The Tiny Animals That Make Up Our Lives and Cause Disease, and the Layout of Moon Towns

During all this Discourse, I made Signs to my Landlord, that he would try if he could oblige the Philosophers to fall upon some head of the Science which they professed. He was too much my Friend, not to start an Occasion upon the Spot: But not to trouble the Reader with the Discourse and Entreaties that were previous to the Treaty, wherein Jest and Earnest were so wittily interwoven, that it can hardly be imitated; I'll only tell you that the Doctor, who came last, after many things, spake as follows:

Throughout this conversation, I signaled to my landlord. I wanted him to try to get the philosophers talking about some subject in their field. He was too good a friend not to find an opportunity at once. Before the discussion began, there was much talk and persuasion. Jest and serious talk were so cleverly woven together that it would be hard to imitate. But I will not trouble the reader with it. I will only say that, after many other things had been said, the doctor who arrived last spoke as follows:

"It remains to be proved, that there are infinite Worlds, in an infinite World: Fancy to your self then the Universe as a great Animal; and that the Stars, which are Worlds, are in this great Animal, as other great Animals that serve reciprocally for Worlds to other Peoples; such as we, our Horses, &c. That we in our turns, are likewise Worlds to certain other Animals, incomparably less than our selves, such as Nits, Lice, Hand-worms, &c. And that these are an Earth to others, more imperceptible ones; in the same manner as every one of us appears to be a great World to these little People. Perhaps our Flesh, Blood, and Spirits, are nothing else but a Contexture of little Animals¹ that correspond, lend us Motion from theirs, and blindly suffer themselves to be guided by our Will which is their Coachman; or otherwise conduct us, and all Conspiring together, produce that Action which we call Life.

“It remains to be proved that there are infinite worlds within an infinite world. Imagine, then, that the universe is a great animal. The stars are worlds within this great animal, just as other great animals serve as worlds for other peoples. We and our horses, for example, are such animals. We, in turn, are worlds to certain animals incomparably smaller than ourselves, such as nits, lice, handworms, and so on. These animals are an earth to others, even harder to perceive. In the same way, each of us appears to be a great world to these little people. Perhaps our flesh, blood, and spirits are nothing more than a network of little animals¹. These animals act together and give us motion through their own motion. They blindly allow themselves to be guided by our will, which is their coachman. Or perhaps they direct us instead, and all act together to produce what we call life.”

"For tell me, pray, is it a hard thing to be believed, that a Louse takes your Body for a World; and that when any one of them travels from one of your Ears to the other, his Companions say, that he hath travelled the Earth from end to end, or that he hath run from one Pole to the other? Yes, without doubt, those little People take your Hair for the Forests of their Country; the Pores full of Liquor, for Fountains; Buboes and Pimples, for Lakes and Ponds; Boils, for Seas; and Defluxions, for Deluges: And when you Comb your self, forwards, and backwards, they take that Agitation for the Flowing and Ebbing of the Ocean. Doth not Itching make good what I say? What is the little Worm that causes it but one of these little Animals, which hath broken off from civil Society, that it may set up for a Tyrant in its Country? If you ask me, why are they bigger than other imperceptible Creatures? I ask you, why are Elephants bigger than we? And the Irish-men, than Spaniards?

“Tell me, please, is it hard to believe that a louse takes your body for a world? When one travels from one of your ears to the other, its companions say it has crossed the earth. Or they say it has traveled from one pole to the other. Yes, without doubt, those little people take your hair for their country’s forests and your fluid-filled pores for fountains. They take swollen lumps and pimples for lakes and ponds, boils for seas, and flows of bodily fluid for floods. When you comb your hair back and forth, they take the movement for the ocean’s ebb and flow. Doesn’t itching prove my point? What is the little worm that causes it? It is one of these little creatures, which has broken away from civil society to become a tyrant in its country. If you ask why they are bigger than other creatures too small to be seen, I have a question for you. Why are elephants bigger than we are? And why are Irish-men bigger than Spaniards?”

"As to the Blisters, and Scurff, which you know not the Cause of; they must either happen by the Corruption of their Enemies, which these little Blades have killed, or which the Plague has caused by the scarcity of Food, for which the Seditious worried one another² and left Mountains of Dead Carcases rotting in the Field; or because the Tyrant, having driven away on all Hands his Companions, who by their Bodies stopt up the Pores of ours, hath made way out for the waterish matter, which being extravasted out of the Sphere of the Circulation of our Blood, is corrupted. It may be asked, perhaps, why a Nit, or Hand-worm, produces so many disorders: But that's easily conceived, for as one Revolt begets another, so these little People, egg'd on by the bad Example of their Seditious Companions, aspire severally to Sovereign Command; and occasion every where War, Slaughter, and Famine.

