In Prison

And now for the first time my courage completely failed me. It is enough to say that I was penniless, and a prisoner in a foreign country, where I had no friend, nor any knowledge of the customs or language of the people. I was at the mercy of men with whom I had little in common. And yet, engrossed as I was with my extremely difficult and doubtful position, I could not help feeling deeply interested in the people among whom I had fallen. What was the meaning of that room full of old machinery which I had just seen, and of the displeasure with which the magistrate had regarded my watch? The people had very little machinery now. I had been struck with this over and over again, though I had not been more than four-and-twenty hours in the country. They were about as far advanced as Europeans of the twelfth or thirteenth century; certainly not more so. And yet they must have had at one time the fullest knowledge of our own most recent inventions. How could it have happened that having been once so far in advance they were now as much behind us? It was evident that it was not from ignorance. They knew my watch as a watch when they saw it; and the care with which the broken machines were preserved and ticketed, proved that they had not lost the recollection of their former civilisation. The more I thought, the less I could understand it; but at last I concluded that they must have worked out their mines of coal and iron, till either none were left, or so few, that the use of these metals was restricted to the very highest nobility. This was the only solution I could think of; and, though I afterwards found how entirely mistaken it was, I felt quite sure then that it must be the right one.

Now, for the first time, my courage completely failed me. I was penniless and a prisoner in a foreign country. I had no friends there and knew nothing of the people’s customs or language. I was at the mercy of men with whom I had little in common. Yet even as I worried about my extremely difficult and uncertain situation, I was deeply interested in the people around me. What did that room full of old machinery mean? And why had the magistrate looked at my watch with such displeasure? The people had very little machinery now. I had noticed this again and again, though I had been in the country for no more than twenty-four hours. They were about as advanced as Europeans of the twelfth or thirteenth century, and certainly no more so. Yet they must once have had full knowledge of our own most recent inventions. How could they have been so far ahead once and now be so far behind us? Clearly, it was not because they were ignorant. They recognized my watch when they saw it. They had also carefully preserved and labeled the broken machines. This proved that they had not forgotten their former civilization. The more I thought about it, the less I understood. Finally, I concluded that they must have exhausted their coal and iron mines. Perhaps none was left, or so little that only the highest nobility could use these materials. This was the only explanation I could think of. Though I later discovered how completely wrong it was, at the time I felt sure it had to be right.

I had hardly arrived at this opinion for above four or five minutes, when the door opened, and a young woman made her appearance with a tray, and a very appetising smell of dinner. I gazed upon her with admiration as she laid a cloth and set a savoury-looking dish upon the table. As I beheld her I felt as though my position was already much ameliorated, for the very sight of her carried great comfort. She was not more than twenty, rather above the middle height, active and strong, but yet most delicately featured; her lips were full and sweet; her eyes were of a deep hazel, and fringed with long and springing eyelashes; her hair was neatly braided from off her forehead; her complexion was simply exquisite; her figure as robust as was consistent with the most perfect female beauty, yet not more so; her hands and feet might have served as models to a sculptor. Having set the stew upon the table, she retired with a glance of pity, whereon (remembering pity’s kinsman) I decided that she should pity me a little more. She returned with a bottle and a glass, and found me sitting on the bed with my hands over my face, looking the very picture of abject misery, and, like all pictures, rather untruthful. As I watched her, through my fingers, out of the room again, I felt sure that she was exceedingly sorry for me. Her back being turned, I set to work and ate my dinner, which was excellent.

I had held this opinion for barely four or five minutes when the door opened. A young woman appeared with a tray and a very appetizing smell of dinner. I gazed at her in admiration as she laid a tablecloth and set a savory-looking dish on the table. As I looked at her, I felt that my situation had already improved greatly. The very sight of her was a great comfort. She was no more than twenty, rather taller than average, active and strong, yet with very delicate features. Her lips were full and sweet, and her eyes were deep hazel, framed by long, curling lashes. Her hair was neatly braided back from her forehead, and her complexion was simply exquisite. Her figure was as robust as perfect female beauty allowed, but no more so. Her hands and feet could have served as models for a sculptor. After setting the stew on the table, she left, giving me a pitying glance. Remembering that pity is related to love, I decided that she should pity me a little more. She returned with a bottle and a glass. She found me sitting on the bed with my hands over my face, the very picture of utter misery. Like all pictures, I was not entirely truthful. I watched her through my fingers as she left the room again. I felt sure that she was exceedingly sorry for me. Once her back was turned, I set to work and ate my dinner, which was excellent.

