After the earthquake had destroyed three-fourths of Lisbon, the sages of that country could think of no means more effectual to prevent utter ruin than to give the people a beautiful auto-da-fé; for it had been decided by the University of Coimbra, that the burning of a few people alive by a slow fire, and with great ceremony, is an infallible secret to hinder the earth from quaking.
After the earthquake had destroyed three-fourths of Lisbon, the sages of that country could think of no more effective way to prevent utter ruin than to give the people a beautiful auto-da-fé. For the University of Coimbra had decided that burning a few people alive by a slow fire, with great ceremony, is an infallible secret for keeping the earth from quaking.
This auto-da-fé actually took place, some months after the earthquake, on June 20, 1756.
In consequence hereof, they had seized on a Biscayner, convicted of having married his godmother, and on two Portuguese, for rejecting the bacon which larded a chicken they were eating; after dinner, they came and secured Dr. Pangloss, and his disciple Candide, the one for speaking his mind, the other for having listened with an air of approbation. They were conducted to separate apartments, extremely cold, as they were never incommoded by the sun. Eight days after they were dressed in san-benitos and their heads ornamented with paper mitres. The mitre and san-benito belonging to Candide were painted with reversed flames and with devils that had neither tails nor claws; but Pangloss's devils had claws and tails and the flames were upright. They marched in procession thus habited and heard a very pathetic sermon, followed by fine church music. Candide was whipped in cadence while they were singing; the Biscayner, and the two men who had refused to eat bacon, were burnt; and Pangloss was hanged, though that was not the custom. The same day the earth sustained a most violent concussion.
As a result, they seized a Biscayner who had been convicted of marrying his godmother. They also seized two Portuguese men for rejecting the bacon that larded the chicken they were eating. After dinner they arrested Dr. Pangloss and his disciple Candide. Pangloss was taken for speaking his mind. Candide was taken for listening with an air of approval. They were taken to separate rooms. The rooms were extremely cold because they never saw the sun. Eight days later they were dressed in san-benitos. Paper mitres were placed on their heads. Candide's mitre and san-benito were painted with reversed flames and with devils that had neither tails nor claws. Pangloss's devils had claws and tails, and the flames were upright. They marched in procession dressed like that. They heard a very moving sermon, followed by fine church music. Candide was whipped in time with the singing. The Biscayner and the two men who had refused the bacon were burned. Pangloss was hanged, though that was not the custom. That same day the earth shook with a most violent concussion.
The rejection of bacon convicting them, of course, of being Jews, and therefore fitting victims for an auto-da-fé.
The San-benito was a kind of loose over-garment painted with flames, figures of devils, the victim's own portrait, etc., worn by persons condemned to death by the Inquisition when going to the stake on the occasion of an auto-da-fé. Those who expressed repentance for their errors wore a garment of the same kind covered with flames directed downwards, while that worn by Jews, sorcerers, and renegades bore a St. Andrew's cross before and behind.
Candide, terrified, amazed, desperate, all bloody, all palpitating, said to himself:
Candide was terrified and amazed. He felt desperate, covered in blood, and shaking. He said to himself:
"If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others? Well, if I had been only whipped I could put up with it, for I experienced that among the Bulgarians; but oh, my dear Pangloss! thou greatest of philosophers, that I should have seen you hanged, without knowing for what! Oh, my dear Anabaptist, thou best of men, that thou should'st have been drowned in the very harbour! Oh, Miss Cunegonde, thou pearl of girls! that thou should'st have had thy belly ripped open!"
"If this is the best of possible worlds, what are the others like? Well, if I had only been whipped, I could put up with it, for I went through that among the Bulgarians. But oh, my dear Pangloss! You greatest of philosophers, that I should have seen you hanged without knowing why! Oh, my dear Anabaptist, you best of men, that you should have been drowned in the very harbor! Oh, Miss Cunegonde, you pearl of girls! That you should have had your belly ripped open!"
Thus he was musing, scarce able to stand, preached at, whipped, absolved, and blessed, when an old woman accosted him saying:
He was musing, scarcely able to stand. He had been preached at, whipped, absolved, and blessed. An old woman approached him and said:
"My son, take courage and follow me."
"My son, be brave and come with me."