Our travellers spent the first day very agreeably. They were delighted with possessing more treasure than all Asia, Europe, and Africa could scrape together. Candide, in his raptures, cut Cunegonde's name on the trees. The second day two of their sheep plunged into a morass, where they and their burdens were lost; two more died of fatigue a few days after; seven or eight perished with hunger in a desert; and others subsequently fell down precipices. At length, after travelling a hundred days, only two sheep remained. Said Candide to Cacambo:
Our travellers enjoyed the first day. They were thrilled to have more treasure than all of Asia, Europe, and Africa could scrape together. Caught up in his excitement, Candide carved Cunegonde's name on the trees. On the second day, two of their sheep plunged into a swamp and were lost along with their loads. Two more died of exhaustion a few days later. Seven or eight starved to death in a desert. Others later fell down cliffs. At last, after a hundred days of travel, only two sheep remained. Candide said to Cacambo:
"My friend, you see how perishable are the riches of this world; there is nothing solid but virtue, and the happiness of seeing Cunegonde once more."
"My friend, you can see how fleeting the world's riches are. Nothing is solid except virtue and the joy of seeing Cunegonde again."
"I grant all you say," said Cacambo, "but we have still two sheep remaining, with more treasure than the King of Spain will ever have; and I see a town which I take to be Surinam, belonging to the Dutch. We are at the end of all our troubles, and at the beginning of happiness."
"I admit everything you say," said Cacambo, "but we still have two sheep left. We have more treasure than the King of Spain will ever have. I see a town I think is Surinam, and it belongs to the Dutch. We are at the end of all our troubles and at the beginning of happiness."
As they drew near the town, they saw a negro stretched upon the ground, with only one moiety of his clothes, that is, of his blue linen drawers; the poor man had lost his left leg and his right hand.
As they approached the town, they saw a Black man lying on the ground. He wore only half of his clothes, that is, only his blue linen drawers. The poor man had lost his left leg and his right hand.
"Good God!" said Candide in Dutch, "what art thou doing there, friend, in that shocking condition?"
"Good God!" said Candide in Dutch. "What are you doing there, friend, in that shocking condition?"
"I am waiting for my master, Mynheer Vanderdendur, the famous merchant," answered the negro.
"I'm waiting for my master, Mynheer Vanderdendur, the famous merchant," the black man answered.
"Was it Mynheer Vanderdendur," said Candide, "that treated thee thus?"
"Was it Mr. Vanderdendur who treated you like that?" said Candide.
"Yes, sir," said the negro, "it is the custom. They give us a pair of linen drawers for our whole garment twice a year. When we work at the sugar-canes, and the mill snatches hold of a finger, they cut off the hand; and when we attempt to run away, they cut off the leg; both cases have happened to me. This is the price at which you eat sugar in Europe. Yet when my mother sold me for ten patagons on the coast of Guinea, she said to me: 'My dear child, bless our fetiches, adore them for ever; they will make thee live happily; thou hast the honour of being the slave of our lords, the whites, which is making the fortune of thy father and mother.' Alas! I know not whether I have made their fortunes; this I know, that they have not made mine. Dogs, monkeys, and parrots are a thousand times less wretched than I. The Dutch fetiches, who have converted me, declare every Sunday that we are all of us children of Adam—blacks as well as whites. I am not a genealogist, but if these preachers tell truth, we are all second cousins. Now, you must agree, that it is impossible to treat one's relations in a more barbarous manner."
"Yes, sir," said the Black man, "it is the custom. They give us a pair of linen drawers as our only clothing twice a year. When we work the sugar cane and the mill catches a finger, they cut off the hand. When we try to run away, they cut off the leg. Both have happened to me. This is the price at which you eat sugar in Europe. Yet when my mother sold me for ten patagons on the coast of Guinea, she said to me, 'My dear child, bless our fetishes, adore them forever. They will make you live happily. You have the honor of being the slave of our lords, the whites. This will make the fortune of your father and mother.' Alas! I do not know whether I have made their fortunes. I know one thing. They have not made mine. Dogs, monkeys, and parrots are a thousand times less wretched than I. The Dutch fetishes, who converted me, declare every Sunday that we are all children of Adam, blacks as well as whites. I am not a genealogist. But if these preachers tell the truth, we are all second cousins. Now you must agree that it is impossible to treat one's relations in a more barbarous manner."
