It is, perhaps, one of the most pernicious errors of a rash and inconsiderate life, the common ignorance of the world in the matter of exchanging benefits. And this arises from a mistake, partly in the person that we would oblige, and partly in the thing itself. To begin with the latter: “A benefit is a good office, done with intention and judgment;” that is to say, with a due regard to all the circumstances of what, how, why, when, where, to whom, how much, and the like; or otherwise: “It is a voluntary and benevolent action that delights the giver in the comfort it brings to the receiver.” It will be hard to draw this subject, either into method or compass: the one, because of the infinite variety and complication of cases; the other, by reason of the large extent of it: for the whole business (almost) of mankind in society falls under this head; the duties of kings and subjects, husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants, natives and strangers, high and low, rich and poor, strong and weak, friends and enemies. The very meditation of it breeds good blood and generous thoughts; and instructs us in honor, humanity, friendship, piety, gratitude, prudence, and justice. In short, the art and skill of conferring benefits is, of all human duties, the most absolutely necessary to the well-being, both of reasonable nature, and of every individual; as the very cement of all communities, and the blessing of particulars. He that does good to another man does good also to himself; not only in the consequence, but in the very act of doing it; for the conscience of well-doing is an ample reward.
One of the most damaging mistakes in thoughtless living is our widespread ignorance about how to properly exchange benefits and favors. This problem stems from misunderstanding both the people we want to help and the nature of giving itself. Let's start with what a benefit actually is: "A benefit is a good deed done with intention and judgment." This means considering all circumstances—what, how, why, when, where, to whom, and how much. Put another way: "It's a voluntary, kind action that brings joy to the giver through the comfort it provides the receiver." This topic is difficult to organize or contain because of its infinite variety and complexity, and because nearly all human social interactions fall under this category. It encompasses the duties between kings and subjects, husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants, natives and strangers, high and low, rich and poor, strong and weak, friends and enemies. Simply thinking about this subject cultivates goodwill and noble thoughts. It teaches us honor, humanity, friendship, piety, gratitude, prudence, and justice. The art of giving benefits is the most essential human duty for both our rational nature and individual well-being. It serves as the foundation of all communities and brings blessings to individuals. When you do good for another person, you also benefit yourself—not just from the consequences, but from the very act itself. The satisfaction of doing right is reward enough.
Of benefits in general, there are several sorts; as necessary, profitable, and delightful. Some things there are, without which we cannot live; others without which we ought not to live; and some, again, without which we will not live. In the first rank are those which deliver us from capital dangers, or apprehensions of death: and the favor is rated according to the hazard; for the greater the extremity, the greater seems the obligation. The next is a case wherein we may indeed live, but we had better die; as in the question of liberty, modesty, and a good conscience. In the third place, follow those things which custom, use, affinity, and acquaintance, have made dear to us; as husbands, wives, children, friends, etc., which an honest man will preserve at his utmost peril. Of things profitable there is a large field, as money, honor, etc., to which might be added, matters of superfluity and pleasure. But we shall open a way to the circumstances of a benefit by some previous and more general deliberations upon the thing itself.
Benefits come in several types: necessary, profitable, and delightful. Some things we cannot live without. Others we should not live without. And some we simply will not live without. The first category includes things that save us from serious dangers or the fear of death. We value these favors based on how much danger we faced. The greater the threat, the greater our sense of obligation. The second category covers situations where we might survive, but we'd be better off dead. This includes matters of freedom, dignity, and a clear conscience. Third are the things that habit, custom, family ties, and friendship have made precious to us. These include husbands, wives, children, friends, and so on. An honest person will protect these at great personal risk. Profitable things offer a wide range of possibilities. Money and honor are examples. We could also include luxuries and pleasures here. But before we examine the specific circumstances of a benefit, we need to think more broadly about the concept itself.