Birth Formulas

I heard what follows not from Arowhena, but from Mr. Nosnibor and some of the gentlemen who occasionally dined at the house: they told me that the Erewhonians believe in pre-existence; and not only this (of which I will write more fully in the next chapter), but they believe that it is of their own free act and deed in a previous state that they come to be born into this world at all. They hold that the unborn are perpetually plaguing and tormenting the married of both sexes, fluttering about them incessantly, and giving them no peace either of mind or body until they have consented to take them under their protection. If this were not so (this at least is what they urge), it would be a monstrous freedom for one man to take with another, to say that he should undergo the chances and changes of this mortal life without any option in the matter. No man would have any right to get married at all, inasmuch as he can never tell what frightful misery his doing so may entail forcibly upon a being who cannot be unhappy as long as he does not exist. They feel this so strongly that they are resolved to shift the blame on to other shoulders; and have fashioned a long mythology as to the world in which the unborn people live, and what they do, and the arts and machinations to which they have recourse in order to get themselves into our own world. But of this more anon: what I would relate here is their manner of dealing with those who do come.

I heard what follows not from Arowhena, but from Mr. Nosnibor and some gentlemen who occasionally dined at the house. They told me that the Erewhonians believe in pre-existence. I will write more fully about this in the next chapter. But they also believe that they are born into this world by their own choice and action in a previous state. They hold that the unborn are constantly plaguing and tormenting married men and women. The unborn flutter around them endlessly, giving them no peace of mind or body until they agree to take them under their protection. If this were not so, the Erewhonians argue, one person would be taking a monstrous liberty with another. He would be making that person face the chances and changes of mortal life without giving him any choice. No man would have any right to marry at all. He can never know what terrible misery his marriage may force upon a being who cannot be unhappy while he does not exist. The Erewhonians feel this so strongly that they are determined to shift the blame onto other shoulders. They have created an elaborate mythology about the world where the unborn live. It tells what they do there and what tricks and schemes they use to get into our world. But more of that later. What I want to relate here is how the Erewhonians deal with those who do come.

It is a distinguishing peculiarity of the Erewhonians that when they profess themselves to be quite certain about any matter, and avow it as a base on which they are to build a system of practice, they seldom quite believe in it. If they smell a rat about the precincts of a cherished institution, they will always stop their noses to it if they can.

One distinctive trait of the Erewhonians is that they seldom fully believe things they claim to be absolutely certain about. This is true even when they declare that they will base a system of practice on those beliefs. If they smell a rat around a cherished institution, they will always hold their noses if they can.

This is what most of them did in this matter of the unborn, for I cannot (and never could) think that they seriously believed in their mythology concerning pre-existence: they did and they did not; they did not know themselves what they believed; all they did know was that it was a disease not to believe as they did. The only thing of which they were quite sure was that it was the pestering of the unborn which caused them to be brought into this world, and that they would not have been here if they would have only let peaceable people alone.

This is what most of them did about the unborn. I cannot, and never could, believe that they took their mythology about pre-existence seriously. They believed it and they did not. They did not know themselves what they believed. All they knew was that it was a disease not to believe as they did. The only thing they were quite sure of was that the unborn had pestered people into bringing them into this world. They were sure they would not be here if they had only left peaceful people alone.

It would be hard to disprove this position, and they might have a good case if they would only leave it as it stands. But this they will not do; they must have assurance doubly sure; they must have the written word of the child itself as soon as it is born, giving the parents indemnity from all responsibility on the score of its birth, and asserting its own pre-existence. They have therefore devised something which they call a birth formula—a document which varies in words according to the caution of parents, but is much the same practically in all cases; for it has been the business of the Erewhonian lawyers during many ages to exercise their skill in perfecting it and providing for every contingency.

It would be hard to disprove this position. They might have a good case if they would only leave it as it stands. But they will not do that. They must be doubly sure. As soon as the child is born, they must have a written statement from the child itself. It must release the parents from all responsibility for its birth and assert that the child existed before it was born. They have therefore devised something they call a birth formula. Its wording varies according to how cautious the parents are, but in practice it is much the same in every case. For many ages, Erewhonian lawyers have used their skills to perfect the document and provide for every possible situation.

These formulae are printed on common paper at a moderate cost for the poor; but the rich have them written on parchment and handsomely bound, so that the getting up of a person’s birth formula is a test of his social position. They commence by setting forth, That whereas A. B. was a member of the kingdom of the unborn, where he was well provided for in every way, and had no cause of discontent, &c., &c., he did of his own wanton depravity and restlessness conceive a desire to enter into this present world; that thereon having taken the necessary steps as set forth in laws of the unborn kingdom, he did with malice aforethought set himself to plague and pester two unfortunate people who had never wronged him, and who were quite contented and happy until he conceived this base design against their peace; for which wrong he now humbly entreats their pardon.