She returned in about an hour to take away; and there came with her a man who had a great bunch of keys at his waist, and whose manner convinced me that he was the jailor. I afterwards found that he was father to the beautiful creature who had brought me my dinner. I am not a much greater hypocrite than other people, and do what I would, I could not look so very miserable. I had already recovered from my dejection, and felt in a most genial humour both with my jailor and his daughter. I thanked them for their attention towards me; and, though they could not understand, they looked at one another and laughed and chattered till the old man said something or other which I suppose was a joke; for the girl laughed merrily and ran away, leaving her father to take away the dinner things. Then I had another visitor, who was not so prepossessing, and who seemed to have a great idea of himself and a small one of me. He brought a book with him, and pens and paper—all very English; and yet, neither paper, nor printing, nor binding, nor pen, nor ink, were quite the same as ours.

She returned about an hour later to clear away the meal. A man came with her, carrying a large bunch of keys at his waist. His manner convinced me that he was the jailer. I later learned that he was the father of the beautiful creature who had brought me my dinner. I am not much more of a hypocrite than other people. Try as I might, I could not look very miserable. I had already recovered from my low spirits and felt very friendly toward both my jailer and his daughter. I thanked them for their attention to me. Though they could not understand me, they looked at each other, laughing and chattering. At last the old man said something that I suppose was a joke. The girl laughed merrily and ran away, leaving her father to clear away the dinner things. Then I had another visitor, who was less appealing. He seemed to think highly of himself and very little of me. He brought a book, pens, and paper, all very English. And yet the paper, printing, binding, pens, and ink were none of them quite the same as ours.

He gave me to understand that he was to teach me the language and that we were to begin at once. This delighted me, both because I should be more comfortable when I could understand and make myself understood, and because I supposed that the authorities would hardly teach me the language if they intended any cruel usage towards me afterwards. We began at once, and I learnt the names of everything in the room, and also the numerals and personal pronouns. I found to my sorrow that the resemblance to European things, which I had so frequently observed hitherto, did not hold good in the matter of language; for I could detect no analogy whatever between this and any tongue of which I have the slightest knowledge,—a thing which made me think it possible that I might be learning Hebrew.

He made it clear that he was going to teach me the language and that we would begin at once. This delighted me. I would be more comfortable once I could understand others and make myself understood. I also supposed the authorities would hardly teach me the language if they intended to treat me cruelly afterward. We began at once. I learned the names of everything in the room, as well as the numbers and personal pronouns. To my disappointment, I found that the language did not resemble European languages. Until then, I had often noticed similarities to European things. But I could find no similarity at all between this language and any language I knew even slightly. This made me think it possible that I was learning Hebrew.

I must detail no longer; from this time my days were spent with a monotony which would have been tedious but for the society of Yram, the jailor’s daughter, who had taken a great fancy for me and treated me with the utmost kindness. The man came every day to teach me the language, but my real dictionary and grammar were Yram; and I consulted them to such purpose that I made the most extraordinary progress, being able at the end of a month to understand a great deal of the conversation which I overheard between Yram and her father. My teacher professed himself well satisfied, and said he should make a favourable report of me to the authorities. I then questioned him as to what would probably be done with me. He told me that my arrival had caused great excitement throughout the country, and that I was to be detained a close prisoner until the receipt of advices from the Government. My having had a watch, he said, was the only damaging feature in the case. And then, in answer to my asking why this should be so, he gave me a long story of which with my imperfect knowledge of the language I could make nothing whatever, except that it was a very heinous offence, almost as bad (at least, so I thought I understood him) as having typhus fever. But he said he thought my light hair would save me.

I must not go on describing every detail. From then on, my days were monotonous. They would have been tedious without the company of Yram, the jailer’s daughter. She had taken a great liking to me and treated me with the greatest kindness. The man came every day to teach me the language, but Yram was my real dictionary and grammar book. I made such good use of her help that I made extraordinary progress. By the end of a month, I could understand much of the conversation I overheard between Yram and her father. My teacher said he was very satisfied and would give the authorities a favorable report about me. I then asked him what would probably happen to me. He told me that my arrival had caused great excitement throughout the country. I was to be held in close confinement until word arrived from the Government. He said that the only thing against me was that I had had a watch. When I asked why, he gave me a long explanation. With my imperfect knowledge of the language, I could make nothing of it. I understood only that having a watch was a very serious offense. At least, I thought he said it was almost as bad as having typhus fever. But he said he thought my light hair would save me.

