I. Of my grandfather Verus I have learned to be gentle and meek, and to refrain from all anger and passion. From the fame and memory of him that begot me I have learned both shamefastness and manlike behaviour. Of my mother I have learned to be religious, and bountiful; and to forbear, not only to do, but to intend any evil; to content myself with a spare diet, and to fly all such excess as is incidental to great wealth. Of my great-grandfather, both to frequent public schools and auditories, and to get me good and able teachers at home; and that I ought not to think much, if upon such occasions, I were at excessive charges.
1. From my grandfather Verus I learned to be gentle and mild, and to refrain from all anger and passion. From the reputation and memory of my father I learned both modesty and manly conduct. From my mother I learned to be devout and generous. She taught me to refrain not only from doing evil, but even from intending it. She taught me to be content with a plain diet, and to shun all the excess that comes with great wealth. From my great-grandfather I learned to attend public schools and lectures, and to get good and able teachers at home. I also learned that I should not begrudge it if, for such things, I had to spend heavily.
II. Of him that brought me up, not to be fondly addicted to either of the two great factions of the coursers in the circus, called Prasini, and Veneti: nor in the amphitheatre partially to favour any of the gladiators, or fencers, as either the Parmularii, or the Secutores. Moreover, to endure labour; nor to need many things; when I have anything to do, to do it myself rather than by others; not to meddle with many businesses; and not easily to admit of any slander.
2. From my caregiver, I learned not to be overly passionate about the two major racing teams in the circus, the Greens and the Blues. Nor was I to take sides in the amphitheater, favoring neither the small-shield fighters nor the pursuit fighters. I was taught to work hard, be self-reliant, and live simply. When a task needed doing, I learned to handle it myself instead of delegating. I was encouraged to avoid overcommitting and to be skeptical of gossip.
III. Of Diognetus, not to busy myself about vain things, and not easily to believe those things, which are commonly spoken, by such as take upon them to work wonders, and by sorcerers, or prestidigitators, and impostors; concerning the power of charms, and their driving out of demons, or evil spirits; and the like. Not to keep quails for the game; nor to be mad after such things. Not to be offended with other men's liberty of speech, and to apply myself unto philosophy. Him also I must thank, that ever I heard first Bacchius, then Tandasis and Marcianus, and that I did write dialogues in my youth; and that I took liking to the philosophers' little couch and skins, and such other things, which by the Grecian discipline are proper to those who profess philosophy.
3. From Diognetus, I learned not to waste time on trivial matters or easily believe claims made by supposed miracle workers, sorcerers, or tricksters about charms and exorcising demons. I also learned not to keep quails for sport or become obsessed with such pastimes. He taught me to respect others' freedom of speech and to pursue philosophy. I'm grateful to him for introducing me to Bacchius, Tandasis, and Marcianus, and for encouraging me to write dialogues in my youth. Thanks to him, I developed an appreciation for the simple lifestyle associated with Greek philosophers, including their modest couches and animal skins.
IV. To Rusticus I am beholding, that I first entered into the conceit that my life wanted some redress and cure. And then, that I did not fall into the ambition of ordinary sophists, either to write tracts concerning the common theorems, or to exhort men unto virtue and the study of philosophy by public orations; as also that I never by way of ostentation did affect to show myself an active able man, for any kind of bodily exercises. And that I gave over the study of rhetoric and poetry, and of elegant neat language. That I did not use to walk about the house in my long robe, nor to do any such things. Moreover I learned of him to write letters without any affectation, or curiosity; such as that was, which by him was written to my mother from Sinuessa: and to be easy and ready to be reconciled, and well pleased again with them that had offended me, as soon as any of them would be content to seek unto me again. To read with diligence; not to rest satisfied with a light and superficial knowledge, nor quickly to assent to things commonly spoken of: whom also I must thank that ever I lighted upon Epictetus his Hypomnemata, or moral commentaries and common-factions: which also he gave me of his own.
