Warfare on the Moon, and How the Moon Is Not the Moon and the Earth Is Not the Earth

One Morning early, having started out of my Sleep, I found her Taboring¹ upon the grates of my Cage: "Take good heart," said she to me, "yesterday in Council a War was resolved upon, against the King ² I hope that during the hurry of Preparations, whilst our Monarch and his Subjects are absent, I may find an occasion to make your escape." "How, a War," said I interrupting her, "have the Princes of this World, then, any quarrels amongst themselves, as those of ours have? Good now, let me know their way of Fighting."

Early one morning, I woke to find her drumming¹ on the bars of my cage. "Take heart," she said. "Yesterday the council decided to go to war against the King.² I hope I can find a chance to help you escape. I may be able to do it amid the rush of preparations, while our monarch and his subjects are away." "What, a war?" I interrupted. "Do the princes of this world have quarrels among themselves, just as ours do? Please, tell me how they fight."

"When the Arbitrators," replied she, "who are freely chosen by the two Parties, have appointed the time for raising Forces for their March, the number of Combatants, the day and place of Battle, and all with so great equality, that there is not one Man more in one Army, than in the other: All the maimed Soldiers on the one side, are lifted in one Company; and when they come to engage, the Mareshalls de Camp³ take care to expose them to the maimed of the other side: The Giants are matched with Colosses, the Fencers with those that can handle their Weapons, the Valiant with the Stout, the Weak with the Infirm, the Sick with the Indisposed, the Sturdy with the Strong; and if any undertake to strike at another than the Enemy he is matched with, unless he can make it out that it was by mistake, he is Condemned for a Coward. When the Battle is over, they take an account of the Wounded, the Dead and the Prisoners, for Runaways they have none; and if the loss be equal on both sides, they draw Cuts, who shall be Proclaimed Victorious.

“The arbitrators are freely chosen by the two sides,” she replied. “They set the time to raise forces for the march, the number of combatants, and the day and place of battle. They arrange everything so equally that neither army has a single man more than the other. All the maimed soldiers on each side are enrolled in one company. When battle begins, the Mareshalls de Camp³ make sure they face the maimed soldiers on the other side. Giants are matched with giants, fencers with skilled weapons handlers, the brave with the stouthearted, the weak with the infirm, the sick with the unwell, and the sturdy with the strong. If anyone attacks an enemy other than the one matched with him, he is condemned as a coward. He escapes condemnation only if he can prove it was a mistake. After the battle, they count the wounded, the dead, and the prisoners, for they have no deserters. If both sides have equal losses, they draw lots to decide who will be proclaimed victorious.

"But though a Kingdom hath defeated the Enemy in open War, yet there is hardly any thing got by it; for there are other smaller Armies of Learned and Witty Men, on whose Disputations the Triumph or Servitude of States wholly depends.

"But even if a kingdom has defeated its enemy in open war, it has hardly gained anything. For there are other, smaller armies of learned and clever men. The triumph or servitude of states depends entirely on their arguments.

"One Learned Man grapples with another, one Wit with another, and one Judicious Man with another Judicious Man: Now the Triumph which a State gains in this manner is reckoned as good as three Victories by open force. After the Proclamation of Victory, the Assembly is broken up, and the Victorious People either chuse the Enemies King to be theirs, or confirm their own."

"One learned man contests another, one wit contests another, and one judicious man contests another. A victory won by a state in this way is considered as good as three victories by open force. After the victory is proclaimed, the assembly breaks up. The victorious people then either choose the enemy's king as their own or confirm their own king."

I could not forbear to Laugh at this scrupulous way of giving Battle; and for an Example of much stronger Politicks, I alledged the Customs of our Europe, where the Monarch would be sure not to let slip any favourable occasion of gaining the day; but mind what she said as to that.

I could not help laughing at this scrupulous way of fighting a battle. As an example of much stronger politics, I pointed to the customs of our own Europe. There, a monarch would be sure to seize any favorable opportunity to win the battle. But listen to what she said about that.