These formulae are printed on ordinary paper at a moderate cost for the poor. But the rich have them written on parchment and handsomely bound. So the presentation of a person’s birth formula is a test of his social position. The formulae begin by stating that A. B. was a member of the kingdom of the unborn. There, he was well provided for in every way and had no cause for discontent, and so on. Yet, out of sheer depravity and restlessness, he came to desire entry into this present world. He then took the necessary steps under the laws of the unborn kingdom. With malice aforethought, he set out to plague and pester two unfortunate people who had never wronged him. They had been quite contented and happy until he formed this base plan to disturb their peace. For this wrong, he now humbly begs their forgiveness.

He acknowledges that he is responsible for all physical blemishes and deficiencies which may render him answerable to the laws of his country; that his parents have nothing whatever to do with any of these things; and that they have a right to kill him at once if they be so minded, though he entreats them to show their marvellous goodness and clemency by sparing his life. If they will do this, he promises to be their most obedient and abject creature during his earlier years, and indeed all his life, unless they should see fit in their abundant generosity to remit some portion of his service hereafter. And so the formula continues, going sometimes into very minute details, according to the fancies of family lawyers, who will not make it any shorter than they can help.

He admits that he is responsible for all physical defects and disabilities that may make him answerable to his country's laws. He admits that his parents have nothing at all to do with any of them. He also admits that they have the right to kill him at once if they wish. Yet he begs them to show their marvelous goodness and mercy by sparing his life. If they do, he promises to be their most obedient and lowly servant throughout his early years, and indeed throughout his life. This will hold unless they choose, in their great generosity, to release him from some of his service later on. And so the formula continues, sometimes going into very small details, according to the whims of family lawyers. They will not make it any shorter than they have to.

The deed being thus prepared, on the third or fourth day after the birth of the child, or as they call it, the “final importunity,” the friends gather together, and there is a feast held, where they are all very melancholy—as a general rule, I believe, quite truly so—and make presents to the father and mother of the child in order to console them for the injury which has just been done them by the unborn.

Once the deed has been prepared, friends gather on the third or fourth day after the child’s birth, or what they call the “final importunity.” A feast is held, and everyone is very gloomy. As a rule, I believe their gloom is quite genuine. They give presents to the child’s father and mother to console them for the injury the unborn has just done them.

By-and-by the child himself is brought down by his nurse, and the company begin to rail upon him, upbraiding him for his impertinence, and asking him what amends he proposes to make for the wrong that he has committed, and how he can look for care and nourishment from those who have perhaps already been injured by the unborn on some ten or twelve occasions; for they say of people with large families, that they have suffered terrible injuries from the unborn; till at last, when this has been carried far enough, some one suggests the formula, which is brought out and solemnly read to the child by the family straightener. This gentleman is always invited on these occasions, for the very fact of intrusion into a peaceful family shows a depravity on the part of the child which requires his professional services.

Before long, the nurse brings the child down, and the guests begin to scold him for his insolence. They ask how he intends to make up for the wrong he has done. They also ask how he can expect care and food from people who may already have been injured by the unborn ten or twelve times. People with large families are said to have suffered terrible injuries from the unborn. When this has gone on long enough, someone suggests the formula. It is brought out and solemnly read to the child by the family straightener. This gentleman is always invited on these occasions. The child’s intrusion into a peaceful family is itself a sign of depravity that calls for his professional services.

On being teased by the reading and tweaked by the nurse, the child will commonly begin to cry, which is reckoned a good sign, as showing a consciousness of guilt. He is thereon asked, Does he assent to the formula? on which, as he still continues crying and can obviously make no answer, some one of the friends comes forward and undertakes to sign the document on his behalf, feeling sure (so he says) that the child would do it if he only knew how, and that he will release the present signer from his engagement on arriving at maturity. The friend then inscribes the signature of the child at the foot of the parchment, which is held to bind the child as much as though he had signed it himself.

When the reading upsets the child and the nurse pinches him, he usually begins to cry. This is taken as a good sign, showing that he feels guilty. He is then asked whether he agrees to the formula. Since he is still crying and obviously cannot answer, one of the friends steps forward. The friend offers to sign the document on his behalf. He says he is sure the child would sign it if only he knew how. He is also sure the child will release him from his commitment when he comes of age. The friend then signs the child’s name at the bottom of the parchment. This is considered just as binding on the child as if he had signed it himself.

