The People of Flatland

The greatest length or breadth of a full grown inhabitant of Flatland may be estimated at about eleven of your inches. Twelve inches may be regarded as a maximum.

A fully grown inhabitant of Flatland may measure about eleven of your inches at their longest or widest point. Twelve inches may be considered the maximum.

Our Women are Straight Lines.

Our women are straight lines.

Our Soldiers and Lowest Classes of Workmen are Triangles with two equal sides, each about eleven inches long, and a base or third side so short (often not exceeding half an inch) that they form at their vertices a very sharp and formidable angle. Indeed when their bases are of the most degraded type (not more than the eighth part of an inch in size), they can hardly be distinguished from Straight Lines or Women; so extremely pointed are their vertices. With us, as with you, these Triangles are distinguished from others by being called Isosceles; and by this name I shall refer to them in the following pages.

Our Soldiers and Lowest Classes of Workmen are Triangles with two equal sides, each about eleven inches long. Their base, or third side, is so short (often no more than half an inch) that their tips form a very sharp and formidable angle. Indeed, the most degraded type have bases no more than an eighth of an inch long. When their bases are this short, their tips are so extremely pointed that they can hardly be distinguished from Straight Lines or Women. In our world, as in yours, these Triangles are distinguished from others by the name Isosceles. I will use this name for them in the following pages.

Our Middle Class consists of Equilateral or Equal-Sided Triangles.

Our middle class is made up of Equilateral Triangles, or triangles with equal sides.

Our Professional Men and Gentlemen are Squares (to which class I myself belong) and Five-Sided Figures or Pentagons.

Our professionals and gentlemen are Squares or five-sided figures called Pentagons. I am a Square myself.

Next above these come the Nobility, of whom there are several degrees, beginning at Six-Sided Figures, or Hexagons, and from thence rising in the number of their sides till they receive the honourable title of Polygonal, or many-sided. Finally when the number of the sides becomes so numerous, and the sides themselves so small, that the figure cannot be distinguished from a circle, he is included in the Circular or Priestly order; and this is the highest class of all.

Next above these come the Nobility, who have several ranks, beginning with Six-Sided Figures, or Hexagons. The ranks rise with the number of sides, until the figures earn the honorable title of Polygonal, or many-sided. Finally, a figure’s sides become so numerous and so small that he cannot be distinguished from a circle. When this happens, he joins the Circular or Priestly order, the highest class of all.

It is a Law of Nature with us that a male child shall have one more side than his father, so that each generation shall rise (as a rule) one step in the scale of development and nobility. Thus the son of a Square is a Pentagon; the son of a Pentagon, a Hexagon; and so on.

Among us, a Law of Nature requires every male child to have one more side than his father. So each generation rises (as a rule) one step in development and nobility. Thus the son of a Square is a Pentagon. The son of a Pentagon is a Hexagon, and so on.

But this rule applies not always to the Tradesmen, and still less often to the Soldiers, and to the Workmen; who indeed can hardly be said to deserve the name of human Figures, since they have not all their sides equal. With them therefore the Law of Nature does not hold; and the son of an Isosceles (i.e. a Triangle with two sides equal) remains Isosceles still. Nevertheless, all hope is not shut out, even from the Isosceles, that his posterity may ultimately rise above his degraded condition. For, after a long series of military successes, or diligent and skilful labours, it is generally found that the more intelligent among the Artisan and Soldier classes manifest a slight increase of their third side or base, and a shrinkage of the two other sides. Intermarriages (arranged by the Priests) between the sons and daughters of these more intellectual members of the lower classes generally result in an offspring approximating still more to the type of the Equal-Sided Triangle.

But this rule does not always apply to Tradesmen, and applies even less often to Soldiers and Workmen. Indeed, Soldiers and Workmen hardly deserve the name of human Figures, since their sides are not all equal. So the Law of Nature does not hold for them. The son of an Isosceles (a Triangle with two equal sides) remains an Isosceles. Nevertheless, even an Isosceles still has some hope that his descendants may eventually rise above his degraded condition. After many military successes, or diligent and skilled work, a slight change generally appears in the more intelligent Artisans and Soldiers. Their third side, or base, grows slightly longer, while their other two sides shrink. The Priests arrange marriages between the sons and daughters of these more intelligent members of the lower classes. These marriages generally produce children whose shape comes even closer to an Equal-Sided Triangle.

Rarely—in proportion to the vast numbers of Isosceles births—is a genuine and certifiable Equal-Sided Triangle produced from Isosceles parents. [Note: "What need of a certificate?" a Spaceland critic may ask: "Is not the procreation of a Square Son a certificate from Nature herself, proving the Equal-sidedness of the Father?" I reply that no Lady of any position will marry an uncertified Triangle. Square offspring has sometimes resulted from a slightly Irregular Triangle; but in almost every such case the Irregularity of the first generation is visited on the third; which either fails to attain the Pentagonal rank, or relapses to the Triangular.] Such a birth requires, as its antecedents, not only a series of carefully arranged intermarriages, but also a long, continued exercise of frugality and self-control on the part of the would-be ancestors of the coming Equilateral, and a patient, systematic, and continuous development of the Isosceles intellect through many generations.

Compared with the vast number of Isosceles births, genuine Equal-Sided Triangles eligible for certification are rarely born to Isosceles parents. [Note: "Why is a certificate needed?" a Spaceland critic may ask: "Isn't the birth of a Square Son a certificate from Nature herself, proving the Father's Equal-sidedness?" I reply that no Lady of any social standing will marry an uncertified Triangle. A slightly Irregular Triangle has sometimes produced Square offspring. But in almost every such case, the first generation's Irregularity reappears in the third generation. That third generation either fails to reach the Pentagonal rank or falls back to the Triangular.] Such a birth requires not only a series of carefully arranged intermarriages. The prospective ancestors of the coming Equilateral must also practice thrift and self-control over a long period. They must also develop the Isosceles intellect patiently, systematically, and continuously over many generations.

