"I ask your pardon once more," said Candide to the Baron, "your pardon, reverend father, for having run you through the body."
"I beg your pardon again," said Candide to the Baron. "Forgive me, reverend father, for having stabbed you."
"Say no more about it," answered the Baron. "I was a little too hasty, I own, but since you wish to know by what fatality I came to be a galley-slave I will inform you. After I had been cured by the surgeon of the college of the wound you gave me, I was attacked and carried off by a party of Spanish troops, who confined me in prison at Buenos Ayres at the very time my sister was setting out thence. I asked leave to return to Rome to the General of my Order. I was appointed chaplain to the French Ambassador at Constantinople. I had not been eight days in this employment when one evening I met with a young Ichoglan, who was a very handsome fellow. The weather was warm. The young man wanted to bathe, and I took this opportunity of bathing also. I did not know that it was a capital crime for a Christian to be found naked with a young Mussulman. A cadi ordered me a hundred blows on the soles of the feet, and condemned me to the galleys. I do not think there ever was a greater act of injustice. But I should be glad to know how my sister came to be scullion to a Transylvanian prince who has taken shelter among the Turks."
"Say no more about it," answered the Baron. "I was a little too hasty, I admit. Since you want to know how I became a galley slave, I will tell you. After the college surgeon treated the wound you gave me, a party of Spanish soldiers attacked and carried me off. They put me in prison at Buenos Aires. This happened just as my sister was leaving. I asked the General of my Order for permission to return to Rome. I was then appointed chaplain to the French ambassador in Constantinople. I had not been in that post eight days when, one evening, I met a young Ichoglan, a very handsome fellow. The weather was warm. The young man wanted to bathe, so I took the opportunity to bathe too. I did not know it was a capital crime for a Christian to be found naked with a young Muslim. A cadi ordered a hundred blows on the soles of my feet and condemned me to the galleys. I do not think there was ever a greater injustice. But I should like to know how my sister came to be a scullion for a Transylvanian prince who has taken refuge among the Turks."
"But you, my dear Pangloss," said Candide, "how can it be that I behold you again?"
"But you, my dear Pangloss," said Candide, "how can it be that I see you again?"
"It is true," said Pangloss, "that you saw me hanged. I should have been burnt, but you may remember it rained exceedingly hard when they were going to roast me; the storm was so violent that they despaired of lighting the fire, so I was hanged because they could do no better. A surgeon purchased my body, carried me home, and dissected me. He began with making a crucial incision on me from the navel to the clavicula. One could not have been worse hanged than I was. The executioner of the Holy Inquisition was a sub-deacon, and knew how to burn people marvellously well, but he was not accustomed to hanging. The cord was wet and did not slip properly, and besides it was badly tied; in short, I still drew my breath, when the crucial incision made me give such a frightful scream that my surgeon fell flat upon his back, and imagining that he had been dissecting the devil he ran away, dying with fear, and fell down the staircase in his flight. His wife, hearing the noise, flew from the next room. She saw me stretched out upon the table with my crucial incision. She was seized with yet greater fear than her husband, fled, and tumbled over him. When they came to themselves a little, I heard the wife say to her husband: 'My dear, how could you take it into your head to dissect a heretic? Do you not know that these people always have the devil in their bodies? I will go and fetch a priest this minute to exorcise him.' At this proposal I shuddered, and mustering up what little courage I had still remaining I cried out aloud, 'Have mercy on me!' At length the Portuguese barber plucked up his spirits. He sewed up my wounds; his wife even nursed me. I was upon my legs at the end of fifteen days. The barber found me a place as lackey to a knight of Malta who was going to Venice, but finding that my master had no money to pay me my wages I entered the service of a Venetian merchant, and went with him to Constantinople. One day I took it into my head to step into a mosque, where I saw an old Iman and a very pretty young devotee who was saying her paternosters. Her bosom was uncovered, and between her breasts she had a beautiful bouquet of tulips, roses, anemones, ranunculus, hyacinths, and auriculas. She dropped her bouquet; I picked it up, and presented it to her with a profound reverence. I was so long in delivering it that the Iman began to get angry, and seeing that I was a Christian he called out for help. They carried me before the cadi, who ordered me a hundred lashes on the soles of the feet and sent me to the galleys. I was chained to the very same galley and the same bench as the young Baron. On board this galley there were four young men from Marseilles, five Neapolitan priests, and two monks from Corfu, who told us similar adventures happened daily. The Baron maintained that he had suffered greater injustice than I, and I insisted that it was far more innocent to take up a bouquet and place it again on a woman's bosom than to be found stark naked with an Ichoglan. We were continually disputing, and received twenty lashes with a bull's pizzle when the concatenation of universal events brought you to our galley, and you were good enough to ransom us."