Spanish half-crowns.
"Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide, "thou hadst not guessed at this abomination; it is the end. I must at last renounce thy optimism."
"Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide. "You could not have imagined this abomination. It is the end. I must finally give up your optimism."
"What is this optimism?" said Cacambo.
"What's this optimism?" said Cacambo.
"Alas!" said Candide, "it is the madness of maintaining that everything is right when it is wrong."
"Alas!" said Candide, "it is the madness of insisting that everything is right when it is wrong."
Looking at the negro, he shed tears, and weeping, he entered Surinam.
He looked at the Black man and began to cry. Weeping, he entered Suriname.
The first thing they inquired after was whether there was a vessel in the harbour which could be sent to Buenos Ayres. The person to whom they applied was a Spanish sea-captain, who offered to agree with them upon reasonable terms. He appointed to meet them at a public-house, whither Candide and the faithful Cacambo went with their two sheep, and awaited his coming.
They first asked if any ship in the harbor could be sent to Buenos Aires. They spoke to a Spanish sea captain, who said he would make a deal with them on reasonable terms. He arranged to meet them at an inn. Candide and the faithful Cacambo went there with their two sheep and waited for him.
Candide, who had his heart upon his lips, told the Spaniard all his adventures, and avowed that he intended to elope with Miss Cunegonde.
Candide, who spoke from the heart, told the Spaniard about all his adventures. He also said he planned to elope with Miss Cunegonde.
"Then I will take good care not to carry you to Buenos Ayres," said the seaman. "I should be hanged, and so would you. The fair Cunegonde is my lord's favourite mistress."
"Then I will take good care not to carry you to Buenos Aires," said the sailor. "I would be hanged, and so would you. The fair Cunegonde is my lord's favorite mistress."
This was a thunderclap for Candide: he wept for a long while. At last he drew Cacambo aside.
It hit Candide like a thunderclap. He wept for a long time. Finally, he took Cacambo aside.
"Here, my dear friend," said he to him, "this thou must do. We have, each of us in his pocket, five or six millions in diamonds; you are more clever than I; you must go and bring Miss Cunegonde from Buenos Ayres. If the Governor makes any difficulty, give him a million; if he will not relinquish her, give him two; as you have not killed an Inquisitor, they will have no suspicion of you; I'll get another ship, and go and wait for you at Venice; that's a free country, where there is no danger either from Bulgarians, Abares, Jews, or Inquisitors."
"Here, my dear friend," he said, "you must do this. Each of us has five or six million in diamonds in his pocket. You are more clever than I am. You must go to Buenos Aires and bring Miss Cunegonde. If the governor makes any difficulty, give him a million. If he will not give her up, give him two. Because you have not killed an Inquisitor, they will not suspect you. I will get another ship and go wait for you in Venice. Venice is a free country where there is no danger from Bulgarians, Abares, Jews, or Inquisitors."
Cacambo applauded this wise resolution. He despaired at parting from so good a master, who had become his intimate friend; but the pleasure of serving him prevailed over the pain of leaving him. They embraced with tears; Candide charged him not to forget the good old woman. Cacambo set out that very same day. This Cacambo was a very honest fellow.
Cacambo praised this wise decision. He felt despair at leaving such a good master who had become his close friend. But his pleasure in serving him outweighed the pain of leaving. They embraced with tears. Candide urged him not to forget the good old woman. Cacambo set out that very day. This Cacambo was a very honest fellow.
Candide stayed some time longer in Surinam, waiting for another captain to carry him and the two remaining sheep to Italy. After he had hired domestics, and purchased everything necessary for a long voyage, Mynheer Vanderdendur, captain of a large vessel, came and offered his services.