4. I owe Rusticus, for showing me that my life needed improvement. He kept me from the usual sophists' ambitions of writing theoretical treatises or giving public speeches on virtue and philosophy. He also discouraged me from showing off physical abilities or pursuing rhetoric, poetry, and flowery language. I learned not to walk around the house in a long robe or engage in similar pretensions. From him, I learned to write straightforward letters, like the one he sent to my mother from Sinuessa. He taught me to forgive easily and reconcile quickly with those who had wronged me, once they sought to make amends. I learned to read thoroughly, avoid superficial knowledge, and not hastily agree with common opinions. I'm also grateful to him for introducing me to Epictetus' Hypomnemata, or moral commentaries, which he gave me from his own collection.
V. From Apollonius, true liberty, and unvariable steadfastness, and not to regard anything at all, though never so little, but right and reason: and always, whether in the sharpest pains, or after the loss of a child, or in long diseases, to be still the same man; who also was a present and visible example unto me, that it was possible for the same man to be both vehement and remiss: a man not subject to be vexed, and offended with the incapacity of his scholars and auditors in his lectures and expositions; and a true pattern of a man who of all his good gifts and faculties, least esteemed in himself, that his excellent skill and ability to teach and persuade others the common theorems and maxims of the Stoic philosophy. Of him also I learned how to receive favours and kindnesses (as commonly they are accounted:) from friends, so that I might not become obnoxious unto them, for them, nor more yielding upon occasion, than in right I ought; and yet so that I should not pass them neither, as an unsensible and unthankful man.
5. From Apollonius I learned true freedom and unwavering steadfastness. I learned to regard nothing at all, however small, except right and reason. I learned to stay always the same man, whether in the sharpest pains, after the loss of a child, or in long illnesses. He was a living example to me that the same man can be both intense and relaxed. He was not one to be irritated or offended when his students and listeners were slow to grasp his lectures and explanations. He was a true model of a man who, of all his good gifts and abilities, valued least in himself his excellent skill at teaching others the common principles and maxims of Stoic philosophy and persuading them. From him I also learned how to receive what are commonly counted favors and kindnesses from friends. I learned to accept them without becoming beholden to my friends because of them, or more compliant than I rightly ought to be. Yet I learned not to pass them over either, like an unfeeling and ungrateful man.
VI. Of Sextus, mildness and the pattern of a family governed with paternal affection; and a purpose to live according to nature: to be grave without affectation: to observe carefully the several dispositions of my friends, not to be offended with idiots, nor unseasonably to set upon those that are carried with the vulgar opinions, with the theorems, and tenets of philosophers: his conversation being an example how a man might accommodate himself to all men and companies; so that though his company were sweeter and more pleasing than any flatterer's cogging and fawning; yet was it at the same time most respected and reverenced: who also had a proper happiness and faculty, rationally and methodically to find out, and set in order all necessary determinations and instructions for a man's life. A man without ever the least appearance of anger, or any other passion; able at the same time most exactly to observe the Stoic Apathia, or unpassionateness, and yet to be most tender-hearted: ever of good credit; and yet almost without any noise, or rumour: very learned, and yet making little show.
6. From Sextus I learned mildness, and the example of a household governed with a father's love. I learned the aim of living according to nature, and to be serious without pretense. I learned to pay careful attention to the different temperaments of my friends. I learned not to be offended by ignorant people. Nor should I, at the wrong time, press the theories and doctrines of philosophers on those who are carried along by ordinary opinions. His way with people showed how a man can adapt himself to everyone and every company. His company was sweeter and more pleasing than any flatterer's fawning, yet at the same time he was most respected and revered. He also had a special gift for finding out, rationally and methodically, all the principles and rules a person needs for life, and for setting them in order. He never showed the least sign of anger or any other passion. He could keep the Stoic Apathia, or freedom from passion, most exactly, and yet be most tender-hearted. He always had a good reputation, yet with hardly any noise or fuss. He was very learned, yet made little show of it.