I was allowed to walk in the garden; there was a high wall so that I managed to play a sort of hand fives, which prevented my feeling the bad effects of my confinement, though it was stupid work playing alone. In the course of time people from the town and neighbourhood began to pester the jailor to be allowed to see me, and on receiving handsome fees he let them do so. The people were good to me; almost too good, for they were inclined to make a lion of me, which I hated—at least the women were; only they had to beware of Yram, who was a young lady of a jealous temperament, and kept a sharp eye both on me and on my lady visitors. However, I felt so kindly towards her, and was so entirely dependent upon her for almost all that made my life a blessing and a comfort to me, that I took good care not to vex her, and we remained excellent friends. The men were far less inquisitive, and would not, I believe, have come near me of their own accord; but the women made them come as escorts. I was delighted with their handsome mien, and pleasant genial manners.

I was allowed to walk in the garden. It had a high wall, so I managed to play a kind of hand fives against it. This kept me from feeling the ill effects of being confined, though playing alone was dull. In time, people from the town and the surrounding area began pestering the jailer for permission to see me. He let them visit after they paid him generous fees. The people were good to me, almost too good. The women, at least, were inclined to treat me like a celebrity, which I hated. But they had to watch out for Yram. She was a jealous young woman and kept a close eye on both me and my female visitors. Still, I felt great affection for her. I also depended on her for almost everything that made my life happy and comfortable. So I took great care not to upset her, and we remained excellent friends. The men were far less curious. I believe they would not have come near me on their own, but the women made them come as escorts. I was delighted by the men’s handsome appearance and their pleasant, friendly manners.

My food was plain, but always varied and wholesome, and the good red wine was admirable. I had found a sort of wort in the garden, which I sweated in heaps and then dried, obtaining thus a substitute for tobacco; so that what with Yram, the language, visitors, fives in the garden, smoking, and bed, my time slipped by more rapidly and pleasantly than might have been expected. I also made myself a small flute; and being a tolerable player, amused myself at times with playing snatches from operas, and airs such as “O where and oh where,” and “Home, sweet home.” This was of great advantage to me, for the people of the country were ignorant of the diatonic scale and could hardly believe their ears on hearing some of our most common melodies. Often, too, they would make me sing; and I could at any time make Yram’s eyes swim with tears by singing “Wilkins and his Dinah,” “Billy Taylor,” “The Ratcatcher’s Daughter,” or as much of them as I could remember.

My food was plain, but always varied and healthy, and the good red wine was excellent. I found a kind of plant in the garden, which I left to ferment in heaps and then dried. It served as a substitute for tobacco. Between Yram, the language, visitors, playing fives in the garden, smoking, and sleeping, my time passed more quickly and pleasantly than one might have expected. I also made myself a small flute. I was a reasonably good player, and sometimes amused myself by playing snatches from operas and tunes like “O where and oh where” and “Home, sweet home.” This was a great advantage to me. The people of the country knew nothing of the diatonic scale and could hardly believe their ears when they heard some of our most common melodies. They often asked me to sing, too. I could make Yram’s eyes fill with tears whenever I sang “Wilkins and his Dinah,” “Billy Taylor,” or “The Ratcatcher’s Daughter,” or as much of them as I could remember.

I had one or two discussions with them because I never would sing on Sunday (of which I kept count in my pocket-book), except chants and hymn tunes; of these I regret to say that I had forgotten the words, so that I could only sing the tune. They appeared to have little or no religious feeling, and to have never so much as heard of the divine institution of the Sabbath, so they ascribed my observance of it to a fit of sulkiness, which they remarked as coming over me upon every seventh day. But they were very tolerant, and one of them said to me quite kindly that she knew how impossible it was to help being sulky at times, only she thought I ought to see some one if it became more serious—a piece of advice which I then failed to understand, though I pretended to take it quite as a matter of course.