"It is true," said Pangloss, "that you saw me hanged. I ought to have been burned. But you may remember that it rained extremely hard when they were going to roast me. The storm was so violent that they gave up hope of lighting the fire. So I was hanged, because they could do no better. A surgeon bought my body, carried me home, and dissected me. He began by making a cross-shaped incision on me from the navel to the collarbone. No one could have been worse hanged than I was. The executioner of the Holy Inquisition was a sub-deacon. He knew how to burn people marvelously well, but he was not used to hanging. The cord was wet and did not slip properly, and besides, it was badly tied. In short, I was still breathing when the cross-shaped incision made me give such a frightful scream that my surgeon fell flat on his back. Imagining that he had been dissecting the devil, he ran away, dying of fear, and fell down the staircase as he fled. His wife heard the noise and flew in from the next room. She saw me stretched out on the table with my cross-shaped incision. She was seized with even greater fear than her husband, fled, and tumbled over him. When they had come to themselves a little, I heard the wife say to her husband, 'My dear, how could you take it into your head to dissect a heretic? Do you not know that these people always have the devil in their bodies? I will go and fetch a priest this minute to exorcise him.' At this proposal I shuddered. Mustering what little courage I had left, I cried out aloud, 'Have mercy on me!' At length the Portuguese barber plucked up his spirits. He sewed up my wounds, and his wife even nursed me. I was on my feet at the end of fifteen days. The barber found me a place as lackey to a Knight of Malta who was going to Venice. But my master had no money to pay my wages, so I entered the service of a Venetian merchant and went with him to Constantinople. One day I took it into my head to step into a mosque. There I saw an old imam and a very pretty young worshipper who was saying her paternosters. Her bosom was uncovered, and between her breasts she had a beautiful bouquet of tulips, roses, anemones, ranunculus, hyacinths, and auriculas. She dropped her bouquet. I picked it up and presented it to her with a deep bow. I took so long delivering it that the imam began to get angry. Seeing that I was a Christian, he called out for help. They carried me before the cadi, who ordered me a hundred lashes on the soles of the feet and sent me to the galleys. I was chained in the very same galley and on the same bench as the young Baron. On board this galley there were four young men from Marseilles, five Neapolitan priests, and two monks from Corfu, who told us that similar adventures happened every day. The Baron maintained that he had suffered a greater injustice than I had. I insisted that it was far more innocent to pick up a bouquet and put it back on a woman's bosom than to be found stark naked with an Ichoglan. We were always arguing, and we were getting twenty lashes with a bull's pizzle when the concatenation of universal events brought you to our galley, and you were good enough to ransom us."
"Well, my dear Pangloss," said Candide to him, "when you had been hanged, dissected, whipped, and were tugging at the oar, did you always think that everything happens for the best?"
"Well, my dear Pangloss," said Candide to him. "When you were hanged, dissected, and whipped. When you were forced to row. Did you always think that everything happens for the best?"
"I am still of my first opinion," answered Pangloss, "for I am a philosopher and I cannot retract, especially as Leibnitz could never be wrong; and besides, the pre-established harmony is the finest thing in the world, and so is his plenum and materia subtilis."
"I still hold my original opinion," answered Pangloss. "I am a philosopher and I cannot retract. Leibniz could never be wrong. Besides, the pre-established harmony is the finest thing in the world, and so are his plenum and materia subtilis."