VII. From Alexander the Grammarian, to be un-reprovable myself, and not reproachfully to reprehend any man for a barbarism, or a solecism, or any false pronunciation, but dextrously by way of answer, or testimony, or confirmation of the same matter (taking no notice of the word) to utter it as it should have been spoken; or by some other such close and indirect admonition, handsomely and civilly to tell him of it.
7. From Alexander the Grammarian I learned to be beyond reproach myself. I learned not to rebuke anyone harshly for a barbarism, a solecism, or a mispronunciation. Instead, I should skillfully say the word as it ought to have been said, without remarking on it, as part of my answer, or in supporting or confirming the point he made. Or I should point it out gracefully and politely by some other such quiet and indirect hint.
VIII. Of Fronto, to how much envy and fraud and hypocrisy the state of a tyrannous king is subject unto, and how they who are commonly called εὐπατρίδαι, i.e. nobly born, are in some sort incapable, or void of natural affection.
8. From Fronto I learned how much envy, deceit, and hypocrisy the position of a tyrannical king is exposed to. I also learned that those commonly called εὐπατρίδαι, that is, nobly born, are in some degree incapable of natural affection, or lacking in it.
IX. Of Alexander the Platonic, not often nor without great necessity to say, or to write to any man in a letter, 'I am not at leisure'; nor in this manner still to put off those duties, which we owe to our friends and acquaintances (to every one in his kind) under pretence of urgent affairs.
9. From Alexander the Platonist, I learned not to frequently or without good reason tell someone, either in person or in writing, "I'm too busy." I also learned not to constantly postpone obligations to friends and associates (each according to their relationship with me) by claiming to have urgent matters to attend to.
X. Of Catulus, not to contemn any friend's expostulation, though unjust, but to strive to reduce him to his former disposition: freely and heartily to speak well of all my masters upon any occasion, as it is reported of Domitius, and Athenodotus: and to love my children with true affection.
10. From Catulus, I learned not to dismiss a friend's complaints, even if unfounded, but to work on restoring our relationship. I also learned to speak positively about my mentors at every opportunity, as Domitius and Athenodotus were known to do, and to love my children genuinely and deeply.
XI. From my brother Severus, to be kind and loving to all them of my house and family; by whom also I came to the knowledge of Thrasea and Helvidius, and Cato, and Dio, and Brutus. He it was also that did put me in the first conceit and desire of an equal commonwealth, administered by justice and equality; and of a kingdom wherein should be regarded nothing more than the good and welfare of the subjects. Of him also, to observe a constant tenor, (not interrupted, with any other cares and distractions,) in the study and esteem of philosophy: to be bountiful and liberal in the largest measure; always to hope the best; and to be confident that my friends love me. In whom I moreover observed open dealing towards those whom he reproved at any time, and that his friends might without all doubt or much observation know what he would, or would not, so open and plain was he.
11. From my brother Severus, I learned kindness and love towards all in my household and family. Through him, I discovered Thrasea, Helvidius, Cato, Dio, and Brutus. He inspired my initial interest in a fair society, governed by justice and equality, and a kingdom prioritizing its subjects' well-being. He taught me to maintain unwavering focus on philosophical studies, to be generous to the fullest extent, to always hope for the best, and to trust in my friends' affection. I also noticed his candor when correcting others, and his transparency with friends, who could easily discern his wishes without much scrutiny.