I had one or two discussions with them because I refused to sing on Sundays, except for chants and hymns. I kept track of the days in my pocket notebook. I regret to say that I had forgotten the words to the chants and hymns, so I could only sing the tunes. They seemed to have little or no religious feeling and had apparently never even heard that God had established the Sabbath. So they put my observance down to a sulky mood that came over me every seventh day. But they were very tolerant. One of them kindly told me that she knew how impossible it was to avoid being sulky sometimes. She only thought I should see someone if it became more serious. I did not understand her advice at the time, though I pretended to take it as a matter of course.

Once only did Yram treat me in a way that was unkind and unreasonable,—at least so I thought it at the time. It happened thus. I had been playing fives in the garden and got much heated. Although the day was cold, for autumn was now advancing, and Cold Harbour (as the name of the town in which my prison was should be translated) stood fully 3000 feet above the sea, I had played without my coat and waistcoat, and took a sharp chill on resting myself too long in the open air without protection. The next day I had a severe cold and felt really poorly. Being little used even to the lightest ailments, and thinking that it would be rather nice to be petted and cossetted by Yram, I certainly did not make myself out to be any better than I was; in fact, I remember that I made the worst of things, and took it into my head to consider myself upon the sick list. When Yram brought me my breakfast I complained somewhat dolefully of my indisposition, expecting the sympathy and humouring which I should have received from my mother and sisters at home. Not a bit of it. She fired up in an instant, and asked me what I meant by it, and how I dared to presume to mention such a thing, especially when I considered in what place I was. She had the best mind to tell her father, only that she was afraid the consequences would be so very serious for me. Her manner was so injured and decided, and her anger so evidently unfeigned, that I forgot my cold upon the spot, begging her by all means to tell her father if she wished to do so, and telling her that I had no idea of being shielded by her from anything whatever; presently mollifying, after having said as many biting things as I could, I asked her what it was that I had done amiss, and promised amendment as soon as ever I became aware of it. She saw that I was really ignorant, and had had no intention of being rude to her; whereon it came out that illness of any sort was considered in Erewhon to be highly criminal and immoral; and that I was liable, even for catching cold, to be had up before the magistrates and imprisoned for a considerable period—an announcement which struck me dumb with astonishment.

Only once did Yram treat me unkindly and unreasonably, or at least I thought so at the time. It happened like this. I had been playing fives in the garden and had become very hot. The day was cold, since autumn was drawing on. Cold Harbour, as the name of the town where my prison stood should be translated, was fully 3,000 feet above sea level. Even so, I had played without my coat and waistcoat. Afterward, I stayed outside too long without them and caught a bad chill. The next day I had a severe cold and felt really ill. I was not used to even the mildest illnesses. I also thought it would be rather nice to be pampered and fussed over by Yram. So I certainly did not pretend to be any better than I was. In fact, I remember making the worst of things and deciding that I was ill. When Yram brought my breakfast, I complained rather sadly about how I felt. I expected the sympathy and indulgence my mother and sisters would have given me at home. Not a bit of it. She instantly became angry and asked what I meant by complaining. How dared I mention such a thing, especially when I knew where I was? She was very tempted to tell her father, but feared the consequences would be too serious for me. She seemed so offended and firm, and her anger was so obviously genuine, that I forgot my cold at once. I begged her to tell her father by all means if she wished. I told her I had no intention of letting her shield me from anything at all. After saying as many biting things as I could, I softened a little. I asked what I had done wrong and promised to mend my ways as soon as I knew. She saw that I truly did not know and had not meant to be rude to her. Then I learned that in Erewhon, illness of any kind was regarded as highly criminal and immoral. Even for catching a cold, I could be brought before the magistrates and imprisoned for a considerable time. This announcement left me speechless with astonishment.

I followed up the conversation as well as my imperfect knowledge of the language would allow, and caught a glimmering of her position with regard to ill-health; but I did not even then fully comprehend it, nor had I as yet any idea of the other extraordinary perversions of thought which existed among the Erewhonians, but with which I was soon to become familiar. I propose, therefore, to make no mention of what passed between us on this occasion, save that we were reconciled, and that she brought me surreptitiously a hot glass of spirits and water before I went to bed, as also a pile of extra blankets, and that next morning I was quite well. I never remember to have lost a cold so rapidly.

