Candide and his valet had got beyond the barrier, before it was known in the camp that the German Jesuit was dead. The wary Cacambo had taken care to fill his wallet with bread, chocolate, bacon, fruit, and a few bottles of wine. With their Andalusian horses they penetrated into an unknown country, where they perceived no beaten track. At length they came to a beautiful meadow intersected with purling rills. Here our two adventurers fed their horses. Cacambo proposed to his master to take some food, and he set him an example.
Candide and his valet had crossed the barrier before the camp learned that the German Jesuit was dead. The careful Cacambo had filled his wallet with bread, chocolate, bacon, fruit, and a few bottles of wine. They rode their Andalusian horses into an unknown region. They saw no beaten path. After a while they reached a beautiful meadow crossed by small, babbling streams. Here our two adventurers fed their horses. Cacambo suggested that his master eat. He set an example by taking some food himself.
"How can you ask me to eat ham," said Candide, "after killing the Baron's son, and being doomed never more to see the beautiful Cunegonde? What will it avail me to spin out my wretched days and drag them far from her in remorse and despair? And what will the Journal of Trevoux say?"
"How can you ask me to eat ham?" said Candide. "I killed the Baron's son, and I am doomed never to see the beautiful Cunegonde again. What good will it do me to stretch out my wretched days? To drag them away from her in remorse and despair? And what will the Journal of Trevoux say?"
By the Journal of Trevoux Voltaire meant a critical periodical printed by the Jesuits at Trevoux under the title of Mémoires pour servir à l'Historie des Sciences et des Beaux-Arts. It existed from 1701 until 1767, during which period its title underwent many changes.
While he was thus lamenting his fate, he went on eating. The sun went down. The two wanderers heard some little cries which seemed to be uttered by women. They did not know whether they were cries of pain or joy; but they started up precipitately with that inquietude and alarm which every little thing inspires in an unknown country. The noise was made by two naked girls, who tripped along the mead, while two monkeys were pursuing them and biting their buttocks. Candide was moved with pity; he had learned to fire a gun in the Bulgarian service, and he was so clever at it, that he could hit a filbert in a hedge without touching a leaf of the tree. He took up his double-barrelled Spanish fusil, let it off, and killed the two monkeys.
He kept eating while he mourned his fate. The sun went down. The two wanderers heard small cries that sounded like women's voices. They did not know if the cries were of pain or joy. They jumped up quickly. They felt the unease and alarm every small sound causes in a strange country. The noise came from two naked girls running across the meadow. Two monkeys were chasing them and biting their bottoms. Candide felt pity. He had learned to shoot in the Bulgarian army. He was so skilled he could hit a hazelnut in a hedge without touching a single leaf. He picked up his double-barreled Spanish fusil, fired it, and killed the two monkeys.
"God be praised! My dear Cacambo, I have rescued those two poor creatures from a most perilous situation. If I have committed a sin in killing an Inquisitor and a Jesuit, I have made ample amends by saving the lives of these girls. Perhaps they are young ladies of family; and this adventure may procure us great advantages in this country."
"Thank God! My dear Cacambo, I have rescued those two poor creatures from a very dangerous situation. If I sinned by killing an Inquisitor and a Jesuit, I have more than made amends. I saved the lives of those girls. Perhaps they are young women from good families. This adventure may bring us great advantages in this country."
He was continuing, but stopped short when he saw the two girls tenderly embracing the monkeys, bathing their bodies in tears, and rending the air with the most dismal lamentations.
He started to speak, but stopped when he saw the two girls tenderly holding the monkeys close. They were bathing the animals' bodies in tears and filling the air with the most dismal lamentations.
"Little did I expect to see such good-nature," said he at length to Cacambo; who made answer:
"I did not expect to see such good nature," he said at last to Cacambo. Cacambo answered:
"Master, you have done a fine thing now; you have slain the sweethearts of those two young ladies."
"Master, you've done a fine thing now. You have killed the sweethearts of those two young ladies."
"The sweethearts! Is it possible? You are jesting, Cacambo, I can never believe it!"
"The sweethearts! Is that possible? You're joking, Cacambo. I can never believe it!"
"Dear master," replied Cacambo; "you are surprised at everything. Why should you think it so strange that in some countries there are monkeys which insinuate themselves into the good graces of the ladies; they are a fourth part human, as I am a fourth part Spaniard."
"Dear master," replied Cacambo. "You are surprised by everything. Why do you find it so strange that in some countries monkeys win the ladies' favor? They are a quarter human, just as I am a quarter Spaniard."
"Alas!" replied Candide, "I remember to have heard Master Pangloss say, that formerly such accidents used to happen; that these mixtures were productive of Centaurs, Fauns, and Satyrs; and that many of the ancients had seen such monsters, but I looked upon the whole as fabulous."
"Alas!" Candide replied. "I remember hearing Master Pangloss say that such accidents happened before. He said those combinations produced Centaurs, Fauns, and Satyrs. He said many ancient people had seen such monsters. But I thought the whole story was fictional."
"You ought now to be convinced," said Cacambo, "that it is the truth, and you see what use is made of those creatures, by persons that have not had a proper education; all I fear is that those ladies will play us some ugly trick."
"You should be convinced now," said Cacambo. "It is the truth. You can see how those creatures are used by people who did not receive a proper education. My only fear is that those ladies will play an ugly trick on us."