XII. From Claudius Maximus, in all things to endeavour to have power of myself, and in nothing to be carried about; to be cheerful and courageous in all sudden chances and accidents, as in sicknesses: to love mildness, and moderation, and gravity: and to do my business, whatsoever it be, thoroughly, and without querulousness. Whatsoever he said, all men believed him that as he spake, so he thought, and whatsoever he did, that he did it with a good intent. His manner was, never to wonder at anything; never to be in haste, and yet never slow: nor to be perplexed, or dejected, or at any time unseemly, or excessively to laugh: nor to be angry, or suspicious, but ever ready to do good, and to forgive, and to speak truth; and all this, as one that seemed rather of himself to have been straight and right, than ever to have been rectified or redressed; neither was there any man that ever thought himself undervalued by him, or that could find in his heart, to think himself a better man than he. He would also be very pleasant and gracious.
12. From Claudius Maximus I learned to try in all things to have command of myself, and never to be swept along by anything. I learned to be cheerful and courageous in all sudden misfortunes and accidents, as in illnesses. I learned to love mildness, moderation, and seriousness, and to do my work, whatever it is, thoroughly and without complaining. Whatever he said, everyone believed that he thought just as he spoke. Whatever he did, they believed he did it with good intent. It was his way never to marvel at anything, never to be in a hurry, and yet never to be slow. He was never perplexed or dejected, never at any time unseemly, and never laughed excessively. He was never angry or suspicious, but always ready to do good, to forgive, and to speak the truth. In all this he seemed a man naturally straight and upright, rather than one who had ever been corrected or set right. No one ever thought himself undervalued by him, and no one could bring himself to think he was a better man than Maximus. He was also very pleasant and gracious, as a rule.
XIII. In my father, I observed his meekness; his constancy without wavering in those things, which after a due examination and deliberation, he had determined. How free from all vanity he carried himself in matter of honour and dignity, (as they are esteemed:) his laboriousness and assiduity, his readiness to hear any man, that had aught to say tending to any common good: how generally and impartially he would give every man his due; his skill and knowledge, when rigour or extremity, or when remissness or moderation was in season; how he did abstain from all unchaste love of youths; his moderate condescending to other men's occasions as an ordinary man, neither absolutely requiring of his friends, that they should wait upon him at his ordinary meals, nor that they should of necessity accompany him in his journeys; and that whensoever any business upon some necessary occasions was to be put off and omitted before it could be ended, he was ever found when he went about it again, the same man that he was before. His accurate examination of things in consultations, and patient hearing of others. He would not hastily give over the search of the matter, as one easy to be satisfied with sudden notions and apprehensions. His care to preserve his friends; how neither at any time he would carry himself towards them with disdainful neglect, and grow weary of them; nor yet at any time be madly fond of them. His contented mind in all things, his cheerful countenance, his care to foresee things afar off, and to take order for the least, without any noise or clamour. Moreover how all acclamations and flattery were repressed by him: how carefully he observed all things necessary to the government, and kept an account of the common expenses, and how patiently he did abide that he was reprehended by some for this his strict and rigid kind of dealing. How he was neither a superstitious worshipper of the gods, nor an ambitious pleaser of men, or studious of popular applause; but sober in all things, and everywhere observant of that which was fitting; no affecter of novelties: in those things which conduced to his ease and convenience, (plenty whereof his fortune did afford him,) without pride and bragging, yet with all freedom and liberty: so that as he did freely enjoy them without any anxiety or affectation when they were present; so when absent, he found no want of them. Moreover, that he was never commended by any man, as either a learned acute man, or an obsequious officious man, or a fine orator; but as a ripe mature man, a perfect sound man; one that could not endure to be flattered; able to govern both himself and others. Moreover, how much he did honour all true philosophers, without upbraiding those that were not so; his sociableness, his gracious and delightful conversation, but never unto satiety; his care of his body within bounds and measure, not as one that desired to live long, or over-studious of neatness, and elegancy; and yet not as one that did not regard it: so that through his own care and providence, he seldom needed any inward physic, or outward applications: but especially how ingeniously he would yield to any that had obtained any peculiar faculty, as either eloquence, or the knowledge of the laws, or of ancient customs, or the like; and how he concurred with them, in his best care and endeavour