I continued the conversation as best I could with my limited knowledge of the language. I began to glimpse her views on ill health, but I still did not fully understand them. Nor did I yet know about the other extraordinary distortions of thought among the Erewhonians. I was soon to become familiar with them. So I will not describe what passed between us on this occasion, except to say that we made peace. Before I went to bed, she secretly brought me a hot glass of spirits and water and a pile of extra blankets. The next morning I was quite well. I cannot remember ever losing a cold so quickly.

This little affair explained much which had hitherto puzzled me. It seemed that the two men who were examined before the magistrates on the day of my arrival in the country, had been given in charge on account of ill health, and were both condemned to a long term of imprisonment with hard labour; they were now expiating their offence in this very prison, and their exercise ground was a yard separated by my fives wall from the garden in which I walked. This accounted for the sounds of coughing and groaning which I had often noticed as coming from the other side of the wall: it was high, and I had not dared to climb it for fear the jailor should see me and think that I was trying to escape; but I had often wondered what sort of people they could be on the other side, and had resolved on asking the jailor; but I seldom saw him, and Yram and I generally found other things to talk about.

This little incident explained much that had puzzled me until then. The two men examined before the magistrates on the day I arrived had apparently been arrested for being in poor health. Both had been sentenced to long prison terms with hard labor. They were now paying for their offense in this very prison. Their exercise yard was separated from the garden where I walked by the wall I used for fives. That explained the coughing and groaning I had often heard from the other side. The wall was high, and I had not dared to climb it. I was afraid the jailer might see me and think I was trying to escape. But I had often wondered what sort of people were on the other side. I had decided to ask the jailer, but I rarely saw him. Yram and I generally found other things to talk about.

Another month flew by, during which I made such progress in the language that I could understand all that was said to me, and express myself with tolerable fluency. My instructor professed to be astonished with the progress I had made; I was careful to attribute it to the pains he had taken with me and to his admirable method of explaining my difficulties, so we became excellent friends.

Another month flew by. During that time, I learned enough of the language to understand everything said to me. I could also express myself reasonably fluently. My teacher said he was astonished by my progress. I made sure to credit his hard work and his excellent way of explaining things I found difficult. So we became excellent friends.

My visitors became more and more frequent. Among them there were some, both men and women, who delighted me entirely by their simplicity, unconsciousness of self, kindly genial manners, and last, but not least, by their exquisite beauty; there came others less well-bred, but still comely and agreeable people, while some were snobs pure and simple.

My visitors came more and more often. Some, both men and women, delighted me completely. I loved their simplicity, lack of self-consciousness, and warm, friendly manners. And, not least, I loved their exquisite beauty. Others were less refined, but still attractive and pleasant, while some were simply snobs.

At the end of the third month the jailor and my instructor came together to visit me and told me that communications had been received from the Government to the effect that if I had behaved well and seemed generally reasonable, and if there could be no suspicion at all about my bodily health and vigour, and if my hair was really light, and my eyes blue and complexion fresh, I was to be sent up at once to the metropolis in order that the King and Queen might see me and converse with me; but that when I arrived there I should be set at liberty, and a suitable allowance would be made me. My teacher also told me that one of the leading merchants had sent me an invitation to repair to his house and to consider myself his guest for as long a time as I chose. “He is a delightful man,” continued the interpreter, “but has suffered terribly from” (here there came a long word which I could not quite catch, only it was much longer than kleptomania), “and has but lately recovered from embezzling a large sum of money under singularly distressing circumstances; but he has quite got over it, and the straighteners say that he has made a really wonderful recovery; you are sure to like him.”

At the end of the third month, the jailer and my teacher came to visit me together. They told me that the Government had sent instructions about me. If I had behaved well and seemed generally reasonable, I was to be sent to the capital at once. There also had to be no doubt at all about my physical health and strength. My hair had to be truly light, my eyes blue, and my complexion fresh. The King and Queen wanted to see me and talk with me. But when I arrived, I would be set free and given a suitable allowance. My teacher also told me that a leading merchant had invited me to his house. He wanted me to be his guest for as long as I chose. “He is a delightful man,” the interpreter continued, “but has suffered terribly from” (here he used a long word I could not quite catch, though it was much longer than kleptomania). “He has only recently recovered from embezzling a large sum of money under unusually distressing circumstances. But he has completely recovered now, and the straighteners say his recovery has been truly wonderful. You are sure to like him.”