In my home in the Twilight Land I rested now for a time, studying to learn more of myself and the powers I had within me, and seeking to apply the lessons I had learned in my wanderings. My chief instructor at this time was a man like myself in many respects, who had lived a similar life on earth and had passed through the lower spheres, as I was now doing, and who had become a dweller in a bright land of sunshine from which he came constantly to teach and help those of the Brotherhood who, like myself, were his pupils.
In my home in the Twilight Land, I took a break to reflect and grow. I focused on understanding myself better and developing my inner strengths, while also applying the lessons from my travels. My main teacher during this period was someone who had lived a life much like mine on Earth. He had also journeyed through the lower spheres, as I was doing now, and had eventually settled in a bright, sunny realm. From there, he regularly visited to teach and support his students in the Brotherhood, including myself.
There was likewise another teacher or guide whom I sometimes saw, whose influence over me was even greater, and from whom I learned many strange things, but as he was in a much more advanced sphere than the other, it was but seldom that I could see him as a distinct personality. His teachings came to me more as mental suggestions or inspirational discourses in answer to some questioning thought on my part. This spirit I shall not now describe to you, as at this time of my sojourn in the Twilight Land I saw him but very dimly, and only clearly when my progression had carried me into a brighter state.
I also had another mentor who had an even greater impact on me. This guide was from a much higher realm, so I rarely saw them as a distinct individual. Instead, their teachings came to me as mental impressions or inspirational responses to my questions. I won't describe this spirit in detail now, as I could only perceive them faintly during my time in the Twilight Land. It wasn't until I progressed to a brighter state that I could see them clearly.
Though this man was not fully visible to me I was often conscious of his presence and his aid, and when later on I learned that he had been my principal guardian spirit during my earthly life, I could easily trace many thoughts and suggestions, many of my higher aspirations, to his influence; and it was his voice that had so often spoke to me in warning or in comfort when I struggled on almost overwhelmed with my terrible position on first entering the spirit world. In the days of darkness I had been faintly conscious of his form flitting in and out of my little cell, and soothing my terrible sufferings with his magnetism and his wonderful knowledge and power.
Although I couldn't always see this man clearly, I often sensed his presence and support. Later, when I discovered he had been my main guardian spirit during my life on Earth, I could easily trace many thoughts, suggestions, and higher aspirations back to his influence. It was his voice that had frequently spoken to me, offering warnings or comfort when I struggled with my overwhelming situation upon first entering the spirit world. During my darkest days, I had vaguely noticed his form moving in and out of my small cell, easing my intense suffering with his magnetism, exceptional knowledge, and power.
On returning to the Twilight Land from the darker spheres I had visited, I felt almost like returning to a home, for, bare and shabby as my room looked, and small and narrow as it was, it yet held all my greatest treasures: my picture mirror in which I could see my beloved, and the rose, and the letter she had sent to me. Moreover I had friends there, companions in misfortune like myself, and though we were as a rule much alone, meditating upon our past mistakes and their lessons, yet at times it was very pleasant to have one friend or another come in to see you, and since we were all alike men who had disgraced ourselves by our earthly lives and were now seeking to follow the better way, there was even in that a bond of sympathy. Our life, could I make you fully realize it, would indeed seem strange to you. It was like and yet unlike an earthly life. For instance, we ate at times a simple sort of food provided for us, it would seem, by magic whenever we felt hungry, but often for a week at a time we would not think of food, unless indeed it was one of us who had been fond of good eating on earth, and in that case the desire would be much more frequent and troublesome to satisfy. For myself my tastes had been somewhat simple, and neither eating nor drinking had in themselves possessed special attractions for me.
Upon returning to the Twilight Land from the darker realms, I felt a sense of homecoming. Despite my room's bare and shabby appearance, it held my most cherished possessions: the picture mirror showing my beloved, the rose, and her letter to me. I had friends here too, fellow companions in misfortune. While we often spent time alone, reflecting on our past mistakes and their lessons, it was pleasant to occasionally have a friend visit. Since we were all men who had disgraced ourselves in our earthly lives and now sought a better path, we shared a bond of sympathy. Our life here would seem strange to you if I could fully describe it. It was both similar to and different from earthly life. For example, we sometimes ate simple food that seemed to appear by magic when we were hungry. However, we could often go a week without thinking of food, unless one of us had been particularly fond of eating on earth. In such cases, the desire would be more frequent and harder to satisfy. As for me, my tastes had always been simple, and neither eating nor drinking held special appeal.
There was always around us this twilight, which was never varied with dark night or bright day, and which was most especially trying to me in its monotony. I so love light and sunshine. To me it was ever as a life-giving bath. I had been born in a land of earth where all is sunshine and flowers.
We lived in constant twilight, never experiencing true night or day. This unrelenting sameness was particularly difficult for me. I crave light and sunshine, which have always felt like a revitalizing tonic. Having been born in a sunny, flower-filled country, I found this gloomy environment especially challenging.
Then although we usually walked about this building and the surrounding country much as you do, we could float a little at will, though not so well as more advanced spirits do, and if we were in a great hurry to go anywhere our wills seemed to carry us there with the speed almost of thought.
We could move around the building and surrounding area much like you do, but we also had the ability to float a bit if we wanted. Our floating wasn't as skillful as more experienced spirits, though. When we needed to get somewhere quickly, our willpower seemed to transport us there almost as fast as we could think it.