"Tell me, pray, if your Princes use not a pretext of Right, when they levy Arms:" "No doubt," answered I, "and of the Justice of their Cause too." "Why then," replied she, "do they not chuse Impartial and Unsuspected Arbitrators to compose their Differences? And if it be found, that the one has as much Right as the other, let things continue as they were; or let them play a game at Picket, for the Town or Province that's in dispute."

“Tell me, don’t your princes claim they have a right to wage war?” “No doubt,” I answered, “and they claim their cause is just, too.” “Then why,” she replied, “don’t they choose impartial, trustworthy arbitrators to settle their differences? If both sides are found to have an equal right, let things stay as they were. Or let them play a game of Picket for the town or province in dispute.”

"But why all these Circumstances," replied I, "in your way of Fighting? Is it not enough, that both Armies are equal in the number of Men?" "Your Judgment is Weak," answered she. "Would you think in Conscience, that if you had the better of your Enemy, Hand to Hand, in an open Field, you had fairly overcome him, if you had had on a Coat of Mail, and he none; if he had had but a Dagger, and you a Tuck⁴; and in a Word, if he had had but one Arm, and you both yours? Nevertheless, what Equality soever you may recommend to your Gladiators, they never fight on even terms; for the one will be a tall Man, and the other Short; the one skilful at his weapon, and the other a Man that never handled a Sword; the one will be strong, and the other Weak: And though these Disproportions were not, but that the one were as skillful and strong as the other; yet still they might not be rightly matched; for one, perhaps, may have more Courage than the other, who being rash and hot-headed, inconcerned in danger, as not foreseeing it; of a bilious Temper, a more contracted Heart, with all the qualities that constitute Courage, (as if that, as well as a Sword, were not a Weapon which his Adversary hath not:) He makes nothing of falling desperately upon, terrifying, and killing this poor Man, who foresees the danger; who has his Heat choked in Phlegme, and a Heart too wide to close in the Spirits in such a posture as is necessary for thawing that Ice which is called Cowardise. And now you praise that Man, for having killed his Enemy at odds, and praising him for his Boldness you praise him for a Sin against nature; seeing such Boldness tends to its destruction. And this puts me in mind to tell ye, that some Years ago application was made to the Council of War for a more circumspect and conscientious Rule to be made, as to the way of Fighting. The Philosopher who gave the advice, if I mistake it not, spake in this manner.

"But why do you require all these conditions for fighting?" I replied. "Isn't it enough that both armies have the same number of men?" "Your judgment is weak," she answered. "Suppose you defeated your enemy in hand-to-hand combat in an open field. Could you honestly say you had beaten him fairly if you wore a coat of mail and he did not? Or if he had only a dagger and you had a tuck⁴? Or, in short, if he had only one arm and you had both? "Yet however much equality you may prescribe for your gladiators, they never fight on equal terms. One will be tall and the other short. One will be skilled with his weapon, while the other has never handled a sword. One will be strong and the other weak. And even without these differences, they might not be evenly matched, though equally skilled and strong. For perhaps one has more courage than the other. He is reckless and hotheaded, unconcerned about danger because he does not foresee it. He has a bilious temperament, a more tightly contracted heart, and all the qualities that make up courage. You treat courage as if it were not a weapon, like a sword, that his opponent lacks. "So he thinks nothing of attacking recklessly, terrifying, and killing the poor man who does foresee the danger. That man's inner heat is smothered by phlegm. His heart is too wide to hold his spirits in the state needed to thaw the ice called cowardice. And you praise the first man for killing his enemy when the odds were in his favor. By praising his boldness, you praise him for a sin against nature, since such boldness tends to destroy nature. "This reminds me to tell you that some years ago, a request was made to the Council of War. It asked for a more careful and conscientious rule for fighting. If I remember rightly, the philosopher who proposed it spoke in this way.