Candide stayed in Surinam a while longer. He waited for a captain to carry him and the two remaining sheep to Italy. He hired servants and bought everything needed for a long voyage. Then Mynheer Vanderdendur, captain of a large ship, arrived and offered his services.
"How much will you charge," said he to this man, "to carry me straight to Venice—me, my servants, my baggage, and these two sheep?"
"How much will you charge," he asked the man, "to take me straight to Venice? I mean me, my servants, my baggage, and these two sheep."
The skipper asked ten thousand piastres. Candide did not hesitate.
The skipper asked for ten thousand piastres. Candide did not hesitate.
"Oh! oh!" said the prudent Vanderdendur to himself, "this stranger gives ten thousand piastres unhesitatingly! He must be very rich."
"Oh! oh!" said the cautious Vanderdendur to himself. "This stranger offered ten thousand piastres without hesitation. He must be very rich."
Returning a little while after, he let him know that upon second consideration, he could not undertake the voyage for less than twenty thousand piastres.
A little while later he returned. He told him that after further thought he could not do the voyage for less than twenty thousand piastres.
"Well, you shall have them," said Candide.
"Okay, you'll have them," said Candide.
"Ay!" said the skipper to himself, "this man agrees to pay twenty thousand piastres with as much ease as ten."
"Ah!" the skipper said to himself. "This man agrees to pay twenty thousand piastres as easily as ten."
He went back to him again, and declared that he could not carry him to Venice for less than thirty thousand piastres.
He returned to him. He said he could not take him to Venice for less than thirty thousand piastres.
"Then you shall have thirty thousand," replied Candide.
"Then you will have thirty thousand," Candide replied.
"Oh! oh!" said the Dutch skipper once more to himself, "thirty thousand piastres are a trifle to this man; surely these sheep must be laden with an immense treasure; let us say no more about it. First of all, let him pay down the thirty thousand piastres; then we shall see."
"Oh! oh!" said the Dutch skipper to himself again, "thirty thousand piastres are nothing to this man. Surely those sheep must be carrying an enormous treasure. Let's say no more about it. First, let him pay the thirty thousand piastres. Then we will see."
Candide sold two small diamonds, the least of which was worth more than what the skipper asked for his freight. He paid him in advance. The two sheep were put on board. Candide followed in a little boat to join the vessel in the roads. The skipper seized his opportunity, set sail, and put out to sea, the wind favouring him. Candide, dismayed and stupefied, soon lost sight of the vessel.
Candide sold two small diamonds. The smaller one was worth more than the skipper had asked for his freight. Candide paid the skipper in advance. They loaded the two sheep onto the ship. Candide followed in a small boat to reach the ship at anchor. The skipper seized his chance. He set sail and headed out to sea, with the wind favoring him. Candide was dismayed and stunned. He soon lost sight of the ship.
"Alas!" said he, "this is a trick worthy of the old world!"
"Oh no," he said. "This is a trick fit for the Old World!"
He put back, overwhelmed with sorrow, for indeed he had lost sufficient to make the fortune of twenty monarchs. He waited upon the Dutch magistrate, and in his distress he knocked over loudly at the door. He entered and told his adventure, raising his voice with unnecessary vehemence. The magistrate began by fining him ten thousand piastres for making a noise; then he listened patiently, promised to examine into his affair at the skipper's return, and ordered him to pay ten thousand piastres for the expense of the hearing.
He returned overwhelmed with sorrow. He had lost enough to make the fortune of twenty monarchs. He went to see the Dutch magistrate. In his distress, he knocked loudly at the door. He went in and told his story. He raised his voice with unnecessary force. The magistrate began by fining him ten thousand piastres for making a noise. Then he listened patiently. He promised to look into the case when the skipper returned. He also ordered him to pay ten thousand piastres for the cost of the hearing.
