? Here at home, you spend nearly all day walking. ⁶ On the way to Olympia, you will walk and have breakfast. Then you will walk again, have dinner, and go to bed. If you joined five or six days' worth of walks in one long line, wouldn't they reach from Athens to Olympia? But I recommend leaving a day too early rather than a day too late. Having to travel farther in a day than is reasonable may be a nuisance. But spending an extra day on the journey is pure relaxation. Hurry to set off, I say, not while you are on the road." ⁷

When some one else remarked "he was utterly prostrated after a long journey," Socrates asked him: "Had he had any baggage to carry?"

Someone else remarked that "he was completely exhausted after a long journey." Socrates asked him: "Did he have any baggage to carry?"

"Not I," replied the complainer; "only my cloak."

"Not me," the complainer replied. "Only my cloak."

Soc. Were you travelling alone, or was your man-servant with you?

Soc. Were you traveling alone, or was your servant with you?

He. Yes, I had my man.

He. Yes, I had my man.

Soc. Empty-handed, or had he something to carry?

Soc. Was he empty-handed, or did he have something to carry?

He. Of course; carrying my rugs and other baggage.

He. Of course, carrying my rugs and other luggage.

Soc. And how did he come off on the journey?

Soc. And how did he fare on the journey?

He. Better than I did myself, I take it.

He. Better than I did myself, I suppose.

Soc. Well, but now suppose you had had to carry his baggage, what would your condition have been like?

Soc. Well, but suppose you had had to carry his baggage. What condition would you have been in?

He. Sorry enough, I can tell you; or rather, I could not have carried it at all.

He. Badly enough, I can tell you. In fact, I couldn't have carried it at all.

Soc. What a confession! Fancy being capable of so much less toil than a poor slave boy! Does that sound like the perfection of athletic training?

Soc. What an admission! Imagine being able to do so much less work than a poor slave boy! Does that sound like perfect athletic training?