that every one of them might in his kind, for that wherein he excelled, be regarded and esteemed: and although he did all things carefully after the ancient customs of his forefathers, yet even of this was he not desirous that men should take notice, that he did imitate ancient customs. Again, how he was not easily moved and tossed up and down, but loved to be constant, both in the same places and businesses; and how after his great fits of headache he would return fresh and vigorous to his wonted affairs. Again, that secrets he neither had many, nor often, and such only as concerned public matters: his discretion and moderation, in exhibiting of the public sights and shows for the pleasure and pastime of the people: in public buildings. congiaries, and the like. In all these things, having a respect unto men only as men, and to the equity of the things themselves, and not unto the glory that might follow. Never wont to use the baths at unseasonable hours; no builder; never curious, or solicitous, either about his meat, or about the workmanship, or colour of his clothes, or about anything that belonged to external beauty. In all his conversation, far from all inhumanity, all boldness, and incivility, all greediness and impetuosity; never doing anything with such earnestness, and intention, that a man could say of him, that he did sweat about it: but contrariwise, all things distinctly, as at leisure; without trouble; orderly, soundly, and agreeably. A man might have applied that to him, which is recorded of Socrates, that he knew how to want, and to enjoy those things, in the want whereof, most men show themselves weak; and in the fruition, intemperate: but to hold out firm and constant, and to keep within the compass of true moderation and sobriety in either estate, is proper to a man, who hath a perfect and invincible soul; such as he showed himself in the sickness of Maximus.
13. In my father I observed his mildness, and his unwavering firmness in the things he had decided after due examination and deliberation. I saw how free from all vanity he was about honors and dignities, as people value them. I saw his love of work and his perseverance. He was ready to hear anyone who had something to say for the common good. He gave every man his due, generally and impartially. He had the skill to know when strictness or severity was called for, and when leniency or moderation was in season. He abstained from all unchaste love of youths. He made modest allowance for other men's needs, as an ordinary man would. He did not insist that his friends attend him at his ordinary meals, or that they must go with him on his journeys. Whenever some business had to be put aside for some necessary reason before it was finished, he was always the same man when he took it up again. He examined matters carefully in council, and listened patiently to others. He would not quickly give up looking into a matter, like someone easily satisfied with sudden notions and first impressions. He took care to keep his friends. He never treated them with disdainful neglect or grew tired of them, yet he was never madly fond of them either. He had a contented mind in all things and a cheerful face. He took care to foresee things far ahead, and to provide even for the smallest things, without any noise or fuss. He also put down all public cheering and flattery. He carefully attended to everything the government needed, and kept account of the public expenses. He patiently endured being criticized by some for this strict and rigid way of dealing. He was not a superstitious worshipper of the gods, nor an ambitious pleaser of men, nor a seeker of popular applause. He was sober in all things, and everywhere observed what was fitting. He did not chase after novelties. As for the things that served his ease and comfort, which his fortune supplied in plenty, he used them without pride or boasting, yet with complete freedom. So when they were there, he enjoyed them freely, without anxiety or affectation. And when they were absent, he did not miss them. No one ever praised him as a learned and clever man, or as an obliging courtier, or as a fine speaker. They praised him as a ripe and mature man, a complete and sound man, one who could not stand flattery, and one able to govern both himself and others. He greatly honored all true philosophers, without reproaching those who were not. He was sociable, and his conversation was gracious and delightful, but never to the point of excess. He cared for his body within limits. He did not care for it like one who wished to live long, or who was overly devoted to neatness and elegance. Yet he did not neglect it either. So through his own care and foresight he seldom needed medicine taken inwardly or remedies applied outwardly. Above all, he generously deferred to anyone who had some special ability, such as eloquence, or knowledge of the laws or of ancient customs, and the like. He worked with them, doing his best so that each might be respected and esteemed for the thing he excelled in. He did everything carefully according to the ancient customs of his ancestors. Yet he did not even wish people to notice that he was following ancient customs. He was not easily moved and tossed about, but loved to stay constant, both in the same places and in the same affairs. After his severe attacks of headache he would return fresh and vigorous to his usual work. He had few secrets, and