"As for the blisters and scurf, whose cause you do not know, they must have one of several causes. They may come from the decay of the enemies these little fellows have killed. Or they may come from the decay of those killed by the plague caused by the shortage of food. Because of that shortage, the rebels attacked one another² and left mountains of dead bodies rotting in the field. Or the blisters and scurf may have another cause. The tyrant has driven away his companions on all sides, and their bodies had blocked the pores of our bodies. This has allowed watery matter to escape from the circulation of our blood and decay. One might perhaps ask why a nit or hand-worm causes so many disorders. But that is easy to understand. Just as one revolt leads to another, these little people are encouraged by the bad example of their rebellious companions. Each one strives for supreme command, causing war, slaughter, and famine everywhere.

"But you'll say, some are far less subject to Itching than others; and, nevertheless, all are equally inhabited by these little Animals, since you say they are the Cause of our Life. That's true; for we observe, that Phlegmatick People are not so much given to scratching as the Cholerick; because the People sympathizing with the Climate they inhabit, are slower in a cold Body, than those others that are heated by the temper of their Region, who frisk and stir, and cannot rest in a place: Thus a Cholerick Man is more delicate than a Phlegmatick; because being animated in many more Parts, and the Soul being the Action of these little Beasts, he is capable of Feeling in all places where these Cattle stir. Whereas the Phlegmatick Man, wanting sufficient Heat to put that stirring Mobile in Action, is sensible but in a few places.

"But you'll say that some people are far less prone to itching than others. Yet all are equally inhabited by these little animals, since you say they are the cause of our life. That's true. We observe that phlegmatic people are less inclined to scratch than choleric people. This is because the inhabitants take on the character of their climate. They are slower in a cold body than those warmed by the temper of their region. Those in the warmer region frisk and stir and cannot stay still. Thus a choleric person is more sensitive than a phlegmatic person. More parts of the choleric person are animated, and the soul is the activity of these little beasts. So a choleric person can feel wherever these creatures stir. A phlegmatic person, by contrast, lacks enough heat to set this stirring force in motion. As a result, a phlegmatic person can feel in only a few places."

"To prove more plainly that universal Vermicularity, you need but consider, when you are wounded, how the Blood runs to the Sore: Your Doctors say that it is guided by provident Nature, who would succour the parts debilitated; which might make us conclude, that, besides the Soul and Mind, there were a third intellectual Substance, that had distinct Organs and Functions: And therefore, it seems to me far more Rational to say, That these little Animals finding themselves attacked send to demand Assistance from their Neighbours, and thus, Recruits flocking in from all Parts and the Country being too little to contain so many, they either die of Hunger or We stifled in the Press. That Mortality happens when the Boil is ripe; for as an Argument that these Animals at that time are stifled, the Flesh becomes insensible: Now, if Blood-letting, which is many times ordered to divert the Fluxion, do any good, it is because, much being lost by the Orifice which these little Animals laboured to stop, they refuse their Allies Assistance, having no more Forces than is enough to defend themselves at home."

"To prove universal Vermicularity more plainly, just consider how blood flows to a wound. Your doctors say that provident Nature guides it there to help the weakened parts. But that might lead us to conclude that, besides the soul and mind, there is a third intellectual substance. This substance would have its own organs and functions. So it seems to me far more rational to say that these little animals call on their neighbors for help when attacked. Recruits then flock in from all parts. The area is too small to hold so many, so they either starve or are suffocated in the crowd. This mortality occurs when the boil is ripe. The flesh becomes numb then, which suggests that the animals are suffocated. Bloodletting is often prescribed to divert the flow of blood. If it does any good, that is because much blood is lost through the opening these little animals tried to stop. They then refuse to help their allies, having only enough forces left to defend themselves at home."

Thus he concluded, and when the second Philosopher perceived by all our Looks that we longed to hear him speak in his turn:

He finished speaking, and the second philosopher saw from all our faces that we were eager to hear him speak in turn:

"Men," said he, "seeing you are curious to instruct this little Animal, (our like), in somewhat of the Science which we profess, I am now dictating a Treatise which I wish he might see, because of the Light it gives to the Understanding of our Natural Philosophy; it is an Explication of the Original³ of the World: But seeing I am in haste to set my Bellows at work, (for to Morrow, without delay, the Town departs;) I hope you'll excuse my want of time, and I promise to satisfie you as soon as the Town is arrived at the place whither it is to go."

"Gentlemen," he said, "you are eager to teach this little animal (one like us) something of the science we practice. I am now dictating a treatise that I wish he could see. It sheds light on our natural philosophy and explains the origin³ of the world. But I am in a hurry to set my bellows to work. The town leaves tomorrow, without delay. So I hope you'll excuse me for not having time now. I promise to satisfy your curiosity as soon as the town arrives at its destination."