"You imagine, Gentlemen, that you have very equally balanced the advantages of two Enemies, when you have chosen both Tall Men, both skillful, and both couragious: But that's not enough, seeing after all the Conquerour must have the better on't either through his Skill, Strength, or good Fortune. If it be by Skill, without doubt he hath taken his Adversary on the blind side, which he did not expect; or struck him sooner than was likely, or faining to make his Pass on one side, he hath attacked him on the other: Nevertheless all this is Cunning, Cheating, and Treachery, and none of these make a brave Man: If he hath triumphed by Force, would you judge his Enemy overcome, because he hath been over-powered? No; doubtless, no more than you'll say that a Man hath lost the Victory, when, overwhelm'd by a Mountain, it was not in his power to gain it: Even so, the other was not overcome, because he was not in a suitable Disposition, at that nick of time, to resist the violences of his Adversary. If Chance hath given him the better of his Enemy, Fortune ought then to be Crowned, since he hath contributed nothing to it; and, in fine, the vanquished is no more to be blamed, than he who at Dice having thrown Seventeen, is beat by another that throws three Sixes.'

"You think, gentlemen, that you have made a fight between two enemies fair by choosing men who are equally tall, skilled, and courageous. But that is not enough. In the end, the winner must gain the advantage through skill, strength, or good fortune. If he wins through skill, he has surely caught his opponent off guard. Or he has struck sooner than expected, or pretended to attack on one side and attacked on the other. Yet all this is cunning, cheating, and treachery. None of it makes a man brave. If he wins through strength, would you say his enemy was defeated because he was overpowered? No, certainly not. You would no more say that than you would say a man lost a victory when a mountain crushed him. It was not in his power to win. In the same way, the other man was not defeated. At that moment, he was simply in no condition to resist his opponent's force. If chance has given him the advantage over his enemy, then Fortune should be crowned, since he contributed nothing to the victory. Finally, the loser is no more to blame than a man who rolls seventeen with dice and is beaten by another who rolls three sixes.'

"They confessed he was in the right; but that it was impossible, according to humane Appearances, to remedy it; and that it was better to submit to a small inconvenience, than to open a door to a hundred of greater Importance."

"They admitted he was right. But as far as anyone could tell, it was impossible to remedy the problem. They said it was better to accept a small inconvenience than to risk a hundred much greater ones."

She entertained me no longer at that time, because she was afraid to be found alone with me so early; not that Impudicity is a Crime in that Country: On the contrary, except Malefactors Convicted, all Men have power over all Women; and in the same manner, a Woman may bring her Action against a Man for refusing her: But she durst not keep me company publickly, because the Members of Council, at their last meeting, had said, That it was chiefly the Women who gave it out that I was a Man; which was the reason that for a long time I neither saw her, nor any other of her Sex.

She did not stay with me any longer then, because she feared being found alone with me so early. Not that sexual misconduct is a crime in that country. On the contrary, all men have power over all women, except men convicted of crimes. In the same way, a woman may bring a legal action against a man who refuses her. But she did not dare keep me company in public. At their last meeting, the council members had said that women were chiefly responsible for spreading the claim that I was a man. For that reason, I saw neither her nor any other woman for a long time.

In the mean time, some must needs have revived the Disputes about the Definition of my Being; for whilst I was thinking of nothing else but of dying in my Cage, I was once more brought out to have another Audience. I was then questioned, in presence of a great many Courtiers, upon some points of Natural Philosophy; and, as I take it, my Answers gave some kind of Satisfaction; for the President declared to me at large his thoughts concerning the structure of the World. They seemed to me very ingenious; and had he not traced it to its Original,⁵ which he maintained to be Eternal, I should have thought his Philosophy⁶ more rational than our own: But as soon as I heard him maintain a Foppery⁶ so contrary to our Faith. I broke with him; at which he did but laugh; and that obliged me to tell him, That since they were thereabouts with it, I began again to think that their World was but a Moon.

Meanwhile, some people must have reopened the debate over what kind of being I was. I was thinking of nothing but dying in my cage when I was brought out for another hearing. There, in the presence of many courtiers, I was questioned about natural philosophy. I believe my answers satisfied them somewhat. For the president explained at length his thoughts about the structure of the world. His ideas seemed very ingenious to me. I would have thought his philosophy⁶ more rational than our own, except for his account of the world's origin.⁵ He maintained that the world was eternal. As soon as I heard him defend such nonsense,⁶ which was so contrary to our faith, I broke with him. He only laughed at that. So I told him that, since that was how matters stood, I was beginning to think again that their world was only a moon.