those rarely, and only ones that concerned public matters. He showed discretion and moderation in putting on public spectacles and shows for the people's pleasure and entertainment, in public buildings, in gifts to the people, and the like. In all these things he had regard only to men as men, and to the fairness of the things themselves, not to the glory that might follow. He never bathed at improper hours. He was no builder. He was never fussy or anxious about his food, or about the workmanship or color of his clothes, or about anything that concerned outward beauty. In all his dealings he was far from all inhumanity, all boldness and rudeness, all greed and impulsiveness. He never did anything so earnestly and intently that anyone could say he was sweating over it. On the contrary, he did everything distinctly, as if at leisure, without fuss, in an orderly, sound, and agreeable way. One could have applied to him what is recorded of Socrates. He knew how to do without, and how to enjoy, those things which most men are too weak to do without and too intemperate to enjoy. But to hold out firm and constant, and to keep within true moderation and sobriety in either state, belongs to a man with a perfect and invincible soul. Such a soul he showed in the illness of Maximus.
XIV. From the gods I received that I had good grandfathers, and parents, a good sister, good masters, good domestics, loving kinsmen, almost all that I have; and that I never through haste and rashness transgressed against any of them, notwithstanding that my disposition was such, as that such a thing (if occasion had been) might very well have been committed by me, but that It was the mercy of the gods, to prevent such a concurring of matters and occasions, as might make me to incur this blame. That I was not long brought up by the concubine of my father; that I preserved the flower of my youth. That I took not upon me to be a man before my time, but rather put it off longer than I needed. That I lived under the government of my lord and father, who would take away from me all pride and vainglory, and reduce me to that conceit and opinion that it was not impossible for a prince to live in the court without a troop of guards and followers, extraordinary apparel, such and such torches and statues, and other like particulars of state and magnificence; but that a man may reduce and contract himself almost to the state of a private man, and yet for all that not to become the more base and remiss in those public matters and affairs, wherein power and authority is requisite. That I have had such a brother, who by his own example might stir me up to think of myself; and by his respect and love, delight and please me. That I have got ingenuous children, and that they were not born distorted, nor with any other natural deformity. That I was no great proficient in the study of rhetoric and poetry, and of other faculties, which perchance I might have dwelt upon, if I had found myself to go on in them with success. That I did by times prefer those, by whom I was brought up, to such places and dignities, which they seemed unto me most to desire; and that I did not put them off with hope and expectation, that (since that they were yet but young) I would do the same hereafter. That I ever knew Apollonius and Rusticus, and Maximus. That I have had occasion often and effectually to consider and meditate with myself, concerning that life which is according to nature, what the nature and manner of it is: so that as for the gods and such suggestions, helps and inspirations, as might be expected from them, nothing did hinder, but that I might have begun long before to live according to nature; or that even now that I was not yet partaker and in present possession of that life, that I myself (in that I did not observe those inward motions, and suggestions, yea and almost plain and apparent instructions and admonitions of the gods,) was the only cause of it. That my body in such a life, hath been able to hold out so long. That I never had to do with Benedicta and Theodotus, yea and afterwards when I fell into some fits of love, I was soon cured. That having been often displeased with Rusticus, I never did him anything for which afterwards I had occasion to repent. That it being so that my mother was to die young, yet she lived with me all her latter years. That as often as I had a purpose to help and succour any that either were poor, or fallen into some present necessity, I never was answered by my officers that there was not ready money enough to do it; and that I myself never had occasion to require the like succour from any other. That I have such a wife, so obedient, so loving, so ingenuous. That I had choice of fit and able men, to whom I might commit the bringing up of my children. That by dreams I have received help, as for other things, so in particular, how I might stay my casting of blood, and cure my dizziness, as that also that happened to thee in Cajeta, as unto Chryses when he prayed by the seashore. And when I did first apply myself to philosophy, that I did not fall into the hands of some sophists, or spent my time either in reading the manifold volumes of ordinary philosophers, nor in practising myself in the solution of arguments and fallacies, nor dwelt upon the studies of the meteors, and other natural curiosities. All these things without the assistance of the gods, and fortune, could not have been.