At these words, the Landlord's Son called his Father, to know what it was a Clock? who having answered him, that it was past Eight, he asked him in a great Rage, Why he did not give him notice at Seven, according as he had commanded him; that he knew well enough the Houses were to be gone to Morrow; and that the City Walls were already upon their Journey? "Son," replyed the good Man, "since you sate down to Table, there is an Order published, That no House shall budg before next day:" "That's all one," answered the young Man; "you ought blindly to obey, not to examine my Orders, and only remember what I commanded you. Quick, go fetch me your Effigies:" So soon as it was brought, he took hold on't by the Arm, and Whipt it a whole quarter of an Hour: "Away you ne'er be good," continued he; "as a Punishment for your disobedience, it's my Will and Pleasure, that this day you serve for a Laughing-stock to all People; and therefore I command you, not to walk but upon two Legs, till Night." The Poor Man went out in a very mournful Condition, and the Young man excused to us his Passion.

At these words, the landlord's son called his father and asked him the time. His father answered that it was past eight. Furious, the young man asked why his father had not told him at seven, as he had ordered. His father knew well enough that the houses were to leave tomorrow and that the city walls were already on their way. "Son," the good man replied, "since you sat down to eat, an order has been published. No house is to move before tomorrow." "That makes no difference," the young man answered. "You should obey blindly, not question my orders. You need only remember what I commanded you. Quick, go and fetch me your effigy." As soon as it was brought, he seized it by the arm and whipped it for a full quarter of an hour. "Away with you, you good-for-nothing," he continued. "As punishment for your disobedience, I want you to be a laughingstock to everyone today. So I command you to walk on only two legs until nightfall." The poor man went out looking very mournful, and the young man apologized to us for his anger.

I had much ado, though I bit my Lip, to forbear Laughing at so pleasant a Punishment; and therefore to take me off of this odd piece of Pedantick Discipline, which, without doubt, would have made, me burst out at last; I prayed my Philosopher to tell me what he meant by that Journey of the Town he talked of, and if the Houses and Walls Travelled?

Even though I bit my lip, I could hardly keep from laughing at such an amusing punishment. This odd display of pedantic discipline would no doubt have made me burst out laughing eventually. So, to distract myself, I asked my philosopher what he meant by the town's journey. Did the houses and walls travel?

"Dear Stranger," answered he, "we have some Ambulatory Towns, and some Sedentary; the Ambulatory, as for instance this wherein now we are, are Built in this manner: The Architector, as you see, builds every Palace of a very light sort of Timber; supported by four Wheels underneath; in the thickness of one of the Walls he places ten large pair of Bellows, whose Snouts pass in a Horizontal Line through the upper Story, from one Pinacle to the other; so that when Towns are to be removed from one place to another, (for according to the Seasons they change the Air) every one spreads a great many Sails upon one side of the House, before the Noses of the Bellows; then having wound up a Spring to make them play, in less than Eight days time their Houses, by the continual Puffs which these Windy Monsters blow, are driven, if one pleases, an Hundred Leagues and more.

"Dear Stranger," he replied, "we have some mobile towns and some stationary ones. The mobile towns, like the one we are in now, are built this way: As you can see, the architect builds each palace from very light wood and supports it on four wheels. Inside one wall, he places ten large pairs of bellows. Their nozzles run horizontally through the upper story, from one pinnacle to the other. The towns move from place to place to change their air with the seasons. When it is time to move, everyone spreads many sails on one side of their house, in front of the bellows' nozzles. Then they wind up a spring to set the bellows working. In less than eight days, the constant puffs from these windy monsters can drive their houses a hundred leagues or more, if they wish.

"For those which we call Sedentary, they are almost like to your Towers; save that they are of Timber, and that they have a Great and Strong Skrew or Vice in the Middle, reaching from the top to the Bottom; whereby they may be hoisted up or let down as People please. Now the Ground under neath is dugg as deep as the House is high; and it is so ordered, that so soon as the Frosts begin to chill the Air, they may sink their Houses down under Ground, where they keep themselves secure from the Severity of the Weather: But as soon as the gentle Breathings of the Spring begin to soften and qualifie the Air; they raise them above Ground again, by means of the great Skrew I told you of."

“Those we call Sedentary are almost like your towers, except that they are made of wood. A large, strong screw runs through the middle from top to bottom. People can use it to raise or lower the houses as they please. The ground beneath each house is dug out as deep as the house is high. When frost begins to chill the air, they can lower their houses underground. There they are safe from the harsh weather. But as soon as the gentle breath of spring begins to soften the air, they raise their houses above ground again. They do this using the great screw I mentioned.”