These sound reflections induced Candide to leave the meadow and to plunge into a wood. He supped there with Cacambo; and after cursing the Portuguese inquisitor, the Governor of Buenos Ayres, and the Baron, they fell asleep on moss. On awaking they felt that they could not move; for during the night the Oreillons, who inhabited that country, and to whom the ladies had denounced them, had bound them with cords made of the bark of trees. They were encompassed by fifty naked Oreillons, armed with bows and arrows, with clubs and flint hatchets. Some were making a large cauldron boil, others were preparing spits, and all cried:
These sound reflections led Candide to leave the meadow and plunge into a wood. He had supper there with Cacambo. After cursing the Portuguese inquisitor, the Governor of Buenos Ayres, and the Baron, they fell asleep on moss. When they woke, they found they could not move. During the night the Oreillons, who lived in that country and to whom the ladies had denounced them, had tied them up with cords made of tree bark. They were surrounded by fifty naked Oreillons, armed with bows and arrows, clubs, and flint hatchets. Some were making a large cauldron boil, others were preparing spits, and all cried:
"A Jesuit! a Jesuit! we shall be revenged, we shall have excellent cheer, let us eat the Jesuit, let us eat him up!"
"A Jesuit! A Jesuit! We'll have our revenge. We'll have a fine meal. Let's eat the Jesuit. Let's eat him up!"
"I told you, my dear master," cried Cacambo sadly, "that those two girls would play us some ugly trick."
"I told you, my dear master," Cacambo cried sadly. "Those two girls would play an ugly trick on us."
Candide seeing the cauldron and the spits, cried:
Candide saw the cauldron and the spits. He cried:
"We are certainly going to be either roasted or boiled. Ah! what would Master Pangloss say, were he to see how pure nature is formed? Everything is right, may be, but I declare it is very hard to have lost Miss Cunegonde and to be put upon a spit by Oreillons."
"We are certainly going to be either roasted or boiled. Ah! What would Master Pangloss say if he saw how pure nature is made? Everything may be right, but I declare it is very hard to have lost Miss Cunegonde and to be put on a spit by Oreillons."
Cacambo never lost his head.
Cacambo never panicked.
"Do not despair," said he to the disconsolate Candide, "I understand a little of the jargon of these people, I will speak to them."
"Don't despair," he said to the distraught Candide. "I know a little of their language. I'll speak to them."
"Be sure," said Candide, "to represent to them how frightfully inhuman it is to cook men, and how very un-Christian."
"Be sure," said Candide. "Show them how horribly inhuman it is to cook people. Tell them how deeply un-Christian that is."
"Gentlemen," said Cacambo, "you reckon you are to-day going to feast upon a Jesuit. It is all very well, nothing is more unjust than thus to treat your enemies. Indeed, the law of nature teaches us to kill our neighbour, and such is the practice all over the world. If we do not accustom ourselves to eating them, it is because we have better fare. But you have not the same resources as we; certainly it is much better to devour your enemies than to resign to the crows and rooks the fruits of your victory. But, gentlemen, surely you would not choose to eat your friends. You believe that you are going to spit a Jesuit, and he is your defender. It is the enemy of your enemies that you are going to roast. As for myself, I was born in your country; this gentleman is my master, and, far from being a Jesuit, he has just killed one, whose spoils he wears; and thence comes your mistake. To convince you of the truth of what I say, take his habit and carry it to the first barrier of the Jesuit kingdom, and inform yourselves whether my master did not kill a Jesuit officer. It will not take you long, and you can always eat us if you find that I have lied to you. But I have told you the truth. You are too well acquainted with the principles of public law, humanity, and justice not to pardon us."
"Gentlemen," said Cacambo, "you reckon you are going to feast on a Jesuit today. That is all very well. Nothing is more unjust than to treat your enemies this way. Indeed, the law of nature teaches us to kill our neighbor, and that is the practice all over the world. If we do not make a habit of eating them, it is because we have better food. But you do not have the same resources as we do. Certainly it is much better to devour your enemies than to leave the fruits of your victory to the crows and rooks. But, gentlemen, surely you would not choose to eat your friends. You believe you are going to put a Jesuit on the spit, and he is your defender. It is the enemy of your enemies that you are going to roast. As for me, I was born in your country. This gentleman is my master. Far from being a Jesuit, he has just killed one, and he is wearing his spoils. That is the source of your mistake. To prove that what I say is true, take his habit to the first barrier of the Jesuit kingdom. Find out there whether my master did not kill a Jesuit officer. It will not take you long, and you can always eat us if you find that I have lied to you. But I have told you the truth. You know the principles of public law, humanity, and justice too well not to pardon us."
The Oreillons found this speech very reasonable. They deputed two of their principal people with all expedition to inquire into the truth of the matter; these executed their commission like men of sense, and soon returned with good news. The Oreillons untied their prisoners, showed them all sorts of civilities, offered them girls, gave them refreshment, and reconducted them to the confines of their territories, proclaiming with great joy:
The Oreillons found this speech very reasonable. They quickly sent two of their leading men to find out the truth. The men did their job sensibly and soon returned with good news. The Oreillons untied the prisoners and treated them with every courtesy. They offered them girls and gave them food and drink. They escorted them back to the edge of their territory, shouting with great joy:
"He is no Jesuit! He is no Jesuit!"
"He's not a Jesuit! He's not a Jesuit!"
Candide could not help being surprised at the cause of his deliverance.
Candide could not help being surprised at why he had been saved.
"What people!" said he; "what men! what manners! If I had not been so lucky as to run Miss Cunegonde's brother through the body, I should have been devoured without redemption. But, after all, pure nature is good, since these people, instead of feasting upon my flesh, have shown me a thousand civilities, when then I was not a Jesuit."
"What people!" he said. "What men! What manners! If I had not been lucky enough to run Miss Cunegonde's brother through the body, I would have been devoured past all saving. But, after all, pure nature is good. For these people, instead of feasting on my flesh, showed me a thousand courtesies as soon as they knew I was not a Jesuit."