14. From the gods I received that I had good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, good servants, loving relatives, and almost all that I have. I received too that I never, through haste and rashness, did wrong to any of them. Yet my disposition was such that I might well have done such a thing, if the occasion had arisen. It was the mercy of the gods that prevented such a combination of circumstances as would have brought this blame on me. That I was not brought up for long by my father's concubine. That I kept the flower of my youth unspoiled. That I did not try to act the man before my time, but rather put it off longer than I needed. That I lived under the rule of my lord and father, who would take all pride and vainglory away from me. He brought me to understand that it was not impossible for a prince to live at court without a troop of guards and followers, extraordinary clothing, such and such torches and statues, and other such displays of state and splendor. Rather, a man may bring himself down almost to the state of a private man, and yet not become any meaner or slacker in the public affairs where power and authority are needed. That I have had such a brother, who by his own example could rouse me to look to myself, and by his respect and love delight and please me. That I have had children of good character, and that they were not born deformed or with any other natural defect. That I made no great progress in rhetoric, poetry, and other such studies, which perhaps I might have become absorbed in if I had found myself succeeding in them. That I promoted my tutors in good time to the positions and honors they seemed to me to want most. And that I did not put them off with the hope that, since they were still young, I would do it later. That I ever knew Apollonius, Rusticus, and Maximus. That I have often had real occasion to consider and meditate on the life that is according to nature, and what its nature and manner are. So as far as the gods were concerned, with the suggestions, help, and inspirations that might be expected from them, nothing prevented me from beginning long ago to live according to nature. And if even now I do not yet share in that life and possess it, I myself am the only cause. For I did not heed the inner promptings and suggestions of the gods, and their almost plain and evident instructions and warnings. That my body has held out so long in such a life. That I never touched Benedicta or Theodotus, and that afterwards, when I fell into some fits of love, I was soon cured. That although I was often displeased with Rusticus, I never did anything to him that I later had cause to regret. That though my mother was fated to die young, she lived with me all her last years. That whenever I wished to help and relieve anyone who was poor or had fallen into some present need, my officials never told me there was not enough money at hand to do it. And that I myself never had occasion to need such help from anyone else. That I have such a wife, so obedient, so loving, so sincere. That I had a good choice of fit and able men to whom I could entrust the upbringing of my children. That I have received help through dreams, both for other things and in particular for stopping my spitting of blood and curing my dizziness. So it also happened to you at Cajeta, as it did to Chryses when he prayed by the seashore. And that when I first turned to philosophy, I did not fall into the hands of some sophist. Nor did I spend my time reading the many volumes of ordinary philosophers, or practicing the solving of arguments and fallacies, or dwelling on the study of the heavens and other curiosities of nature. None of these things could have come about without the help of the gods and of fortune.
XV. In the country of the Quadi at Granua, these. Betimes in the morning say to thyself, This day I shalt have to do with an idle curious man, with an unthankful man, a railer, a crafty, false, or an envious man; an unsociable uncharitable man. All these ill qualities have happened unto them, through ignorance of that which is truly good and truly bad. But I that understand the nature of that which is good, that it only is to be desired, and of that which is bad, that it only is truly odious and shameful: who know moreover, that this transgressor, whosoever he be, is my kinsman, not by the same blood and seed, but by participation of the same reason, and of the same divine particle; How can I either be hurt by any of those, since it is not in their power to make me incur anything that is truly reproachful? or angry, and ill affected towards him, who by nature is so near unto me? for we are all born to be fellow-workers, as the feet, the hands, and the eyelids; as the rows of the upper and under teeth: for such therefore to be in opposition, is against nature; and what is it to chafe at, and to be averse from, but to be in opposition?