As for sleep, we could spend long intervals without feeling its need, or, again, we could lie and sleep for weeks at a time, sometimes semi-conscious of all that passed, at others in the most complete of slumbers. Another strange thing was our dress--which never seemed to wear out and renewed itself in some mysterious fashion. All through this period of my wanderings and while I was in this abode it was of a dark--a very dark--blue color, with a yellow girdle round the waist, and an anchor worked in yellow on the left sleeve, with the words, "Hope is Eternal," below it. There were close-fitting undergarments of the same dark color. The robe was long and such as you see penitent brotherhoods or monks wear on earth, with a hood hung from the shoulders, which could be used to cover the head and face of any who desired to screen their features from view; and indeed there were often times when we wished to do so, for suffering and remorse had made such changes in us that we were often glad to hide our faces from the gaze of those we loved. The hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, wasted and bent forms, and deep lines suffering had traced upon each face told their own story but too well, and such of us as had dear friends on earth or in the spirit land still grieving for our loss, sought often at times to hide from their eyes our disfigured forms and faces.
We could go long periods without needing sleep, or we might sleep for weeks, sometimes half-aware of our surroundings, other times in deep slumber. Our clothing was peculiar - it never wore out and seemed to renew itself mysteriously. During my wanderings and stay in this place, I wore a very dark blue robe with a yellow belt and an anchor embroidered in yellow on the left sleeve, with "Hope is Eternal" written below it. Underneath, we had close-fitting garments of the same dark color. The robe was long, similar to those worn by monks or penitent orders on Earth, with a hood that could cover the head and face. We often wanted to hide our features, as suffering and remorse had changed us dramatically. We were frequently ashamed to show our hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, wasted and bent bodies, and faces lined with suffering to those we loved. Many of us who had dear ones on Earth or in the spirit world still mourning our loss often tried to conceal our disfigured appearance from them.
Our lives had somewhat of monotony about them in the regular order in which our studies and our lectures followed each other like clockwork. At certain stages--for they did not count time by days or weeks, but only as advance was made in the development of each spirit--when a lesson had been learned, in a longer or shorter time according to the spiritual and intellectual development, the spirit was advanced to a higher branch of the subject studied.
Our daily routine had a certain sameness to it, with studies and lectures following a clockwork-like schedule. Progress wasn't measured by days or weeks, but by each spirit's development. When a lesson was mastered—taking more or less time depending on one's spiritual and intellectual growth—the spirit would move on to a more advanced level of the subject.
Some remain a very long time before they can grasp the meaning of the lesson shown to them; if so, the spirit is in no way hurried or pressed on as is done in earth education, where life seems all too short for learning. As a spirit a man has all eternity before him and can stand still or go on as he pleases, or he may remain where he is till he has thought out and grasped clearly what has been shown, and then he is ready for the next step, and so on. There is no hurrying anyone faster than he chooses to go; no interference with his liberty to live on in the same state of undevelopment if he wishes, so long as he interferes with the liberty of no one else and conforms to the simple rule which governs that great Brotherhood, the rule of freedom and sympathy for all. None were urged to learn, and none were kept back from doing so; it was all voluntary, and did anyone seek (as many did) to leave this place, he was free to go where he would, and to return again if he wished; the doors were closed to none, either in going or returning, and none ever sought to reproach another with his faults or shortcomings, for each felt the full depth of his own.
Some take a long time to understand the lessons presented to them. Unlike earthly education, where time feels short for learning, spirits are not rushed or pressured. In the afterlife, a person has eternity ahead and can progress at their own pace. They may pause to fully comprehend what they've been shown before moving to the next step. No one is hurried beyond their chosen speed, nor is anyone's freedom restricted. They can remain undeveloped if they wish, as long as they don't impinge on others' liberty and follow the simple rule of the great Brotherhood: freedom and sympathy for all. Learning is entirely voluntary; none are pushed to learn or held back. Anyone wishing to leave is free to go where they please and return if desired. The doors remain open to all, coming or going. No one attempts to shame another for their faults, as each is deeply aware of their own shortcomings.
Some had been years there, I learned, for to them the lessons were hard and slow to be learned. Others, again, had broken away and gone back to the life of the earth plane so many times that they had descended to the lowest sphere at last, and gone through a course of purification in that other House of Hope where I had first been. They had appeared to go back instead of forward, yet even this had not been in truth a retrogression, but only a needful lesson, since they were thus cured of the desire to try the pleasures of the earth plane again. A few, like myself, who had a strong and powerful motive to rise, made rapid progress, and soon passed on from step to step, but there were, alas! too many who required all the hope and all the help that could be given to sustain and comfort them through all their trials; and it was my lot to be able, out of the storehouse of my own hopefulness, to give a share to others less fortunate who were not blessed, as I was, with a stream of love and sympathy flowing ever to me from my beloved on earth, cheering me on to fresh efforts with its promise of joy and peace at last.
Some had been there for years, struggling to learn the difficult lessons. Others had repeatedly returned to earthly life, ultimately descending to the lowest sphere and undergoing purification in the initial House of Hope. This apparent regression was actually a necessary lesson, curing them of their desire to revisit earthly pleasures. A few, like myself, with strong motivations to improve, progressed rapidly through the stages. Sadly, many required constant hope and support to endure their trials. Fortunately, I could share my own hopefulness with those less fortunate, who lacked the continuous stream of love and sympathy I received from my beloved on earth, encouraging me to persevere with the promise of eventual joy and peace.