The birth of a True Equilateral Triangle from Isosceles parents is the subject of rejoicing in our country for many furlongs around. After a strict examination conducted by the Sanitary and Social Board, the infant, if certified as Regular, is with solemn ceremonial admitted into the class of Equilaterals. He is then immediately taken from his proud yet sorrowing parents and adopted by some childless Equilateral, who is bound by oath never to permit the child henceforth to enter his former home or so much as to look upon his relations again, for fear lest the freshly developed organism may, by force of unconscious imitation, fall back again into his hereditary level.

The birth of a True Equilateral Triangle to Isosceles parents brings celebration for miles around in our country. The Sanitary and Social Board puts the infant through a strict examination. If certified as Regular, he is admitted into the class of Equilaterals in a solemn ceremony. He is then immediately taken from his proud but grieving parents and adopted by a childless Equilateral. The adoptive parent must swear never to let the child enter his former home or even see his relatives again. This is for fear that the child’s newly developed body may return to its inherited level through unconscious imitation.

The occasional emergence of an Equilateral from the ranks of his serf-born ancestors is welcomed, not only by the poor serfs themselves, as a gleam of light and hope shed upon the monotonous squalor of their existence, but also by the Aristocracy at large; for all the higher classes are well aware that these rare phenomena, while they do little or nothing to vulgarize their own privileges, serve as a most useful barrier against revolution from below.

The occasional rise of an Equilateral from serf-born ancestors is welcomed by the poor serfs themselves. It brings a glimmer of light and hope into their dreary, filthy lives. But the Aristocracy as a whole also welcomes these rare events. For all the higher classes know that such events do little or nothing to cheapen their own privileges. Yet these events serve as a very useful barrier against revolution from below.

Had the acute-angled rabble been all, without exception, absolutely destitute of hope and of ambition, they might have found leaders in some of their many seditious outbreaks, so able as to render their superior numbers and strength too much even for the wisdom of the Circles. But a wise ordinance of Nature has decreed that, in proportion as the working-classes increase in intelligence, knowledge, and all virtue, in that same proportion their acute angle (which makes them physically terrible) shall increase also and approximate to the comparatively harmless angle of the Equilateral Triangle. Thus, in the most brutal and formidable of the soldier class—creatures almost on a level with women in their lack of intelligence—it is found that, as they wax in the mental ability necessary to employ their tremendous penetrating power to advantage, so do they wane in the power of penetration itself.

If the sharp-angled rabble had all been completely without hope or ambition, they might have found able leaders during some of their many rebellions. Such leaders might have made their greater numbers and strength too much even for the wisdom of the Circles. But a wise law of Nature has decreed that the working classes must change as they grow in intelligence, knowledge, and every virtue. In the same proportion, their sharp angle, which makes them physically terrifying, must widen toward the relatively harmless angle of the Equilateral Triangle. The most brutal and fearsome members of the soldier class are almost as unintelligent as women. As these soldiers gain the mental ability needed to use their tremendous piercing power effectively, their piercing power itself declines.

How admirable is this Law of Compensation! And how perfect a proof of the natural fitness and, I may almost say, the divine origin of the aristocratic constitution of the States in Flatland! By a judicious use of this Law of Nature, the Polygons and Circles are almost always able to stifle sedition in its very cradle, taking advantage of the irrepressible and boundless hopefulness of the human mind. Art also comes to the aid of Law and Order. It is generally found possible—by a little artificial compression or expansion on the part of the State physicians—to make some of the more intelligent leaders of a rebellion perfectly Regular, and to admit them at once into the privileged classes; a much larger number, who are still below the standard, allured by the prospect of being ultimately ennobled, are induced to enter the State Hospitals, where they are kept in honourable confinement for life; one or two alone of the more obstinate, foolish, and hopelessly irregular are led to execution.

How admirable this Law of Compensation is! And how perfectly it proves the natural fitness of aristocratic government in the States of Flatland! I might almost say it proves that government's divine origin! By wisely using this Law of Nature, the Polygons and Circles can almost always crush rebellion before it takes hold. They take advantage of the human mind's boundless hope, which cannot be suppressed. Art, too, comes to the aid of Law and Order. The State physicians can generally make some of a rebellion's more intelligent leaders perfectly Regular. They do this through a little artificial compression or expansion. These leaders can then be admitted immediately into the privileged classes. A much larger number still fall below the standard. Drawn by the prospect of eventually becoming nobles, these rebels are persuaded to enter the State Hospitals. There they are kept in honourable confinement for life. Only one or two of the more stubborn, foolish, and hopelessly irregular rebels are led to execution.

Then the wretched rabble of the Isosceles, planless and leaderless, are either transfixed without resistance by the small body of their brethren whom the Chief Circle keeps in pay for emergencies of this kind; or else more often, by means of jealousies and suspicions skilfully fomented among them by the Circular party, they are stirred to mutual warfare, and perish by one another's angles. No less than one hundred and twenty rebellions are recorded in our annals, besides minor outbreaks numbered at two hundred and thirty-five; and they have all ended thus.

Then the wretched rabble of the Isosceles, with no plan or leader, meet one of two fates. Either a small group of their own kind impales them without resistance. The Chief Circle keeps this group on his payroll for emergencies of this kind. Or, more often, the Circular party skillfully stirs up jealousy and suspicion among the rebels, turning them against one another. The rebels then die by one another's angles. Our records list no fewer than one hundred and twenty rebellions, besides two hundred and thirty-five smaller outbreaks. All have ended this way.