15. In the land of the Quadi by the Granua River, remember this: Start your day by acknowledging that you'll likely encounter difficult people—the lazy, ungrateful, critical, deceitful, envious, or antisocial. These flaws stem from their ignorance of true good and evil. But I, understanding the nature of good (which alone is desirable) and evil (which alone is truly despicable), know that this wrongdoer, whoever they may be, is my kin. Not by blood, but through our shared reason and divine spark. How, then, can I be harmed by any of them, since they can't make me do anything truly shameful? Why should I be angry or resentful towards someone so intrinsically connected to me? We're all born to work together, like feet, hands, and eyelids, or upper and lower teeth. To oppose each other goes against nature. What is anger and aversion if not opposition?
XVI. Whatsoever I am, is either flesh, or life, or that which we commonly call the mistress and overruling part of man; reason. Away with thy books, suffer not thy mind any more to be distracted, and carried to and fro; for it will not be; but as even now ready to die, think little of thy flesh: blood, bones, and a skin; a pretty piece of knit and twisted work, consisting of nerves, veins and arteries; think no more of it, than so. And as for thy life, consider what it is; a wind; not one constant wind neither, but every moment of an hour let out, and sucked in again. The third, is thy ruling part; and here consider; Thou art an old man; suffer not that excellent part to be brought in subjection, and to become slavish: suffer it not to be drawn up and down with unreasonable and unsociable lusts and motions, as it were with wires and nerves; suffer it not any more, either to repine at anything now present, or to fear and fly anything to come, which the destiny hath appointed thee.
16. Whatever I am is either body, life, or what we commonly call the mind—the ruling part of a person. Put away your books and don't let your mind be distracted anymore; it's pointless. As if you were about to die, think little of your body: blood, bones, and skin; a complex structure of nerves, veins, and arteries. Don't dwell on it more than that. As for your life, consider what it is: a breath; not even a constant one, but inhaled and exhaled every moment. The third is your mind. Remember: You're old now. Don't let this vital part become enslaved or controlled by irrational desires and impulses. Don't allow it to complain about the present or fear the future that fate has in store for you.
XVII. Whatsoever proceeds from the gods immediately, that any man will grant totally depends from their divine providence. As for those things that are commonly said to happen by fortune, even those must be conceived to have dependence from nature, or from that first and general connection, and concatenation of all those things, which more apparently by the divine providence are administered and brought to pass. All things flow from thence: and whatsoever it is that is, is both necessary, and conducing to the whole (part of which thou art), and whatsoever it is that is requisite and necessary for the preservation of the general, must of necessity for every particular nature, be good and behoveful. And as for the whole, it is preserved, as by the perpetual mutation and conversion of the simple elements one into another, so also by the mutation, and alteration of things mixed and compounded. Let these things suffice thee; let them be always unto thee, as thy general rules and precepts. As for thy thirst after books, away with it with all speed, that thou die not murmuring and complaining, but truly meek and well satisfied, and from thy heart thankful unto the gods.
17. Everything that comes directly from the gods clearly depends on divine providence. Even things said to happen by chance must be understood to depend on nature or the universal connection of all things, which are more visibly managed by divine providence. All things flow from this source. Whatever exists is both necessary and contributes to the whole (of which you are a part). Whatever is essential for preserving the general order must, by necessity, be good and beneficial for every individual nature. The whole is preserved both by the constant transformation of basic elements into one another and by the change and alteration of mixed and compound things. Let these ideas be enough for you; keep them as your general rules and principles. As for your thirst for books, abandon it quickly, so that you may die not grumbling and complaining, but truly humble, content, and sincerely grateful to the gods.