This drove Candide to despair; he had, indeed, endured misfortunes a thousand times worse; the coolness of the magistrate and of the skipper who had robbed him, roused his choler and flung him into a deep melancholy. The villainy of mankind presented itself before his imagination in all its deformity, and his mind was filled with gloomy ideas. At length hearing that a French vessel was ready to set sail for Bordeaux, as he had no sheep laden with diamonds to take along with him he hired a cabin at the usual price. He made it known in the town that he would pay the passage and board and give two thousand piastres to any honest man who would make the voyage with him, upon condition that this man was the most dissatisfied with his state, and the most unfortunate in the whole province.
This drove Candide to despair. He had, in fact, suffered misfortunes a thousand times worse. Still, the magistrate’s coldness and the skipper who had robbed him stirred his anger and threw him into deep melancholy. The wickedness of mankind rose before his imagination in all its ugliness. His mind filled with dark thoughts. At length he heard a French ship was ready to sail for Bordeaux. Since he had no sheep laden with diamonds to take with him, he hired a cabin at the usual price. He announced in town that he would pay passage and board, and that he would give two thousand piastres to any honest man who would make the voyage with him. The only condition was that the man be the most dissatisfied with his lot and the most unfortunate in the whole province.
Such a crowd of candidates presented themselves that a fleet of ships could hardly have held them. Candide being desirous of selecting from among the best, marked out about one-twentieth of them who seemed to be sociable men, and who all pretended to merit his preference. He assembled them at his inn, and gave them a supper on condition that each took an oath to relate his history faithfully, promising to choose him who appeared to be most justly discontented with his state, and to bestow some presents upon the rest.
So many candidates showed up that a fleet of ships could barely hold them. Candide wanted to choose from the best. He marked about one-twentieth who seemed sociable. They all claimed they deserved his favor. He gathered them at his inn and gave them supper. He required each to swear to tell his story faithfully. He promised to choose the one who seemed most justly unhappy with his situation. He also promised to give small gifts to the rest.
They sat until four o'clock in the morning. Candide, in listening to all their adventures, was reminded of what the old woman had said to him in their voyage to Buenos Ayres, and of her wager that there was not a person on board the ship but had met with very great misfortunes. He dreamed of Pangloss at every adventure told to him.
They sat until four in the morning. As Candide listened to their stories, he remembered what the old woman had told him on their voyage to Buenos Aires. He remembered her wager that everyone on the ship had suffered serious misfortunes. He thought of Pangloss after every story.
"This Pangloss," said he, "would be puzzled to demonstrate his system. I wish that he were here. Certainly, if all things are good, it is in El Dorado and not in the rest of the world."
"This Pangloss," he said, "would be hard-pressed to prove his system. I wish he were here. If everything is truly for the best, then that would be true in El Dorado. It is not true in the rest of the world."
At length he made choice of a poor man of letters, who had worked ten years for the booksellers of Amsterdam. He judged that there was not in the whole world a trade which could disgust one more.
Finally, he chose a poor scholar who had worked for Amsterdam booksellers for ten years. He thought there was no trade in the world more disgusting.
This philosopher was an honest man; but he had been robbed by his wife, beaten by his son, and abandoned by his daughter who got a Portuguese to run away with her. He had just been deprived of a small employment, on which he subsisted; and he was persecuted by the preachers of Surinam, who took him for a Socinian. We must allow that the others were at least as wretched as he; but Candide hoped that the philosopher would entertain him during the voyage. All the other candidates complained that Candide had done them great injustice; but he appeased them by giving one hundred piastres to each.
This philosopher was an honest man. But his wife had robbed him, his son had beaten him, and his daughter had run off with a Portuguese man. He had just lost a small job that kept him alive. He was also persecuted by the preachers of Surinam, who accused him of being a Socinian. We must admit the others were at least as miserable as he was. Candide hoped the philosopher would entertain him during the voyage. All the other candidates complained that Candide had treated them very unfairly. He soothed them by giving each one a hundred piastres.