But then all cried, "Don't you see here Earth, Rivers, Seas? what's all that then?" "No matter," said I, "Aristotle assures us it is but a Moon; and if you had said the contrary in the Schools, where I have been bred, you would have been hissed at." At this they all burst out in laughter; you need not ask, if it was their Ignorance that made them do so; for in the mean time I was carried back to my Cage.

But then they all cried, "Don't you see Earth, rivers, and seas here? What is all that, then?" "That doesn't matter," I said. "Aristotle assures us that it is only a Moon. If you had said otherwise in the schools where I was educated, you would have been hissed at." At this they all burst out laughing. You need not ask whether their ignorance made them do so. Meanwhile, I was carried back to my cage.

But some more passionate Doctors, being informed that I had the boldness to affirm, That the Moon, from whence I came, was a World; and that their World was no more but a Moon, thought it might give them a very just pretext to have me condemned to the Water, for that's their way of rooting out Hereticks. For that end, they went in a Body, and complained to the King, who promised them Justice; and order'd me once more to be brought to the Bar.

But some more passionate scholars heard that I had dared to claim that the Moon I came from was a world. I had also claimed that their world was nothing more than a moon. They thought this might give them a perfectly good excuse to have me condemned to the water. That is how they get rid of heretics. So they went as a group and complained to the King. He promised them justice and ordered me brought before the court once more.

Now was I the third time Un-caged; and then the most Ancient spoke, and pleaded against me. I do not well remember his Speech; because I was too much frighted to receive the tones of his Voice without disorder; and because also in declaiming, he made use of an Instrument which stunn'd me with its noise: It was a Speaking-Trumpet, which he had chosen on purpose that by its Martial Sound he might rouse them to my death; and by that Emotion of their Spirits, hinder Reason from performing its Office: As it happens in our Armies, where the noise of Drums and Trumpets hinders the Souldiers from minding the importance of their Lives.

Now I was let out of the cage for the third time. Then the oldest man spoke and argued against me. I do not remember his speech well. I was too frightened to hear his voice without being disturbed. He also used an instrument while speaking that stunned me with its noise. It was a speaking trumpet. He had chosen it deliberately, so that its martial sound would stir them to put me to death. By stirring their emotions, he hoped to prevent reason from doing its work. The same thing happens in our armies, where the noise of drums and trumpets keeps soldiers from considering the value of their lives.

When he had done, I rose up to defend my Cause; but I was excused from it, by an Accident that will surprize you. Just as I had opened my Mouth, a Man, who with much ado had pressed through the Crowd, fell at the King's Feet, and a long while rouled himself upon his Back in his presence. This practice did not at all surprize me, because I knew it to be the posture they put themselves into, when they have a mind to be heard in publick: I only stopt my own Harangue, and gave Ear to his.

When he had finished, I rose to defend my case. But an unexpected event spared me the need to speak, and it will surprise you. Just as I opened my mouth, a man who had struggled through the crowd fell at the King's feet. He rolled on his back before the King for a long time. This did not surprise me at all, because I knew people took this position when they wanted to speak in public. I simply stopped my own speech and listened to his.

"Just Judges," said he, "listen to me; you cannot Condemn that Man, that Monkey or Parrot, for saying, That the Moon from whence he comes is a World; for if he be a Man, though he were not come from the Moon, since all Men are free, is not he free also to imagine what he pleases? How can you constrain him not to have Visions, as well as you? You may very well force him to say, That the Moon is not a World, but he will not believe it for all that; for to believe a thing, some possibilities enclining more to the Yea than to the Nay, must offer to ones Imagination: And unless you furnish him that Probability, or his own mind hit upon it, he may very well tell you that he believes, but still remain an Infidel.⁷

“Fair judges,” he said, “listen to me. You cannot condemn that man, monkey, or parrot for saying that the Moon he comes from is a world. If he is a man, even if he did not come from the Moon, he is free to imagine whatever he pleases. After all, all men are free. How can you stop him from having visions, any more than you can stop yourselves? You may force him to say that the Moon is not a world, but he still will not believe it. To believe something, a person must imagine possibilities that make it seem more likely to be true than false. Unless you give him reason to believe it, or he finds one himself, he may tell you he believes it. But he will still be a disbeliever.⁷

"I am now to prove, that he ought not to be condemned if you lift him in the Catalogue of Beasts.