Even this, however, does not fully content them, for they feel a little uneasy until they have got the child’s own signature after all. So when he is about fourteen, these good people partly bribe him by promises of greater liberty and good things, and partly intimidate him through their great power of making themselves actively unpleasant to him, so that though there is a show of freedom made, there is really none; they also use the offices of the teachers in the Colleges of Unreason, till at last, in one way or another, they take very good care that he shall sign the paper by which he professes to have been a free agent in coming into the world, and to take all the responsibility of having done so on to his own shoulders. And yet, though this document is obviously the most important which any one can sign in his whole life, they will have him do so at an age when neither they nor the law will for many a year allow any one else to bind him to the smallest obligation, no matter how righteously he may owe it, because they hold him too young to know what he is about, and do not consider it fair that he should commit himself to anything that may prejudice him in after years.

Even this does not fully satisfy them, however. They feel a little uneasy until they have the child’s own signature after all. So, when he is about fourteen, these good people partly bribe him with promises of greater freedom and good things. They also partly intimidate him by using their great power to make themselves actively unpleasant to him. Though they make a show of giving him a choice, he really has none. They also enlist the teachers in the Colleges of Unreason. In one way or another, they take great care to make sure he signs the paper. By signing it, he declares that he came into the world of his own free will. He also declares that he takes all the responsibility for doing so upon his own shoulders. Yet this document is obviously the most important one anyone can sign in a lifetime. Even so, they make him sign it at an age when neither they nor the law will allow anyone else to bind him to even the smallest obligation for many years to come. That is true no matter how justly he may owe it. They hold him too young to know what he is doing. They do not think it fair for him to commit himself to anything that may harm him in later years.

I own that all this seemed rather hard, and not of a piece with the many admirable institutions existing among them. I once ventured to say a part of what I thought about it to one of the Professors of Unreason. I did it very tenderly, but his justification of the system was quite out of my comprehension. I remember asking him whether he did not think it would do harm to a lad’s principles, by weakening his sense of the sanctity of his word and of truth generally, that he should be led into entering upon a solemn declaration as to the truth of things about which all that he can certainly know is that he knows nothing—whether, in fact, the teachers who so led him, or who taught anything as a certainty of which they were themselves uncertain, were not earning their living by impairing the truth-sense of their pupils (a delicate organisation mostly), and by vitiating one of their most sacred instincts.

I admit that all this seemed rather harsh and out of keeping with their many admirable institutions. I once ventured to tell one of the Professors of Unreason some of what I thought about it. I raised the matter very gently, but I could not understand his defense of the system at all. I remember asking him whether he thought it would harm a boy’s principles to be led into making a solemn declaration. The boy would be declaring the truth of things about which all he could know for certain was that he knew nothing. Would this not weaken his sense of the sanctity of his word and of truth in general? I asked whether teachers who led him to do this were earning their living by damaging their pupils’ sense of truth. The same question applied to teachers who taught anything as certain when they were themselves uncertain of it. A pupil’s sense of truth is mostly a delicate thing. Were these teachers not corrupting one of their pupils’ most sacred instincts?

The Professor, who was a delightful person, seemed greatly surprised at the view which I took, but it had no influence with him whatsoever. No one, he answered, expected that the boy either would or could know all that he said he knew; but the world was full of compromises; and there was hardly any affirmation which would bear being interpreted literally. Human language was too gross a vehicle of thought—thought being incapable of absolute translation. He added, that as there can be no translation from one language into another which shall not scant the meaning somewhat, or enlarge upon it, so there is no language which can render thought without a jarring and a harshness somewhere—and so forth; all of which seemed to come to this in the end, that it was the custom of the country, and that the Erewhonians were a conservative people; that the boy would have to begin compromising sooner or later, and this was part of his education in the art. It was perhaps to be regretted that compromise should be as necessary as it was; still it was necessary, and the sooner the boy got to understand it the better for himself. But they never tell this to the boy.

The Professor was a delightful person. He seemed greatly surprised by my view, but it had no influence on him whatsoever. He replied that no one expected the boy to know all he said he knew, or even to be capable of knowing it. But the world was full of compromises, and hardly any statement could be taken literally. Human language was too crude a means of expressing thought, which could not be translated perfectly. He added that a translation between languages always leaves out some meaning or adds to it. Likewise, no language can express thought without sounding jarring or harsh somewhere, and so forth. In the end, all this seemed to mean that it was the custom of the country, and that the Erewhonians were a conservative people. The boy would have to begin compromising sooner or later, and this was part of his education in that art. It was perhaps regrettable that compromise was so necessary. Still, it was necessary, and the sooner the boy understood that, the better for him. But they never tell this to the boy.

From the book of their mythology about the unborn I made the extracts which will form the following chapter.

I took the extracts in the next chapter from their book of mythology about the unborn.