"I will now prove that he should not be condemned if you list him among the beasts.

"For suppose him to be an Animal without Reason, would it be rational in you to Condemn him for offending against it? He hath said, that the Moon is a World. Now Beasts act only by the instinct of Nature: it is Nature then that says so, and not he: To think that wise Nature, who hath made the World and the Moon, knows not her self what it is; and that ye who have no more Knowledge but what ye derive from her, should more certainly know it, would be very Ridiculous. But if Passion should make you renounce your Principles, and you should suppose that Nature does not guide Beasts; blush, at least, to think on't, that the Caprices of a Beast should so discompose you.

“Suppose he is an animal without reason. Would it be reasonable to condemn him for offending against reason? He has said that the Moon is a World. Now, beasts act only by Nature’s instinct. So it is Nature that says the Moon is a World, not he. Wise Nature made the World and the Moon. It would be ridiculous to think that she does not know what the Moon is. And it would be ridiculous to think that you know better, when all your knowledge comes from her. But suppose passion leads you to abandon your principles and assume that Nature does not guide beasts. At least blush to think that a beast’s whims could upset you so much.”

"Really, Gentlemen, should you meet with a Man come to the Years of Discretion, who made it his business to inspect the Government of Pismires, giving a blow to one that had overthrown its Companion, imprisoning another that had robb'd its Neighbour of a grain of Corn, and inditing a third for leaving its Eggs; would you not think him a mad Man, to be employed in things so far below him, and to pretend to give Laws to Animals, that never had Reason? How will you then, most Venerable Assembly, justifie your selves for being so concerned at the Caprices of that little Animal? Just Judges, I have no more to say."

"Really, gentlemen, suppose you met a man old enough to know better who made it his business to oversee the government of ants. He struck one for knocking over another, and imprisoned another for stealing a grain of corn from its neighbor. He charged a third with abandoning its eggs. Would you not think him mad to concern himself with matters so far beneath him? Would you not think him mad to claim the right to make laws for animals that never had reason? How then, most venerable assembly, can you justify being so concerned with the whims of that little animal? Just judges, I have no more to say."

When he had made an end, all the Hall rung again with a kind of Musical Applause; and after all the Opinions had been canvased, during the space of a large quarter of an hour, the King gave Sentence:

When he finished, the whole hall rang with a kind of musical applause. After all the opinions had been discussed for a little over fifteen minutes, the King gave his judgment:

That for the future, I should be reputed to be a Man, accordingly set at liberty, and that the Punishment of being Drowned, should be converted into a publick Disgrace (the most honourable way of satisfying the Law in that Country) whereby I should be obliged to retract openly what I had maintained in saying, That the Moon was a World, because of the Scandal that the novelty of that opinion might give to weak Brethren.

From then on, I was to be recognized as a man and set free. My sentence of drowning was to be changed to public disgrace. In that country, public disgrace was the most honorable way to satisfy the law. I would be required to publicly take back my claim that the Moon was a world. The novelty of this idea might scandalize weak brethren.

This Sentence being pronounced, I was taken away out of the Palace, richly Cloathed; but in derision, carried in a magnificent Chariot, as on a Tribunal, which four Princes in Harness drew; and in all the publick places of the Town, I was forced to make this Declaration:

After the sentence was pronounced, I was taken out of the palace, richly dressed. But, to mock me, I was carried as if on a raised platform in a magnificent chariot, drawn by four princes in harness. In all the town's public places, I was forced to make this declaration:

"Good People, I declare to you, That this Moon here is not a Moon, but a World; and that that World below is not a World, but a Moon: This the Council thinks fit you should believe."

"Good people, I tell you that this Moon is not a moon, but a world. And the world below is not a world, but a moon. The Council thinks you should believe this."